He is a powerful wizard. He knows many things that others can only dream of. He can hop through the worlds with ease, he can bring himself, though admittedly it is tiring, to the dimension of the unknown and he is capable of keeping up a smiling façade, even when he wants to hide in a corner and cry, his fear battling his common sense, his knowledge lost in the surety that one day soon, his life will end and it will be a gruesome ending. He hopes that he is no longer with his companions and his lover when that happens. If he is still with them, if they bear witness to his terrible death, a fate he can not escape, no matter how hard he tries, it will destroy them.
His lover, strong and silent and beautiful and powerful would be able to handle it. With a few months he would probably be able to move on again too. He could store him away with the knowledge that while it lasted, it was true. The children, especially the little princess, would be devastated by what they saw. They have seen many things that children shouldn't see, but they are far stronger than they appear. But to see a comrade, a companion torn to pieces before his very eyes, that would destroy them and all the innocence that is left in them.
He has a story. And it is a sad true story. He wants to tell somebody his story, he wants to share the secret of his past, why he runs away like a coward and endures his lover's harsh words and cruel tongue. But he's afraid to. Telling his secret could destroy his lover. Telling his secret could hurt the children. Telling his secret would result in many questions asked that have no business being asked.
Sighing heavily, he tilts his head back, basking in the warm glow that is the early morning. He will never forget the constant cold that was his former home, but he can never leave behind that warmth that comes on a sunny day in the middle of the spring months, when the world is not blanketed by inches and feet of snow.
And when his lover wraps his arms around him tonight, it'll be okay. He'll smile in his old familiar way and whisper that everything is okay, though it clearly isn't.