A/N: I had something written out for this but then my computer screwed up on me. Guess I'll have to wing it. Thanks to Lizzie, bkerbunny and BatistaCenaChick for reviewing the last chapter. I really appreciate the feedback and am quite surprised by how positive it is so far. In this chapter: Things seem to improve for Jessie after a forced confrontation but, how long will it last? Warning: This chapter contains drug use. If that kind of thing offends you, I urge you to skip the last 4 paragraphs of this chapter.
Raven led the way into his locker room, stopping mere feet from Austin. Cassidy could tell, just by looking at him, that Raven wasn't happy about the visitor. He saw why as Jessie stepped out from behind him. She stood, almost between Austin and Raven, looking from one to the other.
"You. Out. Now." Raven ordered through clenched teeth.
"If it's all the same to you, I'll stay, thanks." Austin smirked.
Raven took a step towards him but was halted by Jessie putting a hand on his chest. Realizing the possible combustibility of the situation, Raven nodded towards Cassidy.
"Cass, take Jessie to catering and get her a drink." He suggested, wanting the girl out of the room, just in case. Cassidy knew better than to argue. Jessie didn't.
"I'm not going anywhere." She told Raven defiantly.
Biting back a cuss word or two, Raven pushed Jessie in Cassidy's direction. Cassidy took the hint and grabbed Jessie by the shoulders, gently leading her out of the room, despite her attempts to protest.
"Let me go, Cassidy! I have to stop Raven!" Jessie urged, struggling against his hold.
"Stop him from what? Trying to beat a little sense into the asshole? Giving him exactly what he deserves? Austin has it coming." Cassidy retorted.
"Aren't you one of Austin's best friends?" Jessie wondered, not quite feeling the friendly vibe.
"I can safely say that I was one of his buddies. Right up until I realized what he was doing to you. You deserve better, Jess." Cassidy replied seriously.
"You don't know me, Cass. I deserve whatever Austin chooses to do to me. It's my fault... all my fault." Jessie sobbed, trying desperately to stay in control of her emotions.
"Not even a rabid dog deserves to be treated the way you have been. What possible reason is there for you to think you deserve it?" Cass asked, hoping to get an insight into how her mind was working.
"I... I can't tell you. But, believe me, I deserve a lot worse than bruises and split lips. I'm a horrible person. The sooner you all see that, the better off you'll be." Jessie assured him before trying to push her way past him.
"He doesn't love you, Jessie. I doubt that he ever did. The sooner you see that, the better off you'll be." Cass whispered as he pulled her into a hug. Jessie struggled for a few moments before letting her guard down slightly.
"He's kept my secrets this long so, he must care. You can all try to say differently but I know him." Jessie told him adamantly.
"Do you know what he plans to do tonight? He plans on getting with the chick he was with last night at the club. And I know for a fact that it won't be the first time he's cheated on you. He's not worth the heartache, can't you see that?" Cassidy informed her. Jessie pulled her way out of his arms.
"And can't you see that I couldn't leave him, even if I wanted to? If I even think about it, he'll tell everyone... everything. My life wouldn't be worth living." She responded, pain, anger and regret all shining through her eyes before she turned away from him.
"Oh, but you have such a great life now, huh? Between trips to the emergency room, I mean." Cassidy shot back heatedly.
Jessie turned back and slapped him as hard as she could, only realizing what she'd done after the action. She raised both hands to her mouth before trying to reach one out to Cassidy. He pushed it away with one hand while his other hand clutched at his, now tender, cheek.
"Cass... I'm sorry. I... oh god." Jessie stammered.
"Maybe you're more like Austin than I thought." Cassidy spat as he walked off down the hall, away from her. Lately, he seemed to be attracting fists and he wanted to avoid any more of them if he could.
Jessie sank to the floor, kneeling with her hands over her eyes. She couldn't believe she'd lashed out at Cassidy like that. He'd only been trying to help her. Then again, he hadn't exactly listened to anything she'd said, she was sure. He'd skimmed over it while trying to assure her that Austin was a jerk. She was lost in her own world, sobs controlling her small frame. She didn't notice anyone walking towards her. It wasn't until she felt herself being lifted from the floor that she uncovered her eyes. Raven.
"You seem to have a knack for making enemies out of friends." Raven told her with a smirk once she was on her feet.
"I didn't mean it... I never meant to hit him." Jessie pleaded, hoping Raven would believe her.
"Whether you meant it or not, it happened. It's about time you faced up to everything instead of hiding from it." Raven replied seriously as he took her hand and led her down a few hallways. Once Jessie realized that they weren't going back to his locker room, she began to protest.
"Where are we going?" She asked as she tried to pull her hand free.
"You're walking me out to the ring." Raven answered.
"No! Absolutely not! I'm a fucking mess, Raven." Jessie protested loudly.
"Yes, you are. Which is exactly why you're coming out there with me." Raven smiled slightly.
"What are you playing at?" Jessie wondered, catching sight of the sparkle in Raven's eyes.
"You'll see." Raven told her as they stepped up to the backstage side of the set.
He was handed a microphone as his music was cued and he quickly led the way down the tunnel and onto the stage. The crowd turned their attention to the strange looking girl that was standing next to Raven, still trying to get her hand free from his. Raven raised the microphone but hesitated a moment before he spoke.
"Ah. Bright lights, many fans and cameras. There's no way you can hide anything from those things. No way anyone can run from things that are brought to light out here – which brings me to introducing my rather special guest tonight." Raven smiled before lowering the microphone again.
He tugged on Jessie's hand and led her down to the ring before motioning for her to enter through the ropes. Jessie slowly complied, feeling totally exposed. Raven entered the ring and moved to the center of it, waving for Jessie to walk over to him. She again complied, wanting only to feel safe. She wasn't sure what Raven was going to say or do so the last thing she wanted to do was antagonize him.
"Ladies and gentlemen, my guest this evening is Austin Aries' personal punching bag, oh, my mistake – girlfriend – Jessie Carmichael. She flew all the way from Milwaukee yesterday to see him, only to have him beat her. But, she says he loves her so it's okay." Raven spoke calmly into the microphone as Jessie glared at him. The crowd let out a loud chorus of boos to show their distaste for Austin's actions.
"Now, not only that but, she's pushed away two people here that have done nothing but try to help her. Her best friend, Roderick Strong, and a close friend of mine, Cassidy Riley." As Raven said their names, Roderick and Cassidy made their way out to stand on the stage.
"It's funny how friends have connections, isn't it?" Raven smiled as he turned to look at Jessie. Alex Shelley stepped out of the tunnel and stood next to Roderick.
"See, Rod here happens to know someone who is very good with a video camera. Cue it. Jessie, you claim that Austin loves you. I ask you, does this look like the behavior of a guy in a committed relationship?" Raven asked as he motioned for Jessie to look at the screen.
A video flashed to life. The scene, a nightclub. Jessie recognized a few people as the camera scanned around the room. She was sure the blond guy and the dark haired guy were a tag team here in TNA. There was Cassidy walking towards the bar. And then there was Austin. It looked, to Jessie, like he was trying to get rid of a ring rat or annoying female fan. Jessie looked at Raven curiously. What did this prove exactly?
"Keep watching." Raven whispered, so she turned her attention back to the screen.
As she did, the image of Austin pulled the woman into his arms and kissed her passionately. As the woman pulled away, she turned towards the camera. Jessie took in a shocked breath. The woman was wearing shocking pink lipstick. She watched in disbelief as the woman proceeded to give Austin a hickey. Jessie turned away, bitter tears forming in her eyes.
"It's not over yet, Jess." Raven told her, holding her by her shoulders and turning her back towards the screen.
On screen, Cassidy had walked over to Austin and seemed to be talking to him animatedly. All of a sudden, Austin lashed out and slapped Cassidy. Several of the other wrestlers moved to hold Cassidy back and someone pushed Austin towards the door. That explained to Jessie why Austin had come back early.
"Cassidy, why don't you let us all in on what you were saying to Austin?" Raven said into the mic as the video faded. Cassidy raised a microphone of his own as Roderick gave him a nod of encouragement.
"I was trying to remind him that he had a girlfriend. You all saw his reaction." Cassidy answered Raven, raising a hand to his cheek in memory of the pain – which wasn't that distant seeing as he'd just experienced it again thanks to Jessie.
Jessie looked from Cassidy to Rod, from Rod to Raven. She couldn't understand why they were doing this to her. Wasn't Roderick meant to be her friend? She pulled away from Raven and made her way towards the ropes. She had to get out of there, had to...
"Security!" Raven yelled into the mic.
Moments later, several stocky men had surrounded the ring. Jessie weighed up her options and decided to continue with her plan of leaving the ring. As she stepped one foot onto the apron outside the ring, Austin came running through the tunnel. It was evident he was planning on getting to the ring but Cassidy and Roderick caught him and held him fast.
"Jessie! Jessie, baby, it's okay! Everything's okay. Just come on over here!" Austin yelled as he struggled against his two possibly former friends.
Jessie had paused, watching Austin's entrance into the madness. Figuring she'd had enough of being humiliated, she finally got out of the ring. One of the Security guys grabbed her by the shoulders to stop her going any further away from the ring. She tried to get away from the guy, only to be surrounded by several others.
"Austin, how nice of you to join us. Bring him down here. Jessie, get back into this ring, right now." Raven ordered.
Jessie turned and looked up at him, a mixture of hate and confusion in her eyes. He almost felt sorry for her – until he reminded himself that she'd brought most of it on herself. She was the one that had pushed away people that had been trying to help her. She was the one in need of help before Austin went too far and killed her. They were just trying to get her to see that.
Raven opened the ropes for her and motioned for her to get back into the ring. Deciding she had no other choice, Jessie complied. Roderick and Cassidy were slowly dragging a struggling Austin towards the ring. Jessie wasn't sure she wanted to know what was going to happen next. She had a feeling it wouldn't be good, whatever it was. Once Jessie, Austin, Roderick and Cassidy were all in the ring, Raven continued.
"Austin, rushing out here to play hero? What a joke. She's seen the tape, man. She knows you're scum. There's no possible way you can get out of this one, though I'd really like to hear your explanation. I'm sure everyone in here would, actually." Raven smirked, motioning to the audience.
A huge roar erupted from the crowd, showing Raven that he wasn't wrong. Cassidy handed his microphone to Austin and nodded, as if confirming that Austin should use it but that he should also pick his words wisely. Roderick and Cass were standing very close to Austin, just in case he tried anything. Raven stood between Austin and Jessie for the same reason. He may have been trying the whole 'tough love' thing but he wasn't out to get Jessie hurt physically. The emotional side would be damage enough.
"Jess, baby, you know I love you." Austin began hesitantly. The audience booed loudly. Once they'd quietened down, he continued.
"The girl in the tape, she meant nothing. For all I know, Alex or Cass could have paid her to hit on me..." Austin reasoned.
Cassidy and Roderick shook their heads. There was no way any of them would waste their cash to get some fake looking chick to hit on Austin. What was the point? Jessie watched Roderick closely. She knew he wouldn't lie to her, even though she'd lied to him earlier about meeting up with Austin. She reached a hesitant hand out to Raven and he gave her his microphone without her asking.
"She meant nothing, huh? Then why didn't you tell me about her? Why did you lie to me when I asked about the hickey? And why were you planning on meeting up with her again tonight? Oh, yes, Austin. I know about your plans. So go ahead... answer me." Jessie urged as Austin looked very uncomfortable. He tried to take a step towards her but Roderick and Cassidy each put a hand on his shoulders to restrain him.
"I didn't tell you about her because I knew you'd get upset. I don't know why I lied about the hickey but... it doesn't matter. None of it matters now. Don't you see what they're trying to do, baby? They're trying to ruin everything. I love you and you know it, Jessie." Austin told her seriously. Jessie laughed hollowly.
"Someone wise once told me that love isn't shared with a fist. What you and I have isn't love, Austin. It's pain. It's torture. It's pure hell and I'm sick of it. I... I want it to be over." Jessie stammered, tears springing to her eyes.
"That's not what you said in the hallway earlier." Austin pointed out. He felt Roderick's hand loosen slightly and sensed that the other man had probably suspected as much.
"It's what she's saying now, you little bastard." Raven snapped, having pulled the microphone from Jessie's hand.
"You don't really want it to be over, do you? I mean, if it was over, I'd have to tell everyone your little secret. Is that what you want, Jess?" Austin smirked. Jessie looked shocked and shook her head slightly, causing Austin to laugh in amusement. The audience sent out another chorus of boos.
"Jessie, whatever this secret is, it's not worth your life. He's just using it to keep you under his control. If you don't fear it anymore, he can't control you anymore and you can finally be free – and pain free." Raven pointed out seriously.
Jessie looked between the two men, struggling to figure out what to do. She didn't want Austin telling everyone the secret he held over her. Yet, she didn't want him to be able to keep controlling her anymore, either. Running a hand through her hair, she began pacing between the ring ropes and Raven – being careful not to go any further for fear of Austin being able to reach her.
"She could probably use a little encouragement here, ya know?" Raven spoke into the mic casually, looking out at the audience as well as directly at Roderick.
The crowd took the hint and began chanting 'Dump him, Jessie'. She looked out at all the different people in the arena and shook her head, tears blurring her vision. They didn't know her, didn't know Austin... didn't know what the secret was that he held over her. She deserved the pain... didn't she?
Cassidy had joined in on the chant now, waving his free arm to encourage the crowd to get louder. Raven was amazed at how loud they were already and he nodded his head along with them. Jessie rubbed the tears out of her eyes and looked up. For a brief moment her eyes rested on Austin. The smug look on his face sickened her. She moved her gaze to Roderick and their eyes connected. He mouthed the words 'I'll protect you, forever' and she finally knew, finally understood. Jessie took the mic back from Raven and, turning away from the four men in the ring, raised it slowly.
"It's over, Austin. I'm done with it all. If you want to tell the world my secret, go ahead. I've paid for what I did back then in blood – blood you drew. I've had enough. It's over." She spoke calmly and firmly, amazed by the power she felt coming through in her words.
"Look me in the eye and say that. Don't be weak!" Austin ordered.
Raven watched Jessie stiffen in fear. He knew she was close to backing down, to giving in to Austin again so he reached out a hand and gently squeezed her shoulder to let her know that he was there for her. Jessie felt Raven's strength and support and lifted her head slightly. It had to stop and the only way it would was if she took back control of her life. She knew that now. She reached up a hand and touched Raven's one on her shoulder lightly before brushing it away and turning back to face Austin.
"Weak? You're trying to call me weak? Hell no! After everything you've done to me, I'm still standing Austin. I'm still alive. Maybe it's you that's weak. Ever thought of that?" Jessie posed the question with a smirk forming on her face.
She knew he wouldn't like that, knew it would anger him. Sure enough, one of his hands formed a fist and the color rose to his face. She'd hit a nerve in him and he was about ready to explode.
"You little... You know what, fine. Have it your way. I think everyone here will be interested to know what kind of a person you really are, Jessie, so why don't I just let them know?" Austin again threatened.
"Don't bother. By the time you got around to it, they'd all be fossilized. I'll tell them myself." Jessie laughed. Austin looked suitably confused by this tactic.
"You see, about a year after Austin and I first started dating, I got pregnant. Everything went great for a few months and I was really excited. Then, one day, I made Austin angry somehow and he went off on me. It was the first time he'd ever hit me but he did enough damage that I wound up in extreme pain. Then, I did the stupidest thing I've ever done and I turned to drugs to ease the pain instead of going to a doctor. I lost the baby because of my drug use. That's it. That's the big secret." Jessie admitted.
She couldn't bare to look at Roderick, knowing she'd see disappointment in his face. She dared a glance at Cassidy and noted the expression of shock on his face. Wondering what Raven thought, she turned slightly to look at him. He caught her eye and nodded slightly before leaning in towards her.
"We'll talk later." He whispered. Austin finally snapped back to reality.
"You see? You've all been cheering for a drug addict! That's all she is, even now." Austin informed everyone. Raven laughed and took the mic away from Jessie.
"Hate to break it to you but... I'm a recovering addict myself and I've had more than one person cheering for me. You, you're worse than an addict. You're an abusive little worm that drove this beautiful person towards drugs in the first place. I suggest you get the point of this exchange through your thick skull and realize that you and Jessie are finished. If you come anywhere near her, try to call her, hell, even look at her, I will personally give you the beating to end all beatings. Now get the hell out of my sight." He snarled, stepping towards Austin menacingly.
Cassidy and Roderick let Austin go and watched as he fled from the ring. Austin received a few shoves and stiff shoulders from the Security guys as he made his way through them but they generally let him past with no trouble. He didn't even dare look back towards the ring. Raven dropped the microphone and pulled Jessie into a hug.
"Well done. I think you're on your way back from hell. But you're not done yet." He told her as he held her.
"I know. Roderick's going to hate me though." Jessie whispered, feeling safe in Raven's arms – a feeling she wasn't accustomed to.
"Judging by the look on his face I'd say he's a little confused, a little hurt but he's still here in the ring so I think things will be okay." Raven assured her. As he let her go, Cassidy came up to her.
"Well, that was a bombshell and a half. I don't see how he could hold that over you when he's the one that caused it." Cassidy mused.
"He had this way of twisting everything so that it was my fault. I mean, I did make him angry so it was my fault that he hit me but..." Jessie started.
"Don't ever say that again. No man has the right to hit a woman. It's just evil and wrong." Cassidy cut her off. Jessie considered what Cassidy had said and nodded slowly.
"Yeah, I know I should believe that. Give me time." She figured.
After everything that she'd been through, she needed time to figure out who she was and what she believed in now. Cassidy nodded and moved aside to talk to Raven, knowing that Roderick probably had something to say to Jessie. Jessie looked up and caught the look on Roderick's face. Raven hadn't been kidding when he said that Roderick looked hurt and confused but there was something more. Something Jessie never thought she'd see... guilt.
"Rods, I..." Jessie started, wanting to tell him a million different things.
Roderick cut her off by shaking his head, anger flashing across his face briefly. As she watched, he turned and left the ring through the ropes behind where he'd been standing. He walked away, stopping momentarily to look back, shaking his head again before continuing to walk to the backstage area. Jessie turned to look for help from Raven and Cassidy.
Cassidy shrugged, figuring that Roderick would talk to her later. Raven had an idea that things were far from over for Jessie. She still had a lot of making up to do as far as Roderick was concerned. She'd hidden things from him, flat out lied to him earlier. Then there was the fact that she would be quitting the drugs if Raven had anything to say about it. He motioned for Jessie and Cassidy to leave the ring, joining them shortly after they had. He waved to the crowd, thanking them for their participation in the 'intervention', as he led the way up the ramp and into the tunnel.
Once they had left the tunnel, Raven motioned for Cassidy to leave him and Jessie alone. He led Jessie down a few hallways before opening a side door and letting her walk through it. The door led to outside the building that housed TNA. Jessie took a deep breath of the fresh air and felt the tension inside her ease a little.
"Ready for that talk I told you we'd have?" Raven asked after making sure they were alone.
"Are you giving me a choice?" Jessie returned, raising an eyebrow. Raven laughed and shook his head.
"Not exactly, no. I'd still talk if you said no. The difference would be whether you'd actually listen." Raven reasoned. Jessie looked at her surroundings as she thought it over.
"Why don't you start talking and we'll see what happens." Jessie offered. Raven laughed, pulled something from his pocket and then sat down against the wall of the building.
Jessie followed suit and sat across from him. Raven held his hand out, offering Jessie something. Jessie took it and was stunned to see the syringe she'd had in her bag. Well, that explained what happened to it.
"So this is going to be more of a lecture than a talk, I take it?" She posed, dropping the syringe between them.
"It would be hypocritical of me to lecture you. I've been there, done that... and worse probably. I just want to know how you feel about this now." Raven asked, motioning towards the syringe.
"I feel like I need help to get myself under control. The drugs have messed me up so much but they definitely took the edge off reality when I needed it most." Jessie told him. Raven looked her in the eye and nodded.
"I know how that is. I have a journal full of drug induced rantings. Actually, wait here for a second, I want you to read something." Raven decided, getting up and walking back through the door.
Once she was sure he'd gone, Jessie picked the syringe up and slipped it down the inside of her boot. With that done, she got up and headed inside too. She knew that Raven had probably headed for his locker room so she went in the opposite direction. She found a women's bathroom and went in, locking herself into one of the stalls. She pulled the syringe from her boot and sat, twirling it in her fingers.
"Fuck it all." She murmured as she uncapped the needle.
Pulling her hair out of it's hair tie, she used the piece of elastic to wrap around her upper arm. Injecting the contents of the syringe into a vein on the inside of her elbow, Jessie leaned against the door of the stall and slid down until she was sitting on the floor. The drug worked quickly, flowing through her bloodstream. Before long she felt the familiar numbness that she had come to welcome after a beating from Austin.
"What the hell do they know anyway." Jessie muttered aloud.
A/N2: And the plot hits a twist. The next chapter will pick up right where this left off. If you wish to complain about my portrayal of the drug use, give me some constructive criticism or even let me know that you liked the chapter, please hit the review button. I enjoy knowing that people think this is an interesting story to read because it was an interesting story to write. A far cry from anything I've written before. Anyway, thanks again and hugs to all.
Phoenix