Alright, I've added chapter titles to my fanfiction, just cause I can. I'm kinda scared to post this chapter, because it may be confusing. I tried in vain to explain katamaris and crap using sci-fi/fantasy elements. So, yeah, this chapter may be boring, and I apologize in advance for this. I tried to put a little humor in it. Ok, this chapter is rated T for one curse word and a little spat of violence...oh and I poke a tiny bit of fun at history. Oh, I almost forgot, from now on, 'single quotation marks' surrounding dialog will refer to the characters speaking telepathically to each other. Or one character thinking to himself (I say himself because for the most part this story is from the Prince's viewpoint). Not too confusing, or is it?
Chapter Three—Adieu, Poor Mr. Rooster
Chapter Theme: Cherry Blossom Color Season—Katamari Damacy soundtrack
"Owww," the Prince moaned as he was awakened by a fierce, stabbing pain in his head. It felt as if someone had hammered a pen through his head. What had happened last night? The Prince lay there for several minutes, thinking, wondering. Ai, it hurt even just to think. He imagined that this was exactly how his father often felt after a night of heavy boozing. 'I thought I swore to never fall into that same habit that my father has,' the Prince contemplated.
Suddenly, the Prince saw the sun rise. As the sun illuminated a beautiful farm and a rooster crowed, all the memories of the night before flooded back to him. It was almost the exact same scene from the beginning of the B.S. Dawn Show--the cows quietly grazing on the soft green grass, the sheep baaing to each other, geese swimming in a picturesque pond, lights coming on in the home, and happy-go-lucky human spawn screaming out into the daylight while their parents got ready for work. The Prince shuddered as that human Asian news reporter seared into his mind's eye, grinning as she reported his damning results.
As the Prince remembered what happened, he extended his arms out before him, rolling back his sleeves. Thin, purple scars laced up his arms. They were still very tender, he discovered as they stung slightly when he traced them gently. The Prince conjured a mirror before him and screamed as he beheld his scar-laden face. He hoped that he could hide this from his cousins—he didn't want them to criticize his father.
'Oww, Our head, Prince, Our magnificent head! How it pains Us!' the Prince 'heard' the King say in his mind. The Prince laughed at the irony of the situation. 'Silly Prince, this is no laughing matter! Oh, Our head! Why are you down on Earth anyway?' the King said, emitting a long 'Hmm.' The King then gasped in wonder, saying, 'Ah, yes, Prince, you were the cause of it! Yes you were, it's not Our fault this time. You broke Our lovely carpet. It was so full of wonderful fluffiness, and you broke it, destructive Prince. So, We need you to fix it by rolling up as many soft and fluffy things as possible.'
'I think he wrecked more destruction on his carpet than I did,' the Prince thought to himself carelessly.
'Hey, We heard that, Prince. Do not think of your absolutely impartial, yet still perfectly immaculate sire as such, ungrateful Prince. We have quite magnificent lasers, don't we? As yes, how beautifully silent, mysteriously deadly, truly a wonder to behold,' the King boomed in his head; the Prince had forgotten how invasive his father was; he even learned the art of reading other Cosmic Being's thoughts. He often pried into the Prince's most personal thoughts while at the same time filling his brain with self-praise. The Prince clasped his head in horror as the King continued to ramble, 'Oh, Prince! We have to prepare to meet with Tiffany Peers! We must prepare, We must look even more dashing than usual! Maybe We should grow a new pompadour? No, not enough time! Or get a new nose job? No, Our Royal Nose is Our pride and joy.' The King suddenly exclaimed, 'Oh, We know what We shall do. How noble We shall look 3! So, luckily for you, Prince, you will have a full eight minutes to roll us up the most warm and fuzzy katamari that you can manage. We shall spare you a moment to get acquainted with your new katamari.'
The Prince groaned quietly to himself, "What? Don't tell me that dirty mortal is still there! I can just imagine the filth…so much for a stain-free inheritance." Luckily for the Prince, the King was attending other business at the moment instead of inspecting his mind. The Prince stood up slowly, ignoring the persistent pain. "Well, I better get to work," the Prince said, cracking his knuckles. Although still very sore from his last katamari and the ensuing punishment, he had to perform his father's wishes, lest he suffer a worse punishment. Besides, the Prince knew how to mentally block out all pain while rolling a katamari.
The Prince gingerly rubbed his hand over his new katamari. The heart of the katamari was colored hot pink, its projections, the parts most responsible for sucking objects onto its surfaces, were white with red hearts on the ends. The katamari itself seemed to give off an aura of extreme warmth and comfort, so much so that the Prince felt as if he were about to fall asleep just by standing next to it. The Prince gave his katamari a slight push. The katamari rolled slowly and exerted great friction on the ground as it rolled, much like a ball of yarn would. Each katamari was unique; each was made specifically and perfectly for its particular role and purpose. The Prince always had to treat each katamari differently, just as one would treat an individual differently according to his needs and expectations. That was what made rolling a katamari so difficult to master.
He sighed in pure zen; this was what he lived for, what he was born to do. The Prince was always at his happiest when he rolled a katamari. The Prince's very being merged with that of the katamari and they became one, bent on the completion of the task. The katamari was now an extension of the Prince—he could 'feel' and 'see' through the katamari like it was a part of his body. The Prince and the katamari came to an understanding of the goal and of the roles each would play in order to achieve that goal.
The Prince felt his heart leap in gratitude. His father had directed him to a farm. Of course, there were plenty of fluffy things to roll up on a farm! The Prince sent his warm feelings of gratitude and love to his father. He felt his father smile in turn. 'Ah, Our son, you have forgiven Us. Here, We shall help you feel better.'
Suddenly, a bright, dazzling rainbow beamed down from the heavens. 'Sire, I haven't rolled it yet,' the Prince said as he backed away from the Royal Rainbow, confused.
'No, befuddled Prince. This Royal Rainbow will not take you back. Bask Our Royal Rainbow's glory, so reminiscent of Our own glory!' the King insisted.
The Prince obediently stepped into the rainbow, trusting his father. The Royal Rainbow slowly lifted the Prince off the ground, invigorating him. The Royal Rainbow filled him up with a comfortable warmness despite the brisk morning air. The Prince sighed in ecstasy as he felt the pain melt away. He watched in amazement as the scars disappeared completely, leaving his skin free of blemishes. The Royal Rainbow faded away, slowly lowering the Prince back onto the ground. 'Now, Prince, don't get used to this. Our Royal Rainbow can only be taken in moderation. Large doses of it can cause even the most serious and sane Cosmic Beings to go mad. Same goes for mortals and other immortals, actually. We guess that it is because no one can handle the sheer brilliance of Our power. Or perhaps they just can't take so much happiness in one sitting. Maybe something else entirely,' the King said dreamily, trying to think of what it could be. He gave up, saying in frustration, 'Oh bother, it's not like We care or anything! Why should the King of Kings trouble himself with something so mind-bogglingly pointless?'
The Prince, ignoring his father's outburst, proclaimed, 'Thanks, sire. I am ready to make you proud, to show my cousins that no one can beat a member of the immediate Royal Family and get away with it!'
'Good, good inch-ling Prince. We love your enthusiasm. So pure, so simple, yet with a lovable lust for vengeance. You will do well, Prince, We are sure,' the King said tearfully. Then, he asked, 'Prince, during your day's rolling, please roll Us up some headache medicine. We are so busy, We can't even summon one of the angels to do so and Our headache still rages on with the fury of a thousand beers. Earth is full of stuff, so We are sure you can find some while you're at it. Plus, Earth is known for its strong pain relievers. Now, go roll Us up a super-fad comfortable katamari, reliable Prince.'
As the Prince began to roll his katamari, he wondered if his father even forgot what he drank last night. It wouldn't surprise him if he did. The Prince first rolled over a soft patch of winter rye grass, followed immediately by a row of soft, white down feathers. He smiled as the objects stuck to the katamari. The katamari made happy little 'swoop' noises with each item that it consumed. Ah, how innocent a katamari's joy is! How they love to wreck havoc and confusion among the people of Earth! It always brought a tear of joy to the Prince's eyes.
The Prince pushed his katamari along a path of velvety moles and silky shrews. Whenever a katamari rolled over something, it exerted enough pressure to stick the object to the katamari, but not enough to crush the object. Amazingly, the katamari itself, while rolling, did not crush objects with its own weight even when it was sitting directly on them because it hovered slightly, just enough to relieve objects of its weight. Therefore, living things remained alive when they were rolled up in a katamari; in fact, many living things often felt a high sense of euphoria and peace within a katamari. As soon as the shrews and moles got over there initial sense of fear, they settled down comfortably on the katamari, even nibbling on bits of the winter rye the Prince had rolled up earlier.
The Prince had studied the principles and nature of star-making with his personal tutor. Katamaris are made into a star based on the things that got rolled up into it. The star was made bulk-wise according to the size and amount of both living and non-living things on the katamari. Each star also had a 'soul' made according to the essence of living things on the katamari. Living things often lived on the star for a short period of time while the 'soul' of the star was still developing. The star would absorb the energy from their personalities and assume their physical attributes in a sense while they lived on the star. For example, when the Prince rolled up fish for the katamari that would become Pisces, the katamari adopted a very fresh and lively nature, and shone as such in the night sky. A star, by no means, took any lives in the process, and when it was fully developed, it would transport everything it that it 'borrowed' back to Earth unscathed.
The Prince laughed as he rolled up a heavy Physics book. Indeed, katamaris, in fact, Cosmic Beings themselves, defied what humans called "the laws of Physics." Over the years of rolling katamaris, the Prince knew that katamaris inspired strange and absurd things to happen. He had recently seen a staircase composed of winner's podiums, a bear head replacing the head of Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore, several cows swimming in the ocean beside a racetrack, and several beings appear that the Prince swore didn't really exist on Earth, such as Jumboman and Santa Claus. Cosmic Beings often scoffed at humans and other such 'intelligent' mortals when they tried to define how the Great Cosmos worked. The King of All Cosmos himself had recently declared Physics to be nothing but 'a load of confusing hogwash, not worth Our time, so it's not worth anyone else's time either.' 'Hah, mortals are so stupid,' the Prince thought to himself.
He came upon a great cotton field which presented a confusing sight to the Prince. Several strange people were out on the cotton field picking cotton. The Prince swore that he saw a sumo wrestler, a bear-man, a clown, a gypsy dancer, and several other out-of-place people on the cotton field. What confused the Prince more was the fact that they were all picking cotton. Although the Prince had only studied a very brief portion of Earth history, he could've sworn that humans did not enslave each other to work on cotton farms anymore. 'Typical wishy-washy mortals, they can never decide what they really want,' the Prince thought. In fact, they were a lot like his temperamental cousin, Marcy, who could never decide what she wanted to do.
'No, no, deluded Prince, you are wrong!' the King interrupted suddenly. 'They aren't slaves, they're farm-hands! Instead of working the whole day for a few meals and a night's stay in a shack on the employer's territory, they work the whole day for what they call minimum wage, which they use in turn buy their own shack and meals.'
'No offense, sire, but that sounds a lot like the same thing as slavery, just not as direct,' the Prince said as he rolled up some pieces of pocket lint that had collected on the ground.
'Hmm, We were thinking the same thing. Slavery sounds so much easier, in Our opinion, but then, according to humans, they are not free. Apparently, when they are free, they can vote for complete strangers to rule over them. The strangers, in turn, come up with rules for them to obey while taking away a large portion of their minimum wage. Sounds fun, yes? We hear that a century or two ago, well, in the more western parts of the world, that those strangers wore powered wigs. Quite the fashionable things back in the day really, brought into popularity by one of Our great ancestors,' the King said in a daze. He then said to himself more than anyone else, 'Maybe We should start wearing a powdered wig. Oh, oops, We are supposed to be busy, go back to rolling, dawdling Prince.'
'Sure sounds like "fun",' the Prince thought sarcastically to himself, now even more confused than ever. He decided to concentrate on what he could understand—katamari rolling. By now, the katamari was large enough to roll up the cotton in the cotton field. He felt katamari growing more and more excited as it anticipated the vast amounts of cotton that would soon stick to it. His hands tingled slightly where they touched the katamari. Suddenly, the Prince gave his katamari a quick push and deftly rolled up all the cotton that he could. The katamari relished this moment more than anything as more and more cotton stuck to its surface. Suddenly, the heart of the katamari swelled in size. The various items that it had collected so far migrated around the surface of the katamari to accommodate the boost in size without falling off.
Now, they could roll up even larger things. The Prince looked onward with his miracle vision and spotted a trail of pillows leading up to a barnyard full of chickens, mice, doves, rabbits, and cats. The katamari wasn't quite large enough to roll up the chickens and a few of the fat tabby cats, but the Prince knew that it wouldn't be too much longer before it would be. He had to strike quickly or else the doves would fly away. Waiting for them to return would cause him to lose precious time.
The Prince began to sprint and push the katamari quickly. The katamari, however, spun in place, knowing the Prince needed speed for this roll-up. The katamari spun quicker and quicker, waiting for the Prince to build up the right amount of momentum. Just when the Prince felt like he couldn't build up anymore speed, the katamari raced down the path of pillows and zipped toward the group of animals. The Prince could barely keep up with the katamari, which made it very hard to maneuver. The Prince, however, was one of the top pros of katamari rolling and managed to roll the katamari in a wide partial circle. He was barely able to roll up all the doves and rabbits. The Prince, especially during charges, had to roll the katamari mostly through sheer will. Rolling through sheer will was hard to master even by the Royal Cosmic Family. Although many Cosmic Beings could only roll through physical strength, only a select few could effectively manage a charge through physical strength alone. For the majority, a charge would cause the katamari to run wildly out of control and a collision would result, causing the katamari to lose precious items. The King had told the Prince stories of a few of the great Kings of the past that could roll solely through sheer will. The Prince aspired to achieve that goal, although he doubted that he could. Especially since his very own father had never even gotten close to mastering the technique.
The Prince bowled over the cats and picked up the stray mice in the process. He quickly maneuvered around a rooster that threatened to peck off some of his items. Some of the cats hissed in pain as they lay on the ground. Being bowled over by a katamari was not a pleasant experience, although being rolled up by one is. He quickly gathered up the cats in apology. The chickens had by now gathered in a group on the far side of the barnyard. It appeared as though there were several hens and one large, proud rooster looking over them. The Prince once again prepared a charge, determined to bowl all of them over. To the Prince's surprise, the katamari rolled up all the hens right away and only bowled over the rooster. The rooster, however, leapt back up almost immediately and began to dash to a little hovel below the barn. The Prince wasn't going to let that happen. He prepared a partial charge and rolled up the rooster right before it jumped into the hovel. Although the Prince lost a few items as he collided into the barn, it was a small sacrifice that he had to make to achieve a larger size.
Even though the rooster was now rolled up alongside his hens, the insipid creature was still panicking as the katamari rolled around. When the rooster was rolled over to the Prince's side, it pecked and scratched at him causing two long, jagged cuts to appear on his chest and arm. The Prince roared in pain. "Arg, stupid poultry!" the Prince cursed, slamming the rooster's head deep into the katamari. The rooster thrashed about wildly, wailing in terror. The Prince held its head down and felt panic soar through its body as it realized that it was going to die. The Prince continued to hold the rooster down until he felt its body go limp. Finally, he released it and its body was absorbed deeper into the katamari.
'Oh Prince, you just had your first, umm, murderous anger outburst! And it was with a rooster too. Just like Us! The same exact thing happened with Us. Stupid roosters, noisy things always crowing and pecking,' the King said. He always loved to applaud the Prince's achievements, often broadcasting it out to the public to the Prince's embarrassment. 'Prince, We would celebrate with you more, but…Tiffany Peers…'
'Dad, I mean sire, it's fine, believe me,' the Prince said quickly, forgetting his father's new alias for a moment. He suddenly felt overwhelming guilt consume him. What kind of Cosmic Being was he becoming? He didn't want to give into his base urges, just as his father had done throughout his whole life. He looked at his hands, those monstrous hands that had taken the life of that proud, handsome rooster. He was probably the prize rooster of the humans that lived on this farm, maybe they were even dependant the money that they would earn from him. Although the katamari did not kill anything when becoming a star, it could not bring bodies that were on it back to life. The Prince sobbed quietly as he continued to roll his katamari, rolling up several silken handkerchiefs and feathers. 'Adieu, poor Mr. Rooster,' the Prince said quietly, patting the spot where the rooster lay in the katamari that had become his grave.
Whew, that last paragraph was a bit angsty huh? Once again, sorry for the boring chapter. I won't ever try explaining katamaris again, I promise. The Prince will continue rolling this katamari in Chapter Four. Chapter Three and Chapter Four were originally supposed to be one chapter, but it got too long. Next chapter is going to be from an OC's viewpoint at first, so I thought that that would be an appropriate breaking point. Sorry if there are any major grammatical errors, I haven't really looked over it that much. Please R&R!