Chapter 19 Rainbow Mare

Finding Morton didn't take long. He was hanging out in his room, watching (what else) Rainbow Mare. Junior observed his brother as he watched his favorite show of all time. His eyes shimmered with appreciation, glimmered with happiness that wasn't normally there. Every once in a while, he would let out a happy laugh. This was bizarre to Junior, as Morton didn't usually exhibit this level of emotion. However, it was a good kind of bizarre. It made the Koopa Prince feel better, knowing that Morton was feeling happy for once.

He cleared his throat to get the dark skinned Koopalings' attention. "Morton?"

Morton turned away from the TV, the smile he had been wearing still on his face. "Hey, Junior." He turned back to the TV, blissfulness emanating off of him.

Junior looked over at the screen. The scene playing out showed Rainbow Mare battling...Cerberus? Huh. That was interesting. He had always assumed that shows like Rainbow Mare were...well, he did not think that they could show content like that.

"Rainbow Mare, huh?"

"Mmhm," Morton said with a nod.

"Cool." He turned back toward his brother, an idea taking hold of him. "Maybe you telling me how you came across Rainbow Mare would be a good story to fit in the scrapbook."

Morton blinked. "The what?"

"The scrapbook. You see, I have been gathering stories about the family's past. I've been writing them down in this notebook." Junior showed Morton the notebook. "This is actually the second notebook I've had to use; I filled up the last one."

"Huh. Cool." Morton turned back to the TV, where Rainbow Mare was being snapped at by one of Cerberus' unruly heads.

"So, I was thinking…" Junior said, hoping to regain his brother's interest, "could you tell me one or two stories from when you were younger?"

Morton paused the show. While he looked at Junior, the glimmering happiness that had been present in his eyes was slowly lessening. However, it didn't go away completely, much to the prince's relief.

"Do you really want to hear about a little kid being caught in the depths of depression and despair?"

Junior almost snickered, about to point out that he had heard a story about Ludwig attempting suicide. However, he stopped himself just before spilling the beans and cleared his throat. "I think I can handle it." He took a seat at the foot of the bed. "Besides, you've gotten better now."

"Heh," Morton laughed. "'Better' is not the term I would use. Depression is….a nasty beast. It never goes away, it never allows itself to leave you. I will never be rid of it."

Junior blinked. A sad feeling overtook his heart. "That sounds...awful."

"Mmhm."

Junior put his hand to his chest. "But...you're managing it, right?"

Morton let out a breath and smiled, actually smiled. "Yeah. I am." He pointed toward the screen. "This show has really helped me cope."

Junior nodded and got his notebook and pen ready as Morton started telling the story.

…

I was lost when I was younger. At the time, nobody knew about what I was dealing with. And from my perspective, it seemed that nobody would care to know.

Ludwig was too busy with his symphonies. Lemmy with his Circus tricks, Roy had his workout routines, and Iggy…

Iggy was brilliant. He didn't have time with someone like me.

I suppose my problem came with comparing myself to my siblings. Bowser and Iggy have said in the past that I need to cut that out. I am my own person, with my own talents and my own special contributions that I can make for the world.

And they're right. They are definitely right. I even knew that they were right back then, when I was in the thick of my distress.

And that was part of the problem. I knew that what I was doing wasn't good. I wanted to change my behavior. I wanted to change my thought process. And that, Junior, is a very tall order. It takes a lot of time to change your thought process, to change your personality. Now, it isn't impossible; like I said, it just takes time.

But, for whatever reason, my younger self didn't understand that. I expected the change to be immediate. As soon as I became aware of the problem and tried to steer clear of my faults, I expected that I would be able to escape from them for good. But…

That didn't happen.

Every time I tried to change my thought process, the same thing would always happen. I would try to stop comparing myself to others, and for a little bit, I would be successful. But then, one of my siblings would do something that would cause me to become...covetous, I guess you could say. It didn't even have to be something extraordinary. Sometimes it was, but most times it was just "Ludwig got a good grade on his test" or "Roy managed to break his record of fifteen push ups."

I would find myself comparing myself and my achievements to these small accomplishments of my siblings. Every time, a hint of envy would appear in my soul. And every time, I would catch myself.

And once I caught myself was when my depression would flare up. It would become so, so awful. Now, after a while I would manage to break out of it, whether it would be by having an uplifting, inspiring conversation with one of my siblings or by just living my life and pushing my feelings to the side.

But it would always come back. It came back the next time Lemmy managed to tell a clever joke, or the next time Ludwig composed a beautiful new symphony. The cycle was vicious, endless. I...couldn't break out of it.

After all, what was so great about me? I had nothing to offer. I had no special talents of my own. I was just an overweight, pathetic koopa. At least, those were the thoughts running through my head.

But that's the thing. I wasn't sharing my problems with anybody. I didn't want to burden anyone with issues that I deemed not important enough to share with them. I know; ironic that I thought things that bothered me everyday weren't important enough to share with my family. But that was how I felt. And, again, I had nobody there to help me with these issues.

So, my life became a nightmare to get through. Even though on the outside I had everything I could possibly need (a place to sleep, food to eat, a place to bathe) and then some (toys to play with, siblings to chat with, a special connection with the king of the Kingdom), I didn't see it. I was too consumed with what was happening on the inside. I was…

Miserable. And I would remain that way for a long time.

Until I found Rainbow Mare.

Now, I didn't pay too much attention to Rainbow Mare in the beginning. She was just a show that I would stumble across while channel surfing every once in a while. I would dismiss her; I thought she was too girly for me.

But one day, the batteries died while I was channel surfing. I wanted to get up and change them, but I was too lazy. So, I just sat back and let the stupid pony cartoon play out.

Except...if wasn't stupid at all. It was actually kind of cool.

The next day, I watched it. And the day after that, and the day after that. It became my go-to show, the best thing since sliced bread in my eyes. I fell in love with it. It provided me with a great method to escape from reality, to escape from the misery that my brain was causing me.

Not only that, but it was also wholesome. Really wholesome. I didn't even realize it, but Rainbow Mare was teaching me great life lessons. I still remember some of the show's greatest quotes:

"It's love that keeps me going. The love of my friends, my family. They are the reason I get up and keep going."

"My heart grows with each smile that I give to others."

"It's through the friendships that I form that I know I will become a better pony."

That was all...so great. These lovely quotes got me out of some hard times.

…

"Soo...yeah," Morton said. "I know it is probably cheesy at this point, but Rainbow Mare was a big help to me. It was a pick-me up, and a really good one at that." He smiled. "I wish I had told the others about it sooner."

Junior nodded. He continued writing down the words to the story. When he was finished, he turned to Morton with a sparkling, beaming face. "That's cool."

Morton blinked. "You think so?"

"Yeah. You found something that helped you." He sighed. "That's really good, Morty. It sounded like you needed something like that. And for what it's worth….I don't know what I would be able to do if you weren't around."

Morton blinked again. "What's that supposed to...oh." His face turned magenta. "I...see what you're saying." He smiled. "Thank you "

"No problem." Junior patted Morton's hand, much to the Koopaling's surprise. "Your story can help others. Don't be afraid to share it."

Morton stared at Junior in surprise. "That's...deep. Really deep. Are you sure that you're a nine year old?"

Junior laughed. "I'm sure."

Morton let out a little chuckle. "Who are you, and what have you done with Junior?"

Junior shrugged. "I just realized through these stories that there is a lot more to my siblings than meets the eye. It's really cool."

Morton beamed. "Well, that's good." He paused for a little bit. "Do you want me to tell you one more story?"

Junior nodded. "Definitely."

"Okay. This one is a happy story. It revolves around a family vacation to the beach…"