Rita had a small house on the edge of town. She moved there just after
Tommy Ryan left the last time. She had never lived there with him. His
smell did not linger on the sheets for he had never slept in them. She only
had a few things to remind her of him. Now he was back again. Why did he
torture her like this? Did he just expect her to have fling every few
years until she was no longer young and beautiful, or if that didn't
matter, till she was dead? But what would marriage or a lifetime be
anyway? She would die. He would not. He would move on and forget, though
he'd told her a thousand times he wouldn't. The last time they had three
years. Three years of waking up together, working, making love, and making
breakfast, and making jokes, and not caring that everyday Rita was closer
to death and Tom would never change. Violence threatened both their lives.
Though it never came to them, they knew it loomed. They loved each other,
what more could matter?
Tommy kept coming and leaving and Rita kept taking him back. Rita had accepted one day she would grow old and die. She'd known it all her life, and had come to terms with it much earlier due to her special circumstances. Tommy was terrified of losing her, even after years. He lost his family, all but his sister died of old age. And he mourned them everyday. His old friend, Connor MacLeod, loved Heather all her life, though she grew old and frail, she died sleeping in his arms, very peacefully. He knew not a day went by where he didn't think of her.
But then Tommy met Jack Dawson. Tommy was over five hundred years old. Jack was barely twenty. Dawson, just a damn kid. But now an immortal damn kid. This kid broke every boundary he knew just to be with this Rose girl. He never thought he'd have every chance in the world, that he could live forever. He risked his life for her, believing he only had one. After centuries it took a couple children to make him see. Loving Rita was worth losing her. He had to make her know she would never be alone and that she would never be forgotton. If he could live for his family, he could live for her.
A knock came on Rita's door. Though a mortal and she could not sense his presence like one of them, but she could feel it when Tommy Ryan came was near.
She's slowly opened the door, revealing the Irishman's face with his blond curls and light eyes. There was another, seemingly smaller obstacle considering the obvious, that may have hindered them. Rita and Tommy had already been labeled and stigmatized. Their relationship was miscegenation, as many sneered. Miss Alvarez. Mr. Ryan. Laughable. Disgusting.
He pulled off his hat and ran his hand through his wild curls, he smiled a little and breathed.
"I don't hate you, you know" she said, breaking the ice. Her arms were still folded. Her hair was tied back but coming loose. Tommy had been back for weeks now, but not with her. He rented a room with his new student and trained him almost everyday. She had been anxious that she hadn't seen him. She busy with work, Tommy busy with Jack.
"I know," he said hoarsely, he cleared his throat after. She let her arms loose and turned her back, walking a few feet farther through the room.
"I got a gray hair the other day..." She looked at him. "I'm not afraid to grow old, Tommy Ryan, I'm not even afraid to die. But I'm afraid not to trust the man I love. I can never trust you not to leave again. Do you understand?"
"I used to. I didn't come back to hurt you again. I came back because..."
"Because what? Because you got bored and you wanted to get sentimental? I know, you don't want to lose, am I supposed to be flattered? You've left me three times and always with nothing!"
That hurt. He wasn't sure if he didn't deserve it. It was just time to be honest, no matter how hard.
"That boy," Tommy started, if he could get that much out she would force him to continue.
***
He started with Titanic. It was the big news of the year, she was surprised to say the least. Though their encounters were brief, he never made mention of having been on Titanic. He told her about Jack, and about Jack and Rose, at least all he knew from Jack, anything the kid told him over the past two months. He wasn't sure if he had the right to tell her what Jack told him in confidence, or at least an assumed confidence. But he knew for himself he would stay, but he had to convince Rita that. She had to know how much Jack had affected him. He felt a few details he may have betrayed were wrong, but he wanted to tell Rita everything. It felt right to tell her what was most private.
Rita was moved by the boy's story, or what Tommy could tell her of it. And she was moved by the relationship between the old man and his young student. But now she was afraid.
"One of us is going to die before the other, that's what's true of every love," Tommy said, as he moved closer on the couch. She had been sitting on one end through the conversation, while he occupied the other.
"Can I make a guess as to who?"
"It could be me."
"Not likely."
"But possible," he reminded. "I've lived long enough to know. Anything can happen. I just need to be reminded every once and a while. Kids make great reminders," he laughed.
"So now, because all of this, you just think it will be different?" She was less emotional, but more skeptical now. Tommy tried to read her, the one person he knew he best in the world, and it looked as if she stole Jack's poker face.
"We aren't any different than any other couple, not where it matters. For most of my life it was easy to separate it. But I saw this God damn kid and this girl, and all I could think of was you. Five hundred and forty- two years and it came down to you. There's too much about us to let it go. There's been no one..." he stopped, struggling for the words, "like when we're together, it's like there's no one but us. And it's not that I won't find another woman like you again, it's that I won't find YOU again. It's the one chance, lass."
"Can I compare to that? I only have twenty-eight years. You didn't even know what you were at twenty-eight." She got up and moved, stretching after a series of long stories, her head was spinning.
"See? You know that much about me. And you do know everything that you are. You're more whole than anyone I know. Tougher, smarter--" Tommy got up.
"Ay! Shut up!" she laughed, moving closer, letting their natural intimacy take over.
"Give me one more chance, if I even move a little out of line, you can shoot me."
"Well, that won't do much good," she laughed, though still not giving him an answer, then she reflected, Tommy thought this was the moment, "would you be lonely when I'm gone?" she asked, expecting to halt him, if she was the one only, what would lifetimes without her mean?
"Ay, lass, not as lonely as I am now," he said very delibrately, "nothing's lonelier than thinking you don't care."
"I do and you know that."
"Would you come with me if I left tomorrow?" he asked suddenly. Rita recalled a similar conversation years earlier, before leaving Durango. She followed him then, but she wondered if she should follow him now. He called her a whole person, she hadn't felt that way since he left the last time.
"What?"
"If I left tomorrow would you come with me?"
"To go where?"
"I'm taking Jack to Washington State, to an island off the coast. A friend of mine built a cabin there. I can train him there and he'll be safe, then I can let him go." He had told her about Clement.
"And then what?"
"If I took you to Washington would you marry me there?"
Pride welled up within her. It wasn't fair she could hurt him this once. She wasn't like other women. She wasn't weak. ...But she was also in love, she had been in love for years. She could live without him if she chose to, but now she wondered why she'd want to. If they could both be happy, if they would both try... Curse her for loving too much.
"Just say it first," she said with mounting emotion, she thought she might cry.
"Say what?" he asked.
"You know what. I want to hear you say it."
"I love you," he said for the first time in two years.
"Good," she said, "because I love you too."
Rita slowly wrapped her hands around his arms as he looked at her. Tears brimming, her old man was near crying. He caressed the curve of her hip with his index finger bent. She snaked her hands up to his shoulders and pulled their faces together. Each suck in a quick, powerful breath, they came together. The first taste she got of his sweet lower lip, it was like the first time she was kissing him, though she had spent years making love to him almost every night.
Tommy undid her hair as their kiss deepened. Her hair was smooth and cold as he ran his hand through it. He gripped it harder, with one had through her locks and the other clutching her back as an urge swept through his body he pulled her harder and closer. He kissed down her neck and she tipped her head back as she moaned. Everything was so new and familiar all at once. It was home.
***
The next day Rita woke up in her bed, the sheets once more smelling like her man. He was right there next to her. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she pondered untangling her body from his and finding food, but she wasn't sure she could stand the separation.
"Mornin'," the old boy murmured, barely awake.
"Te amo, corazón," she whispered in his ear.
"Te amo, lass," he whispered back. "I make some breakfast if you fancy."
"What are you going to do about the girl? Jack's your friend, you can help him."
"I thought tonight was all about us?"
"It was. Now it's ten o'clock in the morning and I'm asking about your young friend. If we can have this. He should too. If what you tell me is right. There's no way she died with the ship." She rubbed his chest, feeling the roughness of his curly hair, and the solidness of the body under it.
"I've been thinking about that..." Tommy said, lifting himself to sit up.
"And?" Rita prodded.
"And I've got one source that's already tracking her, but I don't want to ask."
"That Lovejoy man?" Rita asked about the other immortal on Titanic.
"No."
"Friend or foe?"
"Er, both."
***
Titanic, April 14, 1912 2:00 AM, Poop deck
Tommy's head hurt. He'd just walked an inebriated Fabrizio De Rossi back to his room while Jack Dawson ran around with the first class girl. Out of his mind, that boy, Tommy thought. He admired him for it.
But right now he was starting to sober up and his head was beginning to feel it. Then he felt the presence of another immortal. Damn Lovejoy. Probably looking for Rose DeWitt Bukater as he had earlier. He couldn't take his head here, too risky on the ship with all these people.
"Dammit, you soddin' limey, I told you to leave those bloody kids alone--"
"Have you no class, Ryan?" asked a voice that was most certainly not Spicer Lovejoy.
"Bloody hell, what are you doing here?" There she was. Raven-haired, dark, sensual eyes. Dressed to the nines, with black beads sparkling from her breast to her toes. Even Young Bukater couldn't match this style.
"Is that how you greet an old friend?" said the other immortal.
"Alright, vixen," Tommy consented, "how's life since last I saw you?"
"When did we last see each other?"
"You were sleeping with Mozart."
"Oh, that's right...well, I haven't changed if that's what you mean."
"I can see that, Amanda. Tell what's your reason for boardin' the grandest ship in all the world." He stretched out his arms.
"I like to travel in style--unlike some of us," she looked down her nose.
"Ooh, that hurt. Try again, I don't believe you." "Rebecca's in New York," Amanda tried, bringing up their mutual mentor and friend.
"I don't believe you, Mandy my girl."
"I'm not going to tell you. Who do you think you are? MacLeod?"
"Come on, you can tell an old friend. Besides, he's not here to be rational for the rest of us."
"Okay," she said walking around him, "there's this diamond..."
"Ha! Knew it!"
"It's priceless! It belonged to Louis XVI, The Heart of the Ocean--as it's called now," she rambled, getting more and more excited, "it's from ancient Egypt originally I believe. It's supposed to be cursed..."
"Sounds hokey, but why would you want a cursed diamond?" By God, this was typical Amanda.
"I don't believe in curses. But I KNOW it's worth more than you can imagine. And have you seen, it's exquisite! The Hockleys have it. I've tracked it all the way."
"You been following them?"
"Only for a month."
"Bloody Christ, you're crazy," Tommy folded his arms, "And you do believe in things magical, girl."
"Do not."
Tommy pulled a stone out of his pocket, the one Rebecca gave him. Amanda had one too.
"Do you or do you not believe in the Methuselah Stone?"
"Ask Rebecca."
"Alright, Amanda," Tommy got up from the bench, "I'll make a date with you tomorrow night, same time, same place and we can have all sorts of fun discussing your next misadventure, you stubborn arse."
"Okay, Ryan, it's a deal," she stuck out her hand for her old friend to shake. He took it, then left.
"Stay out of trouble!" he called behind him, as he walked off.
Amanda huffed, but with a smile. Tommy wasn't talking her out of this.
But tomorrow night never came...at least for most of their fellow passengers. Tommy and Amanda had survived, obviously, but lost each other in the process. Besides, the death of 1500 people would make even Amanda forget. But if she was still after the mystical Blue Diamond Hockley supposedly had, she had to have some idea as to where Rose was. But how in the hell was he supposed to find Amanda now? He had tried to find her as soon as he was running down a flooded corridor with Fabrizio, chasing rats. On ship with 2,000 people she was easy to lose. Now they were both out in the world again. Track down Amanda, Tommy thought, then tell Jack everything he knew about it. Everything was too much right now.
Tommy kept coming and leaving and Rita kept taking him back. Rita had accepted one day she would grow old and die. She'd known it all her life, and had come to terms with it much earlier due to her special circumstances. Tommy was terrified of losing her, even after years. He lost his family, all but his sister died of old age. And he mourned them everyday. His old friend, Connor MacLeod, loved Heather all her life, though she grew old and frail, she died sleeping in his arms, very peacefully. He knew not a day went by where he didn't think of her.
But then Tommy met Jack Dawson. Tommy was over five hundred years old. Jack was barely twenty. Dawson, just a damn kid. But now an immortal damn kid. This kid broke every boundary he knew just to be with this Rose girl. He never thought he'd have every chance in the world, that he could live forever. He risked his life for her, believing he only had one. After centuries it took a couple children to make him see. Loving Rita was worth losing her. He had to make her know she would never be alone and that she would never be forgotton. If he could live for his family, he could live for her.
A knock came on Rita's door. Though a mortal and she could not sense his presence like one of them, but she could feel it when Tommy Ryan came was near.
She's slowly opened the door, revealing the Irishman's face with his blond curls and light eyes. There was another, seemingly smaller obstacle considering the obvious, that may have hindered them. Rita and Tommy had already been labeled and stigmatized. Their relationship was miscegenation, as many sneered. Miss Alvarez. Mr. Ryan. Laughable. Disgusting.
He pulled off his hat and ran his hand through his wild curls, he smiled a little and breathed.
"I don't hate you, you know" she said, breaking the ice. Her arms were still folded. Her hair was tied back but coming loose. Tommy had been back for weeks now, but not with her. He rented a room with his new student and trained him almost everyday. She had been anxious that she hadn't seen him. She busy with work, Tommy busy with Jack.
"I know," he said hoarsely, he cleared his throat after. She let her arms loose and turned her back, walking a few feet farther through the room.
"I got a gray hair the other day..." She looked at him. "I'm not afraid to grow old, Tommy Ryan, I'm not even afraid to die. But I'm afraid not to trust the man I love. I can never trust you not to leave again. Do you understand?"
"I used to. I didn't come back to hurt you again. I came back because..."
"Because what? Because you got bored and you wanted to get sentimental? I know, you don't want to lose, am I supposed to be flattered? You've left me three times and always with nothing!"
That hurt. He wasn't sure if he didn't deserve it. It was just time to be honest, no matter how hard.
"That boy," Tommy started, if he could get that much out she would force him to continue.
***
He started with Titanic. It was the big news of the year, she was surprised to say the least. Though their encounters were brief, he never made mention of having been on Titanic. He told her about Jack, and about Jack and Rose, at least all he knew from Jack, anything the kid told him over the past two months. He wasn't sure if he had the right to tell her what Jack told him in confidence, or at least an assumed confidence. But he knew for himself he would stay, but he had to convince Rita that. She had to know how much Jack had affected him. He felt a few details he may have betrayed were wrong, but he wanted to tell Rita everything. It felt right to tell her what was most private.
Rita was moved by the boy's story, or what Tommy could tell her of it. And she was moved by the relationship between the old man and his young student. But now she was afraid.
"One of us is going to die before the other, that's what's true of every love," Tommy said, as he moved closer on the couch. She had been sitting on one end through the conversation, while he occupied the other.
"Can I make a guess as to who?"
"It could be me."
"Not likely."
"But possible," he reminded. "I've lived long enough to know. Anything can happen. I just need to be reminded every once and a while. Kids make great reminders," he laughed.
"So now, because all of this, you just think it will be different?" She was less emotional, but more skeptical now. Tommy tried to read her, the one person he knew he best in the world, and it looked as if she stole Jack's poker face.
"We aren't any different than any other couple, not where it matters. For most of my life it was easy to separate it. But I saw this God damn kid and this girl, and all I could think of was you. Five hundred and forty- two years and it came down to you. There's too much about us to let it go. There's been no one..." he stopped, struggling for the words, "like when we're together, it's like there's no one but us. And it's not that I won't find another woman like you again, it's that I won't find YOU again. It's the one chance, lass."
"Can I compare to that? I only have twenty-eight years. You didn't even know what you were at twenty-eight." She got up and moved, stretching after a series of long stories, her head was spinning.
"See? You know that much about me. And you do know everything that you are. You're more whole than anyone I know. Tougher, smarter--" Tommy got up.
"Ay! Shut up!" she laughed, moving closer, letting their natural intimacy take over.
"Give me one more chance, if I even move a little out of line, you can shoot me."
"Well, that won't do much good," she laughed, though still not giving him an answer, then she reflected, Tommy thought this was the moment, "would you be lonely when I'm gone?" she asked, expecting to halt him, if she was the one only, what would lifetimes without her mean?
"Ay, lass, not as lonely as I am now," he said very delibrately, "nothing's lonelier than thinking you don't care."
"I do and you know that."
"Would you come with me if I left tomorrow?" he asked suddenly. Rita recalled a similar conversation years earlier, before leaving Durango. She followed him then, but she wondered if she should follow him now. He called her a whole person, she hadn't felt that way since he left the last time.
"What?"
"If I left tomorrow would you come with me?"
"To go where?"
"I'm taking Jack to Washington State, to an island off the coast. A friend of mine built a cabin there. I can train him there and he'll be safe, then I can let him go." He had told her about Clement.
"And then what?"
"If I took you to Washington would you marry me there?"
Pride welled up within her. It wasn't fair she could hurt him this once. She wasn't like other women. She wasn't weak. ...But she was also in love, she had been in love for years. She could live without him if she chose to, but now she wondered why she'd want to. If they could both be happy, if they would both try... Curse her for loving too much.
"Just say it first," she said with mounting emotion, she thought she might cry.
"Say what?" he asked.
"You know what. I want to hear you say it."
"I love you," he said for the first time in two years.
"Good," she said, "because I love you too."
Rita slowly wrapped her hands around his arms as he looked at her. Tears brimming, her old man was near crying. He caressed the curve of her hip with his index finger bent. She snaked her hands up to his shoulders and pulled their faces together. Each suck in a quick, powerful breath, they came together. The first taste she got of his sweet lower lip, it was like the first time she was kissing him, though she had spent years making love to him almost every night.
Tommy undid her hair as their kiss deepened. Her hair was smooth and cold as he ran his hand through it. He gripped it harder, with one had through her locks and the other clutching her back as an urge swept through his body he pulled her harder and closer. He kissed down her neck and she tipped her head back as she moaned. Everything was so new and familiar all at once. It was home.
***
The next day Rita woke up in her bed, the sheets once more smelling like her man. He was right there next to her. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she pondered untangling her body from his and finding food, but she wasn't sure she could stand the separation.
"Mornin'," the old boy murmured, barely awake.
"Te amo, corazón," she whispered in his ear.
"Te amo, lass," he whispered back. "I make some breakfast if you fancy."
"What are you going to do about the girl? Jack's your friend, you can help him."
"I thought tonight was all about us?"
"It was. Now it's ten o'clock in the morning and I'm asking about your young friend. If we can have this. He should too. If what you tell me is right. There's no way she died with the ship." She rubbed his chest, feeling the roughness of his curly hair, and the solidness of the body under it.
"I've been thinking about that..." Tommy said, lifting himself to sit up.
"And?" Rita prodded.
"And I've got one source that's already tracking her, but I don't want to ask."
"That Lovejoy man?" Rita asked about the other immortal on Titanic.
"No."
"Friend or foe?"
"Er, both."
***
Titanic, April 14, 1912 2:00 AM, Poop deck
Tommy's head hurt. He'd just walked an inebriated Fabrizio De Rossi back to his room while Jack Dawson ran around with the first class girl. Out of his mind, that boy, Tommy thought. He admired him for it.
But right now he was starting to sober up and his head was beginning to feel it. Then he felt the presence of another immortal. Damn Lovejoy. Probably looking for Rose DeWitt Bukater as he had earlier. He couldn't take his head here, too risky on the ship with all these people.
"Dammit, you soddin' limey, I told you to leave those bloody kids alone--"
"Have you no class, Ryan?" asked a voice that was most certainly not Spicer Lovejoy.
"Bloody hell, what are you doing here?" There she was. Raven-haired, dark, sensual eyes. Dressed to the nines, with black beads sparkling from her breast to her toes. Even Young Bukater couldn't match this style.
"Is that how you greet an old friend?" said the other immortal.
"Alright, vixen," Tommy consented, "how's life since last I saw you?"
"When did we last see each other?"
"You were sleeping with Mozart."
"Oh, that's right...well, I haven't changed if that's what you mean."
"I can see that, Amanda. Tell what's your reason for boardin' the grandest ship in all the world." He stretched out his arms.
"I like to travel in style--unlike some of us," she looked down her nose.
"Ooh, that hurt. Try again, I don't believe you." "Rebecca's in New York," Amanda tried, bringing up their mutual mentor and friend.
"I don't believe you, Mandy my girl."
"I'm not going to tell you. Who do you think you are? MacLeod?"
"Come on, you can tell an old friend. Besides, he's not here to be rational for the rest of us."
"Okay," she said walking around him, "there's this diamond..."
"Ha! Knew it!"
"It's priceless! It belonged to Louis XVI, The Heart of the Ocean--as it's called now," she rambled, getting more and more excited, "it's from ancient Egypt originally I believe. It's supposed to be cursed..."
"Sounds hokey, but why would you want a cursed diamond?" By God, this was typical Amanda.
"I don't believe in curses. But I KNOW it's worth more than you can imagine. And have you seen, it's exquisite! The Hockleys have it. I've tracked it all the way."
"You been following them?"
"Only for a month."
"Bloody Christ, you're crazy," Tommy folded his arms, "And you do believe in things magical, girl."
"Do not."
Tommy pulled a stone out of his pocket, the one Rebecca gave him. Amanda had one too.
"Do you or do you not believe in the Methuselah Stone?"
"Ask Rebecca."
"Alright, Amanda," Tommy got up from the bench, "I'll make a date with you tomorrow night, same time, same place and we can have all sorts of fun discussing your next misadventure, you stubborn arse."
"Okay, Ryan, it's a deal," she stuck out her hand for her old friend to shake. He took it, then left.
"Stay out of trouble!" he called behind him, as he walked off.
Amanda huffed, but with a smile. Tommy wasn't talking her out of this.
But tomorrow night never came...at least for most of their fellow passengers. Tommy and Amanda had survived, obviously, but lost each other in the process. Besides, the death of 1500 people would make even Amanda forget. But if she was still after the mystical Blue Diamond Hockley supposedly had, she had to have some idea as to where Rose was. But how in the hell was he supposed to find Amanda now? He had tried to find her as soon as he was running down a flooded corridor with Fabrizio, chasing rats. On ship with 2,000 people she was easy to lose. Now they were both out in the world again. Track down Amanda, Tommy thought, then tell Jack everything he knew about it. Everything was too much right now.