Tommy was not in the best condition to be teaching Jack to fight. He'd
spent all the night before making love to his one and only and he had too
much on his mind. The old man thought of giving Young Dawson the day off,
but was determined to toughen him up–not that the boy was soft considering
his hard life–but he wasn't ready to be an immortal out in the world, not
with Clement out there.
But Tommy didn't need to bring the hard edge with him that day, Jack had already brought it. Where Tommy was filled with love Jack was filled with hate. Tommy was the only living person he could love. Fabrizio and Rose were dead to him because he knew even if he'd found them he'd just watch them die anyway. He'd never see his parents or Dan on the other side unless he met a violent end. If he was to live he'd have to be a killer and a killer all his life. But now he wanted to kill. He wanted to kill Clement more than ever. He'd always felt a need for revenge, but his love of life always took over. Now he was boiling.
Jack came at Tommy hard mindlessly swinging his blade in a way that was more than practice. He saw Dan's last moments, the burning house, the sinking ship. Faces were everywhere. Dad was just carrying some old books to the back of the store. Mama was just singing in the kitchen as she made breakfast. Dan was just playing with dog in his yard. Fabrizio was just the kid sitting outside the café in Naples. Rose was just the girl on the deck above him. It was the first time Tommy ever spoke to him, *Forget it, boyo, it is like of angels flying out of your arse to get next to the likes of her.*
Now they were all dead and Tommy was a five hundred and forty-two years old, immortal and a murderer. Jack would be a murderer too. And his family and friends–they were the murdered. *I go to L'America!* and When the ship docks, I'm getting off with you. * echoed in his head like demons.
Stupid girl! Didn't she know what he was? Of course she didn't. And she never would. She was dead. The papers said so. Dead, dead, dead. Seventeen year old girl dead.
Jack hated himself. If Cal had shot him he wouldn't have died–God, how he wanted to show him how powerful he was now...but Cal was small potatoes though he still felt the petty need to show him up. But he had to kill Clement. He WANTED nothing more but to kill him. Maybe then his family could rest.
He swung again and again and again, chopping away. Tommy was previously in a sweeter mood than normal but after a while being attacked was adequate to get him angry enough to defend himself.
He kicked Jack's foot out from under him, sending the boy tumbling. Tommy picked Jack up by the neck and squeezed.
"Never lose your temper," he told him. Jack attempted to speak but he was being choked, "Never lose your temper," Tommy repeated. He released him.
"Jesus, Tommy!" He rubbed his neck.
"You lose your temper and you lose your head. Then it's over! I don't know what or who you were thinkin' about today, but don't let it get to you. Not in battle!" He was angrier at that moment. It was not about Clement nor was it about pity for his painful life. It was that moment he realized he loved the boy. He couldn't be his father or his big brother, but he realized he wanted to be so much it ached.
"I wasn't going to hurt you."
"You were wantin' to hurt somebody. You keep focused and you keep calm!"
Jack just stared at him, emotionless. Tommy felt uncomfortable. He breathed and sat down next to his friend.
"Not to feed any more of your obsessions, but I can find your Rose, lad."
"What do you mean?" Jack looked at the ground.
"I've a friend–one of us. She's after that diamond the girl had."
"I think the diamond's at the bottom of the ocean."
"Yes, but she would still know where the owners are–or at least have an idea. She was on the ship. She was there too."
"You think your friend can literally track Rose down and locate her...if she's even alive."
"She's a one thousand year old jewel thief with her eye on something pretty. And she's well...Amanda. Yes." Tommy looked at Jack who appeared to be more serious than excited. "You don't sound enthusiastic."
"I don't wanna take myself on a wild goose chase just to be disappointed. What do I if I see my friends again? I'll just have to let them go sooner or later," he shrugged.
"Whatever you do you won't want to live your life without knowin' what you could have done or havin' just one last chance!" Jack smiled sadly with one corner of his mouth. "You'll have disappointments in life. But you must try. I once met a man who lived everyday of his life of his short life. I wonder what he would say..." Tommy stood up and picked up his sword. "Goin' to see Rita...don't get lost on the way home," he teased.
Jack laughed, cracking a little smile.
***
Jack stopped by Rita's place a few hours later. He had been wandering around by himself, thinking about what Tommy had said. He felt like a hypocrite. He told everyone else to live because he had a happy boyhood and seizing the moment was the only way to survive the death of his family and retain who he was.
He was now what he hated. A sword-wielding plague that killed for survival while everyone he loved died. If he found Rose, would she understand? Would Fabrizio? No one knew him better than Fabri. He even understood the strange story of Clement and the beheading and the fire. He didn't just believe him, he empathized. And Rose–he only knew her for a few days, but he couldn't help how he felt. He couldn't help how he still felt.
Tommy was right. He needed to find them.
Rita opened the door. Her little house was warm and quiet. Tommy was absent.
"Am I early for dinner?" Jack asked. He felt nervous around Rita. He didn't know her very well and he felt as if he was always sharing Tommy with her.
"No, Tommy's coming back soon. Come in, come in!" She ushered him to the couch and offered him some ice water. He took it dutifully.
"Have you two set a date yet?" Jack asked, trying to make conversation–and find out when it was time for Tommy to give him the boot.
"We're going to Washington in July. We will get settled there then set a date."
"I think that's great," Jack said, feigning excitement and wondering if he was invited.
"I think should come with us."
"No, I'm little more orthodox with things like that."
Rita was about to argue when she realized Jack had just made a dirty joke. He liked her enough to joke with her. She sighed in relief. She laughed and joined him on the couch, bouncing as she plopped herself on the old cushions.
"Not only are you adorable but you're so wicked! Listen to me," she grabbed his hands, "I know it's strange because we're almost strangers and then there's Tommy...but I love Tommy very much and I know you are like family to him."
"He's my only family."
"Yes. He loves you like a son. He loves you so much, it's wonderful...I want to be like family to you, Jack. Not just for Tommy, but for me and for you and me."
"I think I'd like that," Jack said. She bothered him at first with her intimacy. But it was true. He wanted to know her and be close to her. But before he just wasn't. Things were so unusual. "You come up with us and be our witness and stay in town. You have a light in you, you know. We're lucky to have you."
"I don't think I have it anymore," Jack sighed, betraying himself. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be that honest with Rita Alvarez.
"You do," Rita smiled, "you just have to find it again. My life hasn't been much longer than yours, this will be the challenge of your young life. You're that kind of person. You survive but you *live* too."
"You sound like I used to."
"I can be very pessimistic, Jack, that's me. But I know what's in the heart. I'm just a little reminder."
"I think it's because you're in love."
"Don't you know? People in love are the smartest and most foolish people on earth. It all depends on your perspective."
"I think I'll be okay," Jack said, "I think we'll all be okay."
"Of course we are. If you're never without friends."
"Or family."
Jack pulled her in for a hug and she patted his head with sisterly affection. Tommy came home a few minutes later and they had dinner just as family. He saw his two young loved ones were developing a bond. He felt like he could breathe. There was so much to be done and there was so little time–even for an immortal, but these were moments and people no man could take away. For now they had each other. For now this family was enough.
But Tommy didn't need to bring the hard edge with him that day, Jack had already brought it. Where Tommy was filled with love Jack was filled with hate. Tommy was the only living person he could love. Fabrizio and Rose were dead to him because he knew even if he'd found them he'd just watch them die anyway. He'd never see his parents or Dan on the other side unless he met a violent end. If he was to live he'd have to be a killer and a killer all his life. But now he wanted to kill. He wanted to kill Clement more than ever. He'd always felt a need for revenge, but his love of life always took over. Now he was boiling.
Jack came at Tommy hard mindlessly swinging his blade in a way that was more than practice. He saw Dan's last moments, the burning house, the sinking ship. Faces were everywhere. Dad was just carrying some old books to the back of the store. Mama was just singing in the kitchen as she made breakfast. Dan was just playing with dog in his yard. Fabrizio was just the kid sitting outside the café in Naples. Rose was just the girl on the deck above him. It was the first time Tommy ever spoke to him, *Forget it, boyo, it is like of angels flying out of your arse to get next to the likes of her.*
Now they were all dead and Tommy was a five hundred and forty-two years old, immortal and a murderer. Jack would be a murderer too. And his family and friends–they were the murdered. *I go to L'America!* and When the ship docks, I'm getting off with you. * echoed in his head like demons.
Stupid girl! Didn't she know what he was? Of course she didn't. And she never would. She was dead. The papers said so. Dead, dead, dead. Seventeen year old girl dead.
Jack hated himself. If Cal had shot him he wouldn't have died–God, how he wanted to show him how powerful he was now...but Cal was small potatoes though he still felt the petty need to show him up. But he had to kill Clement. He WANTED nothing more but to kill him. Maybe then his family could rest.
He swung again and again and again, chopping away. Tommy was previously in a sweeter mood than normal but after a while being attacked was adequate to get him angry enough to defend himself.
He kicked Jack's foot out from under him, sending the boy tumbling. Tommy picked Jack up by the neck and squeezed.
"Never lose your temper," he told him. Jack attempted to speak but he was being choked, "Never lose your temper," Tommy repeated. He released him.
"Jesus, Tommy!" He rubbed his neck.
"You lose your temper and you lose your head. Then it's over! I don't know what or who you were thinkin' about today, but don't let it get to you. Not in battle!" He was angrier at that moment. It was not about Clement nor was it about pity for his painful life. It was that moment he realized he loved the boy. He couldn't be his father or his big brother, but he realized he wanted to be so much it ached.
"I wasn't going to hurt you."
"You were wantin' to hurt somebody. You keep focused and you keep calm!"
Jack just stared at him, emotionless. Tommy felt uncomfortable. He breathed and sat down next to his friend.
"Not to feed any more of your obsessions, but I can find your Rose, lad."
"What do you mean?" Jack looked at the ground.
"I've a friend–one of us. She's after that diamond the girl had."
"I think the diamond's at the bottom of the ocean."
"Yes, but she would still know where the owners are–or at least have an idea. She was on the ship. She was there too."
"You think your friend can literally track Rose down and locate her...if she's even alive."
"She's a one thousand year old jewel thief with her eye on something pretty. And she's well...Amanda. Yes." Tommy looked at Jack who appeared to be more serious than excited. "You don't sound enthusiastic."
"I don't wanna take myself on a wild goose chase just to be disappointed. What do I if I see my friends again? I'll just have to let them go sooner or later," he shrugged.
"Whatever you do you won't want to live your life without knowin' what you could have done or havin' just one last chance!" Jack smiled sadly with one corner of his mouth. "You'll have disappointments in life. But you must try. I once met a man who lived everyday of his life of his short life. I wonder what he would say..." Tommy stood up and picked up his sword. "Goin' to see Rita...don't get lost on the way home," he teased.
Jack laughed, cracking a little smile.
***
Jack stopped by Rita's place a few hours later. He had been wandering around by himself, thinking about what Tommy had said. He felt like a hypocrite. He told everyone else to live because he had a happy boyhood and seizing the moment was the only way to survive the death of his family and retain who he was.
He was now what he hated. A sword-wielding plague that killed for survival while everyone he loved died. If he found Rose, would she understand? Would Fabrizio? No one knew him better than Fabri. He even understood the strange story of Clement and the beheading and the fire. He didn't just believe him, he empathized. And Rose–he only knew her for a few days, but he couldn't help how he felt. He couldn't help how he still felt.
Tommy was right. He needed to find them.
Rita opened the door. Her little house was warm and quiet. Tommy was absent.
"Am I early for dinner?" Jack asked. He felt nervous around Rita. He didn't know her very well and he felt as if he was always sharing Tommy with her.
"No, Tommy's coming back soon. Come in, come in!" She ushered him to the couch and offered him some ice water. He took it dutifully.
"Have you two set a date yet?" Jack asked, trying to make conversation–and find out when it was time for Tommy to give him the boot.
"We're going to Washington in July. We will get settled there then set a date."
"I think that's great," Jack said, feigning excitement and wondering if he was invited.
"I think should come with us."
"No, I'm little more orthodox with things like that."
Rita was about to argue when she realized Jack had just made a dirty joke. He liked her enough to joke with her. She sighed in relief. She laughed and joined him on the couch, bouncing as she plopped herself on the old cushions.
"Not only are you adorable but you're so wicked! Listen to me," she grabbed his hands, "I know it's strange because we're almost strangers and then there's Tommy...but I love Tommy very much and I know you are like family to him."
"He's my only family."
"Yes. He loves you like a son. He loves you so much, it's wonderful...I want to be like family to you, Jack. Not just for Tommy, but for me and for you and me."
"I think I'd like that," Jack said. She bothered him at first with her intimacy. But it was true. He wanted to know her and be close to her. But before he just wasn't. Things were so unusual. "You come up with us and be our witness and stay in town. You have a light in you, you know. We're lucky to have you."
"I don't think I have it anymore," Jack sighed, betraying himself. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be that honest with Rita Alvarez.
"You do," Rita smiled, "you just have to find it again. My life hasn't been much longer than yours, this will be the challenge of your young life. You're that kind of person. You survive but you *live* too."
"You sound like I used to."
"I can be very pessimistic, Jack, that's me. But I know what's in the heart. I'm just a little reminder."
"I think it's because you're in love."
"Don't you know? People in love are the smartest and most foolish people on earth. It all depends on your perspective."
"I think I'll be okay," Jack said, "I think we'll all be okay."
"Of course we are. If you're never without friends."
"Or family."
Jack pulled her in for a hug and she patted his head with sisterly affection. Tommy came home a few minutes later and they had dinner just as family. He saw his two young loved ones were developing a bond. He felt like he could breathe. There was so much to be done and there was so little time–even for an immortal, but these were moments and people no man could take away. For now they had each other. For now this family was enough.