Chapter Sixteen

At the age of twenty-five, Kaddar was completely ready to retire. He thought about it every day. He dreamed about it at night. He had been ruling Carthak for ten years already, and there were just times when he was tired of it. Particularly tedious Council meetings, in particular, had become his new favorite place to daydream about the future, until Kalasin was forced to poke him with her sharpest high heel to make him pay attention.

He longed for the day both of them could live in peace at Radzyn Keep.

There was one very significant thing separating them from a lifetime of peace and contentment.

In order for them to retire, there would have to be somebody else on the throne. A close relative or a child. Kaddar had no close relatives he was particularly fond of. Except Zaimid. He loved Zaimid, but giving him the throne would be nothing less than absolute stupidity. Kaddar was sure Zaimid's first act as Emperor would be to annul his marriage to Kalasin and marry her himself.

The very thought made him twitch.

As for children? …There were none of those yet.

There were a few times when he had idly thought of it. The night after Kally's birthday, he had awoken and stared at her for quite a while, wondering if their children would take after her. If they would be healers. Or if they would have her dark blue eyes.

He had mentally slapped himself for those thoughts a few days later. There was no point in even thinking about something like that now. He and Kalasin had just began to, ah, kiss for the purpose of pure recreation. It wasn't as if a heir would randomly appear out of kisses.

Thinking like this made him uncomfortable. They had a duty, as everybody was constantly reminding them. But Kaddar didn't want to put any pressure on Kalasin. Mithros, he didn't know if he was ready for something like a child. The mere thought made him feel old.

He gave his most world-weary sigh, just as the door to their rooms opened and closed with a bang. Cracking an eye open, he saw Kalasin, in a purple dress with mud-splattered boots. "I'm back," she said softly. "I thought you were asleep."

Kaddar beckoned for her to come closer. "I'm not asleep. Just contemplating my peaceful death."

Kalasin laughed and sat down near him. "You're a morbid, depressing person," she said. That didn't stop her from leaning down and giving him a hello kiss, and then flopping down next to him, using his chest as a pillow.

"Mmm. Take your shoes off," he mumbled.

The offending boots were kicked off, and Kalasin rubbed her bare feet against his, brushing her toes against his ankle teasingly. "That better?"

"Much." Kaddar yawned. "You're back late."

"It's not dinnertime yet," she protested. "And the University was particularly interesting today."

He snorted. "Right. Did your admirers convince you to stay an extra hour?"

"They're not my—"

"—They pant over you. And drool over you. They look at you like you're a piece of ripe fruit."

Kalasin tried not to giggle. "Hmm. Could it be that my lord is jealous that others seem to find me…" she paused, running a finger down his cheek. "…Delicious?"

"Me? Jealous? Never."

"Ajay of Sanjit said that I'm the cleverest woman he's ever met…and the most beautiful, too. He said that my intelligence almost surpasses my beauty."

Kaddar growled aloud and sat up, and Kalasin pulled him back down. "You are jealous!"

"Maybe." He hesitated for a minute. "…Nothing could surpass your beauty."

Kalasin looked down at him, and burst into laughter. "Stop it," she gasped. "Leave the flowery compliments to my would-be suitors. I need somebody to tease and torment and kiss me awkwardly—and that would be you."

"We bumped noses once, and you're not going to let me forget that, are you? It'll never happen again, after all."

Kalasin smirked. "Oh, really? Prove it." Her challenge ended in a yelp as Kaddar pulled her on top of him for a passionate kiss.

One thing began to lead to another, and before long, her dress had been discarded, leaving her almost-shivering in Kaddar's arms. The cotton of her shift was soft but not warm, and she clung to him for all of her warmth needs. His strong hands brushed the bare skin of her upper arms, and rested on her back. "Mmm," she mumbled through the kiss, content. Kaddar seemed to take that as permission, and he brushed her long hair out of his way and began to tug at the laces of her shift…

…and a crisp knock sounded at their bedroom door. Kalasin squeaked and fell off of him, and Kaddar sat up as quickly as he could, trying to brush his rumpled hair and tunic into place. "What is it?" he called, feeling a little irritated, despite himself.

"Dinner is ready, my lord and lady," was the squire's timid reply.

Kalasin groaned, flopping down on the pillow unceremoniously. "I forgot about dinner. Now we need to get ready before eight."

Kaddar was upset for a different reason. "They interrupted us for dinner?" he mumbled to himself, running his fingers through his hair.

Kalasin gave him a look. "Kaddar."

"What?"

She considered what she was about to say, and sighed deeply. "Nothing. I need the bathroom to myself, please. Don't come in." Kalasin bent down and picked up her dress, and stalked out of the room, feeling his eyes linger on her. It made her even more self-conscious than she already was, and she tripped on the hem of her shift and ran all the way to the bathroom, only relaxing when she had safely closed the door.

Turning around and facing the mirror, Kalasin blinked, startled. She had guessed that she was looking ridiculous, but this was more than she had expected. Her lips were slightly swollen, and there was the beginning of a mark on the back of her neck. Her shift was halfway unlaced, and one strap hung off her shoulder. Heat had flushed her face and neck, bringing out her freckles.

Kalasin moaned aloud, and sunk into the hot bubble bath after tossing her shift aside, wrapping her arms around herself. She felt…like a commoner girl who had been caught rolling in the hay with a lover.

She buried her head in her arms for a few moments, feeling anything except beautiful and desirable. She was embarrassed. But why? It wasn't as if they were doing anything wrong.

It took a lot of courage for her to look up over and into the mirror again. No. Still pathetic. She hadn't felt this way when she and Kaddar were actually kissing. It was just when they had pulled away afterwards…she had felt completely and utterly exposed. They had never done anything even remotely like that before. Maybe it would take some getting used to?

Kalasin felt like throwing a temper tantrum. She wanted to throw soap and spill bubble bath and stomp on towels as soft as rose petals. She wanted to splash warm, sandalwood-scented water at the elegantly tiled walls and light blue-carpeted floors. "It's not fair," she mumbled to herself. "Not fair." Kaddar wasn't the one having a mini-breakdown in a bathtub, feeling as if someone had stripped him bare and tied him up to a pole.

She had never felt disconcerted around him before. Angry, frustrated, upset, yes, but never uncomfortable.

But then again, she realized slowly, he had never looked at her like that before. Never looked at her with desire darkening his brown eyes. Never followed her around a room with his gaze.

Kalasin thought about it for a few minutes, splashing around absentmindedly. She came to a logical conclusion.

She would lock herself in the bathroom and never leave again. And if Kaddar had to see her for the purposes of the succession, she would fill the bathtub up with bubbles so that he couldn't see all of her. And then he wouldn't look at her like that again.

Sighing, Kalasin realized that that wasn't a very logical conclusion at all. She blew a bubble off of her nose, and it flew a few inches, before popping in a cloud of rainbow sparks. She sank down a little lower in the tub. Maybe…maybe she had asked for it. After all, she had been shamelessly flirting with him a little while before that.

It didn't make any sense. There were times when she wanted Kaddar to think her pretty and desirable. And now that it was finally happening, she was upset about it. Kalasin leaned down and bumped her head against the side of the tub despairingly. It would be nice if she could figure out her emotions some time or another.

A knock sounded on the bathroom door. "Kalasin! Are you in there?" It was Kaddar. Sounding panicked, for some reason or another.

"Obviously," she replied, keeping her voice from shaking.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm undressed. In the bathtub. Washing my hair and the rest of me. Why do you need to know this?"

There was a pause. "…Are you using bubble bath?"

"Rose and jasmine."

"Have the bubbles popped?"

"No," she sighed aloud. He was so weird sometimes.

"Kalasin. Please don't take this the wrong way…but can I come in?"

"What?" she demanded indignantly, sinking down even further. "I know that you've discovered some new animalistic desires, but Goddess! I want to be alone!"

"Kally, no, it's not about the…where did you come up with animalistic desires? Anyway, look, I bathed in the other bathroom and there are no towels in there and my only robe is in there with you!"

Kalasin let that sink in for a moment. "You mean…you're standing out there…"

"No!"

"Thank the Goddess. What are you wearing, then?"

There was a long pause. When Kaddar finally spoke, she could barely hear him. "I'm wearing your robe. The peach one."

"But…" she tried to imagine it. "But…you…"

"Kally, please." There was a definite note of pleading in his voice.

She sighed, turning toward the wall, and turned on more bubble faucets, so that the bubbles safely covered her up to her chin. "Come in. I won't look."

The door opened and closed, and she heard a rustling of silk as the robes were changed. Kalasin felt self-conscious again, because when she opened her eyes, he was looking at her, a peculiar expression on his face. "What?" she asked, sounding more forlorn than she had intended.

"Nothing. Are you all right?"

"Mmm," she said noncommittally.

"After all, you practically ran out on me. Did I do something wrong? I didn't bump your nose and cause a nosebleed again, did I?"

He sounded so worried that she had to smile, despite her blush. "No. You didn't do anything except make me feel…wanted. A little bit more wanted than I'm used to."

Kaddar was silent for a moment, before nodding. "I…I think I understand." He moved forward, as if he wanted to stroke her cheek, before thinking better of it. "Look—I'm sorry. If I ever…" she noticed he was blushing. "If I ever move too fast for you or make you feel uncomfortable or anything, feel free to disillusion me."

"Oh, I will," Kalasin assured him, mock-seriously. She gave him a sudsy foot-wave. "I'm going to get out now, and you can either turn around or get out of here."

"I'll leave," he grinned. "I don't think I trust myself quite that much yet."

Kalasin pulled herself out and toweled herself off, savoring the feeling of the soft towel on her body. The memory of their kisses returned, and this time she didn't feel like digging a hole and burying herself in it. Maybe she wouldn't have to live in a bathtub after all.

She felt a tiny pang of regret, though, and dismissed it very quickly. The bathtub wasn't quite deep enough to dunk Kaddar in, so therefore using her newfound seduction skills to lure him in would be completely unnecessary.

Okay, so maybe they weren't exactly seduction skills yet.

That, however, could be easily corrected.

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