Chapter Twenty-Six

Empress Kalasin was feeling irritable.

It was too hot. It was getting humid. Carthak wasn't supposed to be humid.

Varice had made her favorite coconut ice for dessert that afternoon. Kalasin knew that she probably shouldn't take any. After all, if she tried one, she would probably end up demolishing the entire tray. But the shimmering pink squares tempted her so much it was almost painful, and she found herself reaching for one. She chewed it slowly, feeling bliss spread from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, making her feel lightheaded.

"Mmm," she mumbled as she swallowed the dessert, closing her eyes contentedly. It was refreshingly icy and sweet as it slid down her throat and into her stomach…

…and a wave of nausea suddenly overcame her.

"Oh, Goddess!"

With that, Kalasin had shoved her chair back, deserted Varice, Nadi, and Nadareh, and dashed out of the private dining hall as fast as she could. Thanks to some miracle, she managed to reach her rooms and bathroom before throwing up her entire lunch.

Kalasin moaned aloud, clinging to the sink. "It looks like you and I are going to become very closely acquainted, dear sink," she told it despairingly. "It's not fair. I didn't have morning sickness with Elissar and Kalahari. Why this one?"

The marble sink gazed back at her sympathetically.

"It hates me already," Kalasin muttered. "It doesn't like me because it didn't like being thought unwanted. Now I'm paying the price."

She wandered back to the study and flopped down on an armchair, after liberally dosing herself with the minty-green drink. She felt sweat trickle down her spine and under her corset and crinolines. Her thin stockings felt like they were woven out of Marenite wool. This is absolutely unbearable, she thought miserably. We have to go to Radzyn, or else I'll boil and die.

Coming to a decision, Kalasin pulled herself out of the armchair and headed toward their bedroom. Stripping off all of her clothes, she tossed them into a heap in the corner, until all she wore were her underthings. It was not very imperial. It was completely undignified. But it was the first time she had felt comfortable all day.

The light sheets were cool against her bare skin, and she pulled them over her, snuggling into bed. Her back was tired and aching, she was beginning to feel hungry again, and she felt a little guilty for running out on her friends like that.

Kalasin absentmindedly rested one hand on her stomach, feeling the slight curve there. "Oh, baby," she murmured, half-asleep. "I know I'll love you, but right now I wish you were disrupting my life a bit less. I haven't kept a meal down in a week. Be nicer to your mommy, little one."

She fell into a deep sleep, dreaming about nothing except moving waves of comforting darkness. At some point Kalasin's mind began to near the edge of consciousness, and she became vaguely aware of a tingling sensation deep within the pit of her stomach and soft trails of fingertips against her skin.

"Kaddar," she said blearily, and he jumped a little, startled.

"Sorry. You weren't supposed to wake up."

Now fully awake, she opened her eyes and rolled onto her back, glaring at her husband. "I was asleep and comfortable. Until you had to go and wake me."

"But Kal, sorry, you just looked so delectable, lying there—"

"Pervert," she said disdainfully. "You just couldn't control the urge to pet me, could you?"

Kaddar collapsed next to her, before pulling her close and kissing her cheek. "No, I couldn't. You're very pettable." His fingers traced the elegant curve of her spine, and he nuzzled the ticklish spot on the soft skin between the bottom of her ear and neck.

"You're being mischievous again," she told him, fighting the urge to snuggle close. "Isn't it enough that I'm already pregnant?"

Kaddar sighed despairingly. "You're going to hold this against me for the rest of our lives, aren't you?"

"Only until my morning sickness goes away," she replied. "And…mmm…stop kissing me! It's so…distracting…"

The emperor grinned. "Distraction techniques. You aren't thinking about morning sickness now, are you?"

"No," she admitted. "Come here and distract me some more."

"Thoroughly?"

"Very thoroughly."

After having her worries kissed and petted away, Kalasin lay back against his chest. "I'm enjoying being lazy."

"Pregnant or not, you aren't going to be allowed to be lazy much longer," he said mock-sternly. "It was very easy today, though, wasn't it?"

"That's only because there were no meetings and no…" she paused, frowning. "No children."

Kaddar ran his fingers through his hair. "No children? I haven't seen Elissar or Kalahari all day, come to think of it."

Kalasin groaned. "What kind of mischief do you think they're cooking up?"

"Something awful, no doubt," he replied grimly. "I hope that they haven't gotten into the kitchens again. I think that episode with the snails and cordial almost gave my mother a heart attack."

"Should we get out of bed, hunt them down, and chastise them thoroughly?" She stretched like a cat, daring him to say no.

Cursing her womanly wiles, Kaddar began to tickle her ribs. "Oh, no, of course not. Leave that to Zaimid."

Kalasin squealed aloud, flailing and catching his chin with her hand. "Mercy! Stop, you brute!"

"No," he replied, pinning her neatly. "I miss being an awful brute. Oh, by the way, I intend to kidnap you tonight and take you to the Hall of Mirrors and ravish you. With ropes."

Kalasin faked a yawn. "How unoriginal. You can't use the ravishing threat anymore. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not young, impressionable, eighteen, sheltered, and innocent anymore. Ravishing and de-virginizing me won't be very fun, you know."

"What shall I do to you, then?"

"We never have tried dominant/submissive before…"

She laughed. "You know, if you keep asking that, I might actually say yes."

"Oh, really?"

"Really." She turned her nose up at him pertly, and he had to laugh. "You're adorable."

"I know."

Several taps at the door interrupted the flirtation before it could turn into anything more. "Who is it?" Kaddar called, trying to mask his annoyance.

"Elissar and Kari," a small voice replied.

Kalasin smirked, exchanging a glance with her husband, and grabbing her robe before tying it securely around her. "Why should we believe it's you? It could be foreign spies pretending to be our little bratty children."

"We're not bratty," Elissar protested indignantly. "And we have Beans, see? Beans wouldn't go with foreign spies. Speak, Beans."

The dog woofed obediently, and Kaddar sighed. "Fine, I suppose I'll have to let you brats and the overgrown furball through. Come in."

The door banged open, and all three of them trooped in. First Beans, wagging his tail happily and panting, then Elissar, and then Kalahari. They lined up single-file in front of the bed, looking solemn.

"We have a proposition," said Elissar at last, crossing his arms and scowling at his parents.

"Why, Kally," drawled Kaddar. "I believe we've done something to incur the wrath of our spawn."

"We're not spawn, papa," Kalahari frowned. "We're children."

Kalasin looked at her daughter. "Kalahari, no, spawn and children are—never mind." She gave Kaddar a significant glance, practically screaming, see how you confuse them? "What were you saying?"

Elissar took a deep breath. "We don't want the baby."

Kalasin and Kaddar stared.

"It's going to ruin everything," said Kalahari with conviction. "Everyone's going to like it better than us. It's going to cry and take our stuffed animals and it'll make Beans like it more than it likes me and Elissar."

"And if it's a sister, I have to watch her, too. If it's a brother, then…then…I don't want a brother! If you and Mama just decide not to have a baby anymore, then it would be better for all of us," finished the prince, wringing his hands nervously. "And you and Mama don't have to watch over another one of us, either. Aunt Varice won't have to lock the chocolate cabinets. Or keep us away from all the bowls of cordial. So please please please don't have another baby!"

"Pretty please?" pleaded Kalahari, giving both parents her most appealing look.

Beans barked in solidarity with his two human siblings.

Kalasin buried her head in her hands. "Oh, Mithros, why us?"

Kaddar nudged her. "Are you going to explain?" he asked in flawless Gallan. The children blinked at the sudden language change.

"No—why should I?" replied Kalasin in the same language.

"You're a woman. This is a rather feminine issue."

The empress glared. "You did not just say what I think you said."

"Well? How does a father explain to his own children that he, to put it bluntly, likes rolling around on a sable blanket and bearskin rug with their mother, and that's how their new little brother or sister came into existence? As in, how do we explain that we aren't…um…the chastest people around? After all, recreational sex and accidental children weren't exactly part of the marriage contract and job descriptions." Kaddar fidgeted slightly, aware of the confused glances of the children. He loved his evil little spawn, but they caused the most awkward situations ever.

"Gods. Are we supposed to let our children think that they were the products of immaculate conception?" asked Kalasin, amazed.

Kaddar nodded furiously. "How else are we supposed to do it?"

"Kaddar, they have to know the facts of life sooner or later."

He blinked at her, a sudden thought occurring to him. "How old were you when you learned the, ah, facts of life?"

"That's off the topic," she fidgeted.

"Tell me!"

"Fourteen," she said, blushing. "I attended the University for a time. I heard things. And saw things."

Kaddar looked absolutely outraged.

"Don't worry," she hastened to assure him. "I only heard the vaguest of theories. You were the one who taught me everything about practical applications of the aforementioned theories. And then some."

"Yes, well," he preened, mollified. "Shall we just tell them that what happened was irrevocable? As in, we ordered a baby and can't withdraw our order. Sounds good?"

Masculine pride, thought Kalasin wryly. "Sounds good. Now, children," she said, switching back to Carthaki without a missed beat. "Come up here."

All of them stormed the bed with large-scale blanket scaling, and in Beans' case, a huge bound that catapulted him into Kaddar's lap. "Ow! Get off, dog!" He tried to push the big golden dog off of him, but to no avail. Beans simply licked his cheek and gave him a happy smile.

Kalahari scowled at her father and sat on Beans, hugging him around the neck and putting an arm around her father's shoulder. "Don't yell at him, papa. He's a nice doggy."

"Be a positive role model, Kaddar," chided Kalasin, thoroughly enjoying the glare that he sent her way. She cuddled Elissar, who made a face and tried to wriggle away. "Anyway, children, about the baby…"

"You're stopping it from coming?" asked Elissar, wide-eyed with gratitude.

Kalahari flung her arms around Kaddar's neck, half-choking him. "Thank you thank you thank you! Elissar and I are going to be nice forever, we promise!"

"Forever and ever!"

The empress sighed, leaning against Kaddar. "Is there any chance that you two will be nice forever and ever even if I do have a baby?"

Kalahari looked at Elissar, and he spoke for both of them, turning his nose up. "No."

Kalasin gave Kaddar a look. "They're not listening to reason. Will you allow me to tickle them until they burst their little ribs laughing? At least until they start listening to what we have to say, without being awful and contrary?"

Before their father could reply, both children squealed and went to the far side of the bed, where they took refuge behind a large pillow. Kalahari was small enough to hide behind it completely, but the top of Elissar's quivering head was visible. At last, he chanced a glance above the pillow, and gave his parents a wary look. "We'll listen. Please don't let mama tickle us."

"Fine. Now come here."

They brought their shelter with them, and sat just outside of arm's reach. "Let the nego—negotli—negotliatsions—begin," said Elissar haughtily, rather proud of himself for the flawless tackle of the big word.

Kalasin drew herself up to her full height. "Well, then. I can't stop myself from having this baby, and you or anybody else can't stop it, either. It's like…an order. We ordered the baby, and one can cancel an order like that."

"Why?" asked Kalahari innocently. "Why can't you cancel the order? And why did you and papa want another baby?"

"Aren't we enough?" wailed Elissar melodramatically.

Kaddar rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on. "Oh, you two are enough. Trust me. But let's just say that…um…babies…they don't exactly listen to orders. They just…happen. And look, are you two sure that you don't want a little brother or sister? I mean, Elissar, you didn't exactly understand why Kalahari was born. You weren't too excited about it, either. But now you're the best of friends."

"It's different with Kari," Elissar explained. "I have to take care of her. She's nice. She likes me. What if the new baby isn't nice? What if it doesn't like me?"

Kalasin reached out and pulled them both into her arms. "Just trust me on this one," she murmured softly. "I guarantee that you'll love Remus, and that he'll love you back."

"Remus?" asked Kalahari. "Is that his name?"

She shrugged, blushing. "If it's a boy. It's just something that came to me in a dream."

"Are you sure?" squinted Elissar.

"Yes, I'm sure she is," replied the emperor. "Do you trust us now?"

"I suppose so," Elissar said grudgingly. He gave his mother a hug, clinging to her shoulders. "I still love you, even though we're going to have a Remus soon."

"Love you too, papa, even though we're going to have a Remus and you yelled at Beans," echoed Kalahari, who kissed the top of her father's head.

"We're leaving now," Elissar informed them, wriggling away from Kalasin's kisses. "We have important things to do."

"Have a nice time running the empire," Kaddar said dryly, ruffling his daughter's hair.

Kalahari giggled nervously. "Silly papa. We don't run the empire. We just do…kid things."

They dashed out of the room, slamming the door behind them.

Suddenly exhausted, Kaddar pulled his wife down on the pillows with him. "I love them. But they're so tiring."

"We just had to have appallingly lively children," she replied, burying her head in his shoulder. "What do you think about Remus?"

"It's wonderful," he said. "Prince Remus Iliniat. Very imperial, don't you think? Commands respect. Where did you get the name from?"

Kalasin laughed. "I'm glad you think so. One of Lord Wyldon's dogs was named Remus. A little scamp of a thing, which rather describes this baby."

"Ah, well. It works. What are the chances that this one is going to be born calm, peaceful, and non-Gifted?"

She considered it for a few moments. "Zero to none."

Kaddar sighed again. Something that he was doing more and more often in his approaching old age. "Well, of course. They're ours, after all."

"To a rocket we've been tied, ready for the screaming ride, it's full of fuel and we've just lit the fuse." Kalasin quoted, staring at the ceiling.

"Nice. Rather accurate, too."

"This has been a screaming ride so far, hasn't it?" she asked. "Every moment of it."

Kaddar kissed her cheek affectionately. "Which is just the way I like it."

She rested her hand on her stomach. "I couldn't agree more."

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Last chapter before epilogue...-sighs-