I am so sorry for not updating in so long! I've had a lot going on, and I promise I was planning on updating last week, but certain events have stopped me from doing so. First, my dear friend Jacen Fan, has taken a vacation from the story, and wasn't able to help with this chapter. The other thing wrong was that my floppy disk got smashed, and now I have to retype all of the stories I have ever written. Not my best week, but I'll get through it.
hermione
hi, you don't know me, but i think u r the bestest wich ever! im glad that u r going out with draco and not ron, i dont like him and think htat you shoud have him heexed. you shoud get draco to do it, im sure hes great at that kind of stuff. when you two break up, you shoud go out with harry, he's way betterer, and hes famous.
forever crazed
XxX
Dear Forever Crazed,
Have you ever heard of letter formatting? You're letter is atrocious! I have never seen a letter written so poorly! Let's start out with your heading shall we? You always start a letter with 'Dear Insert Name Here'. Then there's you grammar, you start a sentence with a capital letter, the same goes for names. 'You' and 'are' are real words, you should use them more often. There is a thing called an apostrophe you use it in the words 'don't', 'I'm', and 'he's'. 'Shoud' is spelt 'should' and 'heexed' is spelt 'hexed'. 'Betterer' and 'bestest' aren't words.
Furthermore, Ron is one of my best friends, and annoying as he gets, I refuse to have him hexed! I also don't plan my relationships on my next boyfriends, and I don't choose my boyfriends just because they're famous! I am not some shallow, egotistical, self-centered, narcissistic, moron, who only cares about looks, boys, and money. I pride myself on my ability to pick a man for more than his social status. I will not go out with someone simply because it will get me from page of the Daily Prophet!
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger
Dear Hermione,
I am without a doubt your biggest fan! I feel that is the strongest honor in the world to be alowed to speak with you! I know everyhing about you! You're favorite food, candy, band, song, everything! I worship the ground you walk on, and would gladly give my life for you! You are my greatest sourse of insperation, and I want to be exactly like you! I even dyed my hair and got colored contacts so that I could look like you! I have perfect eyesight, so I can't see really well with them on, but it doesn't matter as long as it makes me look more like you!
Love,
O.C.D.- Hermione Granger
XxX
Dear Freak,
YOU NEED THERAPY! There is no reason on earth that you should be obsessed with me! I will lock all my doors and windows from now on, and Draco will track you down and hurt you for stalking me! Don't ever come near me or I will curse you to oblivion!
Hermione Granger
P.S. This letter will self destruct 5 minutes after being opened, so I'd run if I were you.
My Dearest Hermione,
It is I, Draco. Could you meet me in the library for a little 'study session' after dinner? And if you could, wear that nightgown I bought you.
I'll be waiting,
Draco
XxX
Dear Draco Imposter,
I suggest you stay far away from the library, for if you were there the real Draco would use an unforgivable curse on you. Draco is sitting right beside me, he has never seen this letter before, and has never bought me a nightgown.
Choke on vomit,
Hermione Granger
Dear Hermione,
It is always an honor to talk to you; it's just a matter of choosing what I'm going to say to someone as great as you. Before you continue reading, I think you should know that I triple checked this letter for any spelling or grammar errors. I have read Draco's fan mail, and I would hate for you to get angry at me, because I am terrified of what you could do to me if you had a wand. I would just like to know if you have any advice on how to get rid of a stalker type person who thinks that their your friend? As someone such as yourself, I'm sure you have more than one crazy fan, and although I am nowhere near as famous as you are, I'd still like to get rid of this guy.
Respectfully,
Hurt Deep Inside
XxX
Dear Hurt Deep Inside,
It is a rare occasion that I get a letter with so few typing errors, and I appreciate it. I find that hexing people is a great way to get them to leave you alone. When it still doesn't work, I get Draco to help me out, you can send me the person's name if you wish, Draco did say that he was getting bored with hexing people from our neighborhood, I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting rid of some people for you.
Always a pleasure,
Hermione Granger
What's it like knowing Harry Potter? It must be the greatest thing in the world knowing that you can talk to him whenever you want! What's it like knowing that people would kill to be in your position? Do you think that you could get me an autograph? It's my birthday soon, and getting his autograph would be the coolest present ever!
Potter Hoe
XxX
Dear Potter Hoe,
You scare me. I don't think of it as a big deal to know Harry. He's a regular person, but has a weird family life. I know for a fact that he hates people like you, who are fixated with him. However, I did manage to get you an autograph, it's enclosed, but it's on the restraining order he asked me to send you.
Dear Ms. Granger,
I write this letter with sincerest respect for you. I am a true fan of yours, and know everything about you. My only concern is your boyfriend, Draco. It is just that I don't think that he actually switched sides. What makes you so sure that he is fighting for us, and not against us? I wish I could share your faith in him, so please, enlighten me with you infinite wisdom.
Respectfully yours,
Keira Bloom Forever
XxX
Dear Keira Bloom Forever,
I appreciate that you think so highly of me, I just hope that you think high enough of me to respect my choice in men. I don't know if 'that he is fighting for us, and not against us' because I don't know if you are on the same side is me. If you mean is he fighting with Voldemort, then I can answer you. I don't know if he is or not, but whatever the case, I still plan on being with him. He's been through a lot, and I am not going to do anything that would further break his heart.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger
Dear Granger,
Why are you such a know-it-all? I mean, come on! You don't have to know everything; it just makes people dislike you. Everyone already does because you're a Mudblood; you should just commit suicide, because nobody really wants you.
Pansy Parkinson
XxX
Dear Parkinson,
This is 'Hermione's Fan Mail' I know you're an inept cow that can't read to save her life, but try a little harder. People do like me, especially Draco, who wanted me to tell you that if you come near him again, he's curse you into the next dimension.
Hermione Granger
Dear Hermione,
HOW COULD YOU GO OUT WITH DRACO MALFOY! THAT IS DEGRADING TO MUGGLE BORNS EVERYWHERE! HE'S AN INCONSIDERATE ASS THAT ISN'T WORTH A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME! HE'S FIGHTING FOR VOLDEMORT! VOLDEMORT IS PLANNING TO KILL ALL MUGGLE BORNS! HE DOESN'T CARE IF YOU'RE DATING ONE OF HIS DEATH EATERS! HE'LL KILL YOU ANYWAY!
Hamster Lover
XxX
Dear Hamster Lover,
I love Draco. That's all there is to it. I don't care what you think, this is my fan mail, and I don't think I should have to defend myself to someone who is supposed to be my fan.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger
P.S. Lay off the capitals, they bug me.
Hope you enjoyed! If there's anything you wish to ask Hermione, please send her a letter in a review!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If there is anything you want to say to Hermione, send it to her in a review!