Chapter Two
This chapter is rated T for sexual references, alcoholism, and violence. And I do stress the violence, someone on the KD message board I frequent was quite taken aback by the violence. Perhaps I made it too violent? Should I remove it? Please, let me know what you think in the reviews.
Chapter Theme: A Song for the King of Kings—We Love Katamari soundtrack
The Prince observed the jungle of dense, red, cotton fibers and cried out in despair, "Bianco, don't tell me my father installed new carpet! What was wrong with the carpet of clouds he had in the throne room before? How does he expect me to get through that to see him?" The fibers were at least two feet higher than the pint-sized Prince; it looked as if the fibers would strangle him if he tried to move through it.
"So what if His Majesty installed new carpet, dimwit Prince, you can fly, right?" Bianco said matter-of-factly. "Or does being vertically-challenged also factor into flying?"
"Bianco, I swear…" said the Prince, trying to stifle his anger. "I can't just fly into the throne room! You should remember what happened to me last time!" the Prince said, showing Bianco the side of his waist where he still had scars from his father's burning lasers, inflicted a few days ago.
"Oh yeah, I remember that! His Majesty has an anti-aerospace law in his throne room for foreign objects. He thought you were a beetle!" Bianco laughed. "Well, sorry Prince, this is your problem, not mine. I have to go attend to His Majesty, and besides, you smell bad. See you later, despondent Prince!" Bianco said unhelpfully and flew up and over the carpet.
"Well, what do you think, Bianco? I was left rotting in a mortal's butt while you flirted with your wife!" the Prince screamed at Bianco as he left.
The Prince focused his attention on the sea of crimson fibers before him. As he walked into the carpet, the light above him dimmed, filtering only slightly through the fibers much like it does through a jungle's canopy. The Prince began sweating profusely as he exerted every last bit of his strength trying to trudge through the dense undergrowth of fluff. Within a few moments, the Prince was tangled hopelessly in the carpet, cursing his luck. He certainly wouldn't get through the carpet in time at this rate, although he was probably already late to his father's meeting. But he still might have enough time to be 'fashionably late' if he hurried.
The Prince conjured a trusty scimitar out of thin air. Conjuring was one of the many flashy and somewhat useless powers of Cosmic Beings, but it certainly came in handy for the Prince now. The Prince quickly severed the threads that bound him and began blazing a trail through the carpet. Although this certainly would ruin his father's carpet and he would probably get in trouble, what choice did he have? Either way, the Prince may be forced to endure his father's biting comments—he just hoped that he could avoid the lasers. In moments, the Prince emerged before the Royal Throne.
And there he was, the one and only King of All Cosmos, with his gloriously blinding royal golden crown, within which the Prince sometimes practiced his katamari rolling skills. The King prided his own magnificent cleft chin, thinking that his chin was the reason he had so many fans and followers. The Prince referred to his father's chin as a butt-chin. The Prince gazed up onto his father, falling over onto his back as he did so since his father was so much bigger than he was. The King was currently wearing his 'fashionable' sky blue jacket with two big purple sequined flowers on the sleeves. A frilly white collar embraced the King's neck. He wore white, silken gloves, along with a golden wedding band on his left ring finger, his extravagant ruby engagement ring on his right ring finger and a massive ring that contained the Cosmic Family's royal seal on his right middle finger—a ring that had been passed down through generations of the Cosmic Kings and a ring that the Prince would someday claim as his own. Hopefully.
As the Prince observed his father, he quickly averted his gaze as he saw his father in his full glory. As usual, the King was wearing skin-tight purple tights, which not only revealed his muscular thighs, but also his mighty endowment. Although many women, both mortal and immortal, salivated as they beheld the King's huge package, the only woman who could ever claim him as her own was his wife, the Queen of All Cosmos. While the King absolutely loved to be praised and applauded for his outward beauty, the Prince knew that his father wouldn't want any other woman in the whole Universe.
And it definitely showed now. His father looked tired and depressed, his right hand idly twirling the ends of his moustache, his left hand gripping a wine glass. A large bottle of wine was open and half-empty, sitting beside his throne with several other empty wine bottles the same size. By now, he was usually carousing in bed with his Queen. It looked as if the King was coping with his sex-free night by drowning himself with wine. The Prince shuddered—he could never tell how his father would react when he was like this. He could be absolutely brutal or equally compassionate when drunk.
The King finally noticed the Prince, but only by a passing glance. The King said in his strange slightly Aussie, slightly goofy, yet still somehow kingly accent, "Nik, what are you doing here? We summoned the Prince!" The King then suddenly started laughing as he observed the Prince, "Oh, Nik, how you love to eat! You have fattened up quite a bit since We last saw you, eh? You have pleased Us today. Perhaps later We can convince the Queen to cook some yummy deluxe ultra-fatty and greasy deep-fried fudge brownies with a slight aftertaste of mint for you; that is, if she will ever forgive Us for forgetting to fold Our laundry. Oh what a sad day, the day she refuses to part her legs before Us!" The King sobbed as he downed the last of his wine in the wineglass.
The Prince glared up at the King, fuming. He still confused him with the other cousins, his very own son! Bianco flew up to the King, topped off his wine glass, bowed deeply in midair, and told him, "Your Sexiness, that IS the Prince! Of course, its completely understandable," said Bianco, laughing as he passed a glance at the Prince, "he is looking rather on the plump side these days, if my opinion is worthy enough to be regarded by such magnificent beauty as Your Sexiness."
The Prince stared at Bianco, simmering, but of course, he was in front of his father, so all he could do was stick his tongue out at Bianco. This was a little game Bianco loved to play. Bianco was the best at sucking up to the King while insulting the Prince, but then again Bianco had had millennia of practice serving many of the great Kings of the past. Bianco had probably played this very same game with every Prince of All Cosmos. 'Oh well, Bianco better watch his back,' the Prince thought to himself, grinning.
The King meanwhile, lapsed into a dreamy, distant state, muttering, "…Sexiness…Yes, We are quite arousing aren't We?"
The King suddenly snapped back to reality, focusing on the Prince. "Bad, baaaaad Prince, you are supposed to bow before Us. We thought that We have discussed this with you before. Or is the King of All Cosmos not deserving of your respect?" the King said, raising an eyebrow.
"How dare he!" Bianco screamed dramatically, pausing for added effect, "Him, a rebellious little vagabond..."
'Ack, he's on a roll! I better bend my knee now before he gets too carried away,' the Prince thought as he pressed his face to the carpet in the most humble bow he could manage.
"…whose sorry, pathetic existence is owed to you, the Almighty, Gracious, Glorious King of Kings, in which the stars solely exist to boast of your eternally splendid reign and in which both angels upon high and Cosmic Beings, both royal and common, rejoice in the fact that you chose to stoop down from the heavens just to give us the pleasure of beholding your magnificent façade!" Bianco finished on the same, overly dramatic note, smirking at the Prince as he did so. Usually the King would merely accept the praise he received from his angels, but chide them slightly if they were being too theatrical about it. However, the King was drunk—he certainly wouldn't tell Bianco to shut up, which is why he was carrying on like this now.
"Yes, ungrateful Prince, bow—oh you already are bowing before Us?" the King said, looking slightly confused.
"But you wouldn't make Nik bow before you," muttered the Prince, remembering when his father had confused him with Nik a few moments before.
"Prince, We did not hear you. Speak up when you talk to Us. We don't like being left out of things. Makes Us think that you are saying very naughty things about Us," said the King, still retaining his comically confused expression.
"I said, 'Yes, father'," the Prince lied, speaking in a normal tone of voice.
"Whaat? That was even quieter than before, disobedient Prince. Perhaps We should spank it out of you with Our laser beams," said the King, a flame beginning to spark in his eyes.
"I said, YES FATHER!" the Prince squealed in fear, cowering and covering his head.
"Please do not scream at Us, loudmouthed Prince. We can hear you just fine; We are not deaf," the King said stubbornly. Suddenly, he began rambling in that dreamy state again, "Oh yes, Prince, We were thinking, that word you call Us… ah yes, 'father'…so bland, so ordinary, so mediocre, so not Us…" the King paused in contemplation, then added, "We were thinking… you should call Us 'sire' instead. Yes, so much more kingly, suave, debonair …sexy… like Us. Yes, that is what you shall call Us from now on, because We decree it!" the King said, signing and sealing an official scroll that the head scribe composed for the King as he was speaking. The scribe then flew down to the Prince, handing him a pink tinted scroll that was his copy of the decree. The Prince sighed (he hated it when his father was like this) and quickly folded it into a paper crane, mentally directing it to fly to his house. The crane came to life and flew out the window.
"We believe that's all We summoned you for, Prince. We can't really remember, We were thinking ahead too much... oh well. Now leave," the King said simply, downing another glass of wine. "By the way," added the King, wrinkling his nose, "your odor offends Us. Get a bath, stinky Prince."
'Yes!' the Prince thought. He couldn't believe his father had forgotten what he had summoned the Prince for, but then again, his father was always forgetful when he was this drunk. The King would probably forget all about today's events, not to mention the summons, entirely. Things were looking up for the Prince. He began skipping out of the throne room, whistling, but then the Prince's worst fears materialized themselves in an orange blur, slightly taller than the Prince, running past him and quickly approaching the throne.
"Nooooooo!" said the orange blur, which happened to be Ace. Ace had to be the most annoying cousin to the Prince—he considered himself to be the Prince's rival, and as such, he was always forcing the Prince to compete in things he would rather not be a part of, from pie eating contests, to month-long marathon races, to staring contests, even to bonsai growing competitions. Ace was also the biggest tattle-tale of the cousins—he just loved trying to spoon extra brownie points off of adult Cosmic Beings, especially the King of All Cosmos. Just about every adult in the Royal Family—aunts, uncles, the King's cousins—prided Ace on his honesty and his good looks. Just about everyone his age ignored him, but he was loathed by most of the cousins.
"My Liege," said Ace, bowing deeply and elegantly, while at the same time rising into the air to kiss his ring. "Did you see what the Prince did to your new carpet? He had absolutely no right to do that," said Ace, pointing to the path of shredded carpet. The Prince gulped, bowed his head and began to sprint toward the door.
The King spread his arm and the doors slammed shut right before the Prince with such force that the rushing air blew the Prince sprawling back before the throne. "No, culpable Prince, Ace has brought this to Our attention and thus, you are no longer permitted to leave Our throne room until you explain this mess. Our brand new crimson carpet was custom-made to bring utmost pleasure and comfort to Our tired feet!" The Prince saw Bianco hide behind the throne. Bianco only fooled around with the Prince; he never wanted to the Prince to get in massive trouble like Ace did. Ace was grinning cruelly at the Prince, sitting upon the King's right hand.
The Prince hated to upset his father; the Prince was pure-hearted and as such loved his parents more than anything, although he may not agree with them at times. The Prince began to cry, upset with himself more than anything, "B-b-but fa-fa- I mean ssssire," the Prince stuttered in between heavy sobs. He cried on for a few more moments then said, "You have re-re-restricted aerospace in your th-thr-throne room. Please, sire, you sh-shot me down la-last time I fl-flew in here. Please forgive me, please don't punish me!"
"We shall forgive you this time, melodramatic Prince. But, next time, think before you destroy Our fine, exquisite carpet. You will just have to roll Us up a new one tomorrow is all," the King said, moved by his son's tears.
"My Liege, don't fall for those crocodile tears! He has absolutely no regrets for what he did to your carpet! Plus, Your Excellency mustn't forget about this," Ace said, holding up a videocassette tape. Smirking he added telepathically to the Prince, 'The original reason you were summoned, miserable Prince. Hah, perhaps the King will finally come to his senses and kick you out of the Royal Family! Then I shall be the new Prince of All Cosmos!'
The Prince looked up to Ace with streaming eyes, and continued their telepathic conversation, 'Ace, why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do to you? Please, have mercy! If you show me mercy and don't show my father whatever is on that tape, I promise, I shall be your slave for five Earth years. Or longer of necessary."
Ace glowered down at the Prince, remarking, 'You were born, Prince, born to the King of All Comsos, instead of me! Prince, you of all Cosmic Beings should know that five Earth years is not long enough. Hah, years! They pass by like the last twinkles of a dying star. No amount of time would make me reconsider.' With that, Ace placed the tape in the King's hand.
The King said, "Hmm, what was on this tape again? Archangel Bianco!"
Bianco nervously flew up to the King, "Y-y-yes Your Machoness?" The Prince could see that Bianco hoped this would buy some time for the Prince, perhaps even make the King forget. However with Ace there, that was not possible. The Prince winked at Bianco anyway, sending him a mental note of thanks.
"…Machoness… Ahhhh, yes, We are so high and mighty," the King sighed but Ace jostled him out of his praise-induced euphoria by pulling on the King's thumb.
"Your Majesty, do not forget about the tape!" Ace said.
"Ah yes, Bianco, do not distract Us this time. We are very upset with your disobedience. Perhaps We should demote you to not-so-much-of-an-archangel or to the chief mushroom farmer. Put it in and remind Us why We are seeing the Prince at this very late hour!" Bianco flew quickly but erratically to the VCR, grasping his heart and silently shedding a few dewdrops. Angels could not bear being called disobedient by the King; it harmed the very essence of their souls. The Prince guessed that Bianco was shedding some for him as well.
The King snapped his fingers and a huge plasma screen TV descended from the ceiling. Bianco, still clutching his heart and heaving, pressed 'play' on the VCR. It was a recording of a 'news' show from Earth, called the B.S. Dawn Show. As cheerful, jazzy music greeted the over-delighted humans to a bright new day, the Prince could see his doom looming on the horizon. The Prince gasped when he saw a look of revulsion suddenly appear on the King's face. Crap, his father recognized the show! The King met his eyes, but the Prince quickly tore his gaze away, not willing to face his father yet. The Prince forced himself to look at the television. Ace, snickering, was quickly fast-forwarding to the dreaded part.
A dark-haired female human, who appeared to be from the section of Earth called 'Asia,' appeared on the screen smiling. So she would be the harbinger of the Prince's torture. She smiled to the camera as she said, "And now, America, it is now time to report the final results on the top ten largest katamaris that were made here on Earth by the Royal Cosmic cousins!" The TV screen flashed a few brief pictures of Dipp dirty dancing in a club with Peso, Kinoko laying among a patch of mushrooms, and Lalala running from Earth's police force, complete with pixilation to censor her naked body. "Coming in tenth place, Daisy, with 1,810 meters; in ninth place, Shikao, with 1,853 meters…" The Prince risked a quick glance at the King, who, in turn, was glaring sullenly at the TV. The Prince quivered, knowing the inevitable was quickly approaching. "And in third place, the Prince, with 3,588 meters; in second place, Beyond, with 3,590 meters; and finally, in first place, Opeo, with 3,605 meters. This is Jun Miyasaki, reporting live from New York City."
The Prince looked at his feet. He could feel his father's piercing gaze searing into the top of his head. "How could you bring this shame upon Us, Prince? You let queer banana and diseased mummy beat you, slacker Prince. You have disappointed Our fans on Earth, and even more so, you have made them lose faith in Us, in Our ability to produce an adequate son from Our prodigious seed. Remember, lazy Prince, if you ever hope to achieve the throne, you must work for it," the King said, enraged. The room began to darken. Ace began laughing, and the King yelled at him, "Ace, get out of here now! This is between the Prince and Us."
Ace gave the Prince a cocky, superior look as he passed by. The Prince imagined that Ace was going to watch his punishment from a distance, laughing all the while.
"B-b-but sire," the Prince began to cry again, partially upset, partially terrified, "you kept picking on m-me with your r-r-Royal Rainbow. I w-w-would have done much b-b-better if it wasn't for that." The Prince quickly covered his mouth, realizing that he had just said the wrong thing to his drunken, irate father.
"Do not ever blame your mistakes on Us, sniveling Prince!" the King boomed, his eyes flaring and emitting a long, sizzling laser beam. It had barely missed the Prince, but he could feel the air burning and crackling next to him. The Prince shrieked and dived into the dense carpet, thinking that the King would not want to ruin his carpet anymore. Boy, was he wrong.
The Prince quickly regretted his decision as he felt agonizing beams of liquid fire sear through his veins, shock his nerves, and at the same time chill his bones. Not only did he feel physical pain, but he also felt emotional pain at knowing that he disappointed his father as well as mental pain as his father incorporated psychic blasts within each beam that made his mind lurch and stagger painfully. He was worse off than before now—he had quickly become hopelessly tangled in the carpet once again. At least out of the carpet, he could try to dodge at least some of his father's laser beams. His father, seeing the Prince tangled, concentrated an agonizingly long beam on the Prince. The Prince wondered if this is what mortals imagined 'hell' to be like.
After what seemed like an eternity to the Prince, his father stopped. The Prince gasped as he felt as if thousands of hot iron needles were piercing through the surface of his skin, embedding themselves into him. Then, they began to burn in a dull, throbbing pain. The aftereffects of the lasers were almost worse than the actual lasers themselves. The Prince just lay there on the now totally demolished carpet, twitching and smoking, feeling like he had endured a thousand of those 'hells' humans so avidly advertised. The King gently picked up the Prince, saying, "Oh, did We overdo it again? Oh, how clumsy of Us!" The King patted the Prince gently, enticing a moan to escape the Prince's lips; that was basically all he could do now. "Now, what were We angry with you about? Hmmm…" the King pondered. The Prince replied with another disheartening moan. The King broke into tears suddenly, crying, "Oh, Our son, We are so sorry. You're so cute and green! We punished you too much, more than your little pint-sized frame can handle. Just do Us a favor and don't tell the Queen, okay Prince?"
The Prince would have laughed if he could at his father's sudden transformation from the just, smiting King with an iron hand to a doting, loving father. But all that came out was a weak wheeze followed by another moan. The King looked around, making sure no one was around. But, someone was still around. There was Ace, laughing manically behind the great doors to the throne room. Apparently forgetting that the King was standing there, feeling guilty for the gratuitous punishment he had just meted out on his son, Ace yelled quite audibly, "So, Prince, you finally get what you deserve! Oh, I'm so going to get some cookies this time!"
The King bared his teeth in rage. The Prince managed a small smile; he had never, ever seen his father so angry before! "Ace, never laugh at the expense of others. Our son may be small and a bit bumbling at times, but at least he has a heart of gold. But, more importantly, you have disobeyed Us. We are the envy of the Universe!" the King said in a dangerously low tone. Before Ace could even utter another breath, the King emitted a blindingly large, intense blast at Ace. It looked as if it was the same blast that the King used to crush old stars and planets into stardust. When the smoke finally cleared from the blast, Ace was a horror to behold; he was disfigured and his flesh seemed to be boiling.
The King, however, had even more plans for Ace. He pressed a big, black button emblazoned with a supernova on the left arm of his throne. Suddenly, a trapdoor opened up in the middle of the throne room, expelling a rolling mist that soon blanketed the floor. All heat and bright light was suddenly whisked away from the throne room. A cold, eerie light illuminated the trapdoor. The being that levitated out of it literally stole the Prince's breath away. It wore black, ragged robes. Piercing, pale blue, soulless eyes gleamed out at the King from a darkness that was even blacker than the robe. One of the white, gloved hands grasped a bloody flail. Long, white hair swept out behind this awesome figure. It spread its dark raven wings as it asked in a cool voice, "Utmost Justice has summoned me and I have arrived. What is it that you wish?"
"Ah, yes, Our Supreme Seraphim of Justice, Akros," the King said, facing this gloom being as if he was a dearly close friend, "We want you to take Ace down to the dungeons. We want him flogged, hanged, trampled, stretched, and forced to watch reruns of that horrid sitcom Filled Home." The King pondered for a moment longer, then said, "Oh, and you may as well crucify him and throw him into the Lake of Fire for good measure."
"As you wish, so it shall be, Master," said Akros, bowing his head slightly to honor the King's authority. Then, the seraphim slowly hovered through the mist to Ace, ignoring Ace's screams for mercy. The Prince could hear chains clanking and rattling as he moved. Akros leered down at Ace with those dead eyes, suddenly grasping him with his free hand. Ace appeared to be shivering and lost all color. The seraphim descended back into the trapdoor from whence he came, taking the cold darkness and rolling mist with him.
The Prince wheezed in shock. He had never known that there could be dungeons in such a happy place as the Royal Castle of the Cosmos! That had to be a thrilling place to explore, especially since it was presided over by such an ominous being as Akros. He would have to tell the cousins about this! Then, the Prince, his strength sapped away by the excruciating pain, lost all consciousness.
After taking care of Ace, the King gently tapped the Prince, "Prince? Oh, Our poor son has passed out. Hopefully, he didn't see Akros." Once again glancing around to ensure that no one was around, the King focused his will next to the Prince in his hand, causing a 10 centimeter katamari to condense beside the Prince. "Now, don't worry, broken Prince, you don't have to roll this katamari until tomorrow morning. We shall walk you home to make up for Our naughtiness." The King slumped out of his throne and tripped, dropping both the Prince and the katamari. Bianco, recovered from the earlier injury to his soul, flew beside the Prince and the katamari and said, "Your Grace, perhaps I should escort the Prince home. Not to infringe or anything, but Your Majesty appears to be too inebriated to take the Prince home."
"Nonsense, Bianco. We…can…handle this," the King said, grasping the Prince and the katamari again and heading toward the open window. "Yes, We are the King of All Cosmos; We can easily handle Our pint-sized son without any help! Oops," the King slurred as he stumbled on something the King concluded was defiantly deciding to be non-existent. "Stupid air," the King grumbled. "Now where are the Prince and his katamari?"
"My Liege," Bianco said. Then he assisted the King, saying, "you've fallen pretty hard, are you okay?"
"You think a mere fall would harm Us, Bianco? No! Now, answer Our previous question, shunning Archangel!"
Bianco trembled at the insult and pointed out the window, "Your Magnificence, during your fall, the Prince and his katamari fell out the window. It just happens to be the window facing Earth, so I imagine that he is heading on a crash-course for Earth."
"Darn it. We wanted him to sleep in his own home on his personal planet, not on Earth," the King pouted.
"Well, we can still retrieve the Prince and bring him back if you wish," Bianco advised cautiously.
"Oh well, We guess it doesn't make any difference. Earth, Planet Prince, it doesn't matter. The Prince shall sleep either way," the King said hurriedly, then added, "But, We suppose that We should at least direct his course to a suitable rolling spot for tomorrow." The King suddenly entered into a state of deep concentration. Bianco left him to attend to other business.
After an hour, Bianco and several angels saw the King still sitting by the window. It shouldn't have taken the King that long to direct the Prince's route. They approached the King slowly, but soon heard snoring. Bianco and the angels quietly propped a bucket under his chin and covered him with a blanket, silently wishing the Lord of their Existence a good night.
Ah, Chapter Two, a chapter that I now know like the back of my hand essentially. I've read it and re-read it and revised it too many times to count honestly. Well, I hope you liked it!
Please, once again I ask, R&R. Please, let me know about Lalala's gender, I can still change it while it's early! It may be awhile before I post Chapter Three, that's going to be my first rolling chapter. I have it in its barest form in my notebook, but my chapters usually undergo a complete transformation while I type it up on the computer.