I don't own these characters and I don't own this premise.
Dilemma Twenty-five: Control Group
Okay, I admit that I had a lot of fun with my little monster last weekend. I mean, it was almost perfect. I'm not even mad about how she tried to pull my swimsuit down. I guess she's just too cute to be mad at. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up about this weekend, but how much can he screw up in one weekend? I mean, it's just one fucking weekend.
Kim was left at home while her mistress went out for a weekend getaway with Drakken. The redhead was rather curious as to why Shego would do such a thing, especially since she had just had a weekend getaway with her pet. It was very odd in her opinion.
"Why would Shego go out two weekends in a row? Actually, why would she go with me one weekend and then Drakken the next? I mean, I know what it looks like, but is that really what it is? Could it be anything else?" Kim wondered. Her mathematic and scientific mind was screaming experiment like it was the only word that she knew for the simple fact that it was the only reason that she could think of to rationalize things. It could possibly to be a compare and contrast mission of some kind, her mind decided without her permission.
But, the redhead tried to argue with her scientific self and pointed out that she had no idea what kind of experiment Shego could be trying to conduct by going out with her one week and then going out with Drakken the next. It might be a comparison, her mind offered again, which Kim could believe, but there were problems with that. There were plenty of problems with that, actually.
"How could or would Shego compare me with Drakken? I mean, that's way apples and oranges. It's like comparing two colors, like blue to red. There's no scientific way to measure the two. I'm her pet and Drakken's her boyfriend. Never do the two meet. Right?" So, why else might Shego go out with her one weekend and then go out with Drakken the next?
The hero could not think of the answer to that question. Was the trip that her master took with her for fun and her current trip with Drakken for pleasure? She could not and refused to try to picture Drakken pleasing her owner. It did not seem plausible in any way, shape, or form. So, she tried to stop thinking about it before she traveled down a road that she really did not want to go down. In fact, if she kept thinking about it, she might make herself vomit anyway.
"Better go find something to do before I let my boredom drive me nuts," Kim decided.
-8-8-8-8-
Shego and Drakken arrived at the small house in the mountains that she had just been to last week with her excitable monster. All evidence that she and Kim had been there was gone. She would not be surprised if her mother had forensic teams sweep the place and try to find proof that she and her pet had any sort of intimate contact. She could only hope that the woman did not have cameras set up around the house. She was upset that she had not thought to check for surveillance equipment the last time that she was at the house. It was a good thing that she and Kim did not have a sexual relationship, she thought.
"This is an interesting little place here," the cerulean inventor commented as they entered the small house.
"Yeah, I guess," Shego replied. She did not see what was so interesting about the look of the place. It did have a fascinating history behind it being one of her mother's many "safe houses." Her mother had several little getaway spots tucked away all over the world. She had been to about a dozen in her lifetime.
"Is this a timeshare?" he inquired.
"Something like that," she answered. Her mother owned the place, but Shego could go to the house anytime that she felt like it. Well, except for if her mother was there and in a "mood."
There was a certain mood that her mother got into every so often where she just wanted to be left alone for a few days to a couple of weeks. If anyone dared to try to interact with her in that time, Isabel would come very close to literally biting the person's head off, even her beloved daughter. Shego knew that was the stress of her mother's life. She tended to blame it on her father, even though her mother had never said that he was the cause. Her mother was also an active woman, so her life had to get stressful at times, but Shego still believed that it was her father mostly that bothered her mother.
"So, where do I stay?" Drakken asked while looking around the place.
"There's only one bedroom. It's right over there." Shego directed his attention to the second door on their left while trying to ignore the fact that he had just asked a very stupid question. Even her pet had not thought to ask where she would stay and her brat was not supposed to expect to share the bed.
"Oh. So, there's only one bed?" he guessed.
"Probably," she answered with a teasing smirk. She wondered if he was going to ask a follow-up idiotic question.
"Oh," he said as if he was surprised by the fact.
"What are you oh-ing? You act like you don't sleep next to me almost once a week," the pale woman commented in a slightly irked tone.
They had barely been in the house for thirty seconds and he was already tap dancing on her nerves. At the rate he was going, she was pretty sure that she was going to have to punch him sooner or later to relieve some frustration. Of course, if things came to that, she would have an answer to her musings.
"Oh, well, yes…" he trailed off, glancing away as if he were troubled.
"If you want to sleep on the floor or the sofa, though, be my guest," she remarked while motioning to the living room.
Shego did not really care what his problem was with suddenly sharing a bed. A little voice in the back of her mind pointed out that her little imp certainly had not minded sleeping next to her; not that her monster ever did mind. Her pet welcomed the excuse, she knew that and maybe, just maybe, she did not mind giving the olive-eyed girl the excuse. Sometimes, it was nice to hold onto the girl while sleeping, she thought for a moment and then she shook that thought away.
The green-skinned woman went to put her bag away in the bedroom while Drakken seemed to be stuck on stupid. She then checked the time and decided that she might as well start dinner. At least she would not have to make pasta, but the trip was still trying so far and it had only just got started.
The raven-haired female tried not to think about the drive up to the mountains because that was just about the most irksome thing that she had ever seen subjected to. Drakken knew how to work her nerves, especially unintentionally. The man's ego was so massive that he just assumed everyone, including her, wanted to hear every little brain fart that his mind had.
It did not help matters that they were in a tiny space and she was the one driving, so she could not even go to sleep. He had droned on and on about some hack in the lab, a little guy named Dementor or something like that, who had been getting in his way. He had yakked about that one guy for over five hours, so for the whole drive, all she could do was recall that the ride up to the house with her runt had not even been a fraction as painful and annoying as the one with Drakken. The worst part about it was that when she told Drakken to just shut up, he looked at her like she was crazy one and then went right back to his rambling.
"So, Shego, what are we going to do here?" the blue doctor asked.
"We could do some boarding," she replied. She bet that he was the only man on the planet that would think to ask his girlfriend what they were going to do in a secluded place in the mountains. He was a sad, sad little man, she thought.
"Boarding?" he echoed.
"Snowboarding. You don't know how, do you?" she inquired as if she was taunting him. She smirked just to be mean and get him rattled.
"Of course I know how!" he huffed. How hard could it be for someone of his genius anyway?
"Okay, so tomorrow we'll go do some boarding," she informed him with an evil smile. He did not take it as a warning as he should have.
"And what about tonight?" he asked curiously.
"I don't know. What do you want to do?" she countered. She had not thought of anything to do.
When Shego had gone up to the mountains with Kim, the redhead took care of all of the activity thinking. All she had to do was shut down ideas or put them in a doable order. If it were up to her pet, she thought that they would have been doing everything possible all at once. She knew that if her pet were in Drakken's place and also not her pet, she would have had plenty of other ideas on what to do the night they arrived. Hey, had Kim been in Drakken's place, they probably would not have done any snowboarding.
"I don't know. You dragged me here with nothing to do," Drakken whined, balling his hands into tiny fists.
"There's plenty to do," the pale woman argued. She had done plenty last week, so she knew for a fact that there was plenty to do. She just was not going to suggest any of them.
The sky-skinned male merely huffed again. She did not continue the dispute because she just did not feel like bothering with him anymore and focused on making dinner while he quietly seethed. They had been in the house for all of twenty minutes and Shego could ready tell the results of the experiment, but she decided to give Drakken the benefit of the doubt. He had that day and all of the next to prove her wrong.
-8-8-8-8-
Kim lounged on the sofa at home with a box of pizza next to her and a bottle of soda. She was searching for something to watch on television because she did not have anything better to do. Well, no, that was inaccurate. She just did not feel like doing anything else. She did not want to move at all.
She was thankful that Wade had not called her with any sort of mission. She just did not feel like going out to do anything, even save the world. In fact, the world might have to fend for itself if Wade did call her up. The only thing that she wanted to do was sit on the sofa and eat pizza.
Ron and Yori had invited the redhead out for some more Mexican/Japanese food. Kim could not even understand why the couple would do that to themselves again. Some foods just were not meant to go together. Yori actually agreed with her, but the restaurant was Ron's second favorite in town. Of course, there was no restaurant in the world that would replace Bueno Nacho in the blond's heart. Obviously, the ninja cared a great deal for her boyfriend to be able to sit through watching him have burritos and tempura. Kim knew that she would never be able to do that again.
Monique had also invited Kim to go out clubbing with her and Felix, but she declined on that offer also. It was just too much movement as far as she was concerned at the moment. She was not in the mood to party either.
The petite hero knew that her friends did not want her to get lonely while she was on her own, but it was only for a couple of days. She could handle that. It was not like she needed to be around her owner all of the time. Besides, it was probably a good thing for to be alone for a while to remember that she was not really a pet, or at least that she was a human being.
She needed some downtime to reflect on some things anyway, she told herself. What was she doing, she asked herself several times. She asked herself what she was doing now. What was going on?
"Just what the hell am I doing?"
Kim had no idea what she was doing at the moment and she was not even sure what she meant by that. I am way confused, she realized. She was puzzled by the new thoughts that were creeping into her head like ants invading a merry picnic. The new nature that was threatening to overcome her as it came into being was so very bemusing to her.
"I feel like I'm out at sea with no sign of land, but I know which directions to swim in to keep from panicking," she mumbled. Unfortunately, she did not feel like she would make, no matter what direction she took.
Her feelings were due to her thinking about her relationship with Shego and Drakken's relationship with Shego. She was still thinking about the questions that had been on her mind on the trip last weekend and the strange fact her mistress had gone on a trip with the blue dolt. She allowed those things to plague her. It seemed that she wanted those things to bother her because she was not trying to do anything to avoid pondering the issues. She figured that maybe if she thought on the issues long enough, she might come up with a solution of some kind or an answer.
The eccentric hero's contentment was slipping away from her, she was fairly certain of that. It was the only to explain why she kept thinking on the matters of her relationship with her mistress and that ocean-colored idiot's relationship with the woman. Once upon a time, the relationship would not have been a blip in her mind, but now, it was practically haunting her.
She had been so content to be a pet. It was something that she was willing to be no matter how lowly it might sound because she brought Shego happiness, but her ease with her position seemed to be slipping away. Taking that trip with her mistress and then being left behind was bothering her. For some reason, she just did not feel like her master's favorite like a pet should be. Then the worst notion of all hit her.
"He's winning," she gasped. "He's winning!"
She realized that no matter how great she was, he was still winning! He was always winning and she was not sure how to change that fact. All she knew was that in the war, the fight for her master's heart, she was losing and she feared that she might lose point blank. As long as he was still in her mistress' life, he would always be winning and she would always be losing because he would always come first. Maybe she was the favorite, but he was still first.
"Why?" she groaned while trying to maintain her composure. She wanted reasons to explain how it was feasible for him to be beating her.
Kim was certain that she was everything that her mistress required to be happy, yet her mistress did not seem to agree. It was not fair that she did all of that work relaxing Shego and Drakken was profiting from all of her effort. Whenever she did something, he was the one rewarded because her master was still with him.
"It was not fair," the redhead lamented with a whimper. She should not be losing, but she was. And now that she realized all of that, all she could do was wonder how in the world she was going to win. All she could do was hope that her owner came to her senses one day. She could wait. She could, she assured herself.
"I will," she promised herself.
-8-8-8-8-
Shego and Drakken were sitting in the living room of the small retreat and silently having dinner. They were watching some television program that Drakken selected. The pale woman was not really paying much attention. She was noting how Drakken was playing with his food. He did that often when she cooked for him. She tried not to think about what it implied, namely that he did not enjoy her cooking.
The super-powered female was certain of one thing in her life – besides the facts that she was damn sexy and very deadly – and that fact was that she could cook. She might not be as good a cook as she was a fighter, but she was above average. She knew that because her brothers gobbled down her cooking like it was great and they were used to top of the lines meals thanks to their mother. Her pet tended to act like her cooking was the best thing that she ever tasted. Kim had pointed out a few times that she had eaten plenty of different dishes made by plenty of different people, but her mistress was on her top ten list of great chefs. And as much crap as Betty popped, she never said anything about Shego's cooking. Betty said something about everything else, but never her cooking and they both knew that the one-eyed woman was the better chef. So, Shego could cook.
"Do you want to start a fire?" Shego suggested because she knew that if she left things to the inventor, they would spend the weekend with him ranting.
"Why would I want to start a fire? It would burn the place down," Drakken pointed out.
"In the fireplace, you mook," she stated through gritted teeth. Could he possibly be anymore of an idiot? She doubted it. She wished that she had not suggested anything now. At least before he was being quiet and that might never happen again.
"Oh. Why would we want to do that?" he asked in a puzzled tone.
"What do you mean why would we want to do that?" she countered. Did he really not know anything at all? It was romantic to sit by a fire.
"It's warm enough in here. We don't need a fire. It would get too hot, wouldn't it?" he reasoned.
"I doubt it," she remarked and turned her attention back to her food. She tried not to think about what her pet was eating for her dinner. Maybe I should call her and make sure she didn't have cake and ice cream or something.
-8-8-8-8-
Shego and Drakken prepared for bed. She was stunned that she had made it through the day without striking him from the way that he was getting on her nerves. The teal scientist took the side near the window. He always took the side by the window. She could not help thinking that he did such a thing to annoy her because it was working. She might still end up hitting him, she considered, unless he went to sleep very quickly.
She eased into the side by the door and she remembered how her little monster had put that pillow up as a border last weekend when she had been sleeping in the very same place. She almost laughed out loud when that thought came to mind. Her elf was so adorable. She could not help the smile that ended up on her face, but her bed buddy failed to notice, so no one said anything.
She settled her head on the pillow and found that sleep was not coming as easy as she hoped it would. A small voice in her mind started acting up and pointed out that she would probably be more comfortable if her brat was lying next to her, curled up against her like the content pet that she was. As the voice continued on, it pointed out that last weekend was almost a lost moment because the vast size of the bed. Her pest had not cuddled up against her that first day, but she had gotten a chance that second time. The voice taunted her by informing her that she knew she liked it.
The voice was not done with just that information. It seemed to be on a roll for the first time in a long time. It pointed out that Shego was thankful that the bed was so large now because she did not want to touch Drakken. She also did not want him to touch her, which he seemed to be of like mind most of the time. She did not want to cuddle with him and she did not desire to snuggle up to him. But, you did with your pet, the voice commented.
Shego scowled and silently ordered that troublesome voice in her mind to shut the hell up. I wouldn't want to cuddle my brat the same way as I would my boyfriend. Her shrimp just needed the attention and some affection from time to time because she was a pet, so she sometimes had to allow the redhead to snuggle up to her or she had to cuddle the girl like any good owner would. It was just like when she caressed her impish monster. She did those things because Kim was a pet, her pet. It's like when someone petted her dog or cat, she quietly argued. It was as simple as that, she told herself. The little voice inside of her head yielded for the moment, but it did not concede silently.
She may be a pet, but she isn't a dog or cat. No matter how hard you try to make her seem that way, she just isn't a dog or cat. Even the pet thing is pushing it, the voice pointed out.
Shego ignored the comment as best she could. The girl was just a pet. She was just a pet. It did not matter if she was not a dog or a cat, but she was still a pet. Nothing more.
-8-8-8-8-
Kim went to sleep in her mistress' bed. She told herself that it was not because she was lonely or because of some nostalgic feeling. She just wanted a real bed and it was not like Shego was using hers. But, for someone who was not lonely or really nostalgic, she clung to one of her owner's pillows rather tightly through out the night.
When the redhead rose in the morning, the phone rang almost a minute after she got up from bed. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was her master calling. She picked up the phone.
"Hey, Shego," Kim smiled as she answered the phone.
"Don't eat pizza for breakfast," Shego ordered. It was like she had read Kim's mind because that was just what she was going to have for her morning meal.
"But—" the olive-eyed girl tried to protest.
"And don't order more junk food for dinner."
"But—"
"There's money in the top drawer in my nightstand. Use it to buy a halfway decent meal. Go to a restaurant with your loopy friends or something. Just don't eat more junk food for dinner and have something decent for breakfast."
"Fine," Kim sighed. Her mistress took all of the fun out of being a careless, carefree kid. Shego worried about her too much sometimes, the redhead believed.
"I'm serious."
"I know. I'll make something for dinner. Probably spaghetti."
"Of course. Just don't burn down the house or anything. See you tomorrow."
"Have fun," Kim said and Shego could practically feel her pet smiling, which the petite adventurer was doing. The expression was not as bright as usual, though. They disconnected the call.
-8-8-8-8-
Shego put her phone back into her pocket and went back to fixing breakfast. That girl is so fucking predictable, she thought. She knew that her pet would have pizza for dinner, which was why she had not called, and then try to have the leftover slices for breakfast. The first time that she caught her little monster doing that nonsense, she had scolded the girl so badly that she had the redhead hiding underneath her box all morning.
The pale woman and Drakken ate breakfast and then went to hit the slopes. Oh, there was a sad sight indeed, Drakken trying to snowboard. Shego was almost certain that she had never laughed so hard in her life. He could use a snowboard just as well as she could fly under her own power. He was like a fish out of water on the damned thing. Actually with the way that he was floundering around, he might as well have been a fish on the snowboard. She figured maybe he was a bit more "classic" and got him a pair of skis. Things did not improve after that.
The day in the snow made up for all of the times that Drakken got on the woman's nerves during the trip. While she was embarrassed to be out there with him, it was still so entertaining to watch him fall every three seconds. He, of course, got angry with her every time that she giggled at one of his accidents. She would have looked at it as being like a car accident with the way he kept hitting things, but car accidents were not funny. He was more like an exaggerated flopper; he was like a campy version of a novice. It was just too funny.
Drakken had fallen an infinite amount of time while they were outside and was soaked to the bone by the time they got back to the cabin. He was also grumbling some not-very-curse words under his breath. She continued to snicker.
"Look, if you promise not to utter the words cocoa-moo, I'll make you some hot chocolate while you go peel yourself out of your snow gear," she offered.
"Really?" he asked with hope in his voice and eyes. He was pitiful and it was not cute.
"Yeah, go take your shower," she shooed him away.
He went to take a shower and she was thankful for the silence. Even though Drakken had been a barrel of laughs outside, she knew that the moment he settled inside, he was not going to be much fun. He came out of the bathroom to his hot chocolate and they went to lounge in the living room.
"Shego…" Drakken said.
"Hmm?" she replied. She hoped that he did not start up his rambling. She was finally out of the funk that he had put her in and she did not want to get back in it. While he might have found it hard to believe, she actually disliked being irritated. It took too much energy, but things just wore on her.
"What do we do now?" he inquired curiously. There was still sometime left in the day, so he figured that they needed to pass the time in some manner.
"We could go get into the hot tub," she suggested.
"I don't have swim trunks," he stated.
The green-skinned female sighed and resisted the urge to shake her head. She should have expected as much from the inept inventor. She would have suggested that they just go in sans bathing suits, but she was aware that he would not go for that one. Her little imp probably would have jumped at the notion, though.
"Shego, do you like living in Go City?" Drakken inquired, seemingly out of the blue.
"It's all right," she answered. She had seen better and worse places. It was good enough for her, though.
"Would you like to move?"
"Why do you ask?" she countered because it seemed that they were having a very peculiar conversation.
"Well, I was offered a job on a government project and it's a great job."
"You took it already?" she guessed.
"Yeah," he answered as if that was obvious.
Shego frowned and there went her relatively good mood. She could not believe the man! First, he assumed that she wanted to marry him and now he was assuming that he just move her out of Go City, out of her home and she would not mind. What the hell is wrong with him?
She worked hard for everything that she had and she had plenty. She had things that he just wanted to her to up and leave all of it at the drop of a hat to go with him more than likely to some state with no more than fifteen people living in it, so he could work on some big government contract. She could not believe the gall of the man. He has some huge fucking balls! I'll give him that.
"You can give your cousin the apartment since she lives there already," the sky-colored scientist suggested.
"I could…" Shego was not agreeing. She was just echoing him because she was in total shock. She was completely freaking flabbergasted by the gall of the man. How the hell could one person be so arrogant?
"And we do have to tell our families about the engagement," he commented casually.
"We do?" To hell they did, her mind stated.
"Of course we do. It's about time I meet your family, wouldn't you say?"
Shego did not reply. She did not even want to meet with her family. She definitely did not want him to meet her family. She did not even desire that he think about her family. She did not want to utter the word "engaged" at all, especially around her family and she damn sure did not want to give up everything that she had to be with him who-knew-where, but more than likely some small town that she had never heard of and she would like to keep things that way. She did not want to leave her pet, yet she did not say those things out loud.
-8-8-8-8-
Next time: a brief interlude for the master and pet before some seriously fucked up things happen. The next chapter will give a clue as what is waiting around the corner.