Sorry for delay, more soon.
My heart has been broken, I have failed. I never imagined that this could happen. I truly loved him, I did. Watching him from the sidelines, she always had his attention. He was my knight in shining armor. I never had him. I thought it would be funny to release her thoughts to the world. I wouldn't be affected since I hadn't attended this school last year. Stupid mistake on my part.
People are dead because of what I did.
I'm a monster.
Lucas is scarred forever by the murder of his uncle shot by his best friend who then committed suicide and killed himself.
Brooke is a babbling brook of sympathy. She looked human to me for the first time ever. I could see her humanity emerging out of the shallow bubble that I've placed her.
Peyton was shot by a stray bullet and her life hangs in the balance or so I've heard.
Lives have been changed forever because of what I did. I'm the only person who knows, if I told anyone, I would…could be charged as an accessory to murder…or something worse.
Nathan's face of anger and hatred was released to the world and he let Haley have the full brunt of it, but their love conquered the barriers and they are stronger for it. They survived, but others did not.
What I don't know only kills me. It almost did. Locked in that room with him for hours on end, my mind racing over and over the same thought that I released the time capsule and this tidal wave of hatred from Jimmy that stormed the school.
If I was invisible and knew everything. I would know that Brooke cried and fell apart in front of a flagpole, she dug deep inside of herself and pulled out her courage. I would know that in her final moments, Peyton confessed her love, friendly or otherwise to Lucas and kissed him. Lucas either felt a connection to her, emotional, less or more. I do know that love makes us stronger and hatred fuels a passion that threatens to consume us all.
This year at Tree Hill High, I've been popular, loved, worshipped, alone, hated and beaten. Popular with the best, worshipped by all the guys, loved by all, hated by Brooke and others, alone when in a crowd with people and beaten by the love that transcends life.
For my yearbook entry, I will put, "Darkness is my other name, loneliness is my companion, love is my enemy, worship is a falsehood, hate is a lover and popularity is overrated." No if I put that, I would be known as the freaky girl, so in my mind that will be my yearbook entry.
Reality check, I am Rachel, hot and popular cheerleader, loved by none and hated by all.
Hated by all that somehow know what I did. I will be judged for it and when I am, my place in the nine circles of hell will be reserved.
Blistering fires of ice will smother me and the gentle wave of darkness will seduce me to sleep eternally.