A/N: First of all, I owe you all an apology for how long this has taken to update. Things have been rather difficult lately and writing has been the last thing on my mind. Also, I had the Dumbledore section written a few weeks ago and then I set it aside thinking I was going to rewrite it because it was rather rough. But after another review, I decided that I liked it and kept it, only adding the section at the beginning. Whether or not you like it remains to be seen-lol. As always, please read and review!
The cool, wet Scottish weather seemed to be a reflection of Harry's mood. He stood near the window transfixed by the rain beating against the window, rolling in rivulets down the pane and puddling on the ledge beneath the window. Rainy days always reminded him of Ginny.
Harry watched as Ginny bounded into the room, jumping on the plush couch. She pressed the front of her body against the back of the couch, her feet dangling off the edge and her hands resting on the back of the couch. She squealed when she saw the ominous rain clouds in the distance. Looking over her shoulder at Harry, her eyes sparkled and she gave him a lopsided grin. "Don't you just love rainy days? I wish everyday could be wet and cool."
"They wouldn't be on the top of my preferred list of weather," he said as he kneeled on the couch beside her, his arms resting on the back of the couch. "It's too hard to play Quidditch in the rain," he said off-handedly.
Ginny rolled her eyes and snorted. She laid her chin down on her folded arms, her eyes tracking the incoming clouds that were drawing nearer to the castle. "The rain makes everything new and cleanses the darkness from the world, don't you think? It gives me hope for the future."
He placed his palm flat against the pane, the coolness drawing him back to present. They had never discussed the future. Their youth had made them complacent. The future had been expected, even taken for granted. Why talk about it, when you would be there to experience it; to live it? Often on rainy days, he would find himself wondering what she had wanted their future to look like, and what it would be like to have those dreams to hold onto. Perhaps it would have made losing her a little easier, because he would have known his place in her life. It would have been something for him to draw comfort from.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure in black dart across the grounds, a heavy cloak draped around the speeding person. The mysterious figure stopped at the gate of the cemetery, a hand raised to push open the gate. Harry's eyes narrowed, watching as the figure seemed to hesitate, the hand dropping to the side of its owner before pulling the cloak tighter around the slight body. The figure straightened and pushed open the gate, entering the darkened cemetery. Leaning into the window, he was unable to see exactly where the hooded figure went, though he could have sworn he saw a shadow near the far end. Tapping a finger on the glass in thought, he silently listed three people who would venture into the cemetery during the middle of the thunderstorm to visit the area around Serena Snape's eternal resting place.
Sighing, he stepped back from the window, the cloaked figure reminding him that he needed to see Dumbledore. He had put of the inevitable long enough and he was ready to get some answers. He ignored the voice that asked who was getting the answers for and whether he was truly concerned for the Snapes or whether he was simply thrilled to finally catch Dumbledore in a lie.
Harry stood outside the Headmaster's office trying to remember the blasted password. Gritting his teeth, he counted it to ten, willing himself to calm down, or this conversation would be over before it even began.
"Flying Whizbees," he muttered, exasperated when the door refused to open. "Caramel Clusters, Lemon Drops, Toffee Tongues," he groaned as each one failed to budge the door. Shaking his head, he was about to return to his chambers when the door opened and Albus smiled at him.
"If you wanted in so badly Harry, you could have just knocked," he said, his eyes twinkling.
"I suppose that always was a possibility," Harry grudgingly admitted. Although he knew that knocking would have given the Headmaster the edge and Harry needed every advantage he could gather to get through this. Shifting his eyes to look into the office, he said evenly. "I need to speak with you."
Albus stood back and watched as Harry brushed past him, taking note of the stiff posture and angry eyes. He could tell that it was going to be one of 'those' meetings. One in which he ended up defending himself against a multitude of accusations. Sighing, he headed toward his desk. Harry had already taken his seat and was tensely awaiting Dumbledore to do the same.
"I am feeling a desperate need for some tea. Would you care to join me?" Albus asked, clearly expecting a negative response to his invitation, but asking anyway. He may be many things, but he most definitely was not impolite.
Harry shook his head and folded his hands in his lap, his knuckles turning white from the effort not to burst forth with an angry diatribe. Dumbledore waved a hand and cup of tea appeared in front of him. He breathed in the familiar aroma deeply, mentally preparing for the battle he was sure to come, and calmly taking a sip as he waited for Harry to begin.
"I met with a former colleague yesterday from the Ministry," he began softly, "and he had some interesting things to tell me about the Serena Snape case."
Albus set the cup down into the saucer a little harder than he'd intended. Harry's head jerked up at the clatter, narrowing his eyes as he studied Dumbledore's face.
"Did he have anything interesting to report? Although if I remember correctly, you once told me that you couldn't share any of that information with me," Albus was pleased that he was able to sound calm, amidst the tumultuous thoughts that were racing through his mind. He could only begin to imagine what the Ministry official had to say and how Harry had interpreted it.
Harry tilted his head and said coldly, "That was when I worked for the Ministry. I am no longer privy to information that cannot be revealed to the public. Although, it seems while I was there, certain things were withheld even from me."
He looked at the floor, his gaze flickering back up to the Headmaster. "And yes, he had some very interesting things to report." Sitting back, he asked casually, "For instance, were you aware that Lucius Malfoy has escaped from Azkaban?"
Albus felt the blood drain from his face. "D-Did he now? That seems like something that we should have been made aware of. Did it happen recently?"
Harry's mouth dropped open at the man's apparent lack of respect for the truth. Closing his mouth, his eyes hardened and he said icily, "You can drop the act, Dumbledore. I am well aware of the whole truth and the part that you played. We both know that Malfoy escaped back in May, a few weeks before Serena was abducted and murdered. Don't you find that just a little coincidental?"
Albus reached forward and shakily picked up the cup he had abandoned moments earlier. Taking a sip, he wondered if there was anything he could ever say that would make Harry believe in him again or if their relationship was irreparably damaged. Hiring Harry had seemed like a perfect way to figure out what had gone wrong in their relationship, but since his arrival, things had only deteriorated. He lifted his head, blinking his eyes and gazing at Harry as he realized that the young man was still speaking.
"Why didn't you tell Snape and his family that Malfoy had escaped?" Harry's eyes burned into Dumbledore. "Did you suddenly forget the threats that Malfoy had made?"
He grimaced. How do you forget a madman's fury or the words that made still made his blood run cold? That had been a difficult day for Severus. He had been called upon to give damning evidence against his one time friend, and Albus had made sure that he had been there to stand by Snape's side and offer what little support he could.
Lucius' dead eyes glared at the former Death Eater who was now damning him to a life spent in Azkaban with his testimony.
"You are a traitor, Severus. You have betrayed the Dark Lord and now you are betraying the only friends you have ever had," he hissed. "You think Dumbledore cares about you and that he will protect the pathetic family that you are trying to build? He was simply using you and now that you have outlived your usefulness, he will forget you."
Dumbledore moved to step forward and say something, but Severus placed a restraining hand on his arm and shook his head.
Lucius sneered at Albus, his aristocratic features twisted in enmity. Eyeing the quiet traitor, he said with a calm certainty, "But you will suffer more than anyone else ever has, Severus. I will destroy everything that you hold dear. I will rip each person you care about from your arms and when you are begging me to end your life to join them, I will replay their deaths for you in all their glory, reminding you that their only crime was to love you."
He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the hatred that had been evident in Lucius' eyes. "Those are words that I could never forget Harry, and ones that believe it or not, I took seriously."
Harry took a deep breath. "Then why on earth would you not tell Snape that his family was in danger? He could have prepared them, protected them in some way…"
"Because I thought that I could handle it," Albus interrupted, slamming his hand down on the desk, his own voice rising in protest, the cup and saucer rattling in accord. He could hear the portraits begin to murmur at his sudden loss of control. "I thought that I could spare Severus the pain of reliving a life lived in fear." He looked imploringly at Harry. "I am not perfect, Harry. I never claimed to be. I made a mistake."
He swallowed the lump in his throat and said, "For so long, Severus had lived a double life, never knowing if he would make it home each time he was summoned. I watched him struggle day in and day out with the deception he was forced to live and how the fear of losing his family made him constantly on edge." He smoothed his beard, his eyes downcast. "I thought this time that I could protect him and his family."
"Why is it that every single time you make a mistake, someone ends up dying?" Harry asked heatedly.
Dumbledore glanced at him over the rims of his glasses, his expression troubled. "Are we still talking about Serena, Harry?"
Harry looked away, cursing the man's ability to see through Harry's thoughts and emotions. He stared at the rug on the floor and asked coolly, "Even if I choose to believe your altruistic reasons for not telling Snape about Malfoy's escape, which I don't," he eyed the man indifferently, "what possible reason could you have for not telling Professor Snape about his wife's pregnancy?"
Albus' mouth dropped, feeling like the air had just been knocked out of him. A mocking smile flickered across his face and he shook his head. "It would seem as though you were very well informed," he replied softly.
"That does not answer my question," he said, mentally taking note of Dumbledore's apparent distress.
"Harry, do you really think it would have made things better? Severus, Sidney, and Mesmordia were already mourning for the loss of their mother. Do you really believe that knowing about the child would have made that loss any less difficult to bear? If anything, it would have made it worse."
Harry's anger flared and he stood up, pacing the confines of the office, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. He turned and glared at Dumbledore. "How can you claim to know what is best for everyone all the time? You continue to make decisions for people without giving them any option. And it all comes under this blanket statement that you are simply trying to 'protect them, because you care for them'. But in the end, the people you claim to care about end up hurting more than ever. You are nothing but a manipulative controlling bastard!" Dumbledore flinched under Harry's harsh tone.
Harry stepped toward the desk. "It is not your life!" He pointed at Dumbledore, shaking at the rage that was running through him. "Even if it would have made the loss harder, they should have known. They have that right." He dropped his hand, his knees buckling under him. He collapsed in the chair and repeated, "It is not your life." Harry pushed his hand up under his glasses, pinching his eyes as tears threatened to make an appearance. He would not give Dumbledore the satisfaction of seeing him break down.
Dumbledore stared in concern at the man who was shaking in the chair in front of him. Clearly there was more going on here than just a righteous anger about Serena Snape and what he had or had not done for Snape and his family.
He sighed and said softly, "No, it is not. But I could not care about them any more even if they were members of my own family. Contrary to what you believe, I was not trying to control them; I was merely trying to protect them. I could not tell Severus that he not only lost a wife, but a child as well, when he was attempting to deal with Sidney's episodes, Mesmordia's withdrawal, and his own grief."
Harry's eyes narrowed. "Sidney's episodes?" he questioned.
"So there was something the good agent forgot to inform you of," Albus said roughly.
"Don't push it," Harry said gritting his teeth. "What sort of episodes did Sidney have?"
Albus rubbed the sides of his head. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Sidney was the one who found the body."
"What?" Harry was startled at this revelation. He looked away, trying to remember if Anthony had made any mention of the student who had found the body.
"After he found his mother's body, he began to suffer some devastating panic attacks and nightmares." Albus dropped his hands to his lap, his head still pounding.
"He saw what Malfoy had done to his mother? What that sick bastard had carved into the body?" Harry asked, horrified.
Albus nodded. "Yes, though he has never spoken a word about it to Severus or I. It seems he only finds comfort in the graveyard."
'That would explain his constant presence in the graveyard,' he thought, remembering the day he had arrived at Hogwarts. "Why didn't you use a Memory Charm? Surely you wouldn't want him to remember that?" Harry asked trying to wrap his mind around what he would do and feel if he found his mother's dead body desecrated in such a way.
"I offered, but Severus refused. He said that he would not subject his son to having his memories stolen. I think it reminded him too much of the tactics that Voldemort often used. As painful as the memories would be, he made it clear that he did not want his son's mind toyed with."
Harry laid his head back against the chair, feeling emotionally drained. He closed his eyes, his voice dropping to a whisper. "When has knowing the wishes of another person, ever stopped you before?"
"Harry," he murmured. "I did what I thought was best."
He sat up, his eyes boring into the anguished Headmaster. He pushed aside the disconcerting realization that said he had never seen Dumbledore in so much pain.
"You will tell him," Harry said forcefully.
A stricken look flew across Dumbledore's face. "I cannot," he said brokenly. "He will never forgive me."
"You will tell him," Harry repeated. "Or I will do it for you. This is not negotiable. I have watched you pull the strings of too many people I care about, only to have them suffer unimaginable consequences because you did something that you thought was for the best. It will stop now."
Albus shakily licked his lips, feeling as though he were losing the last of his control over the situation that had already spiraled in unthinkable ways.
"You must allow me time to properly prepare for such a revelation. I would also like a little time to gauge Severus' reaction as well. You owe me this much, Harry," he said warily.
That may have been the wrong thing to say. Harry leaned forward, his eyes flashing with an intense hatred that chilled the Headmaster. "I owe you nothing, Dumbledore, absolutely nothing." He opened and closed his mouth as though he were about to add something, but decided against it. Looking away, he continued, "But I will give you time to prepare, because if Snape is anything like I remember, he will not take this news well."
'That would be an understatement, my boy,' Albus thought. "How long do I have?" he asked hoarsely.
"I will give you one month to reveal the truth," Harry looked back at him. "The whole truth, not your twisted version." He stood and stalked to the door, giving the Headmaster one last cold look before he left. "And God help you when he finds out."
A/N: Please let me know what you think. If you think it is crap, let me know and I will try to improve. Thanks for all the feedback. The more reviews I get, the more inclined I am to force myself to sit down and write. So, fair warning!