Like Father, Like Son
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story. The Prince, the King of All Cosmos, the Queen of All Cosmos, and all the cousins belong to Namco. I will use parodies of other copyrighted characters throughout the story as well.
Setting: This story takes place after Katamari Damacy and We Love Katamari, in the Great Cosmos…and of course Earth.
Any part of this story is subject to change at any time, including scene modifications, and the addition and deletion of scenes and characters. For now, this whole fanfiction is rated T, but later I may change it to M. Sorry that my summary is sucky, I will have the whole prophecy thing turn up in a later chapter, so don't get impatient with me, it will come.
Chapter One
This chapter is rated T for language, suggestive themes, and some crude humor
Chapter Theme: Katamari March Damacy—Katamari Damacy soundtrack
The Prince woke up startled and shivering. He sat up on the stone bench that served as his bed and looked around his small, barely furnished home. Something wasn't right; the Prince only woke up either by the rising sun or when someone uninvited was approaching, and it was barely morning. The Prince quickly but quietly slid off his bed and onto the cold, rough cement floor. Although he was the Prince of All Cosmos, his father did not allow him to live in the Royal Castle of the Cosmos or even on the planet that it was on. The King claimed that if the Prince lived on his own in the barest of necessities, he would rise into the stature and character of a true king. The Prince knew that his story was bogus.
After ensuring that the door was securely latched, the Prince levitated into the air, positioning himself right above the door. No one could sneak up on this Cosmic Being without him knowing. The Prince has had plenty of dangerous encounters with individuals, both mortal and immortal, who wished him gone. Although his parents taught him that a Cosmic Being could never be killed, he had heard of certain ways to make sure that one is never found or seen again. Thus, the Prince had learned how to fend for himself at a very early age.
What was that? A jiggle at the doorknob. What then started as a knock at the door became a loud, incessant pounding. Whoever it was, he was determined to come in. The Prince gathered within him what energy he could, which was much more than many other Cosmic Beings could ever hope to attain. Members of the royal family needed the extra energy to enforce their rule over the Cosmos. 'Well, whoever it is,' the Prince thought to himself, 'he will feel more than a little pain for barging into my home uninvited.'
Suddenly, the door was kicked in. The Prince raised his hands and lowered his smoldering eyes in preparation to deal justice, but he also restrained himself just in case it was best to flee rather than fight. Much to the Prince's chagrin however, he was greeted with a sound even more sinister than even the sight of the most grotesque creatures that haunted his dreams: trumpets and fanfare. He gasped as he gently glided down to the ground. A group of twenty angels gathered outside the door, along with a band complete with cherub singers. "No!" he cried, "Not my father's retinue!"
The most ornate angel of the group, Archangel Bianco, flew before the Prince, gave a quick bow (more out of custom than respect), and unrolled a scroll. Bianco read from the scroll with a flourish, "The most honorable, glorious, gracious, beautiful, impeccable, etcetera etcetera, King of All Cosmos, summons his tiny, miniscule, puny, and so on and so forth, but only begotten son, the Prince of All Cosmos (only said as a formality), to the most glamorous throne room in the universe, in the most majestic castle in the universe, yadda yadda to discuss the intricacies of the Prince's latest katamari rolling expedition, of which the King of All Cosmos will give his accurately perfect, unbiased, superb, blah blah blah, review of the Prince of All Cosmos' performance in the aforesaid event. The King of All Cosmos politely entreats his son, the Prince of All Cosmos, to attend His Majesty, in approximately twenty five minutes, although the Prince of All Cosmos is entitled to an extra minute or so if he wishes to be fashionably late. Thus ends this official, holy, and legally binding decree."
The Prince stood there for several moments, staring at Bianco with his mouth agape. Pulling himself together, he said, "Whaaaat! My father really made the royal scribes write that much?"
Bianco shrugged and said, "His Majesty actually had much more to say than was written in this decree, but the royal scribes narrowed it down to a manageable amount. Sometimes we think that His Majesty just loves to hear himself talk, honestly."
"But it's 2:00 in the morning!" the Prince protested, "What's he thinking!"
"Hah, you think you have it hard, Prince? Try being one of His Majesty's lowly angels, whose sole existence revolves around satisfying him. We have been up all night, because to make a long story short, His Majesty and the Queen had a bit of an argument, and the Queen would not allow him to sleep in her bed tonight. His Majesty has been keeping all the angels just as awake and miserable as he is. You sure are lucky you got to sleep this long, spoiled Prince. Now come along!" Bianco said and waved to two burly angels.
"Oh God!" moaned the Prince as the angels grasped his arms so tenaciously that the Prince felt his arms go numb. "So much for 'politely entreating' me to attend!"
"Well," Bianco laughed, "that's His Majesty for you. We are truly sorry, Prince, but we're only doing our job."
"I know, I know," the Prince sighed. The retinue began to fly away from the Prince's humble abode on his humble planet. The Prince looked back longingly, much preferring to be battling the demons of his sleep rather than facing his uncompromising father. He could certainly use the sleep; he was still sore from rolling around that huge katamari for the bird and elephant fans. He felt pains in muscles he never knew he had. As he wondered how his father would review his katamari, the Prince realized that he could have done a little better with the katamari's size, since there were a few clouds and islands he had missed. Then again, his father had kept pushing the Prince around with his Royal Rainbow, but of course that would be no excuse. He wondered if his father's review would be satisfactory or condescending and shuddered at the thought of the latter. The Prince looked forward, trying to clear his mind of all his doubts.
The Royal Castle of the Cosmos loomed into view. It was an imposing and stunning structure. The white walls of the castle were made of the finest alabaster, each of the gutters carved with lovely but painstaking detail into each of the animals that represented each King's reign—from daunting bears to raging bulls to majestic eagles to potent rhinos (or to 'adorable' red pandas as was his father's avatar animal) and so on. These images were prevalent just about anywhere both on and in the castle, to greater or lesser degrees depending on each King's influence. The windows were made of the finest stained glass in the Universe, depicting each King with his Queen. The roof shimmered with the hearts of a million rubies. The castle itself was surrounded by a moat full of molten, beautifully azure magnesium. Indeed, this was a structure fit for the King of All Cosmos, and it was large even by the King's standards, who himself was 3,200 meters tall. As the five-inch Prince stared at the eternally immense castle, he hoped that the castle would be an inheritance he would be able to grow into.
As the Prince and the King's retinue approached the moat, the retinue sounded with even louder trumpets and fanfare to inform the angels guarding the gate of their arrival. Within seconds, the golden drawbridge, lined with pearls, sapphires, and emeralds, slowly lowered to allow them access to the castle. The Prince often wondered why his ancestors even bothered to install a drawbridge or even the moat, since anyone who was anybody to the King could fly anyway. 'Oh, but of course,' the Prince thought sarcastically, 'it's a formality and it's way more kingly to have a moat and drawbridge.' Truthfully, it was probably one of the few simpleton Kings of the past that had installed it. Yes, even the Cosmic Royal Family had had its dunces.
As the Prince was escorted into the main reception room, his eyes were drawn like they always were to the mighty golden lion fountain installed by his grandfather, the late Emperor of All Cosmos. The Prince wished that he could someday meet his grandfather; he must have been brave and proud to have a lion as his animal, but alas, his father never told him where he may be found, even though he was supposedly still around somewhere in the Cosmos. The Prince had not even known that he had a paternal grandfather until his mother had told him about the Emperor a few years back.
The two burly angels finally released the Prince, and all of the retinue except for Bianco left the Prince to go about their business. Bianco motioned for the Prince to sit in one of the huge plushy pink sofas. He pointed to the current secretary, a lovely female angel named Lily, who incidentally was Bianco's wife. The Prince sighed; this could take all night. Bianco said, clearing his throat quite audibly, "I'm going to have to sort out your arrival with the secretary, so it may be a few minutes. You may as well make yourself comfortable, miniscule Prince."
The Prince hovered up onto a large, fluffy, hot pink sofa, but right when he sat upon it, he sank into its cushion. The Prince struggled to get out of the hot, stuffy sofa. He felt as if he were suffocating in a sea of pink. As he panicked, he could hear the muffled voices of Bianco and Lily, sounding as if they were in quite a heated argument although the Prince couldn't be sure. 'Crap,' thought the Prince as he thrashed about in the sofa. The Prince had inherited his father's nosiness, and thus always loved listening in to people's personal difficulties from a distance.
Finally, the Prince emerged into blessed light. He heard Lily say, "… didn't you come to dinner last night?"
The Prince used his miracle vision to view the ensuing conversation. Bianco was scratching his head looking nervous, while Lily was looking rather impatient. "Look, this is about the Prince, can't we talk about this later--"
Suddenly, a dense darkness loomed over the Prince. He looked up in dismay and was suddenly crushed deeply into the sofa. Someone was sitting on him, the Prince of All Cosmos! The Prince knocked upon the great behind, politely asking, "Excuse me, you're sitting on me. If you don't mind, I'm in a great deal of pain and would greatly appreciate it if you would get off of me."
The owner of the great behind seemed to not hear him, but settled further back into the sofa, causing the Prince to sink further into the sofa but at the same time nudged the Prince into the grand canyon of the great behind. The Prince began to sweat profusely in this humid environment. He was certainly in an uncomfortable predicament—if this guy/girl was someone important, or even a mere fan here to compliment the King, he would have to bear this insult lest he would want to suffer his father's displeasure and laser beams. Anything was preferable over feeling the sting of his father's laser beams. "Please, just don't crap on me!" the Prince begged even though he knew it was futile.
After what seemed like forever, the Prince heard a muffled voice outside, coming close enough to understand. "Prince, where are you? Prince! Oh God, he must have run off somewhere when we weren't looking! The King's going to kill me!" Bianco wailed, sounding like he was about to have a nervous breakdown.
The Prince screamed, "Bianco, you fool, I'm right here! Get me out of here this instant!"
"What? Prince, where?" Bianco stammered stupidly.
"Right here! I demand my release this instant or I shall trample you with mighty boots of iron as soon as I become King of All Cosmos! Same goes for this guy or gal as well! It's smelly and humid down here! The Prince of All Cosmos does not deserve to be treated like a piece of crap like this!" the Prince said, trying to sound serious. He had to choke back a chuckle or two.
"Excuse me, madam, could you get up a moment?" Bianco said urgently to the owner of the great behind.
"What, I'm not fat! Or am I? Oh well, I guess I will have to restrict myself to one piece of bread during dinner rather than a piece of bread and a carrot stick," said a very whiny feminine voice.
"Look, sister, I didn't call you fat, you just have something stuck in your crevice is all," said Bianco, never the assuming type, but then again all angels were like that.
"My crevice? Oh, you mean my butt crack?" giggled the girl. "Oh I do! I thought I had a wedgie or something. Would you like to get it out for me? I have tons of fans who would just swoon at the chance to do that!"
"Ehhh, no sorry lady," said Bianco, his face wrinkling with disgust, "Not even for His Majesty would I do that!"
"Hmph," said the girl, plucking a disgruntled Prince out of her grand canyon. "Well, the King better not complain when I decide to sue him! Hee hee!" The blonde haired, blue eyed, very anorexic girl grabbed the Prince in a crushing embrace, "Oh, you're sooo very cute and green! Can I keep him as a pet?"
The Prince flew up into the girl's face, fuming. "Now listen, I'm the Prince of All Cosmos, I'm not just some child's plaything, you, you---What!" the Prince exclaimed, flying back to Bianco, "Who is this, Bianco? What is a disgusting, human mortal from Earth doing here! Please, make her leave this instant! I don't want her soiling my future inheritance!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Prince. She is here at the request of His Majesty. This is the notorious singer from Earth, Tiffany Peers. She has had more admirers than the eye can perceive, and more lovers than the mind can imagine apparently, but only according to male pre-teen humans. Everyone else just ignores her. But the King wants to know the secret of attracting more pre-teens for some reason…"
"I'm glad I'm immortal, otherwise I would have myself checked for a disease," the Prince said and gave her an annoyed look, "Bianco, what if this…thing… needs to go to the bathroom like all mortals do?"
"Well, ummm, we'll deal with that when the time comes. You're such a worrywart, Prince. Now come along, we must not keep His Majesty waiting," Bianco insisted, dodging the subject.
"Hmph, I'm sure she's shedding skin flakes everywhere as we speak! For your sake, Bianco, she better not leave a little 'present' in the royal bathtub. I'm sure Mother would deal most sternly with you for that!" the Prince said indignantly.
"Prince," Bianco said with a smile, "shut up! The Queen would take that up with His Majesty, not me, at least I hope."
Bianco led the Prince through the Hallway of the Co-La-La-Lassus, the vast hallway one always had to walk through to reach the throne room. It was a great pain to endure through because the Royal Family basically utilized this never-ending room to brag about their rich heritage, great achievements, and imposing (and not so imposing) ancestors. Each King of All Cosmos always had at the very least five miles worth of hallway dedicated to them, more depending on the amount and quality of their achievements and their visual greatness. Considering that there was a King of All Cosmos since the beginning of all eternity, the hallway was seemingly close to being as long as the Cosmos itself, although one could not tell looking at the castle from the outside. Thus, the hallway was in and of itself impossible to exist.
Each section was distinctly different from the next, each boasting a huge portrait of that portion's King of All Cosmos, and of course, many idols and representations of each King, his Queen and his signature creature. Strange intricacies, such as mazes, paradoxes, shrines to peculiar things like donuts or cavemen, simulators of life on other planets, and anything else feasible and unfeasible to the mind were often found in each section depending on the King. The Kings also displayed the archangel(s) that served them during their term, and it always astounded the Prince how many of them Bianco had served in the past. Bianco may look and act young, but he was one of the most ancient angels of his father's retinue.
The Prince often wondered how there could be so much variation within his own family: some Kings were garish, some were simple, some were wise, some were dumber than a rock, some were prudent, some lived life on the edge, some were more serious than death itself, some did not know when to stop cracking jokes, some were profoundly pessimistic, some were annoyingly optimistic; the list went on and on—even among his cousins there were many differences. Luckily for Bianco and the Prince, they could fly at incredibly high speeds, but even so, it still took much longer than it should to travel through the monstrosity.
In a decent amount of time, they came upon his father's section of wall right before the throne room, as the most recent Kings were nearer to the throne room. Although his characteristically cute/annoying red pandas were dancing everywhere in this section, as well as god-like idols of himself and the Queen decorating every corner, the King also seemed to have recently added one of the strangest things that the Prince had ever seen in the Hallway of the Co-La-La-Lassus (which was a feat in and of itself)—a giant motif of the creepy Burger Tyrant, the mascot of the most popular fast food chain from Earth. The great Burger Tyrant effigy loomed over the Prince, glaring at him with dark eyes and frozen smile, with its ominous hands extended before him like he was preparing to molest an innocent child.
"Bianco, why did Father have this atrocity built?" said the Prince. This eyesore chilled him down to the bones…but strangely enough, he could not stop staring at it.
The Prince was not alone—Bianco had his eyes pasted onto it as well. "P-prince, I don't know when this was put in or why. He must've had a local artisan build it while I was gone. But you must admit, it is rather imitating, in a strangely arousing way."
The Prince did not reply. He slowly backed away from it, falling over as he did so and banging his head on the massive, gilded doors to the Royal Throne Room. "Well, this is it. Time to see what my father summoned me for," muttered the Prince, forcibly prying his eyes and mind away from the horrendous spectacle.
"Y-y-yeah," Bianco stuttered dreamily. Never removing his eyes from the Burger Tyrant, Bianco flew up and pushed the button that automatically opened the doors of the Royal Throne Room. But what greeted the Prince's weary eyes next made him groan in exasperation.
Well that's Chapter One...a rather tedious chapter for me, but Chapter One is always like that. I hope you enjoy it! I know I kinda go off on random deviants at times, but I try to make it at least remotely funny. Sorry if it's sort of lame.
The next chapter is fun, the King is in it! Oh, how I heart the King! Well, please R&R, keeping in mind that this is my first ever fanfiction (well, first that I posted anyway ). Also, in your review, tell me if you think Lalala is a boy or a girl. People tend to have mixed feelings about his/her gender, and I was planning a scene if she was a girl. But, I have an alternate scene planned if she isn't.