Chapter Eighteen

It had taken a while for Kalasin to get used to the fact that within a few hours of missing a council meeting with some very important Scanran ambassadors, missing the dinner with the aforementioned important ambassadors, and missing breakfast with the very important, and now royally peeved ambassadors, her and Kaddar's love life had become the hottest topic of discussion in the Imperial Court.

It was everywhere. Zaimid turned red with twisted glee as soon as she and Kaddar walked into his office midmorning. Thankfully, he kept his mouth shut. Kalasin was surprised. He looked like he was dying to do something stupid, like…

"I knew it! I knew it!" he burst out at last, in a fit of triumphant laughter. "I knew you and Kalasin were a perfect match, I knew you two had chemistry, and I knew that one of you two would cave sooner or later!"

Kaddar shook his head despairingly and rubbed his head, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. Kalasin observed the carpet of the study intently.

"I mean, it's a bit shocking that it took so long, since you two are both rather good-looking and intelligent individuals and whatnot," Zaimid continued, waving a stack of parchment around enthusiastically. "I—"

"—thought it would have happened sooner," completed Kaddar wryly. "As you've toldus several times, but—"

"—it couldn't have happened sooner, because Kaddar and I kind of hated each other until about four months ago—"

"—but you shouldn't have hated each other, because your dynamic combinations of intelligence and good looks and the emotional and sexual uncertainty of an arranged marriage should have driven you two into each other's arms, and created a fiery and passionate relationship," Zaimid sighed. "But I'm very pleased that you two remembered the beginning half of my speech. It's nice to know that I made an impact."

Kalasin thought back to his inviting her to work with him in the potions department, and the bottle of Amoria that he had shown her. "Oh, you made more of an impact than you realize," she giggled.

"Excellent," he said, drawing himself up to his full height and turning toward Kaddar. "Oh, esteemed imperial cousin, please do me the honor of naming even one of your undoubtedly gorgeous offspring after me!"

"No," was the placid reply. "I don't want to leave any children of ours scarred like that. It would haunt him for life. Or her," he added, with what Zaimid perceived as unnecessary sadistic glee.

"Stop! Just because my name had its roots in the female goddesses of Siraji mythology doesn't mean you can still taunt me about it. I'm not ten and incredibly sensitive any more, you know!"

Kaddar smirked. "Could've fooled me."

"Insensitive prick."

"Rotten influence."

"Ink-sniffer."

"Medicine woman."

Zaimid's jaw dropped, and his entire face quivered with righteous indignation. At that, Kalasin thought it best to put herself between the warring cousins. "And I think we had better leave," she said sweetly, stepping back and giving Kaddar's sleeve a firm tug. He didn't move, and Kalasin was forced to dig her nails into his arm, causing a yelp. "I said, don't you think we had better leave? After all, we're running late for…for the very important meeting…"

"Where and why?" asked Zaimid, folding his arms and glowering.

Kaddar felt the impending threat of his arms getting closely acquainted with Kalasin's fingernails again. "Oh! The…very important meeting…in the very important place…about the very important thing…"

"Top secret, you see," explained Kalasin apologetically. "See you later!"

Zaimid watched her drag Kaddar down the hallway, and sighed. She was so kind. So noble and just, just enough for her to try and defend her insensitive prick of a husband, even when it was clear that the aforementioned prick was in the wrong. Medicine woman, indeed, he thought darkly, shutting his office door. It was high time he rediscovered his old bottle of itch potion…

Meanwhile, Kalasin had decided to relinquish her hold on Kaddar's arm. "What are we going to do, anyway?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Find our councilors. And make excuses."

"Should we be pathetic and overworked, or regal and try to generate the we're-too-mysterious-and-royal-to-follow-mortal-rules aura?"

"Whatever the situation calls for," Kaddar replied. They turned the corner, and just as fate would have it, almost knocked into two of their councilors.

A few awkward moments of silence ensued, followed by both Kaddar and Kalasin making excuses.

"—and, um, then we got locked out of the castle," Kaddar finished hurriedly. "When it started to rain, we went to the stables and I think we fell asleep. Empress Kalasin and I will certainly be at the conferences this evening, though."

"Of course," agreed Kalasin. "No more evening walks around the courtyard on a stormy day for us."

"Bad for the health, you know, my lord and lady," croaked Duke Samjan, waving a gnarled hand for emphasis. "My darling duchess died of pneumonia…"

"Not as bad as what happened to my old uncle," replied the Lord of Sanjit, shaking his head sadly. "Bone rot. And gangrene. Festering lungs. Or was it a combination of all three?"

Kalasin and Kaddar both blanched. After making their excuses, they ran away as imperially as possible, before standing in a wall niche as innocently as they knew how. "D'you see them?" Kalasin whispered. "They're both wonderful people, I'm sure, but their stories honestly frighten me."

"Duke Samjan used to tell me stories when I was young and in the nursery," he said grimly. "I remember his tale about the conquest of Elkallatum. I think I cried. And then I had nightmares for the next month."

"How awful," Kalasin murmured sympathetically, resting her head against his shoulder. "It's hardly any wonder you turned out the way you did."

"Wait, you…" he scowled, before she unceremoniously pounced on him, putting a hand over his mouth. "Quiet! They're coming back!"

Both of them pressed tight into the niche, trying to disappear behind the mock-up Red Legion soldier.

"It's a blessing, I tell you, Sanjit," Duke Samjan croaked happily, as they walked past. "To be young again."

"Young and in love," sighed the other man, gripping his walking stick tightly. "I've long forgot what it's like to feel that kind of passion for another person. They're a nice couple, work well together, and any children they have will be exceptionally good-looking."

Samjan nodded in assent, his many chins wobbling. "Awful liars though, both of them. Locked out of the castle indeed. It wasn't even raining last night!"

"That's the problem with being young and foolish," the walking stick was waved in the air alarmingly, "they don't respect the intelligence of their elders!"

"They think we're so old we don't even know if it rains or not," laughed Samjan. "I beg to differ, don't you?"

The elderly couple shuffled further down the hallway, and the emperor and empress sighed in relief. "They're gone." Kaddar helped her out of the niche, and they continued aimlessly toward the main entrance. He nudged her playfully. "Have I ever told you how much blinding passion you ignite in me?"

"Mmm, no," she replied slowly. "Don't you just love me, though? For my rare beauty and how well I work with you?"

He wrapped an arm around her waist. "I do. Now, shall we go to the stables?"

"Are you suggesting something?"

"Not exactly," he replied. "After all, I've always imagined hay would be a bit itchy to roll around in, haven't you?"

Kalasin blushed slightly. "Well, it's not as if I think about that kind of thing, you know."

"You don't fool me, Kally," he teased with a grin. "I've seen the way you eye that bearskin rug."

"I do not!" she exclaimed.

Kaddar ignored her. "I'll only consider it if we can use pillows," he said, straight-faced. Pillows and a blanket. And a feather duster."

"A…feather duster?"

"To brush loose fur off of skin," he said, as if something like that should be obvious. "Of course, I can just imagine your squeal if I brush those feathers across your ribs…"

"Sadist."

"I know."

"Why do I even like you, anyway?"

"Because we're kindred spirits. Sadist meets sadist." He raised an eyebrow at her suggestively. "Want to know what I'm thinking?"

"Kaddar. I really like you, I do. But I don't think I'm the dominant/submissive type."

"May I ask you again tomorrow?"

"Of course. I still adore you, even though you rejected me, you know." Kalasin smiled at him flirtatiously.

"I adore you, too."

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