Call Me Babe for the Weekend

by Kicon

The youngest of Nishinoya Yuu's three older sisters is getting married, so of course he brings his best friend Tanaka Ryuunosuke as his plus one. The only problem is, his entire family has assumed they're dating. Now Noya has to deal with years of repressed feelings while keeping up the act and not ruining his friendship. Can they survive the weekend? TanaNoya. Fake dating.

Call Me Babe for the Weekend

Written for the HQ Rarepair Bang 2021

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A/N:

- Manga/timeskip spoiler-free

- This takes place three years after Tanaka and Noya graduate high school, so they're both 21 and there are four flashback scenes to the end of their third year when they're both 18

- There are a fair amount of OC's in this because of all of Noya's family. Hopefully it isn't confusing, but I made a family tree if you want to check that out

- Toward the end of the third flashback scene, Tanaka starts to have a panic attack. It's not from his POV and it ends pretty quickly, but just a heads up

- Shortly after the third flashback scene there's a brief description of a character safely self-administering a hormone injection, also as a heads up

- Title is from Tis the Damn Season by Taylor Swift! The rest of the song doesn't really have anything to do with the fic, but it is a vibe

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The travel options on the computer screen blurred across Nishinoya Yuu's vision as he zoned out, distracted by the delicious smells of whatever his best friend and roommate Tanaka Ryuunosuke was cooking for dinner in the apartment kitchen. He forcibly refocused his eyes, making himself once again to pay attention to the travel times and ticket prices on his laptop even though it was so terribly boring.

He shook himself and looked over the options—bus and train, bus and bus, bus and flight, flight and train—and felt his brain begin to glaze over again when his eyes landed on the option suggested by the travel website to be the cheapest: one train line from Okayama to Tokyo, then another to Sendai. Then they'd bus into town and be there after just six hours.

Noya glanced up at the note tacked to the bulletin board above his desk with Ryuu's usual work schedule written on it along with a big smiley face, courtesy of Ryuu. He worked a mid-shift on Thursdays after his morning communications class, so if they left after that they'd get to Miyagi right around bedtime. Not ideal, but at least they'd already be there for all the pre-wedding prep on Friday.

He switched his gaze to the Save the Date pinned on his board, which featured the youngest of his three older sisters Mizuki laughing with her fiancée Yume. The official wedding invitation was stuck to their fridge, with its fancy lettering and details, but Noya liked this one best and wanted to keep it close. His sister's face was lit up with joy, holding her fiancée tight as Yume kissed her cheek, engagement ring visible on her hand.

Mizuki and Yume have been together for almost four years, and both families had gone into a tizzy when they announced their engagement. Now, eight months later and after a whirlwind of planning and pomp and circumstance, the details of which Noya didn't fully understand or even care to, it was all finally happening this Saturday.

Noya smiled and went to purchase two sets of train tickets, then texted his mom to let her know the estimated arrival time on Thursday so they weren't stranded at the bus station. Approximately thirty seconds later, his phone began to ring.

"Moshi moshi, Kaa-san," he greeted, "how—"

"You're coming to the wedding?!" she demanded, skipping over the niceties.

"What—what do you mean?" he asked, bewildered by her tone of voice. "Of course I'm coming to the wedding!"

His mom sniffed haughtily. "Well you never sent your RSVP card."

The RSVP card…right. He vaguely remembered one falling out of the invitation's envelope and later tossing it into the recycling. He also remembered brushing off Ryuu when he said Noya should send it in.

"Aren't those optional for family?" he said instead of admitting any of that, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yuu!"

"What?!" he whined, twisting a strand of his blond forelock between his fingers. "I thought it was obvious that I'm coming. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well how should I know? That's what the RSVP is for, you little shit," she said in a withering tone.

He rolled his eyes and was grateful she couldn't see him do so. "Okay, well, we're coming, so don't give my room to someone else."

"'We'?" she repeated eagerly. "Are you bringing someone special with you?"

"Uh, yeah, Ryuu," he said and rolled his eyes again, because this was another thing that he thought should be obvious. He and Ryuu did everything together.

His mother inhaled sharply and whispered, "Ryuunosuke?"

He blinked, confused by her sudden change in tone. "...yeah?"

"Oh! Oh, Yuu—oh how wonderful!" she exclaimed, sounding far too thrilled, but then again his mom has always loved Ryuu. "How exciting! I can't wait to see the two of you! I'm so happy!"

"Yeah, yeah, us too," he replied. "So we'll be there on Thursday night, okay?"

"That sounds perfect. Oh, I'm just delighted. We'll see you then."

"See you then," he agreed, and then they hung up.

"Your mom?" Ryuu asked when Noya came out of his bedroom and plopped down beside him on the couch, two bowls of steaming beef udon sitting on the coffee table.

"Mhm." Noya eagerly scooped up his bowl. "So get this, apparently she thought I wasn't coming to the wedding cause I never sent the RSVP."

"Well yeah," Ryuu replied as he flicked through their television's menus to get to their current watch.

Noya gaped at him. "But—wha—Those aren't required for family! Obviously I was gonna come!"

"Bro, sending the RSVP is like…wedding etiquette 101."

"Traitor," Noya grumbled. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Noya, my dude, my man," Ryuu said, turning toward him and placing a large warm hand on Noya's knee, "I'm always on your side. But I still toldja you should've sent it."

"Oh fuck off," Noya muttered and twisted on the couch so he could lightly kick Ryuu's thigh. Ryuu's hand fell away from his knee, which Noya half-regretted but was also half-glad for because it had started to do funny things to his heart, things that he'd been pushing down for years.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, you…you are coming with me, right?" he asked, because now his mom had gotten him all self-conscious about assuming people are on the same page as him.

"Two hundred and six days," Ryuu replied.

"Huh?"

Ryuu looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "It's been two hundred and six days since we received the save the date, and now you ask me to go to the wedding with you? The wedding that's in five days?"

Noya's face burned. "W-well—what—"

"What if I'd picked up a shift, huh? What if I had a project due on Monday? What if I made plans?"

"As if," Noya retorted, trying to regain ground. "Your only plans are always with me."

"Ouch, man," Ryuu said, slapping a hand over his chest and wincing in mock pain.

Noya pursed his lips and waited, bouncing his knees in anxiety for a few moments before bursting, "Well, are you?!"

Ryuu regarded him with narrowed eyes for a long moment, long enough that Noya started to really freak out, but then Ryuu's face cracked into that familiar crooked grin. "Fuckin' duh," he said.

"Good," Noya replied, smiling and pretending he didn't want to sag in relief, "cause I already bought the train tickets."

Ryuu threw his head back and laughed, and Noya joined in a moment later.

Before Karasuno—before Ryuu—Noya had always treated friendships in a detached sort of way. His parents moved them around fairly frequently when he was a kid, so he tried to never get too dependent on any of the friends that he made. They would serve their purpose for whatever length of time he was in that city, and then he'd move on.

It sucked in a way, leaving behind connections and bonds over and over, but Noya never had trouble making new friends, and it was kind of exciting to see all the different people he could meet. Plus it didn't really bother him because he'd never met anyone he really, truly wanted to hold on to.

Until Ryuu.

A month into his first year of high school, his parents had begun talking about possibly moving again. The reasons were always the same every time they moved: better job, better school, better area, cheaper housing. Noya never really noticed a difference, but then again he was just a kid, so what did he know? He'd always trusted their judgment and went along with whatever they wanted.

But they'd been in this town for over a year, which was the longest they'd stayed in one place in a while. Noya was making a name for himself in local volleyball, and now he'd found a team and a boy that he thought he could make into a home. So he did something he'd never done before and asked them to stay, and they did. And to his parents' own surprise, they fell in love with the town and never moved again.

The same couldn't be said for Noya, who now resided in Okayama for college, and who knew where he'd end up in the future, but he did still have Ryuu with him. He hoped it would stay that way for the rest of their lives.

Ryuu put their show on and settled back against the couch, and Noya shifted so their sides were touching again. His heart rate picked up in his chest, and he thought about the other hope he used to have for their lives, one with lazy mornings in bed and goodnight kisses.

Let it be, Noya reminded his heart, and he scooped noodles into his mouth, swallowing down both the food and his age-old heartache.

/ / /

Thursday came around faster than expected, and of course Noya had put off all his packing until that morning. He'd buzzed around the apartment, leaving mess after mess in his wake as he searched for clean pairs of underwear and the suit his mom had bought him after high school graduation three years ago. Ryuu was gonna kill him when he saw the state of the apartment, but that was a problem for Sunday Noya because Ryuu was meeting him at the train station right after he got off his shift.

Or rather, now Noya was meeting Ryuu at the station because he'd left and returned to the apartment four times after remembering something he'd forgotten and was now running very late. First it was his hair gel, then his phone charger, and then the damn suit which he'd left hanging on his bedroom door after finding it in Ryuu's closet. "For safe keeping," said the post-it stuck to the garment bag in his mother's handwriting, which made him scowl. It was like she didn't trust him or something.

This most recent trip to the apartment happened as he'd been doublechecking the packing list Ryuu made for him—which he'd stubbornly ignored at first, insistent that he hadn't needed it—when he realized he didn't have Ryuu's bag with him.

It was nowhere in sight. He'd almost torn Ryuu's room apart in his determination and only got distracted once by the photo of the two of them that was taped to the top of Ryuu's alarm clock. Noya wasn't sure how long the photo had been there, but it was one of his favorites: the two of them at graduation, arms over each other's shoulders, proudly gripping diplomas many people weren't sure they'd ever manage to get. He let himself linger on Ryuu's wide, toothy grin a moment longer, then returned to searching the apartment.

As the time ticked by, desperation set in, and Noya pulled out his phone to text the man himself.

Nishinoya Yuu: wheres ur bag?
Tanaka Ryuunosuke: took it with me

Noya slapped a hand over his forehead and stormed out of Ryuu's room, grabbing his bag up off the floor of the genkan as he hurried out the door.

Nishinoya Yuu: what, didnt trust me to remember it?
Tanaka Ryuunosuke: no lol
Tanaka Ryuunosuke: be honest, how many times have you gone back for something now?
Nishinoya Yuu: …none of ur damn business

Ryuu texted back a laughing emoji, and Noya slipped his phone back into his pocket as he stepped into the elevator. Of course, right when the elevator doors closed, he realized he'd forgotten the fucking suit again and slammed his head against the elevator doors as he let out a loud groan.

Well. At least the trains left every fifteen minutes.

/ / /

After two more trips back into the apartment—he'd also managed to forget his dress shoes—Noya finally made it to the train station, and then five and a half hours later they had arrived in Sendai. Ryuu navigated them to the bus station, and then it was another half hour until they'd arrived in their old hometown.

"Oh, man, look at the trees," Ryuu said, pressed up against the bus's window.

Noya rolled his eyes. Ryuu always got nostalgic about all of the nature of the countryside whenever they came back to visit.

"D'you think any of the guys are in town?" Ryuu asked.

"Prolly not," Noya replied. Most of their old teammates were scattered to the winds, spread out across Japan and even the world. "Why, you don't wanna be stuck with me all weekend?"

"Yeah, I get enough of you already," Tanaka said, then grinned and deftly dodged Noya's right hook.

Ten minutes later they disembarked from the bus and found Noya's dad waiting for them in the parking lot. Nishinoya Kosei was the tallest member of their immediate family, dwarfing his son by a little over twenty-five centimeters. Noya would forever be bitter that he'd inherited his mom's height instead of his dad's.

"Tou-san!" Noya greeted happily, slapping palms with his father.

"Heya, kiddo," Kosei replied, then held his hand out to Ryuu. "Ryuunosuke, good to see you. And congratulations, you two, really happy to hear about it."

Ryuu blinked as he shook Kosei's hand, then looked at Noya in question, but Noya just shrugged. He couldn't think of anything worth being congratulated for. They wouldn't graduate college for another year, and they didn't have any recent accomplishments.

"So how was the trip?" Kosei asked, and the confusing moment was forgotten about.

They drove to the Nishinoyas' home, passing the old Tanaka house on the way. It was occupied by a new family now, and Noya heard Ryuu let out a little wistful sigh as they drove by. Sometime after Noya and Ryuu graduated and moved to Okayama, Saeko moved to Tokyo and their dad moved to Sendai to be closer to his job, which was a relief for both Tanaka siblings after the car accident he'd been in just after graduation. But it had been really hard for Ryuu to say goodbye to the place he'd lived all his life.

"Remember to be quiet, the others are sleeping," Kosei said when they arrived as he helped them unload their bags.

"Gotcha," Noya replied, and together they went into the house.

"There's my monkey," said Nishinoya Chiaki when they stepped inside. Her smile was just as wide as ever, if perhaps accompanied by a few more lines than before.

"Hi Kaa-san," Noya said and allowed himself to be folded into his mother's embrace. She was the only person in his family that he was taller than, with the exception of Noya's middle sister Hiru's kids, Takashi and Sakiko, who were five and two respectively.

"And Ryuunosuke too." Chiaki reached out with one arm, and Ryuu bent over to let her hug him. She wrapped them both up as best she could. "Oh, my boys. I'm just so damn happy."

Noya smiled and pressed his face into her neck, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume. When she released them she clasped Noya's cheeks with her hands.

"Tell me everything," she demanded. "I want to hear all about it. When did it happen, how long—"

"My dear," Kosei interrupted gently, "I'm sure they're tired."

"Ah, of course, of course." She smiled at them. "Well, you know where your room is."

"Surprised you didn't give it to the kids," Noya said as he picked up his duffel. Kosei grabbed his and Ryuu's garment bags and disappeared into the house to presumably put them with the family's other outfits for the wedding.

"Almost did, if you hadn't texted me," she said, and there was a slight edge to her voice that let him know she was still mad about the RSVP thing. Noya chose to drop it. Ryuu, however, did not.

"I told him to send the RSVP, Nishinoya-san," Ryuu piped up in a simpering voice as they climbed the stairs.

Chiaki turned and patted his cheek. "And that's why you're my favorite son."

"Hey!" Noya hissed, and it would've been louder if they weren't outside of the bedrooms where his grandfather and his sister Hiru, her husband Sato, and their children were sleeping. His two other sisters were staying in hotels in town.

"Oh hush," Chiaki said good-naturedly and opened the door to Noya's bedroom.

It hadn't changed since he moved out. Sports, grunge band, and swimsuit posters covered the far wall, and the shelf above his desk proudly bore his volleyball trophies and medals. The bedspread was even still the same gaudy flame bedding he'd picked out when he was ten.

Noya set his bag down, smiling at all the familiarity. "Is the guest futon in the closet?"

"Please, boys, it's the twenty-first century, no need to be so modest," Chiaki replied with a laugh. "Besides, Hiru's using it for the kids."

"Right," Noya said slowly, a little confused by his mom's reaction.

"Alright, well, I'll let you get some rest, but we're having a big family breakfast in the morning and then it's off to the venue for prep work, okay?"

"Sounds good," Noya replied.

"Thank you for having me," Ryuu said, bowing his head.

She smiled at them both, then shut the door, leaving them alone.

"So…your parents are being a little weird, huh?" Ryuu said.

"Seriously," Noya replied, walking over and flopping backwards onto the familiar mattress. "Must be pre-wedding jitters."

"Must be."

His voice sounded a little funny, so Noya raised himself up on his elbows to look at him, and—oh. He's suddenly reminded of the last time they were in this bedroom alone together, the last time Noya had laid on this bed with Ryuu looking down at him.

Ryuu wasn't looking at him now, though. He was rubbing the back of his smooth head and looking down at the floor, the hint of a blush on his cheeks.

"So, uh, d'you want me to take the floor, or…?" Ryuu asked.

"What? No," Noya said instantly, then regretted it a little because yeah it would probably be easier for the both of them if he did sleep on the floor. But Noya was nothing if not a good friend, and he wasn't going to make Ryuu sleep on the floor three nights in a row after dragging him to his sister's wedding. "No, dude, we can share. It'll be fine."

"Right," Ryuu said, nodding. "Right, yeah, sure. Of course."

"Of course," Noya echoed.

There was an awkward pause, something that was pretty rare between the two of them, and then Ryuu spoke. "Did you remember your toothbrush?"

Noya slapped his forehead and groaned, and then they both let out hushed laughs.

After grabbing a spare toothbrush and getting ready for bed, Noya climbed under the covers first, scooting over until he was almost flush against the wall. Ryuu turned the lights out, then navigated across the room by the light of the moon filtering in through the blinds across Noya's window. Noya's heart thudded in his chest as he felt Ryuu lift the blankets and then slide in beside Noya.

The bed was big enough that they could lay side by side with several centimeters of space between them, but Noya could still feel the dip and shift in the mattress as Ryuu settled himself. He imagined he could feel Ryuu's warmth, too, and he curled his fingers to resist reaching out for it.

"This okay?" Ryuu asked.

"Yeah, man, it's fine," Noya said more confidently than he felt, which was one of his top skills. Fake it till you make it, he always said. He often felt exactly as confident as he acted, but on the occasions he wasn't no one ever knew the difference. Except Ryuu, usually.

"Cool," Ryuu said. "Night, Noya."

"Night, Ryuu."

Noya closed his eyes, but it was a long time before his racing heart let him drop off into sleep.

/ / /

Lips on lips, on jaws, on necks. Hands pushing, pulling, tugging, clawing, trying to get nearer, to close a distance that no longer existed between their bodies. Tongues traced over marks left by teeth. Hot air blew over throats, over mouths, over ears. Feet stumbled across the floor of the bedroom, haste and adrenaline spurring their movements.

"Shit," Ryuu whispered, tripping over one of many piles of clothes Noya had left strewn about his bedroom floor.

Noya giggled and used the leverage he already had from his fingers curled tightly in Ryuu's shirt to steady him. He kicked the pants and sweatshirt out of the way, then hauled Ryuu in for another kiss.

Ryuu let out a surprised noise the same way he had the first time Noya kissed him downstairs at the graduation party that was still going on, the same way he had every single time Noya has pulled him down again since then, and each time it made Noya's heart skip a beat. It made him want to draw even more sounds from Ryuu, to coax out every gasp and moan that he could and make a catalogue of his favorite ones.

They reached the bed sooner than Noya had expected, and he fell over backwards and dragged Ryuu down with him. Ryuu landed heavily on top of him, and their teeth and foreheads collided uncomfortably, and for a second Noya was worried it would ruin the mood, but then Ryuu was snickering as he strained his neck to kiss Noya again. Noya's never had champagne before, but he imagined it must taste something like this, like giggles bubbling across his lips until his whole body felt light and tingly.

Noya surged up against him, legs sliding out from underneath Ryuu's weight to squeeze Ryuu's hips with them. The denim of Ryuu's pants rubbed harshly against the soft skin of his inner thighs, exposed from the significant way Noya's shorts had ridden up. Ryuu shifted forward, catching Noya's bottom lip in his teeth as he tried to move up the bed so his legs weren't awkwardly hanging off.

Noya got the message, reluctantly taking his hands away from Ryuu's cheeks so he could crawl backwards on his elbows, but it was worth it to be able to collapse against his pillows with Ryuu settling on top of him exactly like he'd dreamed about so very often.

"Noya," Ryuu whispered, lips pressed to the hollow of Noya's throat. "Yuu."

He let out an involuntary gasp as heat rushed straight through him to his stomach. "Shit, shit," he mumbled, grasping Ryuu's face again to drag their mouths together again.

Ryuu's tongue slipped along the seam of Noya's lips, and Noya opened eagerly for him, barely stifling a moan as Ryuu's tongue stroked along his own. The fingers of one hand weaseled their way into Noya's gelled hair while the other traced down his side to where the hem of his shirt had inched up. The first brush of Ryuu's calloused fingers on his bare waist had Noya arching up against him, a broken whine escaping from his lips.

He was warm, so warm, too warm. His whole body burned, and the flames were only encouraged by the heat of Ryuu's body surrounding him. Fire trailed in the wake of Ryuu's fingertips as he traced the skin of Noya's side up to his ribs, and Noya let out a strained whimper. He almost couldn't believe he was this worked up already when they'd hardly even done anything and they were still fully clothed. But then Ryuu sucked Noya's lower lip into his mouth, and he stopped caring. He couldn't waste time being embarrassed when he finally—finally—had Ryuu in his arms and his bed.

Noya's palms were sweaty as he pressed them to Ryuu's lower back, then rucked Ryuu's shirt up and slid them up over his bare ribs and spine. Ryuu rolled his hips, groaning into Noya's mouth, and Noya slotted their lips fully together once again. He hooked his legs around Ryuu's waist and rocked, bringing their clothed groins into contact, and they both cried out at the feeling.

"Oh, fuck," Ryuu groaned, dropping his forehead to Noya's collarbone.

"Yeah," Noya agreed, and they rocked against each other again. Suddenly this dreamlike thing that was happening felt very, very real.

"Ryuu," Noya said urgently. "Can…can we? Will you—"

"You—you want this?" Ryuu asked, sounding almost like he couldn't believe it even as their hips rolled together.

Noys groaned. "Yes, I—shit, I want this. I want you."

"M-me too," Ryuu whispered, and Noya's heart thudded louder than the bass of the music downstairs as he pulled Ryuu into another searing kiss.

/ / /

Noya woke with a jolt, then groaned, pressing his face into the pillow and squeezing his eyes shut to try to erase the buried memories that his mind had so inconveniently conjured for him. He hadn't thought of that night in a long time, that night when everything had been going so well before it all went so wrong.

He heaved a sigh and opened his eyes, quickly becoming aware of several things at once. The first was that he wasn't in his bedroom at his and Ryuu's apartment, but rather his childhood bedroom, the very place he'd just dreamed of. The second was that he had a warm weight pressed along his back and draped over his side that had to be Ryuu. And the third was the massive boner aching between his legs.

Shit, he thought, swallowing heavily as he evaluated his predicament.

The dream must've been conjured by the familiar setting, of this bed and Ryuu next to him—Ryuu spooning him—and his body had reacted accordingly. But now he had a boner and a best friend in his bed and no bathroom to escape to because he could hear the water running in the pipes that told him someone was in the shower.

Think of bad things, he told himself as he tried to wiggle out of Ryuu's hold. That time you saw Gramps naked. When Mizuki taught you about tampons. The day you ate a raw onion like an apple because Chikara told you not to.

As his morning wood slowly went down, he tried to carefully pull Ryuu's hand out from where it was wedged between Noya's body and the bed. But the second he'd created enough space for himself to start wiggling out from under Ryuu's arm, it just tightened right back around him like a damn snake. Ryuu snuffled in his sleep, curling even further against Noya. He shifted his head and nuzzled at the skin just behind Noya's ear, then let out a content little sigh.

Fucking hell, Noya despaired, heart aching as he wished he could just enjoy this, but he couldn't. He couldn't. But maybe…maybe he could pretend to go back to sleep. Maybe he could press back into Ryuu's chest and revel in the feeling of his strong body against Noya's. Maybe he could close his eyes and relax in Ryuu's hold, breathing in the scent of Ryuu all around him and extend this daydream a little longer.

Guilt bubbled up in his gut the second he thought about it. He couldn't take advantage of Ryuu's sleepy state right now, and he couldn't keep breaking his own heart.

But before he could try to get away from Ryuu again, two shrieks of laughter came from downstairs and Ryuu inhaled sharply. Noya froze as Ryuu shifted, arm squeezing Noya again as he pressed his face into Noya's neck and sighed. Then Noya felt Ryuu's mouth on his shoulder as it stretched open in a yawn, and Noya shut his eyes immediately.

He knew the moment Ryuu was awake, could feel it in the way Ryuu froze and took stock of their situation the same way Noya had.

"Shit," Ryuu whispered, and Noya clenched his jaw, still pretending to be asleep. In a moment Ryuu would take his arm away, Noya knew, and the spell the morning had cast would be broken.

But when Ryuu moved, instead of pulling away, he nestled close again. Then he put his face in Noya's sleep-mussed hair and breathed. Noya's heart pounded in his chest, and he wondered if Ryuu could feel it. Ryuu's arm hugged him one more time, and then he drew away, fingers trailing over Noya's side as he turned and rolled over to face away from him.

Noya had to concentrate on keeping his breathing even once Ryuu settled. His brain was filled with static as he tried to process what just happened. Because that had happened, right? It had to have. But…but it couldn't mean anything. There was nothing between them, after all, and there hadn't been since that night three years ago.

It was probably just instinct. Most people liked waking up next to a warm body in their bed, and he's pretty sure Ryuu hasn't hooked up with anyone in a while. Ryuu was just operating on human nature before sense took over and reminded him that he didn't like Noya like that.

He exhaled long and slow, taking a moment to gather his wits, and then stretched his arms over his head like he was just waking up. Ryuu stirred next to him, and Noya sat up to rub his eyes. He didn't think he could handle turning and looking at Ryuu while they were both laying down, heads resting on soft pillows, staring into sleepy morning eyes.

"Morning," Noya greeted, looking down at Ryuu.

"Morning," Ryuu echoed and rolled on to his back, pillowing an arm beneath his head.

"How'd you sleep?" Noya asked then, because he couldn't help himself.

Ryuu flushed and glanced away from Noya as he answered. "Oh, uh, fine. Just fine."

"Good."

They fell silent, and Noya heard the creaking of the side door downstairs as it opened and closed, followed by the giggles and babbling of his niece and nephew. The water in the pipes shut off, and he could hear voices and noises coming from the kitchen downstairs.

"Well, I guess it's family time," Noya said with a sigh. "You ready for this?"

"I can handle it," Ryuu replied.

Noya laughed, and then they got out of bed, and Noya pushed away the weirdness from earlier.

Ryuu's met all of his immediate family before, but he's only ever fleetingly interacted with Noya's sisters. That was par for the course, though, when Noya's sisters had all moved out by the time Noya was ten years old. See, Noya's sisters were all perfectly spaced apart by two years. And then there was Noya, eight years younger than the youngest daughter Mizuki and very clearly an accident no matter how many times their mom called him a blessing.

It was certainly a unique experience, growing up as both a little brother and something of an only child. His relationship with his sisters often felt more motherly or auntlike rather than sisterly, and he was frequently jealous of the close sibling relationships his friends had. It was one of the reasons he'd started inviting himself over to the Tanaka household so frequently in the beginning of his and Ryuu's friendship, to see the fun dynamic he and Saeko had.

Still, he loved his sisters, and they loved him, and he wouldn't trade them or his relationships with them for anything in the world. They'd grown closer in recent years, too, with Noya entering adulthood and being able to bond with them more over shared life experiences.

"There he is!" Mizuki called when Noya stepped into the living room fifteen minutes later after changing and washing his face.

"Hey stranger," Asami greeted.

"Monkey!" Hiru exclaimed.

All three Nishinoya sisters were seated around the chabudai, watching some morning show on the news, and they turned three identical grins on Noya. He had seen many sets of siblings in his lifetime, and they ranged in looks from clonelike to only mildly related if you squinted, but he and his sisters all looked extremely similar, somehow ending up as four slightly different perfect mixes of their parents.

Each of them sported the same heart-shaped face, dark hair, and hazel eyes, and they'd all inherited poliosis from their mother. Asami, the eldest, had her streak of blonde hair at the center of her forehead just like Noya, and as such it usually framed her face when it was down. Right now, though, the blonde was swirled around in the bun on her head. Hiru's patch was at her left temple, but some of her eyelashes were white too if you looked close enough. And at first glance Mizuki looked like she had a whole head of normal dark hair, but her blonde streak was actually just behind her right ear.

They also were all—unfortunately—taller than him, which was a fact Noya was reminded of as Hiru sprang up from where she'd been sitting at the chabudai and hugged him tightly to her chest.

"What's the fuss for?" Noya asked, hugging his most affectionate sister back with one arm. "You'd think you guys haven't seen me in like five years."

"Well it has been a while," Asami pointed out. "And we didn't know you were even coming until Monday."

"Yeah, thanks for the RSVP, Yuu," Mizuki said with narrowed eyes.

"Okay, hear me out—" Noya started.

"I told you to send it," said a triumphant new voice, and Noya turned to glare at Ryuu, who'd appeared behind him.

Noya opened his mouth to argue his case that RSVP's shouldn't be required for family, but he was cut off by his sisters' sudden clamor.

"Ryuunosuke!" Mizuki yelped right as Asami groaned and slapped a hand to her forehead.

"You're here! It's really you!" Hiru said excitedly, releasing Noya to hug Ryuu instead.

Ryuu hugged her back and shot Noya a confused look over Hiru's shoulder, but Noya shrugged. He was just as bewildered by their reaction as Ryuu was.

"Cough it up," Mizuki said to Asami, slamming her hand palm up on the chabudai.

Asami grumbled to herself as she fished her wallet out of the purse at her side. Noya watched in dismay as Asami placed several hundred yen in Mizuki's awaiting hand.

"Damn it, I thought for sure Kaa-san had it wrong," Asami bemoaned.

"Not me," Mizuki said, counting the bills with glee before slipping them in her pants pocket. "I had faith in you, baby brother."

"I just couldn't believe it finally happened," Hiru said happily, and then she was steering Ryuu over to the chabudai and forcibly sitting him on the cushion next to her. "I want to hear all about it."

"Yeah, when did it start?" Asami asked.

"And why didn't you tell us?" added Mizuki.

Ryuu twisted around to look helplessly at Noya, who was still standing frozen in the doorway. He opened his mouth to ask what the fuck kind of drugs his family was on when their mother broke in, yelling from the kitchen, "Wait, wait! I want to hear the story too!"

"Oh yeah, she's been dying to ask you guys all the details," Mizuki said with a good-natured eyeroll. "It's almost like she was looking forward to your arrival more than my goddamn wedding."

Asami and Hiru laughed, and then Asami said, "Still, I really can't believe you two finally got together."

Noya could almost feel the lightbulb turn on over his head.

They think we're dating, he realized, and then his ears burned with embarrassment. He remembered the way his mother had phrased the question: Are you bringing someone special? And when he answered Ryuu, she got so excited, and his dad said congratulations, and his mother denied them the futon…

Shit. Shit, they were going to tease him so hard, but he had to correct them before it went too far. His throat felt dry and scratchy as he opened his mouth to explain the misunderstanding, but they barreled on before he could get a word in edgewise.

"I know, right?" Hiru continued. "It was so sad watching Yuu try and fail to date other people."

"He's always been so bad at dating," Mizuki sniggered.

"I'm not bad at dating!" Noya protested, and that wasn't what he'd meant to say, but he couldn't just sit by and listen to his sisters' slander.

Asami snorted. "Please, Yuu, what's your record? Three weeks?"

"And your record is zero," Noya snapped.

"Because I'm aromantic," Asami replied, "and you're not." She paused. "Are you?"

"No, but—"

"It's just cause he was dating the wrong ones," Hiru said gently, and she didn't know how right she was as she patted Ryuu's arm. "Here's hoping he's finally figured it out though."

"Yeah, so don't fuck it up, Yuu," Mizuki teased.

Noya's jaw flexed as his gut churned with frustration and annoyance. His sisters weren't trying to be mean or put him in a bad place. They were genuinely happy for him and were just showing it through their usual teasing, and if he was actually dating Ryuu the ribbing wouldn't bother him at all, but as it was—

As it was, all he wanted was to prove them wrong.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck off," Noya said, then strode forward and grabbed Ryuu's arm. "Hey, babe, can I get your help with something?"

"U-uh—I—" Ryuu stammered.

"Thanks!" Noya exclaimed, dragging Ryuu up off the cushion. He didn't pause to let Ryuu gather his balance, and Ryuu stumbled as Noya bodily removed him from the living room. The closest private space was the downstairs bathroom, and Noya all but threw Ryuu inside before slamming the door shut and banging his forehead against it.

"N-Noya?" Ryuu asked. "What…what just happened?"

Noya turned around and slumped against the bathroom door. He met Ryuu's eyes with a strained look. "They think we're dating."

Ryuu's face turned bright red. "They—what—why?!"

"My mom asked if I was bringing anyone special, and I said you, and she must've thought—and then she told—fuck, and now—" He held back the garbled scream that wanted so badly to tear itself from his throat as he dragged his fingers over the skin of his face. "Fuck. Fuck."

"Well…well shouldn't we just tell them we're not?"

"Are you kidding me?" Noya hissed. "After that whole debacle of me being supposedly bad at dating?"

Ryuu rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean…"

"Don't finish that sentence, you traitor," Noya snapped, and Ryuu held his hands up and grinned placatingly. "I can't…I can't let them win. I can't let them be right," he muttered to himself.

Gears turned in his mind as he pictured the way his sisters would react if he told them the truth. There would be confusion and teasing, and probably the accidental reveal of his long-held unrequited feelings for his best friend. And then Ryuu would know, he'd know how Noya felt about him and it would make things weird, and Ryuu would try to push through it because he was a great guy—a fantastic guy—but it would simmer and fester and eventually ruin their friendship, and then—

No. Noya couldn't let that happen. There had to be another way.

He stopped leaning against the door, straightened his shoulders, and looked right at Ryuu. "We have to keep it up."

"Keep—keep what up?" Ryuu asked.

"The lie. The mistake. We have to let them keep thinking it's true," Noya said, and he heard the desperation begin to creep into his voice. Fuck, this was so stupid, but he just couldn't deal with what could happen if they didn't do this.

"S-so, we'd…we have to pretend to date?" Ryuu asked. "This whole weekend?"

Noya swallowed, and then he nodded. "Please, Ryuu, please. I'll owe you like a million favors, I just—I can't—they—"

"Okay," Ryuu said quietly.

Noya tried not to cringe at the strain he heard in Ryuu's voice. It was uncomfortable, probably, for Ryuu to agree to fake date someone he wasn't interested in, especially when that person was his best friend. But he agreed anyway, because he was the best person in the world. And now they'd get to spend the weekend holding hands and being coupley, and maybe they'd even slow dance at the reception, and Noya would have an excuse to gaze lovingly at him the way Noya always wanted to—

Okay, maybe his motivation for suggesting this wasn't entirely to pull one over on his sisters, but nobody had to know that.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's—it's fine. We can date. Pretend date, I mean. For the weekend," Ryuu said, nodding too quickly and betraying his nervousness.

"Okay. Yeah, yeah, cool, um…" Noya swallowed again, heart racing. "Yeah, just for the weekend. And in a couple months we'll just tell them we're better off as friends or something, and that'll be that. We can forget all about it."

Ryuu pursed his lips for a moment and nodded. "Yeah. Forget about it."

Noya resisted cringing at the painful, too-familiar words from years ago and took a deep breath, then exhaled sharply. He slapped a fist into the palm of his other hand. "Okay, cool. Well, we should get back out there. They're gonna get suspicious if we keep them waiting."

"W-well, wait, shouldn't we—I mean, in the movies they always come up with rules or like a story or—"

"Yuu? Where'd you go?" his mother called. "Breakfast is ready!"

"Shit. We don't have time," Noya said. "Just—just do whatever feels right. I don't care. I'm down for anything, and I trust you."

"Right," Ryuu said a little dazedly.

"Where's Yuu-oji?" a young voice asked loudly—Takashi, Hiru's five year old son and Noya's nephew.

"C'mon, we're needed," Noya said, and then hesitated for a moment before taking Ryuu's hand and interlacing their fingers. Ryuu audibly gasped, and his hand squeezed instinctively around Noya's. "Let's go," Noya said, managing to get the words out despite the tightening in his throat, and dragged Ryuu out of the bathroom.

This was a terrible idea.

"There you boys are!" Chiaki exclaimed when they returned to the room. The space was entirely too crowded, between Noya's parents, his sisters, Hiru's husband and kids, and Noya's grandfather, not to mention the chabudai was covered with dishes. "Grab a seat!"

"Yuu-oji, sit with me, sit with me!" Takashi called, shoving his mother away from him. Hiru rolled her eyes and scooted over to make room.

"Hey little man!" Noya responded, and pulled Ryuu along with him. He could practically feel the gaze of his family members on their joined hands, but he swallowed down the nerves.

His nephew peered around Noya at Ryuu, eyes wide as he took in the shaved head and the multiple piercings. "Who's that?" he whispered.

Takashi had been just barely a year old the first and only time he'd previously met Ryuu, right after he'd been adopted by Hiru and her husband Sato, so of course he wouldn't remember. Sakiko, Takashi's two-year-old sister, was adopted almost a year ago and hadn't met Ryuu. But, from the way she sat babbling in her father's lap, Noya didn't think she was concerned about it.

"This is Ryuu," Noya replied, "my…my boyfriend." Noya kept his eyes trained on his nephew in an attempt to keep his cool as his sisters tittered and his mother cooed.

"He's cool," Takashi said, still in a hushed tone as if Ryuu couldn't hear him.

"I think so too," Noya whispered back, and he felt Ryuu's hand squeeze around his again.

"Settling down, eh champ?" his grandfather asked, leaning an elbow on the table.

"I guess so," Noya replied, regretfully letting go of Ryuu's hand because his had started to get sweaty. Ryuu released him easily, but then leaned into Noya's side to make up for it. The action felt so normal that it made Noya's heart hurt.

"Well it's about time," Chiaki said matter-of-factly, and Noya glared at his mother.

"Yes, yes, very happy, many blessings upon your households, et cetera," Mizuki said with a teasing roll of her eyes, "but I thought my relationship was the one we're celebrating this weekend?"

"Oh don't tell me the Bridezilla routine is starting already," Asami sighed dramatically.

Mizuki shoved her, Asami shoved back, the children shrieked with laughter, and then Chiaki raised her voice. Noya heaved a sigh of relief that the attention was off of them.

"Fish?" Ryuu offered, holding a dish out to him.

"Yes please," Noya said and added a strip of salmon to his plate. If his mouth was full, his family couldn't ask him about his very real relationship.

He turned his head to smile gratefully up at Ryuu. As soon as he did so, Ryuu leaned in and kissed his forehead like it was the most natural thing in the world before turning back to his own plate of food. Noya sat there stunned for a moment as his heart spasmed in his chest. He suddenly had a thought that, even if they succeeded in keeping up the act this weekend, his heart might just give out in the process.

This was a terrible, terrible idea.

/ / /

"That wasn't so terrible," Ryuu said in a low tone about an hour later, drying one of the bowls Noya had just handed him. After breakfast, Noya had claimed cleanup duty and roped Ryuu into it. It was only fair to help out this way since they'd slept through the meal preparations, but it was also an attempt to get a little breather from his family.

"Yeah," Noya replied, because it was true.

Breakfast had gone well. More than well. Most of the talk centered around Mizuki's wedding and the guest list and the decorations and the caterer and the other things that still had to get done, so Noya and Ryuu were able to fly under the radar. But even so Ryuu still performed spectacularly. He hadn't done anything over the top, just kept to little stuff like squeezing Noya's hand sometimes or feeding him bites of food or looking at him like he really loved him that way. It felt so easy and natural, and Noya loved every second of it while hating himself for taking selfish advantage of the situation.

He shook the thoughts away. It's just for the weekend, he told himself, and continued, "I think if we just distract them with wedding talk anytime they start asking questions we'll make through the weekend in one piece."

"Right," Ryuu said, his brows a little furrowed.

Noya bumped his hip against Ryuu's leg, then looked up to offer a reassuring smile. Ryuu bit his lip and started chuckling, then set down the bowl as he turned to face Noya.

"What?" Noya asked.

"You have suds on your face," Ryuu replied. He leaned his hip against the counter as he reached out toward Noya's face. Noya could do nothing but hold perfectly still as Ryuu's warm, rough hand cupped his cheek and thumbed at the soap on his skin.

In reality, they were standing in the kitchen, dyed golden from the morning sun rising outside with the chatty voices of his family floating through the air.

But in Noya's mind, they were standing in the kitchen as it was three years ago, dimly lit by low party lights with the chatty voices of their friends and the steady thump of music floating through the air.

"Noyaaaa!" he heard Ryuu call. "You in here?"

"Yeah!" Noya called back. "Just getting water."

Ryuu appeared through the kitchen doorway, a familiar and loveable grin stretched wide across his face. The ugly Hawaiian shirt he'd insisted on wearing despite Noya's protests had somehow become half-unbuttoned, exposing his collarbones and the dip between his pecs. Water hit Noya's hand from his cup, now over filling in his distraction.

"Shit," Noya whispered as he turned back to the sink, cheeks burning in a way that had nothing to do with the party. He couldn't even blame his heated face on the drinking, because he'd switched to water and soda a couple hours ago.

Ryuu laughed and reached over to turn the sink off while Noya poured some of the excess water down the drain.

"Thanks," Noya said with a grin, then took a sip of his water. "How's it going out there?"

"Pretty good. The girls' team is outdrinking everyone. Kinoshita's super trashed," Ryuu replied.

"Aw man," Noya groaned, setting his glass down to reach into his pocket and pull out his wallet. Ryuu smiled gleefully as Noya fished out a thousand yen and placed it in his waiting palm. "I thought for sure it was gonna be Shouyou again."

"Nah, Kags and Tadashi stopped him after drink three," Ryuu said, tucking the money into his back pocket. He'd stopped drinking around the same time Noya had. They were cohosting this party, after all, and they couldn't maintain their status as king party-throwers if they were puking in bushes.

Noya sighed dramatically as he leaned back against the counter, mirroring Ryuu, and tipped his head back to smile up at him. Then he closed his eyes and rested his head against Ryuu's shoulder, just absorbing the presence of his best friend and the sounds of their last high school party, trying his best to imprint this feeling into his long-term memory.

"I'm gonna miss this," Noya said.

"Hey, we can still throw parties in Okayama," Ryuu said. "And we'll come back to visit."

"I know, I know," Noya replied. "But it won't be the same."

"We'll be the same," Ryuu said, and then his hand was on Noya's arm, thumb rubbing gently over the skin.

Noya opened his eyes and looked up at Ryuu, his chest aching a bit because that was part of the problem. He didn't want to be the same. Ryuu was his best friend in the whole world, and he wouldn't trade that for anything, except…except he'd been craving something different from their relationship for a long time now.

It wasn't at all like Noya to be reserved in his feelings or to hold back. Usually when he had a crush he came right out and said it—no holds barred, let the chips fall where they may. But usually the said crush wasn't on his best friend. Noya just couldn't find it in himself to risk Ryuu's friendship, and so he'd said nothing for years.

But now everything was ending. And while he and Ryuu will still be together in a brand new apartment in a brand new city, Noya will still be sitting on these same old feelings. It gave him an itchy, restless feeling like whenever he was faced with a new challenge in volleyball. He wouldn't be able to rest until this current chapter of his life was fully closed. He needed some sort of closure, he needed to at least know, he needed—

"Oh, hold still," Ryuu said, shifting closer.

Noya's breath caught in his throat as Ryuu leaned over, hand lifting up to cup his cheek and swipe his thumb over the skin. His hand was large, and rough, and warm, and Noya tilted his face into the touch without really meaning to, but then the moment passed and Ryuu pulled his hand away. He held his thumb up in front of Noya's face.

"Eyelash," Ryuu said with a soft smile. "Make a wish."

Noya could only think of one thing to wish for.

Adrenaline pounded its way through his veins as he knocked Ryuu's hand out of the way and surged up to his toes, dragging Ryuu down by his shirt collar to clumsily smash their mouths together. Ryuu let out a surprised little noise at the suddenness, and it was enough to break through Noya's brief bout of determination. He released Ryuu immediately and rocked back onto his heels, eyes trained on the floor so he wouldn't have to see whatever look was on Ryuu's face.

"Shit," Noya whispered, heart thrumming with anxiety and regret. "Shit, I'm sorry, I…"

He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. Who kissed someone without asking like that? Who kissed their best friend like that? Stupid, stupid, stupid. The worst part was that his head was so clouded over with nerves that he hadn't even taken the time to memorize the feel of Ryuu's lips on his. That was his one chance and he'd wasted it, and now—

Now Ryuu was reaching for Noya's face and pulling him up into another kiss. Noya could hardly breathe around his heart now lodged in his throat, but he pushed past it and locked his hands around the back of Ryuu's neck as he returned the kiss with enthusiasm.

Ryuu's lips moved eagerly against his, and they were plump and spit-slick as Noya slipped his tongue past them. Every nerve in his body was alive and on fire wherever Ryuu was touching him—his cheek, his mouth, his waist where Ryuu had now slid an arm to draw him closer—and he was doing his best to drink it all in, but he was like a single man drowning in a rainstorm.

A loud pop sounded from the living room as the partygoers opened yet another bottle of champagne, and Noya and Ryuu sprang apart from each other like fifteen year olds caught under the bleachers. They were both breathing heavily, pupils blown wide, and the itchy feeling Noya had moments earlier was back and stronger than ever.

"Ryuu—"

"Noya—"

They cut themselves off, having started speaking at the same time. Doubt and insecurity like Noya had never felt before raced through his veins and began to chill his fiery heart. Was that it? Did Ryuu have his fill? Was one experimental mini-makeout all Noya was ever going to experience with him?

But then Ryuu licked his lips, gaze flickering down to Noya's mouth before landing back up on his eyes, and Noya strengthened his resolve. He clenched his jaw and crossed the space between them in two steps. He reached up right as Ryuu reached down, and when they met in the middle Ryuu made another little surprised noise, like he too couldn't believe this was happening.

Their third kiss—third!—was less desperate and rushed than before, but still full of urgency and knee-buckling desire. And Noya would be damned if he didn't try for a fourth. But maybe not in his kitchen in the middle of a party.

"Follow me," Noya whispered in his ear.

Ryuu's hands squeezed his hips. "Anywhere," he replied throatily.

Noya felt his heart kick in his chest, and he quickly turned on his heel to leave the kitchen and head for the stairs. With Ryuu's hand in his, fingers entangled tightly, he wasn't entirely sure this wasn't a dream, but if it was he was sure as hell gonna make it last as long as possible.

"Oh, hey guys," Ennoshita said, appearing suddenly by the stairwell right as they were about to make their escape.

"Chikara!" Noya exclaimed, tucking the hand holding Ryuu's behind his back so Ennoshita wouldn't see because there was no way he was letting go of it now.

"Kinoshita threw up and is now asleep in the bathroom," Ennoshita said conversationally, as if he were just relaying the weather. "Just so you know."

"Poor guy," Ryuu said, and there was an edge to his voice that let Noya know he was just as impatient to end this conversation as Noya was. It sent a thrill up his spine.

"Mhm," Ennoshita said, though his voice lacked any sympathy. He glanced down at Noya's foot where it rested on the first stair. "Going upstairs?"

"Yeah!" Noya answered. "Yeah, I…have more chips upstairs. In my room."

Ennoshita raised his eyebrows. "In your room?"

"Uh-huh. Secret stash, you know? Too lazy to go downstairs for chips and all," Noya said quickly. "Ryuu's coming with me. To my room. To help get the, uh, chips. From my room."

"Makes sense," Ennoshita said neutrally, nodding, but Noya knew the look in Ennoshita's eyes. It was one he'd seen very often in the three years they'd known each other, one that said I Do Not Trust You. But he didn't have time to worry about that now.

"Anyway, um, bye!" Noya exclaimed, then he and Ryuu rushed upstairs.

Noya's heart thudded heavily in his chest as he closed his bedroom door. It cut the noise of the party in half, and suddenly they were very, very alone, and everything felt heavier and more real than it did downstairs. He almost didn't want to turn around, to face Ryuu and what they'd done and what he'd implied by dragging Ryuu up here. He didn't even know what he'd meant to accomplish with their escape. Did he want to kiss more? To talk? To…to hook up?

He twitched in his pants, and he swallowed down the weight of desire that had formed a lump in his throat, because yes he wanted that—he wanted that very badly, had wanted it for years, but—but what did Ryuu want?

Panic and doubt started to stab at him, unfamiliar feelings that almost frightened him more than the situation at hand, but then he felt Ryuu's hands on his shoulders.

Ryuu pressed gently, and Noya allowed himself to be turned around. Heart jangling around in the cage of his chest, he looked up into Ryuu's eyes. Even in the dark moonlit space of his bedroom, he could see the warmth in Ryuu's gaze. He's always thought Ryuu's eyes were one of his best features. There were many good features to choose from—Ryuu was a beautiful specimen of a man after all—but there was something about his eyes that Noya just adored. He loved the way they could cut right through you, and the way they lit up with joy, and the way they were looking at Noya right now as Ryuu cupped one hand over Noya's cheek and tilted his head up.

"Noya," Ryuu whispered, and then all of Noya's nerves were gone.

In tandem, they pulled each other in and met in another heated kiss. Noya hooked his fingers around Ryuu's jaw as Ryuu's other arm snaked around his waist. Ryuu stepped closer and in doing so jostled Noya backward so he hit the door. Noya gasped in surprise, and suddenly Ryuu's tongue was sliding against his own and he let out an involuntary moan.

Ryuu stilled for a moment, and Noya's fingers tightened their hold, wishing with all his might that he hadn't just ruined the moment, that he hadn't taken it too far, that Ryuu wouldn't—

But then Ryuu moved again, gripping Noya with an even greater fervor than before as he slotted a leg between Noya's shaking thighs. They both moaned then, and just like that the fire and desperation from earlier in the kitchen was back.

Noya kissed Ryuu with everything he had, worrying with every kiss it might be the last, that Ryuu might cut him off at any second. But that fear was slowly dissipating with each touch of their lips, because each time they kissed Ryuu was making little gasps and noises like he was in a constant state of shock and awe, like he too couldn't quite believe this was happening.

"N-Noya," Ryuu wheezed as Noya's thumbs pressed circles into Ryuu's hipbones. "Can we—b…bed?"

That one single word sent heat straight through Noya's core, the likes of which he'd never felt before. He curled his hands in the fabric of Ryuu's shirt and pressed his lips to Ryuu's ear, whispering, "Fuck yeah."

"Fuck, Noya," Ryuu moaned, and they attempted to extricate themselves away from the door to stumble toward the bed. "Noya…"

"Noya?" Ryuu said softly—here, now, in the present—and Noya inhaled sharply.

His hand was still on Noya's face, still cupping Noya's cheek, still looking at Noya just like he had that night, with affection and curiosity and more than a little apprehension, and Noya—he wanted—he had to—he—

"Found a couple more—oh!" exclaimed Noya's mom as she came into the kitchen.

Ryuu dropped his hand and immediately stepped away from Noya, and Noya plastered a fake smile on his face as he turned to look at his mother. Chiaki just chuckled, moving between them to set a couple bowls in the sink for them to wash.

"Don't mind me, didn't mean to interrupt," she said, sounding far too pleased at having discovered them looking like…

Like we were about to kiss, Noya thought and repressed a shudder of want.

"Just found a couple more dishes in your grandfather's room. We'll be heading out to the venue once everything's cleaned up, alright?"

"Sounds good, Kaa-san," Noya replied.

She smiled and patted him on the cheek, then squeezed each of their shoulders before departing the kitchen. The room felt smaller than it had previously, but maybe that was just Noya feeling self-conscious. He imagined he could still feel the warmth of Ryuu's hand on his cheek, but when he turned to look up at Ryuu, there was no hint on his friend's face that anything unusual had passed between them.

"Hand me another bowl?" Ryuu asked.

"Oh, uh, sure," he said, and quickly rinsed the suds off of a bowl and then handed it to Ryuu to dry.

Just a couple days, Noya told himself. You can last a couple of days.

/ / /

"Shut the fuck up," Noya said with a laugh. "You did not."

"I did, I really did!" Mizuki insisted. "So then she walks in, and I'm just standing there holding the spaghetti in my hands—"

"No," Asami said, aghast, and held her hand over her mouth.

"And then what happened?" Hiru asked.

"Okay, well—"

"What'd I miss?" Ryuu asked, coming back with two cups of water in his hands.

"Ah, thanks babe," Noya said as Ryuu handed him one of the two cups . Ryuu flushed red, and Noya allowed himself a small pleased smile.

"Anyway, the spaghetti's in my hands, right? The dog's going crazy, she's standing there staring at me—"

"Wait, wait, you have to start over!" Hiru exclaimed. "Ryuu didn't hear the beginning!"

The group groaned as Mizuki enthusiastically started the hilarious but lengthy story over again. Noya tuned it out as he set his cup down and shuffled over to make room for Ryuu to sit next to him again on the lawn bench, then he settled himself against Ryuu's chest. Ryuu's arm came to rest around his shoulders, and Noya let his eyes slip shut to just enjoy the feeling.

The sun was setting, casting long shadows over everything in sight and painting the sky in vivid colors. It had been a long and exhausting day, but rewarding in its own right. Most of the time, wedding receptions were held in hotel banquet rooms or wedding halls, but Yume's family owned a farm outside of town. Fortunately, they had offered the place free of charge for the celebrations. Unfortunately, it meant a lot of DIY.

But between all the decorating and preparing and rehearsing and running around doing last minute tasks, they'd managed to get everything done, and Noya and Ryuu's secret was still safe. All day Noya had the double duty of helping with wedding prep while also keeping an eye on Ryuu to make sure his family didn't corner him and hold him hostage with questions about their relationship that Ryuu didn't have the answers to. He'd been constantly on edge, watching Ryuu out the corner of his eye and fending off his prying family when necessary, and now he was exhausted.

It was work worth doing, though, as Noya had been able to ogle Ryuu all day, and nobody could make too much fun of him for it since Ryuu was—as far as they knew—his super hot boyfriend and it was his right to stare as much as he wanted. A smile touched his lips as he remembered when Ryuu was helping carry stacks of chairs into the barn and Noya had been able to see Ryuu's arm muscles flex and his shirt ride up.

Now they were back at the Nishinoya home and relaxing in the backyard. Noya's dad had fired up the grill, and Ryuu helped him make dinner for everyone. Noya gave his niece and nephew piggy back rides until he was certain his sides would be bruised in the morning from the way Takashi kept kicking him like he was a horse. Once the kids were put to bed, drinks were poured all around as they traded stories and reveled in being all together for once.

And, best of all, Noya and Ryuu acted like they were together—trading winks and touches, standing with their arms around each other, throwing flirty glances across the room. At one point Noya had even felt daring enough to give a quick squeeze to Ryuu's butt, and Ryuu had later planted a kiss on Noya's cheek. It was all for show, he knew, but it was fun, even if it was also a painful reminder of what he could never truly have.

Still, it was nice to indulge, and nicer to have the alcohol as an excuse if he did anything that could possibly give away his true feelings even though he really hadn't drank all that much and switched to water an hour ago. He didn't want to be hungover for the wedding itself; that was what Sunday was for.

"…ven't seen him this peaceful since he was a baby," Hiru said.

Something in the tone of his sister's voice made him open his eyes and turn suspiciously toward her. Sure enough, she'd pulled her phone out and had it pointed at him and Ryuu. He glared and flipped off the camera, and she took the photo anyway.

"Real charming," Asami said dryly, taking another swig of her wine.

Noya ignored her to tuck himself against Ryuu once again. He must've dozed off a bit, missing the end of Mizuki's spaghetti story, but it was worth it to have an excuse to cuddle up to Ryuu like this. His nose brushed over Ryuu's collarbone as he nestled his head again, and he sighed happily. Ryuu's arm squeezed lightly around his shoulders, thumb rubbing soothing circles into his skin.

He decided this was maybe the happiest he's ever been: relaxing in Ryuu's arms while the sun sets, surrounded by almost all of his favorite people. It was peaceful in a way he hadn't known in a while, and he kind of wished it would never end.

"Okay, I can't stand it anymore," his mother announced suddenly. "Will you please tell us how you got together?"

Noya groaned, all his feelings of peace gone. "Is it even really that big a deal?"

"Uh, yeah!" Hiru exclaimed.

"We've only been waiting for it for like five years at least," Asami replied.

Noya felt his face go red, and he stiffened. Ryuu's thumb stopped moving.

"You've known each other since high school, right?" Yume asked. "Was it love at first sight?"

"Obviously," Noya said right as Ryuu snorted derisively. Noya sat up and whipped his head around to glare at Ryuu as his family snickered. "What?!"

"I couldn't stand you for like the first month," Ryuu replied with a grin. "You didn't know?"

"No!" Noya exclaimed. "What did I do to piss you off?!"

"You showed up late!"

"Yuu!" his mother scolded.

"I got lost!" Noya defended, then rounded on Ryuu again. "And so what?"

"Alright, alright, picture this," Ryuu said, talking to the family now. "It's the first day of high school, first day of volleyball. We're all nervous, trying to impress this demon of a coach so he'll let us on the team. Then the doors burst open and this guy—" Ryuu jabbed a finger into Noya's cheek. "—waltzes in like he owns the damn place looking like a short little punk. So the coach asks, 'Why should I bother with someone who can't even show up on time?' And he goes, 'Because I'm—'"

"—Nishinoya Yuu, and I'm gonna be the best damn libero this school's ever seen," Noya finished, the memory coming to him like it was fresh.

"Nice one, kid," Noya's grandfather said appreciatively while the others laughed.

"Okay, okay, I admit it was dramatic," Noya said, "but I still don't see why you'd hate me for that?!"

Ryuu rolled his eyes. "Oh, man, you were so cocky! I wanted nothing more than to knock you down a peg, make you see that you weren't actually hot shit."

"Then what happened?" Yume asked eagerly.

"Then it turned out I actually was hot shit," Noya said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Pretty much," Ryuu replied.

Noya threw his head back and laughed triumphantly as the family rolled their eyes and chuckled too. But when Noya looked back at Ryuu, he saw the expression on his face had shifted from derision and annoyance to one of softness and appreciation. His laughter trailed off as his stomach tightened, struck by the focus of Ryuu's gaze.

"We clicked on the court pretty much immediately, and it was clear from the start how talented he really was," Ryuu continued, still looking at Noya. "That just pissed me off more at first, but…then I realized he had more than just natural talent. He had a true passion for the game and pride in his position. He demanded a lot from us but even more from himself, and he never let any of us get away with just skating by. He really believed in us as a team, and it inspired everyone, especially me, and uh…" He chuckled a little as if embarrassed. "The rest is history, I guess."

Noya stared at him, spellbound. He'd never known any of this. How could he not have known this?

"So it was only love at first sight for Yuu, then," Hiru said.

"Wha—nuh-uh!" Noya protested, face flushing as he turned to glare at his sister.

"Oh yes," his mother said, smiling. "I remember you came home from that first day of volleyball. You told me you made the team, and I asked if the team was nice. You said that there was a boy with bleached hair and a scary smile who growled at you. I was concerned, I thought he might be a bully, but then you declared that he was going to be your best friend."

Hiru, Mizuki, and Yume squealed as Asami, Sato, his father, and grandfather laughed heartily. Noya groaned and put his face in his hands, his cheeks burning.

"Aw, babe," Ryuu said teasingly, putting an arm around Noya's waist and squeezing.

"Well—I was right, wasn't I?" Noya said.

Ryuu nodded and ducked close, kissing Noya quickly on the cheek. Noya sucked in a breath, heart kicking up a storm in his chest.

"So how did you finally get together?" Yume asked.

"Ah, that—well—it's boring, really," Noya said, hoping they'd just drop it. "You don't wanna hear—"

"Come on, you've been dodging all day," Asami said.

"Yeah!" Mizuki added. "You've gotta give us something."

Noya pursed his lips, mind racing. With the countless wedding preparations keeping them busy all day, he and Ryuu hadn't had any time to sit down and come up with a story. He was honestly hoping it just wouldn't come up, that they'd be distracted enough by Mizuki and Yume's wedding that they would forget to pry, but he should've known better.

"I—it's—" he stammered, drawing a blank as he tried to come up with something—anything that would sate them.

"It was a few months ago," Ryuu said suddenly, and Noya turned toward him. "It's hard to put a timeline on it, really, cause sometimes it feels like we've been dating for years. I guess that's what comes from being so close for so long, but…but a few months ago was our first kiss."

Noya's heart was in his throat. Ryuu's arm was still around him, fingertips pressed into his hip, and Noya felt them like little pinpricks of electricity, jolting his pulse into an elevated rhythm. Ryuu wasn't looking at him, head tilted down as he stared at his knees, but Noya couldn't look away.

"Noy—um, Yuu kissed me first. It kinda came out of nowhere," he said with a chuckle, "but also felt like a long time coming. It was fast, and I think he surprised himself with it. Then I could tell he started panicking, so I did the only thing I could think to do which was kiss him again."

Ryuu was recounting that night, Noya realized, that night three years ago in the kitchen of this very house. They've never…they've never talked about that night. Ryuu had asked him to forget about it, and for three years now Noya was acting like he did, assuming that Ryuu had never given that night a second thought…but now he was recounting it like it was yesterday.

"I think neither of us could really believe it was happening," Ryuu continued. "After the shock wore off, though, we talked it out. It was hard, admitting all my feelings after years of keeping them secret, but…he's worth it."

Noya couldn't breathe, and then Ryuu looked up to meet his eyes and he forgot that he needed to.

"He's the best person I've ever known. He challenges me, understands me, makes me try new things. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone, and there's no one I'd rather be with. I—I—" Ryuu stopped himself, face flushing a dark red.

"Ryuu," Noya whispered. He felt a squeeze around his fingers, and he belatedly realized that he and Ryuu had grabbed each other's hands at some point.

Ryuu was looking at him openly, a little apprehensively, and Noya felt more drawn to him than ever. In fact, it wasn't just a feeling. They were really leaning in toward each other, and then Ryuu's gaze dropped down to his mouth and Noya's whole body burned with anticipation as the distance between them dwindled.

When their lips met in a gentle kiss, Noya's brainwaves turned to static. He couldn't think, he couldn't process, he could only feel, and what he felt was a wave of emotion so intense it threatened to drown him. Love, grief, regret, longing—they all swept him up in a whirlpool of confusion, but even so all he wanted was more.

He'd just begun to move his mouth against Ryuu's when someone let out a low whistle, and they jerked away from each other. Noya's family had been silent throughout the whole story, just as entranced as Noya had been, but the result was that Noya had forgotten they were there in the first place.

Ryuu let go of Noya's hand and looked away, rubbing his hand over the back of his head and laughing awkwardly. "A-anyway, that uh…that sums it up."

Shit, Noya thought, lips tingling.

"Oh, that's so sweet," Hiru said, then turned toward her husband Sato. "Why don't you tell me things like that anymore?"

"What?!" he yelped. "I—you—"

She laughed and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. "I'm kidding."

"Gosh, I still can't believe you guys took so long to figure it out," Asami said.

"Yeah, we all knew from like your second year," Hiru added.

Noya tensed. This was dangerous territory, looming too close to what could expose him, and he couldn't risk that, not before he could talk to Ryuu about what the fuck had just happened between them.

"Sure, sure, let's move on, yeah?" Noya said nervously. "What new shows have—"

"Oh, oh!" Mizuki exclaimed. "Remember that note I found where he practiced writing 'Tanaka Yuu' and 'Nishinoya Ryuunosuke'?"

"That's so cute," Yume said, clasping her hands together.

"You what?" Ryuu asked, eyes wide.

"I—that—it was one time!" Noya growled. One time, one stupid time. "Tsukki made—he said some stupid thing about us acting like an old married couple and I—it wasn't like I was serious!"

Everyone was laughing, and Ryuu was staring at him with some weird expression, and his ears were burning, and fuck Tsukishima for making that stupid joke. He'd already realized his crush on Ryuu by that point, and he hadn't been able to get the idea out of his head. So he pulled out a piece of paper just to see what the kanji looked like together and which combination was better. But of course Mizuki had been staying with them at the time and spied the crumpled note in his trashcan while she'd been helping him with homework, and of course she's never let him live it down.

"So cute," Hiru cooed.

"I will smother you in your sleep," he snapped.

"Okay, leave your brother alone," their mother intervened. "Monkey, we're just happy for the two of you."

Noya slumped back against the bench—against Ryuu, which was the last place he wanted to be at the moment, but he still had to act like they were really together. His skin itched, and he wanted to scream, but he settled for biting the inside of his cheek instead. Ryuu's arm was still around his waist, but it felt stiff and uninviting now, not like earlier when Noya felt like he could've stayed in his arms all night.

"And speaking of happy couples," Chiaki continued, "we have a wedding tomorrow. I think it's time everyone gets to bed. And remember the kids are sleeping, so be quiet."

Noya leapt up from the bench as quickly as he could. Yume, Mizuki, and Asami all said their goodbyes as they left, and Noya took the opportunity to help his parents clean up from their little party. Anything he could do to avoid looking at Ryuu, to avoid whatever questions would come that he didn't want to answer, which was why he'd instantly agreed when his mother asked him to help her wash the dishes.

"Do you need any help?" Ryuu asked, standing just outside the kitchen.

"I think we've got it, dear, you just go relax and I'll send Yuu upstairs when we're done," Chiaki told him with a warm smile.

"Okay," he said, then offered an awkward little half-wave before disappearing out of sight.

Noya swallowed heavily and turned his focus back to the plate in his hands. They worked in silence for a few minutes, Noya scrubbing while his mother dried, and the rhythm of it calmed his frayed nerves. The presence of his mother helped with that too, standing beside him and humming something under her breath just like she always did. It reminded him of when he was younger and didn't have to worry about things like unrequited crushes and fake relationships.

"How are you doing, Yuu? We haven't had time to catch up yet," she said, breaking the comfortable silence.

"I'm good, Kaa-san," he replied honestly.

"Classes are going well?"

"Yes."

"You're eating properly?"

"Yes."

"Do you need any money?"

"No."

She chuckled. "Young people always need money. I'll send you home with a little something."

"Kaa-san, you don't—"

"And you and Ryuunosuke seem to be doing well," she interrupted with a sly smile.

Noya blushed, remembering the kiss in front of everyone. "Y-yeah. We're…we're good."

"It really is wonderful to see the two of you together finally," Chiaki said.

"The amount of times I've heard that this weekend," Noya grumbled good-naturedly even as his heart hurt.

"Well it's true!" she exclaimed. "We've only had to watch you be silently in love with each other all this time."

Noya's gut wrenched at her words. He knew she meant them well, but she didn't know the truth. She didn't know it was actually just one-sided pining on Noya's part, that it was still one-sided pining. Guilt roiled in his stomach, and he tasted bitterness on his tongue. He didn't like lying in general, but he really didn't like lying to his mother.

"I know that relationships aren't necessary for a good life," Chiaki continued, distracting him. "The gods know Asami has proven that to me. But still…I like knowing that there's someone there for you when I'm not. I like knowing my babies are taken care of. He does take care of you, right?"

"Yeah," Noya answered, thinking of their apartment and their life together over the past few years.

He thought about Ryuu's cooking, and how Ryuu will pretend to accidentally make more food than necessary right before Noya has a string of late nights, just so Noya has something easy to heat up. He thought about the times he's fallen asleep on the couch only to wake up in his own bed, knowing that Ryuu must've carried him there and set his alarms for him. He thought about shoulder rubs and movie nights and late night heart-to-hearts.

"Yeah, he takes care of me," Noya said softly, and then he thought about doing their shared laundry loads and washing Ryuu's dishes and leaving encouraging notes where he knows Ryuu will find them. "We take care of each other."

"That's all I can hope for," Chiaki replied, and she reached up to lovingly squeeze his arm. "I have to admit, I was a little worried about you two at first."

"W-what?" he asked, a chill spreading through him. Had she figured out that they were lying? Was this her way of drawing it out of him, his final chance to tell her the truth before she confronted him about it?

"You were a bit awkward around each other," she continued. "Stiff, uncomfortable. I'm sure it was just nerves from so much family and so much going on, and I suppose it is technically a new relationship even if you've known each other for years. But then I saw how he looked at you tonight, and I knew you were going to be just fine."

"H…how was he looking at me?" Noya asked, heart thrumming in his chest.

Chiaki smiled. "Like you're his home."

"Oh," he said, and swallowed, then looked down at the cup in his hands and scrubbed at a nonexistent smudge.

"That boy really loves you," she added happily. "It warms my old heart."

Noya took in a shuddering breath. He didn't want to believe her. He wanted to protect his heart and tell himself she was wrong, that she didn't know the whole truth, that it only looked that way to her because of the lie and their stellar acting. But earlier, out in the yard, it hadn't felt like a lie. Ryuu had sounded like he was speaking from the heart, but…that couldn't be right.

Could it?

Maybe…maybe Ryuu's feelings had changed since that night. Maybe he hadn't been ready in high school, but he was ready now. Maybe he just wasn't sure how to bring it up and was waiting for Noya to make the first move like he had back at their graduation party.

There was only one way to find out.

Noya and his mother finished washing the dishes a few minutes later, and then he walked with her upstairs. She hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then he went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth and try to steady his racing heart.

When he walked into his room, Ryuu was still awake, but he was lying on the floor. He must've found some extra blankets, because he'd made up a makeshift bed on the floor complete with one of Noya's pillows. He glanced up when Noya entered, and Noya's stomach felt hollow.

"Hey," Ryuu said softly, setting down his phone.

"Hey," he answered, but no other words came to his mouth. He couldn't even move, frozen in the doorway with dread turning his previously racing heart to stone.

"I…thought it might be better if I slept down here," Ryuu said and glanced away.

Noya managed a nod even though it was useless since Ryuu wasn't looking at him. His throat still wasn't working.

"So d'you think they bought it?" Ryuu asked. "I thought it was convincing."

Ryuu sounded stiff, uncomfortable, and Noya realized he was the reason for Ryuu's discomfort. Daggers filled his lungs as his heart splintered and shattered. He was glad Ryuu wasn't looking at him anymore, because then he would've seen the tears that Noya was now trying to blink away.

"Y…yeah," Noya managed. "Convincing."

He forced his body to move, crossing to his bag to pull out his sleeping clothes and change as quickly as he could even though his joints felt rusted over.

Nothing is different, he told himself. And on paper, nothing was. They were still friends, they were still pretending to date for the weekend, and Noya hadn't confessed anything stupid to him. But the hollowness in Noya's chest certainly felt different, bigger, all-consuming.

He shut the lights off and went to his bed. A lingering trace of Ryuu's scent from that morning drifted around him, and he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes to stave off even more threatening tears. His bed, his good old familiar bed, felt empty and strange now without Ryuu in it.

"Well, goodnight," Ryuu said, and it was probably Noya's imagination but it sounded like he was kilometers away.

"Night," Noya replied, but it was a long time before his body fell into a fitful sleep.

/ / /

"Can I?" Noya whispered, tugging at Ryuu's shirt, which was already half-unbuttoned from earlier.

"Please," Ryuu replied, and he pulled away enough to let Noya make quick work of the rest of the buttons, then abandoned it over the side of the bed.

Once it was gone, Ryuu didn't pause before diving back down toward Noya's mouth, kissing him with a dizzying eagerness. Noya let Ryuu take control of the kiss, happy to let his attentions focus on his hands as they drifted up and down Ryuu's broad back. He could feel the muscles tense and flex as Ryuu shifted around on top of him, touch the bumps of Ryuu's spine, feel the hills and valleys of his ribcage, and he only wanted more.

/ \

[FFN doesn't allow explicit works. If you're over 18 you can read the full scene on my AO3.]

/ \

Bzzt, bzzt, bzzt—

"That your phone?" Noya asked, glancing at the floor where the buzzing was coming from.

"Ignore it," Ryuu said breathily.

Noya grinned. "Fine by me."

On the floor, Ryuu's phone went silent for a moment only to immediately start buzzing again. Noya chuckled as Ryuu groaned.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who wants you tonight," Noya murmured, and he drew his hand up to tease at the waistband of Ryuu's boxers.

Ryuu's stomach jumped under his fingers. "Fuck," he whispered, not concerned about the phone at all. His lower lip was caught in his teeth, swollen and red from all their kissing.

"Can I?" Noya asked.

"Please, please," Ryuu mumbled, and he raised one trembling hand to his mouth while the other gripped Noya's knee.

The phone started buzzing again.

"Fucking hell," Ryuu swore, and Noya snorted.

"They're pretty insistent."

"'s prolly just Ennoshita," Ryuu mumbled.

"And if it's not?" Noya asked.

"I only care about you right now."

Noya's breath caught in his throat, and he raised his eyes from the task literally at hand to meet Ryuu's gaze. Ryuu watched him intently, like Noya really was the only thing that mattered. He reached out, cupping Noya's cheek, and Noya stretched forward to kiss him.

Bzzt, bzzt, bzzt—

Ryuu broke the kiss with an exasperated groan. "Fuck, will you just—"

"Yeah, I got it." Noya hastily wiped his hand on his shorts and stretched off the edge of the bed to snag Ryuu's jeans with his fingers. He quickly fished the phone out and handed it to Ryuu, then straddled him once more.

"Shit," Ryuu gasped, fumbling with the phone right as the buzzing stopped. "Should shut it off."

"Who is it?" Noya asked. He bent over to mouth along Ryuu's stomach, briefly dipping his tongue in Ryuu's belly button.

Ryuu had to exhale shakily before answering. "Just Saeko, I—" It started buzzing again, and he answered it this time, barking out a harsh, "What?!"

"Fucking finally!" Saeko shouted, and Noya could tell something was really wrong. It sounded like she was…crying?

He sat up and let go of Ryuu, hands settling on his own thighs as he watched Ryuu's face go taut and pale. Saeko's voice was warbly and distorted through the phone speaker, and he couldn't make out much, but he did catch "car" and "dad" and "hurt." It was enough to make his body go cold with dread.

"What?" Ryuu croaked, and suddenly he was shooting upright and Noya was scrambling out of his lap to avoid being thrown off in Ryuu's haste. "Wh-what? How—where—"

Ryuu clambered off the bed and started stumbling around trying to gather his clothes. With his phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder, he tripped into his boxers and then was attempting to navigate his jeans. Noya still didn't know what was happening, but he found his shirt and pulled it on before grabbing Ryuu's.

"Yeah, I'll—I'll get there as fast as I can," Ryuu said, and then hung up. Once the conversation was over, Ryuu was frozen for a moment, feet still caught in his pants with the waistband around his thighs. He looked shellshocked.

"Ryuu?" Noya asked, nervously squeezing the shirt in his hands.

"M…my—it's my dad," Ryuu said hoarsely. "He got in a c-car accident, he's—he's really hurt, they t-took him to the hospital, and—"

Noya dropped the shirt and stepped forward, grabbing Ryuu's hands, which shook violently in Noya's grasp. Ryuu's whole body was shuddering with the shock of the news he'd just gotten. Noya's mind couldn't help but jump to what Ryuu had told him about his mom, how she'd died in a car accident when Ryuu was a little kid. Ryuu was probably thinking the same, his face going taut and eyes focusing on something not there.

"N-Noya, he—I can't—not—" Ryuu was gasping, barely breathing.

"Hey, hey," Noya said in a low tone, and he placed one of Ryuu's hands on his chest, right over Noya's heart, and squeezed it. "I've got you. It's okay. Take a deep breath. I'm right here. Where are we?"

"Wha—"

"Ryuu, listen, where are we?"

"Y-your house."

Noya nodded. "Yes, good. And what day is it?"

"Fri…Friday."

"Good, good. You're doing great," Noya encouraged. "Remember to breathe. What's my position?"

Ryuu swallowed, eyes sliding closed, and attempted to draw in even breaths. "Libero."

"That's right," Noya said. He continued to ask grounding questions and murmur soft encouragements to him, holding his hands tight, watching as the panic attack slowly faded and Ryuu's shoulders untensed.

"Better?" Noya asked when Ryuu was no longer struggling to breathe, though his breaths still sounded ragged.

"Better," Ryuu confirmed, voice rough, but when he met Noya's gaze his expression was miserable. "I've gotta go."

"I know," Noya said. "I'm coming with."

/ / /

Noya woke with a start to the sound of a fist pounding on his door.

"Yuu! You'd better be awake in there!" his mother shouted. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes!"

He lurched to the side, snatching his phone off the bedside table, and he realized he must've forgotten to set his alarms last night. But Ryuu should've—

Ryuu.

Noya looked at the floor and saw a pile of neatly folded blankets sitting beside his other pillow, and Ryuu was nowhere in sight. He didn't know when Ryuu had woken up, but annoyance flooded through him at the fact that he'd been abandoned like this. Then he remembered all the events of last night, and he dropped back against the mattress and groaned.

But he didn't have time to wallow in misery. He had a wedding to get ready for.

He launched himself out of bed and hurried across the hall to the bathroom.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Hiru snapped, then blinked when she recognized him. "Oh, Yuu."

Noya froze in the doorway. His sister had a foot up on the bathroom counter, dress bunched around her hips, with a syringe in her hand aimed at her leg.

"Shit, sorry—" he started.

"It's fine," she said. "Actually, do you mind helping?"

Noya shuddered instantly. Hiru had only gotten him to help with her estrogen shot once several years ago. Needles didn't typically bother him—he had like eight piercings and got a flu shot every fall—but having to stab his sister with one was different. Usually her husband assisted her, but he guessed that Sato was running around helping elsewhere.

She sighed heavily. "That's what I thought."

Without another word, she took a deep breath and then stabbed the needle into her thigh. With practiced efficiency, she pressed the plunger, then removed the needle and covered it with a plastic tip. She grabbed a prepared band-aid off the counter and put it over the injection site, squeezing and rubbing her thigh a little as she did so. A small sharps container also sat on the counter, which she deposited the needle into after taking it off the syringe. Then she put the syringe back into a little case along with the hormone bottle.

"And done," she said, pulling her leg down and smoothing her dress out.

Noya shuddered. "I still don't know how you stand it."

"A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do," she replied, then plucked a lipstick out of her makeup bag. "Anyway, good morning to you too, sleepyhead."

He suddenly remembered that he was under a time crunch and rushed forward to enter the bathroom fully. He hip-checked her so she'd take a step to the side and give him access to the sink, then turned the water on and splashed his face.

"Did you and Ryuu stay up too late?" Her tone was suggestive and playful, but he just glowered.

"Why didn't any of you wake me earlier?" he asked, patting his face dry with a towel.

"We've been running around trying to get ourselves ready," she replied. "I'm surprised you didn't wake up from all the noise. Sakiko almost had a meltdown when we tried getting her into her dress."

"Poor kid," Noya said, then reached for his hair gel. "Did you get it on?"

"Ryuu did," she said. "He's watching her and Takashi right now. He's so good with them, it's fucking adorable. That's probably why he didn't come get you before Kaa-san did."

That and he probably doesn't want to see me right now, Noya thought bitterly, spiking his hair with more aggression than usual.

"Although now that I'm thinking about it, we should've just set the kids loose on you," she mused, capping the lipstick. "That would've woken you up for sure."

He snorted. "Nothing like a tiny knee to the balls to get you up and going."

She sighed heavily. "Tell me about it." They shared a laugh, and then she grabbed up all her items from the bathroom counter. "I'll see you down there."

"Will you find my suit? Tou-san took it somewhere when we got here."

"Yeah, I've got you," she said, then kissed his temple and departed.

Noya turned to look at himself in the mirror and scowled at his exhausted and pallid appearance, then scowled even harder when the bathroom clock told him he had less than ten minutes to get ready. He couldn't believe Ryuu had let him sleep this late, that nobody had woken him earlier, that—that—

He took a deep breath and sighed, forcing his shoulders to relax. Yes he was upset, and rightfully so, but he needed to calm down. This was Mizuki's wedding day, a happy occasion, and he was here surrounded by his loving family. And yeah things were really, really weird with him and Ryuu right now, but everything would be okay.

It had to be.

Hiru came back with his suit and, with a little help from her makeup bag, they managed to get him looking presentable in five minutes flat. They were done just in time for their mom to start yelling again, and they exchanged grins before heading downstairs.

Ryuu was sitting at the chabudai with Sakiko and Takashi looking like the picture of domesticity. Takashi sat beside Ryuu, jabbing a finger excitedly at the manga spread out before them. Noya recognized the panels and knew that Ryuu was already familiar with the story, but Ryuu still listened intently as the five year old explained the plot. The pointer finger of one hand was clutched by Sakiko, who was using it to balance as she stood on Ryuu's thigh. Her other hand was slapping repeatedly over his smooth head, evidently fascinated. Ryuu even has his head bent obligingly so she could reach better.

"Oh how precious," Hiru whispered from the doorway. She took a few photos, and Noya wondered when she'd even pulled out her phone, but he supposed being able to snap a photo at the drop of a hat was another Mom Power he knew nothing about.

"Hey, kids, you ready to go?" she asked, stepping forward.

"Mama!" Sakiko babbled, and she turned so quickly in her excitement that her little feet slipped off Ryuu's thigh. He caught her easily with the hand that had been hovering at her back while she was standing, and he scooped her into his arms to a chorus of giggles.

Noya's heart ached at the sight.

"Hi sweet girl," Hiru said. She walked over and Ryuu passed Sakiko into her mother's arms, and then Takashi sprang to his feet.

"Yuu-oji!" he exclaimed, running over to Noya. "Did you know Ryuu-oji has seen all of Naruto?! And I asked him about his favorite character, and…"

Noya felt his heart spasm at the honorific his nephew attached to Ryuu's name. Uncle. He'd tuned out whatever Takashi was saying, static buzzing in his ears as he smiled down at Takashi, whatever it took to avoid Ryuu's eyes for as long as possible.

"That's awesome, buddy," Noya said when Takashi stopped rambling.

"Right? So then I showed him—"

"Come on, kiddo, we have to get you and your sister in the car," Hiru interrupted, placing a firm hand on her son's back and steering him toward the front door. Takashi switched gears instantly and continued the conversation with Hiru as if she'd been the one part of it from the beginning.

Noya's gaze was still trained downward when he felt Ryuu's presence draw near. He took a breath and looked up, and was met with an expression he'd never seen on Ryuu's face: a mask of politeness like they were complete strangers.

"Hey," Ryuu said.

"Hey," Noya answered, and he felt his energy drain. He'd been planning on confronting Ryuu about ditching him this morning, but…

"So, it's the big day," Ryuu said.

Small talk, Noya thought derisively. Is this what we've come to?

But instead he responded, "Sure is. Everything's ready?"

"Seems like it," Ryuu said. "I got tasked with babysitting."

"They seem to like you," Noya replied.

Ryuu gave an embarrassed half-shrug. "They're good kids."

"Yeah."

Silence fell between them, but it didn't feel empty. Instead it felt clustered, crowded with all the questions left unspoken and answers ungiven. Noya had a million things to say burning at the tip of his tongue—why did you leave me this morning, why did you kiss me, did I push something too far, was this whole thing a mistake, are we okay, please god let us be okay—but he said none of them.

Ryuu opened his mouth as if to say something else innocuous—a remark on the weather, perhaps—when Noya's mother swept into the room. She looked beautiful in her tomesode, brilliantly embroidered with gold, cream, and rose-colored thread that stood out against the black fabric.

"There you are!" she exclaimed. "Sato has the kids loaded in his car. Your father, grandfather, and sister are waiting on us in ours. Asami's meeting us there. Ryuu, you go with Sato and we'll meet you at the farm after the ceremony."

He nodded. "I'm looking forward to it. Congratulations to you and your family, Nishinoya-san," he said, and bowed slightly.

Chiaki smiled and reached up to pat him on the cheek. "Our family, Ryuunosuke."

"Of course," Ryuu said with a smile, and Noya's gut roiled with guilt and shame.

"Well, see you later," Noya said.

Ryuu stepped forward and leaned over to press a swift kiss to Noya's temple. Normally, it would've made his heart do cartwheels around his ribcage. Instead, he just felt nauseous.

Chiaki tittered happily, and Ryuu departed without another word. Noya glanced at his phone and startled when he realized it hasn't even been a full day since they embarked on this fake-dating arrangement. It had taken less than twenty-four hours for everything to fall apart.

He just hoped it could be put back together.

/ / /

The ceremony was beautiful and intimate, with just the immediate family members in attendance. Mizuki and Yume both wore matching white uchikake, but they ditched the traditional headdresses that symbolized submission. Noya sat with his head bowed, listening as the priest offered prayers to the gods and purified the happy couple. He didn't pay much attention, though, too consumed with thoughts of Ryuu and how he could begin to repair their relationship.

Did they need to talk it out, or did they just need some space? Would everything be okay once they got home and didn't have to pretend anymore? Did Ryuu regret agreeing to the whole thing? Noya thought that was a pretty obvious yes now, but…did he regret coming with Noya to this wedding in the first place?

Noya gritted his teeth, wishing he could just confront Ryuu about it and get it all out in the open, but he couldn't. He had to keep up appearances for his family, and he didn't want to cause a scene and fuck up his sister's wedding. Even so, restlessness settled under his skin and simmered continuously.

After the ceremony, they had photos taken and then they skipped the traditional small meal in favor of heading straight to the dinner reception to celebrate with their friends and the rest of their family, which meant they were heading straight toward Ryuu and all of Noya's uncertainties.

The barn looked stunning, done up with string lights and flowers and gauzy sashes. They'd done a really good job. Noya recognized distant family members and some of Mizuki's friends milling about and chatting outside, and he spied more people inside around the tables. They unloaded from the cars, and then Noya and his sisters were sent on a mission to gather family members for another photo session.

Noya spotted Ryuu almost instantly, standing in a small group toward the back of the barn. He hadn't gotten a chance to appreciate Ryuu's look back at the house before they all left, so he took the opportunity now. Ryuu's suit was the exact shade of dark navy that perfectly brought out his eyes, and it fit him well, tailored just right to show off the dip in his waist and the swell of his thighs. His head was freshly shaven, and he'd worn his nice black titanium piercings. He looked…really good, and Noya felt his face flush.

He shook his head to clear the dirty thoughts that had started to take root, and then he began weaving through the tables to make his way over to Ryuu. He watched Ryuu chat with his cousins, laughing at whatever jokes were told and smiling politely, and as he walked he felt his impatience and urge to confront Ryuu begin to deflate.

Ryuu was doing him a huge favor this weekend, not only by agreeing to the fake dating but also by coming to the wedding at all. Noya knew how exhausting family events were, especially when it wasn't your family and you didn't know half the people in attendance and had to get left alone for several hours. But here Ryuu was, taking everything in stride and doing it all for Noya's sake.

And what was Noya doing for him in return? Crossing lines, getting too close, and making everything uncomfortable. Ryuu deserved better. No matter how much Noya wanted to yell at him, no matter how much he wanted to demand answers for last night and this morning, Noya was already asking enough of him.

So he put on his best entertainer smile and went to rescue his fake boyfriend from his nosy cousins.

"Hey babe," he said, sliding an arm around Ryuu's waist like it was the most natural thing in the world, even as his heart hammered with nerves.

"Oh—hey," Ryuu said in surprise, and his arm draped easily over Noya's shoulders.

"Yuu!" the three cousins chorused.

"We didn't know you'd snagged such a gentleman," said Aoi. "Where have you been hiding him?"

"Oh, you know, here and there," Noya said evasively. "Anyway, speaking of hiding him, I'm gonna steal this guy and get us some drinks."

"We'll catch up later?" Botan called as Noya pulled Ryuu away.

"Yeah, yeah," Noya said over his shoulder. As soon as they were out of earshot, Noya asked, "So, how have you been holding up?"

"Great, honestly," Ryuu replied, and his hand squeezed Noya's shoulder. Noya wondered if it was for show or from instinct, but he didn't hope that it was because Ryuu wanted to. He didn't. "Your family is a lot of fun. Although I may have promised your aunt that I'd go out with her if you and I don't work out."

The words hit Noya in the chest, a reminder that this wasn't real. He forced a jovial tone into his voice. "Himari-oba? Yeah, I should've warned you about her. She hits on everything that moves. I, uh…guess you can give her a call in a few months, if you want. Once we call this off publicly."

"Oh…yeah," Ryuu said, and his arm disappeared from around Noya's shoulders. Noya pulled away too, feeling regretful and wishing he hadn't said anything. He'd thought it would come off as a joke, but now it just felt weird.

They stopped walking standing awkwardly between two tables, an island in the middle of an ocean of movement and chatter all around them. Silence swelled between them, thick and strangling, and the wheels in Noya's brain were spinning out trying to think of something—anything—to say. They weren't even really facing each other, Noya was standing just a bit ahead of him, slightly turned back, but both their eyes were on the ground.

Annoyance and frustration welled up inside him, and he opened his mouth to say something probably stupid and self-destructive that he didn't really mean when his mother appeared suddenly.

"There you two are," she said. "Come on, family photo time!"

"M-me too?" Ryuu asked.

"Of course, dear," Chiaki said sweetly, and she reached up to pinch his cheeks. "You're part of this family. You always have been."

"Thank you," Ryuu said, his voice warm and heavy with emotion, and she tugged them both outside to where the rest of the family was waiting.

Chaos ensued as the photographer called out groupings of family members, switching people around and posing them. Chiaki and Yume's mother helped to round everyone up for each photo. It was fun, and there was a lot of laughter, but something like guilt roiled in Noya's stomach the whole time.

Ryuu would be in these photos for the rest of their lives. And what his mother said was right, Ryuu has been part of their family for ages, ever since Noya brought him home for a sleepover for the first time and declared that Ryuu was going to be his best friend for the rest of his life. But this was different. This was Ryuu as part of the family because he was supposed to be Noya's partner.

How will it feel to look back on these photos and know that it was a lie? How will his family feel looking at these after they announce their breakup in a few months? He could only hope it won't be too weird, since he and Ryuu will still be friends after all of this.

They will still be friends, right?

"Yuu, Ryuunosuke!" Chiaki said. "Your turn!"

Hiru and her husband wrangled their giggling children away from the flower bushes and trees they'd been posing in front of, and now his mother was gesturing them forward.

"Shall we?" Ryuu asked, taking his hand.

Noya squeezed his fingers on instinct. "Yeah, okay."

"This is good," Ryuu said breezily. "We don't have any nice photos of us. They're all just, like, party selfies."

"Excuse you, those are nice photos! I take great party selfies," Noya said, affronted.

"Sure, or at least you would if your arms were long enough," Ryuu retorted with a quirked eyebrow. "You always cut my forehead off."

"That's because your forehead is massive, Mr. Chrome Dome," Noya replied.

Ryuu dropped Noya's hand and caught him around the shoulders, digging his knuckles into Noya's temple. "Why you—"

"Okay, boys," Chiaki said with an amused tone. "Settle down."

"They're fine," said the photographer, snapping away. "You boys are cute together."

"Aren't they?" Chiaki agreed.

Noya's cheeks grew hot as Ryuu quickly released him. Just when everything had been feeling so normal between them again, too. He stood beside Ryuu and faced the photographer, hands linked together in front of him so he didn't do anything stupid with them.

"Alright, alright, act like you like each other," the photographer instructed, and Noya's family laughed as they watched on.

Ryuu complied instantly, putting an arm around Noya's waist and drawing him in to his side. Noya stepped into the contact, heart pattering with nerves as he tucked his arm behind Ryuu too. They smiled for the camera, and then the photographer had them do a few more poses until it felt like they were just about done.

"Okay, now how about a kiss?" the photographer asked.

"Oh, I don't—we—PDA isn't—" Noya started stammering, because kissing Ryuu last night was how it all started to turn sour in the first place, and what if they kissed again and it broke everything beyond repair and—

Ryuu put his arms around Noya, cutting off his incoherent babbling, and squeezed him tight while pressing his lips to Noya's temple. Noya heard the clicks of the photographer's camera, but he couldn't get his face to cooperate and force a smile past his shock. He was sure he was making some dumb expression that his family would tease him about forever.

Not one to be outdone, Noya whipped around and placed a kiss on Ryuu's chin—the only place he could easily reach with Ryuu looking down his nose at him like that. He could have elbowed Ryuu in the gut to get him to bend over, but he didn't feel like being scolded by his mother. As it was, his family cooed at the display and he rocked back onto his heels. Ryuu stared down at him with surprised eyes.

"Got you back," Noya said triumphantly.

A smile broke out across Ryuu's face, and he started to laugh as he leaned down so their foreheads rested together. Noya's hands squeezed around Ryuu's waist—he's not sure when they landed there—as he laughed too, and this…this right here was what he didn't want to lose. He wanted a whole lifetime of hanging out with Ryuu and teasing each other and laughing about dumb shit, so if he needed to keep a lid on his stupid feelings in order to keep this, then that what he'd have to do.

"Are we good?" Noya asked as they disentangled themselves from each other.

"Yes, I think that's everyone," Chiaki replied.

"Food time?" Asami asked.

"Food time!" Mizuki confirmed, and the rest of the family cheered before making their way back to the barn.

As the group dispersed, Mizuki and Yume hung back with their mothers so they could change into their Western wedding dresses for the party, Noya and the rest of his family went into the barn. Ryuu took Noya's hand and tugged him forward, and Noya stared at their interlocked hands, trying to memorize the feeling while he could still take advantage of this.

"Want a drink?" Ryuu asked, nodding at where the bar was set up.

"Yes," he said emphatically, and they went together.

It wasn't long before Mizuki and Yume made their grand entrance in their stunning white gowns to the loud cheers of their family and friends, and then the eating began. With food in his belly, Noya began to feel even better about the day.

A drink or two also turned out to be the perfect remedy to his earlier self-doubts and hesitations. Noya didn't love using alcohol as a coping method, but it did the trick to loosen him up and get him out of his head enough to stop tensing every time Ryuu brushed against him. It seemed to relax Ryuu too, and things between them started to feel much closer to normal again, but with the added bonus of having an excuse to touch Ryuu or be touched by him.

Honestly, being buzzed at a party was how they've spent a good portion of their adult lives thus far, so the routine was easy to fall back into. Noya traded jibes with his family members, Ryuu told embarrassing stories from high school, and all in all it was turning in to a really fun time. They were even getting close to the vibe they'd had last night, when pretending had been easy and fun and not full of doubt.

After dinner were some heartfelt speeches from the family, and then the dancing started up. Mizuki and Yume kicked it off with their shared first dance, and then the DJ lead in with a bright, bouncy song that's been all over the radio this summer.

"Come on," Noya said, getting out of his chair and offering a hand to Ryuu. "Let's dance."

Ryuu looked up at him in surprise, then grinned before taking Noya's hand and allowing himself to be led to the dance floor. A few moments later they reached the circle some of his cousins had formed on the dance floor and began grooving along to the music.

Over the course of dinner and speeches, Noya had decided he was going to take it easy for the rest of the weekend, for his sake and Ryuu's. From now on he was keeping it light and breezy, which was really a specialty of his. No more reading in to things, no more hoping for things that weren't going to happen, and no more breaking his own heart.

They'd already done enough to sell their relationship to his family. Noya couldn't ask anything more of Ryuu, and he didn't want to risk pushing the line any farther than it has been. All he was going to do now was have fun at his sister's wedding with his best friend, and then things would go back to normal starting tomorrow afternoon.

"Alright, everyone," the DJ said a while later as she switched tracks. "We're going to slow it down now."

Noya glanced at Ryuu and laughed awkwardly as half the dance floor dissipated, either to get new . "We don't have to—"

"C'mon," Ryuu said, and he took Noya's hand, pulling him gently forward.

Noya took a couple stumbling steps toward Ryuu, then shivered when Ryuu's other hand settled at his waist. He hesitantly placed his free hand on Ryuu's arm, resting his thumb at the crook of Ryuu's elbow. Once he was in position, though, he wasn't sure what to do next, and Ryuu had to tug on him to get his feet unglued from the floor.

"Man, you suck," Ryuu snickered.

"Fuck off!" Noya snapped, then deliberately stomped on Ryuu's foot.

"You know you're just proving my point," Ryuu said with an arched eyebrow.

Noya rolled his eyes, and they giggled together. Inside his chest, he felt something loosen up. This was right, he told himself, this was what they were to each other. Noya could be happy with this.

"So," Ryuu said, and turned them in a circle, "you checked in with me earlier, but I haven't checked in with you. How are you holding up?"

"Oh I'm fine," Noya replied. "It's good to see everyone. The ceremony was nice, too."

"I bet. They seem really happy together."

They turned again, and Noya was able to spot Mizuki and Yume dancing together on the other side of the barn. They weren't so much dancing as just shifting their weight back and forth, smiling and talking as they held each other close. Their faces were lit up and glowing, exuding pure happiness.

"Yeah," Noya agreed, and his heart ached. "Hey, thanks for coming with me. I don't know if I've said that."

"You don't have to thank me," Ryuu said. "You know I'll go anywhere with you."

"I know, but…" Noya's hand squeezed Ryuu's arm subconsciously. "You didn't sign up for all this."

Ryuu's arm tightened around him suddenly, drawing him even closer against Ryuu's chest. Hesitantly, he laid his head and hand on Ryuu's shoulder and ignored the nervous drumming of his heart. Ryuu lowered their joined hands too, holding them against his chest.

"If you're worried I regret agreeing to 'all this,' I don't," Ryuu said.

"You don't?" Noya asked, biting back the other questions he wanted to ask. Then why did you sleep on the floor? Why did you disappear this morning? Why have you been acting so uncomfortable with me?

"No." Ryuu tipped his head against Noya's, cheek pressed to Noya's hair, and squeezed his hand.

Noya shut his eyes and concentrated on trying to keep his breathing even. So much for light and breezy. He felt like he might pass out at any minute from how tightly lungs were wound around his heart. All around them other couples swayed and turned, just like them on the outside, but the difference was the other couples weren't playing pretend. They were here and together because they loved each other, and Noya wanted more than anything to be like that too.

"Ryuu," he said softly, because he couldn't help it, because Ryuu's name was his favorite word, because he loved this man more than he could bear. "I—"

"Okay, now that we've got everyone all coupled up, if I could have all unmarried folks to the dance floor for the bouquet toss!" the DJ announced.

The music became upbeat and fast again, and the spell was broken. Ryuu released him, stepping back so there was a few centimeters of space between them, and Noya stiffly lowered his arms back to his sides. Ryuu still kept a hand on the small of Noya's back, though, but it was probably just for appearance's sake.

"I don't really wanna do this," Noya mumbled, and he took a couple steps back. Ryuu's hand fell away. "Can we—"

"Come on, you two," Asami said, appearing between them and looping her arms with theirs. "Let's get this over with."

Before Noya could utter his protest, Asami dragged them over to join the crowd that was gathering before the upper level hayloft where Mizuki and Yume were standing above everyone. He wasn't sure at what point they'd disappeared to climb up there, but he imagined it couldn't have been easy with their fancy dresses.

"This is stupid," Noya muttered.

"Yes, but it'll make Kaa-san happy," Asami replied. She put an arm around his shoulders and pointed to the side where the photographer was standing. "Now smile."

Noya smiled obligingly, leaning in to his sister's side for what was sure to be a nice-looking photo that his mom would likely hang somewhere in the house, then looked back up to the newlyweds as they prepared to toss their bouquets in the Western wedding tradition.

"Everyone ready?" Mizuki called over her shoulder. "Three, two—"

A cheer went up as the two brides threw the bouquets behind them, each sailing in a different direction. Noya's eyes instinctively tracked the bouquet closest to him as it arced over everyone's heads. A hand shot up and bumped the blooms, causing it to change directory beyond the edge of the crowd. Its momentum wavered, beginning to dip, and Noya felt an automatic tensing in his thighs as he watched it fall.

Without even thinking about it, he leapt forward in a dive and scooped the bouquet out of the air just before it hit the ground. He tucked his shoulder and hit the floorboards of the barn, rolling once before coming to a stop. There was a pause, and then the party guests erupted in laughter and cheering.

"Rolling Thunder?" asked Ryuu, appearing in front of him and offering to help him up.

Noya grinned and took his hand. "You know it."

As soon as he was on his feet, they were swarmed by people talking about his dive and the bouquet and then his mom started boasting about his high school volleyball career to anyone who would listen.

"He could have gone professional, I tell you that," Chiaki declared.

"Kaa-san, please," Noya hissed.

She turned to him. "Oh, Yuu, that was just so spectacular. You still have the instincts! But you know what this means now, don't you?"

Her voice was full of sugar and insinuation, and yes Noya did know the Western superstition that whoever caught the bouquet would be the next to get married. He wanted to point out that the other bouquet had been caught by one of Mizuki and Yume's friends—albeit in a far less dramatic manner—and that she could also be next to get married, but he knew that wasn't really the point.

"I know you haven't technically been dating for very long," Chiaki continued, and Noya stifled the voice that said they haven't been dating at all, "but I can't help but think that it would be so wonderful to be planning one of these for you two someday."

Noya stared at the bouquet in his arms and clenched his jaw. It was a little roughed up, and a couple of the stems had snapped when he crushed them to his chest, but it was still beautiful. His mind strayed to his thoughts from earlier, about all the other couples on the dance floor and how much Noya wanted that with Ryuu. And then he thought about today, about seeing Mizuki and Yume so happy together, about reuniting with all of his family, about the beautiful celebration of love and future prosperity and…

And he could see it. He could picture it clearly in his mind's eye, getting married to Ryuu someday. He didn't know the details like where or when, but he could see it. The two of them in matching montsuki kimonos, kneeling in front of a priest as they partook in the san-san-kudo, surrounded by their family. And then after all the celebrations were over and they'd danced their hearts out, they'd go home together, just like they would every day for the rest of their lives.

"Yeah," Noya said softly, because fuck he wanted it so badly.

He heard a deep inhale from beside him, and he lifted his gaze from the flowers to look up at Ryuu, standing close by him as always. Ryuu watched him with a serious expression, a little line forming between his eyebrows where they pushed together. Noya could see a question in those eyes, and as badly as he wanted to run away from it, he didn't let himself.

"That would be wonderful, wouldn't it?" he said, and even though he was responding to his mother, the words were for Ryuu.

Ryuu's lips parted, head tilted toward him, and Noya felt his center of gravity shift. They leaned toward each other as the breath left Noya's lungs. Were they…were they going to kiss? Earlier he'd wanted to avoid it at all costs, but now it just—it felt right. And one more little kiss couldn't really hurt, could it? It would satisfy his mother, and Noya would have one last chance to feel Ryuu's mouth on his.

But just as his eyes started to slip shut, Ryuu took several hurried steps backwards and almost tripped over a chair in his haste. Noya's stomach dropped out as the hollow chill of dread swept over him. Ryuu's face was pained, and he looked quickly away from Noya.

"S-sorry—" he stammered, voice hoarse. "I—I have to—bathroom."

Without another word, he turned on his heel and fled, trampling on Noya's heart as he went.

"Oh!" Chiaki said, surprised by Ryuu's sudden departure. She pursed her lips, and Noya tensed as he waited for her to say something, but after a moment she just shrugged. "Well, let's get these in some water, hm?"

She reached for the bouquet, and Noya gave it up easily. His skin was crawling, hot and itchy under his suit, and he didn't want to look at it or her or anything anymore.

"Thanks," he grunted, then turned and went to the table he and Ryuu had been sitting at earlier. He slumped heavily into his chair, putting his elbows on the table and propping his face on his hands.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, he yelled at himself. What happened to taking it easy? Why do you always go too far? Why did you ruin everything?

Because it was ruined, wasn't it? There was no disguising the open want in his voice or on his face when he'd said how wonderful it would be to marry Ryuu someday. Now Ryuu was majorly freaked out, and he and Noya would probably never be the same again.

At least Ryuu wasn't rejecting him to his face this time, not like three years ago…

"Ryuu, hey!" Noya called, having spotted Ryuu waiting for him on a bench at the park by their houses.

Ryuu looked up and nodded at him. His body language was tight, closed off, but Noya figured that was to be expected since his dad had just been admitted to the hospital three nights ago. He'd been sideswiped by a drunk driver and wrecked his car on his commute home from Sendai Friday night. It was looking like he would be okay, but it was pretty rough at first.

"H-hey, uh…how are you doing?" Noya asked when he got close enough. The words sounded awkward, and he cringed inwardly as soon as he said them. He and Ryuu weren't ones for small talk, but the mixture of hope and anxiety in his chest had him second guessing everything he could potentially say.

"Fine," Ryuu said. His voice was gravelly, he had bags under his eyes, and Noya wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in a comforting hug, but he held himself back because he wasn't sure where they were at.

They hadn't really talked since that night, since Ryuu's dad's accident, since they'd almost had sex in Noya's bed in the middle of the party they'd been hosting. Noya knew Ryuu was stressed and needed to focus on his family, so he'd left shortly after arriving with Ryuu to the hospital and meeting up with Saeko. Their texts over the past few days had been sparse, just short updates on Ryuu's dad and the agreement to meet up at the park today, and the elephant in the room only grew larger.

"How's your dad?"

"Fine, he's breathing better now," Ryuu said.

"That's good."

"Yeah."

"And…how's Saeko?"

"Fine. Her job's given her some time off."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

Noya scuffed his sneaker against the sidewalk underneath, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he debated how to bring up the fact that they'd made out and Noya had almost successfully given him a handjob. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing to bring up, especially with how the night had turned, but also because he wasn't sure where Ryuu's head was at.

Was it even right to bring it up now? Should he wait until things were less tense with Ryuu's dad? Was it selfish to ask Ryuu for an answer right now? Or would he make it more awkward by avoiding it?

He bit his cheek sharply to cut off the spiral of thoughts. Overthinking would get him nowhere. It was better to just get it over with.

"Hey, Ryuu," he started. "About that night—"

"Can we just forget about it?" Ryuu asked, the words coming out in a fast, nervous flurry and hitting Noya right in the gut.

"W…what?" Noya asked, because there was no fucking way he heard that right.

"Can we…can we forget about it?" Ryuu mumbled. "It wasn't a big deal, right?"

It wasn't a big deal.

It wasn't a big deal?

It was a huge deal, it was everything Noya had ever wanted, everything he'd been dreaming about. It was a dream come true, a one in a million chance, a once in a lifetime opportunity. It was—

"Yeah," Noya said, trying to tell himself his voice didn't sound choked. "Yeah, it's no big deal. Whatever."

"Okay." Ryuu nodded to himself, seemingly satisfied despite his stiff posture. "Okay, cool."

"Cool," Noya echoed and tried to ignore the feeling of his heart splintering apart in his chest.

This was fine, he told himself. It wasn't really like he'd lost anything. He and Ryuu gave it a shot—half a shot, really, but fucking whatever—and it didn't pan out. Really, half a shot was more than he thought he'd ever get, so he should be happy. Now nothing has changed, and everything was fine because they were still friends.

They'd always be friends.

They had to be.

"Fuck," Noya whispered, feeling tears of misery begin to prick at his eyes.

"Yuu?"

He startled, lifting his face out of his hands and looking up to see that he'd been suddenly surrounded by all three of his sisters. Crying at his sister's wedding was embarrassing enough, but being caught crying at his sister's wedding by his sisters was even worse. He quickly pasted a smile on his face.

"Hey, monkey, is everything okay?" Hiru asked, her face creased with concern.

"Oh yeah, I just got a little dizzy," Noya said jovially. "Guess I need to switch to water."

"You had three drinks two hours ago. We're not buying it," Asami said and folded her arms. "What's going on?"

"Spill, Yuu." Mizuki took Ryuu's seat, her dress poofing out around her, and gave him a pointed look.

Noya tried to wave away their concern, maintaining that easy-going smile on his face. "It's nothing, guys, really—"

"It's not nothing," Asami said. "I saw Ryuu storm away from you and Kaa-san. He looked really upset."

"You two have been acting really weird today," Hiru pointed out.

Mizuki clapped a hand to her mouth. "You're not breaking up, are you?"

And here it was, the confrontation he'd been hoping to avoid since they started this charade. He could say yes, and they would just end the lie sooner than expected. His mother would be heartbroken, and his family would probably ask even more questions about the break up than they did about the get together. He could also say no, find Ryuu, and get him to just get through the rest of this day whatever the cost.

But both options sounded exhausting, and his heart was already so, so tired.

"No, we're not breaking up," he muttered. He gave a self-deprecating chuckle and curled his hands into fists over his knees. "We can't."

"That's the spirit!" Hiru said, reaching out to rub his shoulder.

"No." He shook his head and ground his teeth together. "I mean, we can't break up because we aren't actually dating."

Noya's not sure what he was expecting. Maybe a gasp, the sound of glass breaking as someone dropped a wine glass, or maybe they'd just start yelling at him for deceiving them. Instead, when he pulled his eyes up from his lap, he was met with three matches blank stares of confused disbelief.

"Sorry…what?" Asami said, the first to gather her wits about her.

"We're not dating," Noya repeated.

"Because you just broke up?" Hiru asked.

"No, we were never dating."

"But you said…"

"You assumed," Noya corrected, "and I—I didn't want to deal with you guys making fun of me for not being good at dating or whatever, so…I asked Ryuu to go along with it."

Hiru's jaw went slack eyebrows pushed so hard together it was like they were trying to become one. Asami looked as if she was trying to solve a complicated math equation in her head. Mizuki was just plain dumbfounded.

"No way," Hiru said, shaking her head. "No fucking way."

"Yeah, there's no…that's…how could all of that have been fake?" Mizuki asked.

"We saw the way you looked at each other," Hiru said.

"And that kiss last night!"

"And the story."

"And—"

"And you've never actually told him how you feel, have you?" Asami cut them off, narrowing her eyes at him.

Noya nodded glumly. "It's…I don't need to tell him. I know he doesn't feel that way about me."

"What are you talking about?!" Hiru demanded. "We've all seen—"

"You've seen the act, but it was all pretend!" Noya snapped. "None of it was real!"

"Of course it was real, Yuu—"

"No!" Noya slapped his palms down on the table, frustration making his teeth grind and face burn. "You don't understand! I've been through this before, in high school. We almost—we could've—but no. It didn't happen then, it's not happening now. He doesn't like me like that. He's just a good friend who went along with this so I could save face."

"Are you, like, actually stupid?" Asami asked bluntly.

He flinched. "I…I didn't—I'm sorry for lying, I—"

She waved a hand, brushing off his concern. "Not that. Although that was pretty stupid, too. If Kaa-san ever finds out…" All four of them heaved a sigh. "But no. I'm asking if you're stupid because that boy's been in love with you for years."

"You're just saying that," Noya mumbled. "You don't get it. We're just close, people assume—"

"Yuu," Mizuki interrupted, placing a hand on his wrist. "He loves you."

Noya shook his head miserably. "No. I wish he did, but…no."

"Listen, I'm telling you he loves you," Mizuki insisted. "Saeko told me."

All three of them swiveled their heads to look at her in surprise. Four years ago, when Mizuki graduated university and moved back home while job hunting, she and Saeko had a brief but passionate fling. It had only lasted a few months and ended when Mizuki found a job in Ishinomaki—where she ended up meeting Yume—but the breakup had been hard on both of them. Neither had mentioned the other ever since.

For Mizuki to bring Saeko up now made it clear how serious she was.

"She made me promise not to tell you," she continued, ignoring the pointed stares of their sisters so she could focus entirely on Noya. Her grip on his wrist was tight. "We hoped you two would figure it out on your own. Clearly, we had way too much faith in you."

Asami scoffed and rolled her eyes while Hiru made a concerned noise in the back of her throat.

Noya's mouth opened and closed for a second as he tried to figure out what to say. Perhaps hearing this shouldn't be so surprising, since Ryuu had to have at least some interest in him back then. They'd almost had sex that night, after all. But now, hearing that confirmed, his heart yearned to hope, to believe, but…

"Maybe he did, years ago," he mumbled, "but if he ever felt that way for me, he doesn't anymore. It's been four years since Saeko told you that. Things are different now."

"Monkey," Hiru said gently, "did he ever tell you he doesn't have feelings for you?"

"Not quite so specifically, but I got the general picture," Noya responded tersely. "I don't need him to reject me word for fucking word. I know you think I'm stupid, but I understand perfectly. He doesn't want me. Three years ago, we could have taken it further, but he changed his mind."

"Maybe he's changed it again!" Hiru said encouragingly.

"Listen, Yuu," Asami broke in, "he looks at you with fucking stars in his eyes. It'd be pathetic if it wasn't so cute."

"You're wrong," he insisted, desperately trying to cage back in the desire that was threatening to break him with its weight. "I—he—we aren't—"

"You say he knows," Hiru said. "But I think you need to tell him for real."

"I know it's scary, Yuu," Mizuki told him. "It's fucking terrifying, putting yourself out there like that. But if you can push past the fear—and I know you can, you've always been braver than any of us—then something wonderful will be waiting for you on the other side." Her gaze slipped off of his and wandered, and he could tell the moment she spotted her wife because her eyes got all warm and misty. "And I can tell you it's absolutely worth it."

Noya's heart ached. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to be brave and fearless like his grandfather taught him to be. He hated being like this—pitiful, afraid, and full of doubt—but Ryuu has always been his one weakness in that regard.

"What if you're wrong?" he asked miserably. "I can't—I can't lose him."

"But can you keep going on like this?" Asami asked.

He hung his head in defeat. No, he couldn't. No matter how many times he told himself he was happy with what he had, that he was satisfied with being Ryuu's friend, that he would finally lay his crush to rest, it was all just lies. He was in love with Ryuu, and he would be stuck in this awful limbo for the rest of his life if he didn't man up and do something about it.

Even if it risked what was most important to him.

"Something's gotta give, Yuu," Asami said. "If things keep going like this, you might lose him anyway."

Hiru leaned forward, nodding emphatically. "You've gotta get it all out in the open. That's the only way to know for sure."

"And I bet he's just as confused as you are," Mizuki pointed out. "You've probably been giving each other mixed signals all weekend."

Noya cringed. If they were right and Ryuu really did still have feelings for him, then all the times he'd pulled back after letting his true feelings slip probably gave the wrong message to Ryuu, and that would only serve to confuse him and make him pull back too. Noya and Ryuu were similar in many ways—it was part of why they got along so well—but notably different in others, like how Ryuu was way more sensitive than he was. So if Ryuu liked him but sensed any hesitation on Noya's part, he'd likely shutter his heart out of self-preservation, which Noya would interpret as him not being interested…

Huh. Maybe they really have been stupid.

Asami shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You really do deserve each other. Two idiot peas in a pod."

"Hey!" Noya snapped, but there was no heat in it. In fact, his spirits were beginning to feel a little brighter as he dared to let the sparks of hope inside of him catch fire. "You…you really think he loves me?"

"Undoubtedly."

"Duh."

"Yes, monkey."

He smiled a bit at their in-unison remarks, but it faded when he cast a look around the barn. Ryuu was nowhere to be seen. Has he not come out of the bathroom yet?

"Oh, Yuu, there you are," their mother said as she approached the table. Her face was creased with concern. "I just saw Ryuu. He said he was going to call a cab, that he's not feeling well."

"What?!" Noya exclaimed with alarm. "Where is he?"

"He was leaving just a moment ago. I think he's down the driveway by the cars," Chiaki replied.

Suddenly multiple hands were hauling him out of his chair and frog-marching him toward the barn doors, leaving their poor confused mother behind.

"You have to find him!" Hiru said earnestly.

"Not a second to lose, kid," Asami added.

"I swear to god, Yuu, if you don't find that boy and tell him you love him and have slutty wedding sex in a closet somewhere, I will never forgive you," Mizuki growled as they pushed him forward.

"I got it, I got it!" Noya groaned. "Let go of me, I have to go confess to my fake boyfriend!" They laughed and obliged, giving him a little shove as they released him. He turned around to look gratefully at them. "I love you guys."

"We love you too," Asami replied, "but if you don't get out of our sight right now—"

"I'm outta here!" he interrupted, then stepped out the barn doors and began to run.

A strange feeling overcame him as he jogged, an impending doom like this was his last chance. If Ryuu got away right now, Noya could just catch up with him at the house and they could hash everything out then. But three years ago, he'd let Ryuu out of his sight and it had almost ruined everything. He wasn't taking that chance again. They were doing this now.

Luckily Ryuu was easy to spot, the lone figure among the parked cars. Noya's heart leapt into his throat, but he pushed forward. This time he would be brave.

"Ryuu!" he shouted.

Ryuu startled, lowering his phone to his side and staring at Noya with a guilty expression.

"What the fuck, man?" Noya asked, and…maybe that wasn't the best start to a confession, but his adrenaline was roaring now and that meant his impulse control was out the window.

"Noya," Ryuu said with a cringe. "Hey, I'm—I'm not feeling well—"

"Bullshit," Noya interrupted. "What's going on?"

"I—really, it's—I'm—"

"You're running away," Noya accused. "You're running away just like you did three years ago, but this time I'm not fucking letting you."

"Three yea—" Ryuu's eyes widened as he realized what Noya was referring to. His cheeks turned red and blotchy, mouth screwing up with annoyance. "Are we really doing this now?"

"Might as well," Noya said, folding his arms indignantly.

"I didn't—Noya, I didn't run away, my dad was in the fucking hospital," Tanaka growled. "Sorry I didn't wait to see him so you could get your rocks off first."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it," Noya snapped. "I'm talking about after, when we met up again at the park. You asked me to forget about it, Ryuu! You ran away! Just like you're doing now, and just like you did last night and this morning."

"Fucking—what else do you expect me to do, Noya?!" Ryuu yelled. "I can't—I can't sit here and—and pretend everything is normal and fine like you can! I thought I could, but this act, I—I can't do this anymore!"

"And why not?" Noya asked, his voice cracking slightly with desperation as his anger drained.

"Because it hurts, Noya," Ryuu said miserably. He sagged against the nearest car. "It hurts, being with you but not being with you. I've been trying to hide it, I didn't want to freak you out, but I…this is making me fucking miserable and I just wanted to leave so I could sort my shit out without you here to confuse me."

"Ryuu," Noya whispered, stepping close to him. "Ryuu, please…"

Ryuu raised his hands to his face, covering his eyes and blocking Noya out. "No, I—Noya, I can't—"

"No more running away," Noya said, reaching up to wrap his fingers around Ryuu's wrists. "Not for either of us."

"What…what are you running from?" Ryuu mumbled.

"You," Noya breathed. "This. Us."

Ryuu inhaled shakily, and then he relaxed enough for Noya to draw his hands down away from his face. His eyes were watery as he stared down at Noya.

"Ryuu, I…I've been in love with you since high school," Noya confessed breathlessly. "That's why my family thought we were dating, they knew…they knew how long I've wanted you. I thought if we corrected them that they'd slip up about my crush on you, s-so I…I asked you to go along with it."

"Noya," Ryuu whispered, eyes wide with shock.

He continued on, barreling forward like a freight train, unable to stop now. "I was being selfish, I know, but I thought it would be fine. I thought I could handle my feelings, but…shit, you're like a gourmet meal that I can't fucking eat, like a dream I'm gonna wake up from at any moment. I haven't even been able to enjoy fake dating you because I've spent the whole time wishing I was real dating you."

Warm hands suddenly cupped his cheeks, and his grip on Ryuu's wrists tightened as his breathing became erratic. His emotions whirled inside him like a tornado, but he had to keep going.

"S-so you see, I-I've been miserable too, because—cause I don't want it to be an act."

Ryuu's forehead pressed against his. He squeezed his eyes shut, his whole body pulsing with the force of his blood rushing through his veins.

"I don't want to break up in a couple months," he whispered, feeling tears brimming behind his closed eyelids. "I don't want you to go for it with my aunt, or anyone else. I don't—"

Their noses brushed, and Noya choked on the air in his throat.

"I—I don't want to pretend or—or hide, Ryuu, and I…I just want—"

Ryuu kissed him.

It took Noya a moment for his brain to catch up with his body, but the second he did he melted against Ryuu, pressing him back against the car they were next to. Ryuu let out a surprised noise just like three years ago, and the déjà vu of it grounded Noya into the reality of what was happening, what was really finally happening.

"Shit," he panted as he pulled away and rested his forehead against Ryuu's collarbone. "Holy fuck."

"Noya," Ryuu whispered, sliding his fingers down Noya's jaw to his chin and lifting it.

He met Ryuu's gaze, wide and vulnerable, and he was sure his was the same. There was no running away in this look they were sharing.

"I love you, Noya," he said firmly. "I always have, I-I didn't think—I thought you—I thought you didn't feel the same."

"Of course I do, Ryuu, I—"

Ryuu kissed him again. A little flare of annoyance went up inside him at Ryuu cutting him off, but then Ryuu licked at his lower lip and he couldn't find it in himself to be mad about that.

He could, however, find other things to be mad about, and he pulled away from Ryuu again and ignored Ryuu's whine of frustration.

"Wait, so—so why did you ask me to forget about it?!" Noya demanded. "If you also liked me, then…then why—"

"You ignored me all weekend!" Ryuu said, narrowing his eyes to a glare. "You went with me to the hospital, immediately dipped out, and then you barely texted me for three days!"

"I was giving you space!"

"Since when have we ever given each other space?!" Ryuu asked, and that…that was fair. "I…" He deflated a little. "I needed you, and you weren't there."

"I didn't know how to be," Noya muttered, looking down as searing shame pooled in his gut.

Noya looked down, searing shame pooling in his gut. He remembered that night at the hospital, running through the cold hallways trying to find someone who knew what was happening. He remembered the tears on Ryuu's face, the distraught slump to Saeko's shoulders when they found her in the waiting room. He remembered not knowing what to do and feeling like he was in the way and worrying about the state of his and Ryuu's relationship while yelling at himself for worrying about that instead of Ryuu's dad.

It had been entirely overwhelming, so he just…left. The distance he'd carved between them that night only felt larger in the days following, and he didn't know how to cross it, so he'd barely reached out until their meetup in the park. He thought he was doing the right thing, or at least he'd convinced himself it was the right thing, but clearly he was wrong.

Noya swallowed painfully. "I…I'm so sorry, Ryuu."

"I get it. I'm not mad anymore," Ryuu said slowly. "But…I thought you were having regrets, or you didn't want to talk to me, and I—I didn't want to lose you, so I figured it would be best to pretend it didn't happen. Then things could at least go back to normal, even if that wasn't what I wanted."

"Shit," Noya whispered. "So…all this time?"

Ryuu tilted his chin up again. "All this time."

They kissed, and Ryuu drew him close with one arm and settled the other hand at Noya's hip, and he could feel it like a brand, the heat of it searing through his clothing. His lips parted with a breathy moan, curling his fingers in the collar of Ryuu's shirt, and Ryuu slipped his tongue alongside Noya's.

Noya's stomach flipped, and he stepped even closer, slotting their legs together. His hip came into contact with the growing bulge in Ryuu's pants, and they both groaned. He couldn't believe this was happening, really happening, after so many years of agonized longing. And he couldn't believe they'd both been sitting on their feelings for so long.

"I can't believe you," he murmured against Ryuu's lips, vocalizing his thoughts. "Can we forget about it?" he mimicked. "Do you know how much that sucked, hearing that?"

"Do you know how much near radio silence from you sucked?" Ryuu growled, ducking his head to nip at the side of Noya's neck. Noya shivered. "I still think you could've said something."

"Your dad was in the hospital, Ryuu!" Noya hissed as Ryuu licked a stripe up his neck and nibbled at his ear in an obvious but appreciated attempt at distracting him. "What did you expect me to say? 'Hey sorry your dad's in critical condition, but I actually really like you and I want to touch your dick again'?!"

Ryuu drew back and grinned wolfishly at him. "You wanna touch my dick again?"

Noya rocked his hips forward, dragging delicious friction against the front of Ryuu's pants and pressing his own erection hard against Ryuu's thigh. "I think that's pretty obvious at this point, dude."

Ryuu shuddered and his fingers twitched against Noya's side. "Y-yeah, that's…yeah."

With a smile, Noya reached up to yank him back down into another kiss. Ryuu sighed into his mouth, holding Noya tight, and Noya drank in every glorious second of it. He remembered that night, remembered the feelings of greed and panic, remembered wanting to take everything he could get for the fear that it could end at any second. None of that was present right now.

Right now, Noya felt like he could take his time. He didn't feel like they were up against a deadline, or like they might run out of magic at any moment. He didn't feel like one misstep could ruin this forever. All he felt was warmth and love and a whole lot of hormones rushing through his body because yeah, he did want to touch Ryuu's dick again. He wanted to touch Ryuu's dick over and over again for as long as Ryuu would have him.

"D'you have stuff?" Noya asked breathlessly several long moments later.

"Wha—no, I don't have any stuff!" Ryuu hissed. "Why would I bring condoms and lube to your sister's wedding?!"

"Well how else are we supposed to have slutty wedding sex?" Noya countered.

"I think we're doing just fine as-is," Ryuu pointed out, and it was pretty true. They'd been rhythmically dry humping each other for the past several minutes and getting embarrassingly worked up over it. But Noya didn't want to cum in his pants, and they still had hours of wedding celebrations left to go.

"We can't finally have our first time in a makeshift parking lot against my cousin's car," Noya said, and he regretfully took a step back from Ryuu.

"Where else are we supposed to go?" Ryuu asked.

Noya bit his lip in thought, then grinned and stretched up on his toes. "Follow me," he whispered in Ryuu's ear.

Ryuu's hand squeezed his waist. "Anywhere."

/ / /

"This is so wrong," Ryuu groaned a few minutes later when Noya shoved him into the fairly spacious storage room attached to the side of the barn that Mizuki and Yume had used earlier to change wedding outfits. Their uchikake were folded and wrapped in paper, sitting on a shelf to be taken home at the end of the night.

"What, they're not using it," Noya said, hooking his fingers through Ryuu's belt loops. He leaned back against the closed door and pulled Ryuu flush against him. Ryuu leaned his forearms against the door, effectively caging Noya in, and smiled down at him.

"Hey," Ryuu said.

"Hey," Noya replied, then tilted his head up and Ryuu obliged him with a kiss.

Ryuu leaned heavily against him, and Noya loved the feeling of Ryuu's bulk on his body. He loved feeling covered by Ryuu like this, loved the way his senses narrowed till Ryuu was all he could taste, smell, hear, feel. It made him want more. He would always want more, and now he could have it.

/ \

[FFN doesn't allow explicit works. If you're over 18 you can read the full scene on my AO3.]

/ \

"Shit, Ryuu," Noya finally whispered. "That was…fuck, you're amazing."

"I had a lot to make up for," Ryuu murmured against his mouth. "Do you forgive me for running away three years ago?"

"No, never," Noya replied cheekily. "Not when I could've been getting head like that all this time."

Ryuu tipped his head back and laughed, and Noya stretched forward to place a gentle kiss at the dip between his collarbones. "Well, there's plenty more where that came from."

"I like the sound of that," Noya murmured.

He wrapped his arms around Ryuu and hugged him, enjoying the sound of Ryuu's heartbeat against his ear. Ryuu put one arm around his waist and rested the other at the back of Noya's neck, and they held each other for several long moments until the post-sex chill set in and they remembered they were standing half-naked in a barn storage room with a wedding party happening next door.

"We should get back," Ryuu said softly.

"I know," Noya said with a sigh. "Kinda wish you had called that cab, though. Then we could be at the house. Alone."

Ryuu swallowed and peered down at Noya with interest. "I could still do it. I did tell your mom I wasn't feeling well."

Noya laughed, more than half-tempted, but he felt bad at the idea of missing the rest of Mizuki's wedding reception. Besides, they had all the time in the world now. They didn't need to rush.

"Nah, we'd never hear the end of it," Noya replied.

"You're probably right." Ryuu squeezed him tightly, then drew back a little, eyes serious as he looked down at him. "I…I love you, Yuu."

He'd said it earlier by the cars, but hearing it again still took Noya's breath away. "I love you too," he whispered, rubbing one thumb at the back of Ryuu's neck. "Will you be my boyfriend again? For real this time?"

"Fuck yeah," Ryuu replied with a grin, and then he kissed him.

It was several minutes later when they finally extricated themselves from each other long enough to tuck their dicks back into their underwear and get their suits back on and looking at least decently presentable. There wasn't much they could do about their blooming hickeys and kiss-swollen mouths, but hey—Mizuki did tell them to have slutty wedding sex, and the nice family photos were already taken, so Noya didn't see much harm in it.

When they reentered the barn, they found that they missed the cake cutting, so they made their way to the dessert table to grab a couple slices before winding through the tables back to theirs. Asami and Hiru were the only ones there currently, and their faces lit up once they processed Noya and Ryuu's presence and what that meant.

"Gross," Asami said, wrinkling her nose teasingly at them.

"Oh my god, you really did it!" Hiru exclaimed, then held her hand out palm-up toward Asami. "Pay up, 'Sami!"

"Damn, Asami, you suck at this," Noya said as he and Ryuu took their seats. "Didn't you lose another bet yesterday?"

"I did," Asami said thoughtfully, and she slowly slid her wallet back into her purse and then rounded on Hiru. "And that bet was about Yuu and Ryuu being together, which I said had to be a mistake, and it turns out I was actually right! So I'm keeping this money in retribution."

"Wha—hey!" Hiru whined petulantly. "That's not fair!"

"Chill out, just go through Mizu's wallet later, or raid her gift table," Asami replied.

"Who's raiding my gift table?"

Mizuki appeared behind them, leveling an unamused eyebrow at their eldest sister.

"I actually won yesterday's bet, so you owe me," Asami said.

"The fuck? No, that bet's over and I have a honeymoon to pay for."

"But they weren't even together, you can't—"

"Someone had better give me my money—" Hiru started.

"Oh, Ryuunosuke!"

"Thank god," Noya muttered, turning to see his mother weaving between the tables toward her children. His sisters dropped their scowls and smiled brightly, not eager to get scolded for arguing. Noya was just glad they got interrupted before they could really start tearing into each other. It was never pretty when the three of them fought.

"Are you feeling better now?" Chiaki asked when she was close enough.

"Yes, much, thank you," Ryuu said. "I think I just needed some fresh air."

"I'm so glad, dear." She patted his cheek, then looked at Noya. "You take good care of this one, Yuu. Don't let him slip away."

"I won't," Noya promised, and she patted his cheek too before moving away to go mingle with more family members.

"And girls, please no fighting," she called over her shoulder as she went.

Hiru's jaw dropped.

"Holy shit," Asami muttered.

"How'd she know?" asked Mizuki.

Once their mother was definitely out of earshot, Noya whipped around to glare at each of his sisters. "She can never know," he hissed.

Mizuki grinned wickedly. "That's a lot of power you're giving us, Yuu. We could hold this over you for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, and you already owe us big time," Asami pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, just as long as she never finds out," he said emphatically.

"Oh, this is gonna be fun," Mizuki said, and Noya tried not to feel apprehensive at that.

"Well, at least everything worked out!" Hiru said, smiling warmly.

Noya returned her smile. "Yeah, yeah it did."

"I'll say," Mizuki quipped. "Nice, uh, mosquito bites, Yuu."

He slapped a hand over his neck and blushed as Ryuu choked on a bite of cake. "Yeah, they're…really biting out there."

"And sucking, it seems."

Ryuu gagged again, and Mizuki chortled as she patted him on the back. Hiru offered him a glass of water and he drank greedily. Asami rolled her eyes at all of them.

"Alright, well, this has been fun," Noya said sarcastically, rising from his seat and his half-eaten cake slice, "but I'd like to dance with my boyfriend now, if you don't mind."

He tugged on Ryuu's arm as his sisters cooed annoyingly, and Ryuu stumbled out of his chair before following Noya to the dance floor. Even though the song was upbeat and poppy, they put their arms around each other and just swayed. Noya leaned his head against Ryuu's chest and sighed, wondering if he'd ever been this happy before.

All around them family and friends jumped and swung their hips and danced to the music, happy to be there and celebrating Mizuki and Yume. Ryuu was in his arms again, just like when they'd been dancing earlier, but this time it was for real. Nothing was fake, nothing was pretend, and everything was good.

Noya looked up at Ryuu and put a hand on the back of his neck, guiding him down for a kiss. Their lips met, warm and familiar, and love spread over him like the comforting glow of a campfire. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of this.

"I love you," he said, because he could.

"I love you too," Ryuu replied sweetly, then wrinkled his nose.

Noya frowned. "What?"

"Uh, well…when we visit Saeko on our way home tomorrow, do you mind if we…don't tell her about us?" Ryuu asked with a cringe in his voice.

Noya squinted up at him. "Tanaka Ryuunosuke," he said slowly, "are you asking me to fake not-date you?"

Ryuu blushed and refused to meet his eyes. "It's just—she's gonna freak out and tease me, and I—well, it'd be easier to tell her not in person, so—"

"No way, babe," Noya said with a firm shake of his head. "If I have to get made fun of by my sisters, then you have to get made fun of by yours. And besides," He reached up and put his other hand on the side of Ryuu's face, bringing it down so their foreheads touched, "I don't want to not-date you ever again."

"That almost sounds like a marriage proposal," Ryuu teased, and Noya knew it was a joke, but something about this moment suddenly felt significant. There was an instinctive tug in his gut telling him to mitigate the volume of his feelings and laugh it off, but he ignored it. He wasn't going to run away from this anymore.

"Maybe someday," Noya replied, and he licked his lips a little nervously. "I did catch that bouquet, after all. That okay with you?"

Ryuu's face went kind of funny, equal parts embarrassed and warm and overwhelmed, and oh Noya loved him so much. He chuckled, then stretched up on his toes to capture Ryuu's lips in a soft, reassuring kiss, and Ryuu sighed a little in contentment.

"Yeah," Ryuu mumbled, voice full of emotion as he held Noya tight, like he was never going to let go. "That's okay with me."

---

The idea for this fic sprang into my head last year when the Haikyuu siblings lists came out and I saw that Noya had three older sisters, and everything grew from there. I always knew he was baby boy, but it turned out he really is baby boy

Thank you so much for reading! My friend Tono ( mainbird_art on Twitter) was my artist for this bang, and they did an amazing job with the art so check it out! And take a look at the other fics and art for the bang as they get posted this month!

~Ki

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Insta/TikTok: kicondraws