A/N: Esme is Mesmordia's nickname. Dumbledore is the only one who calls her by her full name. I just didn't want there to be any confusion!
Esme walked into the sitting room and looked at her father slumped in a chair in front of the fireplace. Her gaze swept over the half empty bottle of Firewhiskey on the nearby table. She sat down in the chair opposite him and took the opportunity to study him. His eyes were closed and there was a picture of her mother lying in his lap. Reaching across the space, she picked up the picture. A hand grabbed her wrist and wrenched it out of her grasp.
"Don't," Severus said, his words slightly slurred.
"I'm sorry," she replied, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I just wanted to remember…" She wasn't sure how to finish that sentence.
Snape glanced down at the smiling woman in the picture and then looked up at his daughter. Without speaking, he held out the frame, feeling a loss when it was taken from his hand. He watched as Esme held the frame reverently and caressed the face that smiled up at her.
"Why?" she whispered. "Why would someone have wanted to hurt her? She never did anything to anyone. It doesn't seem fair."
Severus reached up and massaged his forehead, grimacing at the headache that was beginning to form. "Esme, life is not fair. If it were, it would have been me instead of her. Merlin knows that you two would have been better off with her."
Esme's head whipped up. "Why do you always do that? You are just as important to Sidney and me as mother. We would have been distraught either way."
Severus gazed at her sardonically. "Yes, but in the end, she was better equipped to raise you. I would have been missed, but life would have continued. This way…" His voice drifted off and neither one of them would, or could, complete the thought.
"Professor Dumbledore has asked to see me. He said that he had something he wanted to discuss with me," she said quietly, anxious to change the subject.
Snape turned to look into the fire. He watched as the flames danced and crackled as they devoured the logs. How he wished that he could be consumed with them. Perhaps then he would actually be able to feel something.
Turning back to look at Esme, he said softly, "Be careful, Esme. Every time Albus has wished to 'discuss' something with me, I ended up doing something I may not have wanted to do. I don't want to see the same thing happen to you." He laid his head against the back of his chair and closed his eyes. These last few days had been draining.
Esme stood and placed the picture back in her father's hand. She smoothed the hair on his head, tucking it behind his ears, grimacing as she realized that he was growing older. When she had been young, she had idolized his strength and sophisticated presence. Now in a few days, he seemed to have aged years. His jet black hair was now sprinkled with a few gray strands here and there. His face was lined and the shadows under his eyes made him appear fragile. She mentally smirked knowing that her father would berate her for even thinking he was fragile in any way. Leaning down, she placed a kiss on the top of his head, listening to his steady breathing.
"Don't worry, Dad. I know how to handle Professor Dumbledore." She walked away from the sitting room before hearing her father's reply.
"That's what I always thought."
Esme stood outside the Headmaster's door, wondering why she was hesitating. She was unsure what he wanted to discuss with her, but she sincerely hoped that it was not simply a ruse to get her to share her feelings with him. She cared deeply for Dumbledore, and she considered him to be the grandfather she had never had. However, he was also meddlesome and didn't know when to let things lie. He was also the only that she allowed to call her by her full name, though she wasn't sure why. Ever since she could speak, she had tried to correct it when he would call her 'Mesmordia'. Eventually, she had given up and tried not to wince when she heard him speak her name.
Knocking lightly, the door swung open to reveal the smiling face of the Headmaster. She looked up into his blue eyes and was shaken by the concern that she saw there.
"Mesmordia, I am so glad that you are here." He stepped forward intending to pull her into an embrace, but she sidestepped into the room, successfully evading the arms.
"Yes, well, you did request my presence." She stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, trying not to let his hurt look penetrate her protective shell. Closing the door, he walked to his desk and took a seat, waiting as she stood there for a moment before taking a seat across from him.
Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she looked at the Headmaster waiting to hear what he wanted. Albus shook his head. Perhaps he should reconsider what he was about to propose. He studied the girl, no he mentally corrected himself: woman, in front of him. She was brilliant in many subjects, but her social skills left little to be desired. Even when with someone she had known since her birth, he still got the feeling that she would rather be curled up with a book in the library than having any sort of personal discussion. Perhaps that is why she had been sorted into Ravenclaw.
Esme's eyes narrowed at his perusal and she shifted in the seat. Ever since her father had told her that Dumbledore could, if he chose, read her thoughts, she had felt exposed when with him and tended to avoid him as often as she could.
"There was something you wished to discuss with me, Professor?" she asked, hoping to end this discussion as soon as possible.
"What are your plans, Mesmordia? Now that you have graduated, what did you plan on doing with your life?"
"I-I'm not sure," she answered honestly. "I thought when I graduated that I would know immediately what I wanted to do, but I have no idea. My father wants me to go to a university and continue with a classical education."
"But you aren't sure that is your desire?" Albus finished for her.
Esme shook her head forcefully, the curls flipping her cheek. "No," she said quietly. Then she looked up in horror at what she had just revealed. "Please don't tell my father. I don't want to disappoint him."
"I am sure that he would not be disappointed in you. Severus simply wants the best for you and he thinks that an education would be beneficial. Besides, what you and I discuss in this room, stays between the two of us." He smiled at her disbelieving look.
"Since you are not sure what you want to do for the rest of your life, I have a proposition for you."
Esme stared at him warily, her father's warning sounding loudly in her mind. "And what would that be?"
Albus brought his hands up to his lips and was silent for a moment. Looking at her, he continued. "With your mother's untimely death, we are in need of a new professor."
Esme's eyes widened and she took a shuddering breath. The thought of being in her mother's classroom, surrounded by her notes and books was too painful. "I cannot teach her class. There are too many memories in that room," she said brokenly.
Esme grabbed the edge of the chair and leaned forward remembering the last time she had been in that room. She had helped her mother catalogue all the books and assisted in preparing her lesson plans for the upcoming year. Lesson plans that she would not be using.
Dumbledore held up a hand, "No, no my dear, you misunderstand me. I do not want you to teach your mother's class. I already have someone in mind for that position."
Esme raised angry eyes to his. "So, I guess my mother was easier to replace than you intimated in your eulogy."
Dumbledore sighed. He was really messing this up. Taking a deep breath, he continued with his proposal, ignoring her angry look. "Professor Flitwick has opted not to return for the forthcoming school year. I discussed with him appropriate replacements and your name was at the top of his list. He mentioned that he was unsure how you felt about teaching, but that you had tutored several students over the last few years with great success. What I am trying to say, rather poorly it seems, is that I would be honored if you would consider accepting the Charms position."
"I am not sure that teaching is what I want to do for the rest of my life," she said sullenly, sinking back against the chair.
Albus chuckled lightly. "I am not asking for a lifetime commitment, Mesmordia. I simply ask that you give it a year. Perhaps you will come to love teaching as much as your mother and father."
Esme snorted. She wasn't sure that she would say that her father loved teaching. But she didn't want to divest Dumbledore of his questionable notions. She sat there for a few moments, considering his offer. On the one hand, she may hate teaching immensely. Merlin knows she had little patience for incompetence. On the other hand, what else was she going to do? She had no desire to attend university, and if she did stay, she could still be with her father and Sidney. If she were being honest with herself, leaving Hogwarts had seemed a depressing prospect, especially now that her mother was gone. At least here, she would have her memories to remind her.
Glancing back up at the Headmaster, she made an impulsive decision. "I accept the position, Professor." Now she would just have to find a way to break the news to her father.
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