Halloween morning in Charms class, FitzSkimmons finally ran across the first spell in class that they'd already learned on their own.

Wingardium Leviosa

So after Professor Flitwick had explained the charm and how to cast it to everyone, and paired everyone up to begin practicing — with the exception of Harry, Hermione, and Ronna, who he let stay together since they were practically impossible to separate anyway and were the three best students in the class by a lot, seemingly able to remember the incantation and wand movements perfectly for every spell after just one demonstration — Simmons cast the charm on the table they were sitting at, gracefully floating it across the room over everyones' heads to Professor Flitwick's desk.

As it landed in front of him, and he stared down from his desk at their table, and the feather they were supposed to be levitating lying peacefully on top of it, Simmons looked over at him and deadpanned, "Oops. Sorry. But I did make the feather fly through the air, that has to count for something, right?"

Flitwick just stared at her, as with an eyeroll at his wife's cheeky antics, Fitz levitated the table back over to them so that the lesson could continue on after their little interruption.

But as soon as it landed back in front of them, Daisy said, "Now where am I supposed to levitate the table? Fitz, you were supposed to levitate it from Flitwick's desk to the other other side of the room, so I could levitate it back here — you two are third-wheeling me again."

"You can levitate the feather," replied Simmons, pointing at the object they were supposed to be levitating with a completely innocent look on her face.

So in retaliation, Daisy cast Wingardium Leviosa on Simmons' chair, floating her a few inches off the ground, but not so high that Flitwick would notice unless he was really paying attention to them, which he thankfully was not since they clearly already knew how to cast the charm, and so didn't need his help like the rest of the class did. After that, FitzSkimmons spent the rest of the class subtly levitating each other and their table, ending up three feet to the right and two feet forward from where they had started, much to the annoyance of most of the rest of the class, who hadn't even managed to make their feathers fly. Of course, Fitz didn't know what they were complaining about — none of the three of them had managed to levitate their feather at all during class, either.

But that unfortunately was the most fun they had in any of their classes that day, as the other two classes they had were still mostly going over basic spells, and didn't have anything as cool as levitating a feather (or, you know, the table and each other — or technically each other's chairs and clothes with each other still in them, as they all knew levitation didn't work on humans). That evening, however, was going to be anything but boring.

The Feast was going normally enough for a Halloween Feast in a magical castle in a magical world with a bunch of actual witches and wizards, when the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor suddenly burst through the doors from the Entrance Hall gasping in abject horror, "Troll — in the dungeons — thought you ought to know," before fainting into a heap on the cold stone floor.

As everyone around them panicked like wizards with their heads cut off, Simmons looked over at Fitz and Daisy and casually said, "You know, this would be a great opportunity to study the natural creatures of this world, if we were to say mosey on down towards the dungeons right about now…"

"No!" shouted Fitz and Daisy together.

"We're not part of this world, and we don't even know if this world is even real," added Daisy.

But at that moment, several purple fireworks deafened everyone into silence, and Dumbledore's voice boomed out, "Prefects, lead your Houses back to the dormitories immediately!"

While everyone around them jumped up and began scrambling for the doors, and prefects shouted orders to do precisely the opposite, FitzSkimmons remained calmly in their seats, helping themselves to some more shepherd's pie and watching the entertainment around them. They had been in danger before, practically lived in danger in fact, and the only danger they saw at the moment was being trampled to death by the stampedes of children stampeding all over the place.

As they continued to wait for everyone else to mostly clear out so they could join the back of a group before splitting off to their own dorms, Fitz said thoughtfully, "You know, wouldn't it be smarter to all stay in here, where there's only two sets of doors — the ones into the Entrance Hall and the small one over there to the side, wherever it goes to — that could each be blocked by a house table in front of it, and nothing would be getting in short of punching through the doors or the stone walls?"

As Simmons looked over at him in surprise, Daisy smirked, "Looks like someone's grown up from the kid on the BUS who could barely even be taken out into the field." But as Fitz grumbled to himself, "We were older than you, and actually had training," she continued, "And yes — that's definitely what I would suggest strategy-wise."

"Isn't the Slytherin dormitory actually in the dungeons, where the troll was last reported as being seen?" asked Simmons.

And before they knew what had happened, she'd leapt up and dashed towards the head table, to where Professor Dumbledore was still standing.

Fitz and Daisy dashed after her, arriving just in time to hear her ask the Headmaster, "Sir? Aren't the Slytherin dormitories in the dungeon, where the troll is? Won't that be sending them all straight into danger? Also, wouldn't this room be much more defensible, with only two sets of doors, than sending four groups of seventy kids through the various hallways unprotected, where any one of them could run up on the troll, whether he's still in the dungeons or has moved on to some other part of the castle?"

Dumbledore just stared at her in surprise for several long seconds, as those few students still left in the Great Hall continued filing out behind their prefects. It didn't take long for the hall to completely empty, leaving just FitzSkimmons and Dumbledore still in there, at which point he answered her authoritatively, "You three had better hurry along now, your House has already all left."

Knowing a lost cause when she saw one (especially as everyone had already left so it no longer mattered that Fitz's suggestion was strategically the best, it could no longer be implemented anyway), Simmons turned and strode out of the Great Hall without a word, Fitz and Daisy quickly following after her.

As they climbed the Grand Staircase a minute later, Daisy said to Simmons, "If it makes you feel any better, I think Fitz was right about how they should have defended against the troll, and you were right about the Slytherins being sent straight into danger and going to tell Dumbles both of those things."

"I already knew we were right, or I wouldn't have gone and told the Headmaster how to do his job — but I guess having Captain Johnson's stamp of approval isn't too bad, either," teased Simmons. "But you know how you could make me feel even better...?"

"You know, one day we should really find a way of showing our appreciation that isn't sex," said Fitz, rolling his eyes.

"I don't recall you thinking that last night when Simmons rewarded you for finishing your Potions essay, or even when you rewarded me on her behalf for finishing my Charms essay a little while after that," smirked Daisy.

"I never said I didn't enjoy it, I just think we ought to have something else as well," replied Fitz.

But as it turned out when they arrived at their dorm, appreciation of any kind was going to have to wait for a while, as they found a dining table sitting in the middle of the common area with three chairs set around it, and the table itself piled high with food.

"Looks like the house elves officially recognize us as living here instead of Gryffindor," said Daisy as they took in the spread, that contained at least twice as much food as the three of them could hope to eat. "I mean, it's one thing for the notice board to update, but this is really them acknowledging that this is our home."

"Yet still none of the professors have asked us about it, or even mentioned it," commented Fitz. "Which seems odd, especially Professor McGonagall, the Head of the House we're supposed to be in."

"I obviously can't know for sure, but I don't think she, or any of the other professors know," said Simmons. "This just seems to me like something they'd be rather strict about if they knew, and not something they'd just let slide without mention."

"Well all the better for us they don't know, then," smirked Daisy. "Because as soon as we're done eating, I fully intend on doing things to both of you that they would never approve of, even if they didn't think we were eleven and twelve."

The other two rolled their eyes at their wife's salaciousness, but immediately took their chairs at the table to finish up supper so they could get to being naughty.

~FSK~

The following morning when they entered the Potions dungeon, they noticed that Snape seemed to be hobbling, instead of sweeping around like his normal imperious self.

"Think he got on the wrong side of the troll last night?" asked Daisy quietly as they took their normal table in the very back corner of the room, as far away from Snape as they could possibly get, since Snape had yet to stop actively trying to abuse Harry in class.

"That would make sense since he wasn't hobbling at all yesterday when he left the Great Hall with the professors, but trolls are pretty big from everything I can remember ever reading about them in fantasy books in our world, so I'm not exactly sure how it could have got just his leg," answered Simmons, but at that moment Snape ominously clanged the dungeon door shut, so any more conversation would have to wait until class was over.

Of course, by the time they had finally made it out of the dungeons and were heading up to lunch with the rest of the Gryffindors, they forgot all about the fact that Snape was hobbling, as everyone around them was clamoring on nonstop about the first quidditch match of the season, which was barely over a week away. Anyway, it's not like they really cared about whether Snape was injured or not, as he had never been anything but cruel towards them and the rest of the Gryffindors, and if the cosmos was giving him a little comeuppance for his abusive behavior, what did they care? Plus, given the fact that between the three of them they had two deaths, a major brain injury, nonconsensual neck surgery, six months on a mostly barren planet, and more injuries of all sorts and sizes than really should be possible for three thirty-something year olds to have survived through, a slight hobble barely even counted as an injury in their book. If Snape was going to get himself hurt, the least he could do was do it properly.

But what certainly was being done properly around the castle was the excitement building up for the first quidditch match of the year, between Gryffindor House and Slytherin House. Everywhere they went, FitzSkimmons heard almost nothing but talk about the match.

So much, in fact, that a week later, the day before the match, as they walked up the stairs from the dungeons to the Great Hall for lunch, Simmons said in an undertone for only the other two to hear, "I know we go overboard for matches — soccer for you, Daisy — but it's like these people's entire lives hang in the balance of who wins. It is just a sport, after all."

"You're just too used to living in a world where everything actually does affect your survival to the next day, so something like this just doesn't seem as important to you," replied Daisy. "This is these people's lives, as mundane as that may seem to us. And you two still never miss a Man U match if we're not in the middle of world-ending catastrophe."

"And we've even caught a few in the middle of world-ending catastrophes when you and I didn't have anything particular to be doing," added Fitz to Simmons with a smirk.

"Not helping my point, husband," retorted Simmons, rolling her eyes at both of them. "I mean, all three of us have read pretty much every book I could find in the library about this sport, and while I'll admit that it does sound like it could be kind of fun, and when we get back I do want Fitz to build us a quidditch match in the new strictly controlled and limited Framework program Fitz has been working on rebuilding, this all just still seems too overboard to me."

"Let them have their fun," shrugged Daisy as they sat down at the Gryffindor table to eat. "It's not harming us any."

~FSK~

The following morning at breakfast, as the rest of the castle fangirled out over the day's quidditch match, Daisy looked over at Simmons and asked, "Simmons, wifey dearest — since everyone in the castle is going to not be in the castle for several hours this morning, professors included, do you think we know enough spells yet to go investigate the Corridor-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named?"

"Ooh, that's a brilliant idea!" replied Simmons. "And yes — I think we should be prepared enough to at least begin our investigations, even if we don't get so far as discovering what's actually so deadly about it."

So as the rest of the castle meandered down to the quidditch pitch a little while later, FitzSkimmons headed in the opposite direction, towards the forbidden third floor corridor on the right-hand side of the castle. Coming to the Charms corridor, they followed it right to the end, where they came to a door.

"Is this it? No warning signs, no 'Danger, Stay Out!', no nothing?" said Daisy disappointedly, staring at the mundane wooden door that looked basically the same as every other door in the castle.

"No big red friendly button to push?" teased Simmons, as she tentatively ran her fingertips over the wood.

"Oh, shut up," groused Daisy.

"See anything, Fitz?" asked Simmons, turning to where their husband was investigating the door as well.

"No — wish we had the dwarves," answered Fitz. "They could actually tell us something. All I'm getting is that this is a door at the end of a corridor, that for some completely unknown reason is out-of-bounds."

"Then I guess we're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way," said Simmons.

"Kick it down?" asked Daisy excitedly.

Simmons rolled her eyes. "No quaking power, remember? You can't just go breaking down doors and quaking whatever you find inside. No, I open it just a crack, and you try to peer through that crack and see what's on the other side, and if it's going to kill us. So stand off to the side."

Once Daisy and Fitz were safely against the stone wall, Daisy nearest to the door to protect Fitz (and Simmons) in case anything did jump out and attack them, and all three of them with their wands out and ready, Simmons slowly pushed against the door.

Just to find that it was locked.

"Oh, yay. How dangerous," deadpanned Daisy.

"Though it does kind of make you wonder why warn about it at all when it's locked," said Fitz.

"Will you two shush?" said Simmons, rolling her eyes. "Although your idea has some merit, Fitz."

Then she pointed her wand at the lock and said, "Alohomora."

The lock clicked.

"Shall we try this again?" asked Simmons.

Once they were all back in position, she slowly nudged the door ajar, until there was crack just large enough to peek through, before jumping back against the opposite wall herself. After several seconds of no ninja stars, or spears, or sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads came flying through, she nodded at Daisy. Daisy inched her way forwards, and peered through the crack. Almost as soon as she did so, she gasped.

"What do you see?" asked Simmons hurriedly.

Daisy pulled back slightly and put her finger to her lips, before motioning them over. "Stay quiet, but it shouldn't wake."

Fitz and Simmons joined her looking through the crack. On the other side, they saw what had made her gasp. For lying in the middle of the morning sunshine-lit corridor, was the largest dog any of them had ever seen. It also had three heads.

Pulling back, and pulling the other two back with her, Simmons said, "I guess we now know what the painful death Dumbledore was talking about is — or at least, what will cause said painful death."

"Hey, Fitzy — any chance you'd take one of those instead of the monkey you've always wanted?" asked Daisy, looking over at her husband.

"If you two and Coulson won't let me have a monkey on base, for some strange reason I have my doubts that you'd let me keep a three-headed dog the size of an elephant instead," answered Fitz, rolling his eyes at her. "Although, Deke is still around, so I guess stranger things have happened."

"Be nice to your grandson," admonished Simmons, smacking him on the chest.

"Technically, I think he was actually your first husband's," countered Fitz.

Preferring to avoid a potential squabble, Daisy quickly said, "Aren't we supposed to be figuring out if this three-headed dog is a threat we need to stop?"

"Right — of course," replied Simmons crisply, glaring at Fitz for a second longer before turning back to the door, and peering through the crack again.

"You know, I think we should name it Maggie, at least until we learn her real name," commented Fitz. "In fact, I think my favorite Hogwarts moment so far has been meeting this girl for the first time. She looks so smart, and funny, and beautiful…and I just want to stroke her hairy little face. Yep — all in all, I'd say discovering Maggie's been the greatest thing about Hogwarts so far."

"Maggie — I could definitely go with that," replied Daisy, as Simmons resolutely ignored them both.

But after several seconds of contemplating the magnificent, peaceful-looking ferocious beast, she did pull back and say, "I would imagine it is dangerous, and the school does needed shielded against it, when it's awake and, you know, being more ferocious-like. However, I haven't heard of anyone getting eaten by it yet, so apparently we're the only three to have bothered trying a very simple unlocking spell Hermione learned before ever even starting Hogwarts to unlock it, so it's not the greatest threat we've ever faced. What we really need to do is just make sure the situation stays like it has been the past two months. I suggest we create a lock that none of the children can get through, unlike the pathetic locking charm they put on the door, and our job as a shield will be complete. And by we, I mean — Fitz, you're up."

"You know, speaking of no one getting et, maybe it wasn't actually the troll that got Snape last week at Halloween. Maybe it was actually this cute, fluffy puppy dog. Think that's possible, resident biologist sweetie?" asked Daisy to Simmons as the two girls watched Fitz study the door.

"It's biochemist, and — you know, maybe you're on to something," said Simmons, before Fitz interjected, never looking away from the door, "You're bio everything, love, including bio-medical, bio-alien, and now bio-magical. Which means you're stuck being our bio-ologist as well, and I still have PTSD from a certain cat liver next to my lunch to prove it."

"Bottom of the Atlantic, multiple trips through space, one of those through time, the Framework, the fact you're literally a paradox you, and a bunch of other things too long to list — and a cat liver twenty years ago is still at the top of your list of things to have PTSD from?" retorted Simmons with a roll of her eyes.

Sensing a cat liver-related tiff impending — that sure wasn't a phrase she'd ever thought she'd be saying ten years before when she was still living in her hacking van — Daisy quickly said, "Snape, Maggie eating his leg — you were saying something about that."

"Right — of course. A dog bite would be more likely to cause someone to limp, although we're still stuck with the 'too large' part of the initial troll problem," answered Simmons. "But it's at least an equal likelihood to the troll theory, I'd say."

"Then maybe we'll be protecting the staff as well from this wee beastie, as you Brits would say, and not just the students," said Daisy.

"Yeah, no one's saying that," said Fitz, briefly glancing back at his American wife.

"Oh. Well, it sounded like something you guys might say. Anyhoo, just fyi, if Ronna's memories are at all trustworthy, wizards have no common sense. So something obvious for us will completely stump them, since all they can think of is magic and trying to magic their way through everything, instead of thinking their way through — in case that helps your engineering at all."

Fitz continued looking over the door for a while longer, before finally stepping back and saying, "I don't really have the tools to create an openable lock, but I've got an idea for a physical barrier to keep the door from opening, that we could remove if necessary," said Fitz. "That definitely shouldn't be 'unlockable' by Simmons' witchcraft because it's not actually a lock at all."

"Hey! Don't call my spells witchcraft!" exclaimed Simmons. "Even if I am a witch, and therefore technically every spell I cast is by its very definition the craft of a witch, namely me!"

"Is this going to turn into that whole shouting 'I love you' as loud as you can at each other thing again?" interrupted Daisy, rolling her eyes. "Because you guys can keep that to yourself in your mind-pods."

"You're just jealous because neither of us have ever yelled 'I love you' at you," teased Simmons.

"Ladies, play nice," said Fitz, before asking, "Jemma, got any spells that work like a really strong glue?"

"I've read about a Sticking Charm that should do just that. I'd have to go to the library to find out what the spell is, but I should be able to learn it by the time the quidditch match ends and we need to be out of here," answered Simmons.

"Do it — it'd probably be good to know anyway," replied Fitz.

As Simmons hurried off towards the library, Daisy looked over at Fitz and asked, "So what do you need me to do, best husband in the world?"

"Well, the goal is to use the doorframe molding from Maggie's side of the door to get planks of wood that will serve as a physical barrier to the door pushing in," answered Fitz. "Cut the two tall ones in half, plus the short one along the top, to make a total of five pieces. Then glue half of each plank to the door, and the other half to the wall, thus preventing the door from being able to be pushed open if it's unlocked. So I guess help me use the severing charm to remove the molding and cut the pieces in half, all while not waking Maggie."

"On it, boss," replied Daisy with a teasing salute.

Together, they slowly inched their way through the door and into the forbidden corridor so as not to wake Maggie. Once inside and not eaten, Fitz and Daisy pointed their wands between the molding and the wall and whispered the severing incantation, quickly liberating the wood decorativeness from its stony backing. Quietly sneaking the pieces back into the unforbidden side of the third floor corridor, they quickly had them severed in half, five strips of wood waiting to be stuck to the door and the wall.

When Simmons returned a short while later with the Sticking Charm, she asked Fitz, "But how are you going to stick it shut from the outside, and not lock yourself in with Maggie?"

"You know, I was wondering the same," replied Daisy, looking at Fitz as well.

"Hold the door open, use the charm to stick the wood to the inside of the door, apply the sticking charm to the halves still sticking out, close the door, and voila! — It's all stuck," explained Fitz with a flourish.

"Oh. That would work I guess," said Daisy. "I guess that's why you're the engineer, and I'm the punch, punch, kick, quake."

"But you said we would be able to get through it if we needed to — I'm not seeing how that will work," pointed out Simmons.

"Same Severing Charm Daisy and I used to remove the molding from the wall, and cut the long pieces in half, will slice right down the crack between the door and the doorframe," answered Fitz. "It destroys the barrier, but we're not planning on opening it ever, and it will be quick if we do need to — also, there's got to be an un-sticking countercharm, right? I'm sure you'll have learned it by the time we need to open this door again, Jemma, if we do."

"Oh — okay," replied Simmons.

Everyone happy with the plan, they quickly got to work, and soon had the door fortified with five new bars.

"Ready, ladies?" asked Fitz as he stood with his hand on the doorknob.

"All ready. Lock the wee beastie in — I still think 'wee beastie' sounds cool," said Daisy.

Rolling his eyes, Fitz shut the door, a slight blue glow briefly emanating through the crack between the door and the doorframe indicating that the Sticking Charms stuck. Fitz tried pushing against the door, to make sure it had actually worked, and was unable to make it budge.

"Impressive, husband," said Simmons, walking over to give her own light push against the door. "That should keep any adventurous students out of harms way, and maybe even save a few professors' lives."

"And just in time," said Daisy, as they heard the distant sound of crowds pouring into the Entrance Hall two floors below them. "Let's join them for lunch, whatcha you say?"