So, as many of you know, I like shitposts and memes. And some memes are greater than others. Anyway, there exists a couple panel comic by Twitter user tinafate1 where they depict a very… different outcome to Mustafar in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. In short? Padme has a choking fetish and she accidentally (or intentionally) lets it slip during Mustafar confusing both Anakin and Obi-Wan. This story, this shitpost, is a hypothetical "what-if" for the event as well as the events afterward. It's going to be short. But all the good shitposts usually are short.
Title: Harder Ani; or, how Padme's secret fetish saved the galaxy.
Rating: T+ but implied M.
Pairing: Obviously Anakin/Padme.
Summary: Padme lets a different secret slip on Mustafar when confronting her husband and… it goes places and the entire history of the galaxy is forever shifted.
Disclaimer: I own nothing other than my copy of MS Word and my desktop. Star Wars belongs to Disney and the idea for this shitpost belongs to Twitter user tinafate1. See the forward for the full disclaimer.
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The heat and general oppressive atmosphere of the volcanic planet Mustafar made Padme extremely uncomfortable, but this wouldn't be the first time she felt this way. From her colleagues in the Senate from Corellia, Mustafar met the descriptions of one of the many 'Corellian Hells' that the populace commonly swore on. Then again, it met the criteria for many cultures' version of a place where the spiritually damned go after death.
For Anakin, the planet was ironically fitting, as here he made his final actions towards the leaders of the Confederacy of Independent Systems that would end the Clone Wars for good. His judgment on the evils of the galaxy that had caused him so much grief and despair.
For Obi-Wan, this landing platform above the molten surface of Mustafar was like standing at a Hellmouth and some unseen guardian was waiting to see who should be cast into the fiery abyss.
"Stop now, I love you," Padme pleaded. Anakin looked behind her and was enraged.
"Liar!" Anakin shouted. Padme turned to see where Anakin was looking and saw Obi-Wan.
"No!"
"You're with him! You brought him here to kill me!"
Padme felt a hand as if made of steel grip her throat. "Let her go, Anakin!"
But Padme felt a different emotion. Her cheeks flushed and bedroom eyes started to pant, "Ha~! Ha~! Harder Ani~!"
"What?"/"What?" both Anakin and Obi-Wan said at the same time. Anakin, surprised let her go.
An hour or so had passed, enough time for everyone to gain their bearings.
"So, let me get this straight," Anakin asked. "You have a choking kink."
"Yes," Padme admitted borderline shamefully.
"And when I had-," Anakin trailed.
"It turned something on inside me," she continued to admit, a blush coloring her cheeks.
"Ok...," Obi-Wan trailed awkwardly, not sure how he could even participate in this conversation. Out of all of them, he was the only one who hadn't been in any relationship that didn't end because of Order obligations or said person dying during the Clone Wars.
This strange change in events led to things changing for the galaxy. The first was Anakin and Obi-Wan's double teaming of the newly appointed Emperor and Anakin taking his place for a few years. The Republic, now corruption free, was re-established and he stepped down to pursue more family-oriented goals in private.
Padme gave birth to two healthy children in secret to keep them out of the limelight. When Anakin retired as temporary Emperor their marriage and children were revealed to the public with another child on the way. Padme's... choice in kinks lead to a very active and exploratory period in their marriage that led to another child coming into the universe. And then a few others over the years. The young family moved to the quiet prairie world of Naboo and kept mostly to themselves, Padme getting involved with local politics aside.
As for Obi-Wan? He became a hermit for a time, mostly to grieve the loss of so many Jedi, both close friends and younglings alike he would never know. Grieving properly for Satine, his lost love who he could only admit at her life's end. He contemplated for a time what his life would have been like if he had left the Order for her. Palpatine would have still come to power and innumerable Jedi lost, but would he have lost Satine? Would he have been able to pull Anakin back from the Dark Side with his wife's... unorthodox help? One day, it just clicked and the mourning ceased, and was able to move on with his life.
As for the galaxy? Well, life went on better than it could have gone under a theoretical Empire.
End.
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There we go, short, simple, and based on a shitpost—a grand total of 600 words. Not much else to say here.
To other story ideas: I have the next entry into the Scrapyard coming along, like the last entry it's a collection of stories that I lost interest in that didn't really make it out of the "preface" stages (that bold text before I start writing the story). There are going to be 10+ ideas in there, so if you want to take a crack at them with your own take, feel free to when it drops and keep an eye out for it. I'm contemplating a few more story ideas to "replace" them, one that comes to mind is for Cyberpunk 2077. Technically, I have two but for now, it's only one new one. You might say my reason for going back into 2077 is because of the Edgerunners anime that dropped. You'd probably be right. Also, super hyped for the Phantom Liberty expansion coming next year.
On to real-life stuff: My Remington 700 hunting rifle came in (yay), but it had no scope (boo); so, I need to purchase a scope for it well before hunting season buying happens. Both Judgement and Lost Judgement dropped on Steam the other day and I'm going to be picking them up. Same with the sequel to AI: The Somnium Files (maybe it'll give me the incentive to complete the first game). I am also starting my "cursed" brews. I'm making Mountain Dew wine. It's a complete affront to God, I'm sure of it. To be clear, I'm going to ferment Mountain Dew and make wine out of it.
But that's all I have, for now, see you in whatever I put out next.