Chapter 23 Cool Cat Part 1

Junior...if there is one thing that you need to know about me, and know pretty quick...it's that I rock. I rock all day, all night, twenty four seven, three sixty five. I was born to be awesome. The others? Well, maybe they were. I don't know, and honestly, I don't particularly care to know. All that matters to me that I rock the only way I know how; my way.

And how do I rock my way, I hear you asking in your head? By being the best at everything of course. Including being the best at video games.

I...LOVE video games. I have played so many that I honestly lost count of the number. And I still remember the day that I got my first video game console! It was one Koopsmas when I was very small, maybe about six. I tore open the wrapping paper like I was a fucking wolverine. Once I saw what was underneath, I became excited.

"No way!" I said. "A Nintendo Wii?"

"Yep!" said Bowser. The rest of the family was gathered around, all their eyes locked on me as I gawked at my precious present. "I got the best console for the best kiddos."

I grinned and stood up, puffing out my chest as I did so. "Hear that, guys? I am a best kiddo!"

Wendy laughed. "Best at being obnoxious, maybe."

"No, actually, I think he's the best at being annoying," said Ludwig.

"No! Wait!" said Roy. "He's the best at being a jerk!"

The others laughed, much to my chagrin and dismay. Thankfully, Bowser gave all three of the siblings who had insulted me smacks on the back of the head. This got a good, healthy chuckle out of me.

"Anyway," Bowser said as he turned back to me. "I want you all to remember that this console is not just for one single person. It is for all of you."

"Yeah yeah yeah," I said. "Sharing is caring, do onto others what you have them do unto you, I got it." I grinned. "What games did you get for us, Pops?"

Bowser's face lit up like a Koopsmas tree. "That's your next present." He handed me a box, this one much smaller and more rectangular than the box that contained the Wii. I tore into that one with the same level of enthusiasm as I had the Wii, not even caring that the torn up paper was getting on the floor. Kamek would surely clean it up anyway.

I gasped when I opened my present. "MARIO KART WII!" I bounded over to Bowser and wrapped him in a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

This got a snicker out of Ludwig. "Bowser actually got Larry to say thank you; it's a Koopsmas miracle!"

Bowser smacked him on the head again, and then turned back to me. "You're welcome, son. Let's go set it up."

…

Setting up the console and game was easy peasy lemon squeezy. Sure, I actually wasn't responsible for any part of the set up process, but I'll tell you, Bowser certainly made it look easy! Once the Nintendo Wii was all set up, I flopped down in front of it and grinned like a loon. The title screen music to Mario Kart Wii was playing, and it rocked!

"Okay!" Bowser said. He grinned devilishly. "Who wants to face your old man in a versus race challenge?"

"Me, me, me!" All the hands of us Koopalings shot up into the air.

"Okay, okay, one at a time, ONE AT A TIME!" Bowser looked around the room. "We'll go in birth order from youngest to oldest."

I gasped. "THAT MEANS I'M FIRST!" I jumped up and down. "Yay!"

So, we set up the race. Mario Circuit was the track we raced on. Bowser played as...well, Bowser, and I played as Koopa Troopa. I was taken aback by the awesomeness of the game. It was glorious Junior, glorious! Sure, compared to Mario Kart 8, it's not even close to looking remotely pretty. But for the time, Mario Kart Wii was legendary.

Especially for a little Koopa boy like me.

"Dude!" Roy said to me, jostling me by the shoulders. "The race already started; everyone is lapping you!"

That snapped me out of my stupor. I tried to make my way across the track after Bowser. Key word being tried, because...well, I sucked. I barely got a handle on the controls, and I kept getting distracted by my siblings either cheering Bowser on or cheering me on.

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP SO I CAN CONCENTRATE!" Once those words escaped my lips did Bowser cross the finish line. And because I was a lap behind everybody, I ended up coming in last.

I stared at the screen in shock. How? How was this possible? Did I seriously lose? On Mario Kart? Sure, it was my first time playing, but I'm supposed to be good at that sort of stuff. I'm supposed to be a prodigy at video games! Just like how Ludwig was a prodigy with music and Iggy is a prodigy at...stuff.

Now, I will have your head if you tell anybody I admitted to this...but I cried. I straight up bawled like a baby. "I lost! I lost!"

Bowser patted me on the shell. "It's okay, buddy; you'll get better. Now, hand the controller over to Morton."

I hugged the controller to my chest. "No! I want to try again."

Lemmy chuckled. "You can't, silly! You need to hand it over; those were the rules!"

"Screw the rules!" I shouted. Tears stung my eyes even more. "I want to try again! I can do better!"

"Larry," Bowser snapped. "Either you hand over the controller to Morton, or I unplug the Wii."

"Go ahead!" I shouted. "Unplug it; if I can't be good at it, nobody gets it!"

Bowser sighed and pinched his brow before turning to Kamek in the doorway (oh, did I forget to mention? Kamek was there too). "Kamek, can you help?"

Kamek nodded and waved his wand. The controller was teleported out of my hands and into Morton's. I cried even more.

"No!" I shouted.

"Master Lawrence," said Kamek. "You'll get another turn. Don't worry."

Defeated, I got up from the chair and sullenly dragged myself out of of the room. Right as I got to the doorway, I turned and saw Bowser and Morton, playing as the exact same characters and exact same track as I had. The only difference was that Morton was doing decently.

I sighed. "I'll show you guys," I said. "I'm gonna show you how good at video games I can be."