English assignment from last year. Goal was to make the reader empathize with Zeena. How'd I do, lol?
If I Could Only Hold You Again
By: The Hat Potato
Zeena awoke to the gentle sound of a blade swishing through water. Ethan was up already, leaning over a clay basin to peer into the small, stained looking glass on the wall.
It was cold in the room. The biting breeze seemed to penetrate the window and slice an icy wall between them, separating them all the more. She was sure he thought her to be asleep; he would never be this carefree in her presence otherwise.
"The doctor don't want I should be left without anybody to do for me." She hated how strained her voice sounded, how flat it fell upon the silent room.
He visibly jolted, and she allowed herself to take a small amount of sick pride in it. Good. Let him be ripped from whatever sinful reverie was sure to be filling his mind. Let him remember his poor, sick wife.
He turned around, but she almost wished he hadn't. The light filtered around him, blinding her while darkening his features. She couldn't even make out his eyes, which she was sure were studying her. Maybe it was better to pretend she didn't notice. Play ignorant to his blatant disgust.
"Nobody to do for you?" He spit back her words at her like she was stupid, so why would she feel any guilt when she bit back, "If you say you can't afford a hired girl when Mattie goes."
If she knew her husband at all, (though she was growing more and more convinced that she did not) she knew how to hurt him. Money and Mattie were all that made his heart race. Not her. Not anymore.
He spun back around, and she supposed he just couldn't stand to look at her anymore. Who could blame him, what with the monster she had become?
The hand holding the razor shook slightly as he raised it to his cheek. She could only distantly recall the beard he had insisted upon keeping before the girl came.
"Why on earth should Mattie go?"
And, God, he thought her to be stupid. He must have. She could almost remember a time when he thought of her that way. A time when he loved her and made her promise with all her heart to never abandon him. A fat lot of good that had done.
"Well, when she gets married, I mean." No need to sugarcoat it. Their relationship was already built on deception.
"Oh, she'd never leave us as long as you needed her," he responded easily.
Zeena almost laughed. If her own dependence was all that was keeping Mattie here, then Lord, cast her away.
"I wouldn't ever have it said that I stood in the way of a poor girl like Mattie marrying a smart fellow like Denis Eady." The words rolled off her tongue like poison, but shouldn't she add insult to injury? She smirked grimly as she watched the punch hit him, as he tried to regain his poor excuse for composure. He kept silent for so long, she feared his thoughts had strayed away from her again.
"The doctor don't want I should be left without anybody," Zeena continued. "You can't leave me," is what she longed to say. "He wanted I should speak to you about a girl he's heard about, that might come- "
He barked out a laugh that felt jarring against her sensitive ears. The snow whipped around them, wind whistling like a boiling tea kettle, and she pulled the worn blanket further up her chest. He claimed that Mattie needed the thick one. She was the guest, after all.
He was still laughing as he spit out, "Denis Eady! If that's all, I guess there's no such hurry to look round for a girl."
Oh. So that's how he would play it. Remaining thoroughly drenched in denial until her departure wholly tore him in two.
"Well, I'd like to talk to you about it," she replied and hoped that her voice didn't sound too desperate. "Please, talk to me about anything," is all she really wanted. She longed to hold him, to have him, if only once more. Then, maybe she could tell him how she actually felt.
He fumbled around, avoiding her stare, and mumbled a half baked excuse for not conversing. And then, she was alone again. She could only hope that she had made him think. Made him fear, if only a little.
The End