Friday night, Fitz's head popped up from where it had been nestled between Daisy's legs.
"Harry's in pain. And also maybe feeling something else in his stomach area, I'm really not sure about that one because pretty much all I can feel down there is my erection impatiently waiting to be stuck in both of you."
"Do we have to talk about this now, and not after you finish your job?" huffed Daisy, looking down at her spouse.
Simmons detached her mouth from Daisy's breast long enough to say, "If no one's in danger, I'm okay with waiting — probably until tomorrow morning, because we're not going to get back to it tonight."
Rather than answer with time-consuming words, Fitz simply lowered his mouth back down to Daisy's cunt and got back to work.
As expected, it was at breakfast the following morning when Simmons asked Fitz, "So you said Harry's scar hurt last night? And maybe some other sensation in his stomach?"
"Yeah, although that second one I really don't know about," answered Fitz. "It could have been real, could have been imagined because of the scar pain, or it could have been my brain giving off weird feelings since I was highly aroused at the moment."
"I definitely had some sensations in my lower belly at the time," smirked Daisy, earning her an eyeroll from Simmons.
Otherwise ignoring her wife, Simmons said, "Last year Dumbledore said your scar hurt when Riddle was feeling particularly angry. Any reason to believe it was anything besides that?"
"Other than the fact, didn't both of those occurrences occur with visions as well — no," answered Fitz.
"That's right, they did," said Simmons. "Well, I don't know — maybe the visions only worked as long as Riddle didn't have a body? I mean, several things did change at the end of last year, and Dumbledore has never told us or Harry actually why Harry can feel certain things in regards to Riddle, so I don't know what of last year could be changing how and when your scar hurts."
"But we're in consensus that it's not worth telling any adults about?" asked Fitz.
"I don't think it is — how about you, Daisy-girl?"
"Nah — they didn't do anything about it last year when Harry did tell, so I doubt they'd do anything this year either even if there was something to do," answered Daisy.
Content with their decision, they resumed eating until a few minutes later when the morning post owls swooped in, and with them Hermione's copy of the Daily Prophet, which Simmons immediately began reading. Several minutes in, she lay the paper down in front of them all, and pointed to a small article.
"Hey, remember how Mad-Eye said we were late leaving on train morning because Podmore hadn't shown up? — Well, he was arrested for trespassing and attempted robbery at the Ministry very earlier that morning," she said.
"You know, I'm amazed they didn't tie him to being a supporter of Dumbledore," said Daisy as she and Fitz read the two sentences that comprised the 'article'. "A sort of, 'look, this is what happens when you believe Dumbledore's crazy lies' kind of thing."
"Maybe they don't know Podmore's a Dumbledorian? Seems unlikely, but given what they put Harry through all summer, you would think that they'd go after anyone they know is working for Dumbledore," replied Simmons.
"That's also really fast to have a trial," said Fitz. "It took Harry two business weeks almost, and they actively wanted his head on a pole to parade around. And this unknown is somehow trialed in under five days without any fanfare made about it at all? I would say he was one of the Ministry's own, but if that was the case then I'm surprised he was convicted. Unless trespass and attempted robbery is normally like a ten year sentence or something, and six months is a light tap on the wrist."
"Does seem like they knew something about him to get him in and out, whether he was ours, theirs, or someone else's," replied Simmons. "I do wonder what he mostly did for the Order though. If his arrest was related to Order business, could it have to do with that weapon Sirius managed to tell everyone about before Mrs Weasley came back into the room on the first night Harry was there? Maybe it's being stored at the Ministry, and it's a race to see who can get it away from the Ministry first between Riddle and the Order? That's not how Sirius made it sound, but he clearly wasn't telling us everything, if even much of anything."
"Maybe," replied Daisy. "Or maybe he's a double agent for the Ministry, hence the quick trial with no publicity but still getting convicted because they had to disavow him, and he was actually doing something for the Ministry, or a secret group inside the Ministry, that night. From these two sentences, it's really impossible to tell. I would say ask Sirius, but I really don't think he'll tell us anything, and more importantly, I'm having a hard time figuring out why we should care what Sturgy ol' boy was doing."
"You know, you do make a very compelling point there, wifey," said Fitz. "I vote for not caring."
"And what do you vote for doing instead?" asked Simmons, knowing better than to ask a question like that.
And she wasn't disappointed.
"Take a hike around the lake, and see if all our best snogging spots are still good for snogging in?"
Sunday evening, a screech owl with beautiful plumage knocked on the window of FitzSkimmons' common room.
It turned out to be a letter from Pompous Percy, perfect Ministry subject, congratulating Ronna on being selected prefect; telling her to stay away from Harry, that he was unbalanced and potentially violent, despite the fact that Percy hadn't seen or talked to Harry since the second task of the TriWizard Tournament almost seven months earlier and had always been on friendly enough terms with Harry during their three years at Hogwarts together; confirming their suspicions that the Ministry was trying to usurp Dumbledore and completely make Hogwarts a government-ran brainwashing camp; telling Ronna to worship the government and give all her loyalty to it instead of thinking for herself and holding the government accountable in everything they did; and reminding them that he thought they were all liars or delusional for saying and believing that Riddle was back.
Daisy immediately whipped out a fresh sheet of parchment from Simmons' well-stocked stack on the table, and began writing their rebuttal.
~.~
Dear Percy,
You seem to have made several crucial errors in your reasoning throughout your letter, whether intentionally or not, dear brother of mine.
Firstly, you talk as though following in the footsteps of Fred and George is something to be avoided at all costs, instead of strove for. Fred and George are going to make way more money than you as private small business owners, and also do a lot more good in this world than your brown-nosing to the Minister ever will. They are creating products and selling them to people who are voluntarily handing their money over to them because they want what the twins are producing, whereas you are working for an organization that can only get money by taking it from people at wandpoint, and then proceed to be the least efficient with it as possible, producing practically nothing but headaches, disgruntlement, and general bad feelings all around. I would much rather take the 'Fred and George Route' than follow in your shit-covered footsteps.
Secondly, you completely wasted your time by sending it at night. Harry, Hermione, and I are never further apart than ten feet at any point ever, since breakfast the day before we took the train back to Hogwarts — we never leave each other's sides anymore. So needless to say, they are with me right now as I read your letter and am replying to it, and in fact it was Hermione who physically held your letter while we all three read it together. Though technically it was away from prying eyes as you hoped, as neither Harry nor Hermione could be considered to have been prying when I freely wanted them to read it with me, and for the same basic reasons there weren't any awkward questions — though in part, that was also because none of us had any questions about your letter other than, 'Are you completely off your G*damn rocker?', which is never an awkward question, but had any of us had any questions with potentiality for awkwardness, none of them would have been awkward since we're three become one and have no secrets between us.
Third, regardless of how much Fudgie-Pie and Umbridge think they know about how much of Harry I'm seeing, they don't have a clue — we are so tight, it's like we're psychically linked, thicker than thick, you've never met three people who share more than the three of us do. Also, I seriously doubt I'm in any risk of losing my badge by 'fraternizing' with Harry, given the fact that he and Hermione are both prefects with me, and if Malfoy can get to be a prefect period, it's got to be pretty damn near impossible to lose a prefect badge.
Fourth, we don't really give a shit who's in charge of Hogwarts. We're just here to learn, not get involved in pathetic politics, and bickering and backstabbing by a bunch of power-hungry adults, on both sides of this disagreement. As mum would say (and repeatedly did over the summer to the point where she sounded like a broken record), 'we're too young'. And as for 'damaging to my future prospects' by being 'tarred' with the same brush as Harry in this political polarization that's going on right now, Harry is one of the richest people in the wizarding world — there is no greater security I could obtain for my future than marrying the richest guy in Britain, so I'll take my risks of 'being tarred with the same brush as Potter' if it gives me the cushy life of opulence and fantastic sex.
Fifthly, we feel compelled to ask you — how did Harry 'not come out of his disciplinary hearing looking too good'? Because he was declared not guilty, which last time we checked, was the best you could come out of a trial. Also, the 'mere technicality' he 'got off on' was that everyone, regardless of age or location (that they're legally in), is allowed to save their life by whatever means are necessary. Something that people who aren't trying to control other people call the most basic human right of all God-given human rights. So I'm afraid you're going to have to divulge your thought process a little more thoroughly for us to understand where you're coming from on your analysis of Harry's trial. And for your information on how a court system works, it doesn't matter how many people you've spoken to still think he's guilty, the full British Wizengamot Court that tried him declared him 'not guilty', which is all that matters.
Moving on to point number six, I suppose I technically am afraid to sever ties with Harry — BECAUSE MY LIFE WOULD BE EMPTY AND MEANINGLESS WITHOUT HIM IN IT! You nincompoop. There would be a giant hole in my life and heart that no one and nothing else could ever fill. Same as if I lost Hermione Granger. It would be a third of myself ripped out of me. So yeah, I'm more afraid of severing ties with Harry than I am of almost anything else in this world. So I guess you technically got that one correct, even if you got it completely wrong.
Seventhly, our loyalty is to right and wrong, and that is where it will remain until death, or given our luck, several deaths — and that's not even considering the fact I might actually be immortal thanks to an unusual blood transfusion (of sorts), and Harry and Hermione haven't aged a day in so long that if you go by looks at least, they're clearly immortal, too. But getting back to the main point, our loyalty isn't to Dumbledore, it isn't to the school, and it sure as fuck isn't to the Ministry. Where any of them are right, we will support them, where any of them are wrong, we will condemn them. None of them are perfect, none of those three are pure evil. Loyalty to any of them purely for loyalty's sake is never good, nor helpful to the betterment of wizardingkind. So perhaps instead of aligning yourself with sides, you should find out what's right and support that, and find out what's wrong and try to stop that, instead of telling other people to blindly put their loyalty in one side of a fight that no one's got it completely correct on.
Numero eight, we aren't trying to get Head Boy, Girl, and Girl, because we couldn't give less flips about it. Honestly, we really shouldn't have been given the three Gryffindor prefects, but what is, be.
Finally, if you were actually sorry not to see us children, you could have found a way. You could have striven to see your brothers and sisters even if you weren't willing to see mom and dad, but as far as I can tell, you never did. You stormed out of the house and never looked back, never thought twice about your siblings you left behind, never tried writing to us, never tried meeting us for tea and scones and crumpets, never did anything. So I'm struggling to see the sorrow you claim to have possessed over the summer. In fact, based on this letter, I'm struggling to perceive any sorrow you're supposedly feeling right now about not being able to see more of us. This letter was the furthest thing from a friendly older bro to younger sis convo you could have possibly written. Nothing about what you did over the weekend, nothing about seeing if we could meet up for tea on the next Hogsmeade weekend, no asking how school's been treating me so far. Just line after line of political bullet points that would make a good propaganda pamphlet for the Ministry to publish and mail out to everyone.
So on that note, shove a stick up your butt, and fuck off.
Your sister,
Ronna Weasley (and her bff's Harry Potter and Hermione Granger)
~.~
"Um, did you really need the piece of wood up the bum part, wifey dearest?" asked Simmons as she signed Hermione's name after Daisy and Fitz.
"Honestly, it probably won't be the least well thing to go over out of this letter," answered Daisy with a sigh. "And I just got fed up by the end — I'm not apologizing for art."
"I have to agree with the taller wife," said Fitz. "I think it summarized both letters quite nicely. Percy clearly already has one lodged up there, we're just asking him to lodge it a little more firmly."
"You two are terrible," sighed Simmons, shaking her head. "But on a more serious note, think he'll reply with another letter of his own after this?"
"No," answered Daisy confidently. "He won't try to speak to me again for a year after I ripped him a new one there. We're Percy free until we come back for sixth year after this."
~FSK~
The following morning before breakfast, FitzSkimmons took the letter up to the owlery to send away to Percy, assuring that he'd never try to tell Ronna what to do again.
Near the spiral staircase up to the tippy-top of the Owlery Tower they passed by Mrs Norris, who looked rather suspiciously like she was on watch duty, especially as she disappeared off down the hall as soon as they had passed her. Hoping she ran into a rat a little too big for her to handle, they continued on up to the owls, to find one to send off to London.
Seeing the trio enter, Hedwig and Pig both flew down to them, but Fitz said gently, "Sorry Hedge, but this is going to Percy at the Ministry or wherever he holes up when he's not living in his office, so I really doubt you want to deliver this letter — and same with you, Pig. We're going to send a school owl off for this one, and you two can have more interesting assignments with whatever we send next."
Sending the owl off, they descended back down the tower, before heading down towards the Great Hall and a little brekkie. But they had only made it a few hallways, taking the normal paths through the castle since it was still early and no one else was hardly up yet and they didn't mind the stroll, when Filch suddenly came running up to them as fast as he could, huffing and puffing like a wild canine of a potentially disagreeable disposition that was rather on the larger side all things considered, a scowl deeply etched on his quivering jowls.
"Aha!" he exclaimed. "I've had a tip-off that you are intending to place a massive order for Dungbombs!"
"Is that right?" said Daisy. "And who exactly tipped you off?"
"I have my sources," replied Filch with a hiss. "Now hand over whatever it is you're sending."
"Uh-huh — your 'sources'. Right," said Daisy, rolling her eyes. "Also, you do realize that we're several halls away from the Owlery, going in the exact opposite direction, don't you, you idiot? If we were sending anything, and not just climbing up there for exercise, to say hi to our owls, and have a good look at the grounds from an elevated vantage point, it would be long gone by now."
"Gone?!" raged Filch, clearly not having thought of the obvious. As FitzSkimmons just gave him 'Duh, you idiot' looks, he snarled, "How do I know you haven't got it in your pocket?"
FitzSimmons gave Filch a look of disbelief at his thickness, before Daisy suddenly said, "Here — have our entire robes," and pulled her robes off and tossed them at Filch, leaving her in her sports bra and running shorts, as it was still warm in the middle of September and robes were rather toasty, before striding off down the hall.
FitzSimmons and Filch all stared at her disappearing back for several seconds, before Fitz finally just shrugged and started following after, Simmons quickly following him, leaving Filch just standing there in shock.
When FitzSimmons caught up with Daisy a minute later, the younger girl said, "Guess we need to head back by our room real quick, for me to get another robe."
"Yeah, that was, um…something," said Simmons, shaking her head. "You didn't have anything in your robes, did you?"
"No, of course not," answered Daisy. "I never do. No iPhones in this world to keep in my pockets, and you two carry all the books and materials we need."
"Yes, which I'm still trying to figure out, since you're the strongest of the three of us, so why are we two the ones carrying everything?" asked Simmons.
"Because I'm the pretty one, and I need to keep my posture all perfect," Daisy smiled charmingly.
"Except your posture is truly horrendous most of the time, girl," reminded Simmons.
"Oh, right — then it's because you're the smart ones, and I'm the potato one."
"Nice reference, but I'm not sure it's very applicable, unless you're the couch potato one, which you still really aren't," said Fitz.
"Well, whyever it is you two so graciously carry all of our materials, what about the fact that Filch thought we were ordering dungbombs," said Daisy. "None of the three of our characters have ever ordered dungbombs before, have they?"
"I have a suspicion it had absolutely nothing to do with dungbombs," replied Simmons. "Filch seemed focused on Fitz, which means for him, Harry Potter. And Harry Potter is target number one or two for Umbridge and the Ministry, as reinforced by Percy's letter last night. On top of that, Harry was freed from the Ministry's clutches over the summer by Dumbledore himself at the kangaroo court, and was brought to the trial by Mr Weasley, one of Dumbledore's known lackeys. Which means from the Ministry's perspective, Harry Potter is likely in correspondence with Dumbledore's people, whether they specifically know the name 'Order of the Phoenix' or not. And as a student, what method of correspondence could Harry have other than owl mail? So all the Ministry has to do to find out all the secrets of Dumbledore, is intercept that correspondence — by accusing Harry of ordering contraband, thus letting them justify to themselves in reading all of his post. It's a smart move on their part, really. Illegal without a warrant, of course, but smart." Simmons paused for a second, before looking at Daisy and saying, "Like my spy work there?"
"Quite deductive — you're practically Sherlock Holmes," smiled Daisy. "I only have one suggestion to make. You say it's a way for the Ministry to justify illegally going through Harry's mail, and in a sense I think you're correct. But Filch doesn't really seem like the kind to directly work for the government, and he was the one who tried to steal Harry's property. And he said he had a tip-off that he of course wouldn't say who was. What if that tip-off was Umbridge or another government rat, and they're getting Filch to do their dirty work for them? He steals Harry's mail for his own reason of stopping students from potentially having fun, and then Umbridge swoops in and says she'll make sure the letters get back to me once Filch has seen that there's no contraband, giving her the opportunity to comb through them looking for top secret information on Dumbledore's resistance movement."
"Ooh, smart — that's why Coulson made you his replacement," replied Fitz.
"Definitely sounds like a solid theory," said Simmons, pushing open the door to their dorms so Daisy could get new robes for the day. "And regardless of who, how, and why, it certainly seems like someone's going to be snooping through Harry's mail this year."
~FSK~
At breakfast a little while later, Hermione's copy of the Daily Prophet flew down to them.
Plastered all over the front cover was the announcement that Umbridge was now 'High Inquisitor' (which was incredibly ironic considering how much she opposed any of the students being inquisitive), and that the Ministry had legislated themselves power over Hogwarts, something that the Hogwarts staff clearly wasn't willing to pick up arms against, as Umbridge hadn't been driven from the premises at wandpoint yet. This was also clearly the article Percy Weasley had been talking about in his letter the night before when he'd said in more flowery language that a foul wind was blowing at Hogwarts.
"I wonder how quickly Umbridge will begin inspecting the professors, and if 'making sure they're up to scratch' actually gives her power to do anything if they aren't proper Ministry stooges," said Daisy as they walked from the Great Hall to History of Magic, their first class of the morning.
"The article didn't specifically say, but with as positive as the article was, obviously either she can or Fudge can — but I repeat myself," answered Simmons.
"Think even they can go after the likes of Professor McGonagall?" asked Fitz. "She would obviously be the Ministry's first target assuming they still can't go directly after Dumbledore himself, but she's a very high-profile target in her own right to attack first."
"And she's smart. Maybe not us smart when it comes to tactics about things like this, but she knows to keep her head low and fly under the radar," replied Simmons. "She's not going to do anything that would risk her getting kicked out, and Umbridge is just as aware of that, and so won't be going after her unless something just falls in her fat, pink lap. No, I expect her to go after a lowly, easy target that no one cares about, just to flex her and the Ministry's power, and intimidate all the important professors into submission to the Ministry's demands."
"And that Ministry scramble to increase their power also explains how we came to be stuck with Umbridge instead of a professor in the first place," added Fitz.
"Which I actually don't get," replied Daisy. "So the article said if Dumbledore can't find a teacher, Ministry appoints — obvious move by the government, with questionable legality considering Hogwarts isn't a public school. But it's Dumbledore I don't understand here. When he couldn't find a teacher for this year, why not hire Mad-Eye? The real one, you know. We don't know exactly what's going on with the DADA position, just that something clearly is that's making teachers only last one year, but Mad-Eye's never actually taught, spending all of last year snoozing in a trunk."
"I suppose he's probably too busy doing whatever it is the Order's doing," answered Simmons. "And everyone else who could teach Defense, they have in fact figured out what we have, that no one lasts in the position for longer than a year, and in our four years alone we have death from possession by Riddle, memory loss, and kidnapping."
"I just can't believe there's not a single person who would take the position, when they have every year up until now," said Daisy. "I mean, honestly, Malfoy Dad would be a better teacher than Umbridge is. Sure, we'd be learning dark magic, but that would be more useful for saving your life than no magic at all, like we're getting with Government Stooge. And when it comes down to it, what could Mad-Eye actually be doing based on the nothing burger we've seen out of the Order so far, that would be more important in this war than teaching the next generation how to defend themselves, and keep them from being brainwashed by the government?"
"Yeah, but wizards don't seem to think like that — they all seem to think that the Order is actually doing something to stop Riddle. But as for Mr Malfoy — you know, that is an idea. What if Dumbledore had asked Mr Malfoy to teach?" said Fitz. "Is the Ministry truly in such denial that a Malfoy could have been a real Death Eater and so greedy for the Malfoy's money that they'd let him be the new teacher this year? Because they don't really want someone who's teaching anything, to be completely honest, but especially not dark magic, yet on the flip-side he's practically a saint in the eyes of the Ministry — they're really in a hard spot if they're even aware enough to know it."
"I don't thing they are aware enough, honestly," answered Simmons. "Or, I think all the bigwigs are so determined to be willfully ignorant of where their money comes from, that they've possibly even truly convinced themselves that he's innocent of any wrong or malicious intents. So to answer your question — yes, I think the Ministry would have been okay with it. And he definitely would have been more useful than Umbridge."
But by this point they'd reached Binns' classroom, bringing an end to their conversation. And they didn't think about professors or inspections again until the twins plopped down beside them at lunch.
"You lot had an inspected lesson yet?" asked Fred.
"Nope," answered Fitz. "We were wondering earlier how long it would take before she did start, though."
"She just inspected our Charms right before lunch," answered George.
"Flitwick's never been overly vocally in support of Dumbledore — he'll be fine," said Daisy. "I mean, I'm sure he does believe Dumbledore in all of this, but I don't think he'll have ever said or done anything publicly to get him on the Ministry's hit list."
"Hit list? — Isn't she just making sure everyone is teaching well enough to get everyone through their exams?" asked George. "Isn't that what they article said?"
"Not if our estimation is correct," answered Simmons, glancing around to make sure the blob of pink fat wasn't lurking about anywhere. "She's here from the Ministry to spy on the school, and specifically Dumbledore, to make sure he isn't teaching all the students that Voldemort is back. Which means this new position, while the public might be told is about making sure students will pass, is actually just an excuse to be able to fire professors who support Dumbledore. Umbridge, and the other uppers in the Ministry, don't give a shit about students passing or not — they just don't want Dumbledore convincing the majority of the student body that Voldemort is alive and a threat again, and then going back home and convincing their parents of the same, after the Ministry worked so hard all summer to convince everyone that he wasn't back, and that they were perfectly safe, and to just always trust the Ministry to protect them from everything."
"Oh," replied Fred in surprise. "I mean, we knew the Prophet was going after Dumbledore and Harry pretty hard all summer, and Umbridge has been the worst Defense teacher we've had in our seven years here, but is Umbridge really going to fire anyone who supports Dumbledore?"
"Actually, we don't think so," answered Daisy. "Her number one target would be Professor McGonagall, but McGonagall is smart enough to keep her head down, and without something really big, Umbridge won't be able to get public support on her side if she fires McGonagall without reason, or just for supporting Dumbledore. Even people who think Dumbledore is a dangerous, lying, lunatic, and might even think he should be removed as headmaster, know and like McGonagall from their own years here, and will have a hard time supporting her removal. So no, we don't think she's going after vocal Dumbledore supporters directly. We think she's going to go after a relative nobody, someone like Trelawney, the Muggle Studies professor, or probably Hagrid if he ever returns, just to flex her power and keep all the actual Dumbledore supporters that even she'd have a difficult time actually firing, on a leash. She doesn't need to fire them, she just needs to be able to hold a bluff over their heads."
~FSK~
When FitzSkimmons arrived at the DADA classroom that afternoon after Arithmancy, they found Lavender and Parvati angrily discussing in hushed whispers the Divination class they'd just come from.
Apparently Umbridge had inspected Trelawney's class, much to Lavender and Parvati's dismay from the way they were talking. From what FitzSkimmons could hear, the two of them were under the impression that Divination was too divine a subject to need to be inspected in the first place, especially by someone such as Umbridge who clearly didn't have the gift, and especially especially since the inspection hadn't exactly turned out favorable for the Divination teacher.
"And she asked her to just predict something on the spot, like it works like that!" they heard Lavender angrily exclaim.
"And how is Umbridge even supposed to know how good of a prediction it is right then, anyway?! It's a prediction!" added Parvati.
"She's got a good point," Daisy whispered to FitzSimmons. "Unless Trelawney happened to have a real prediction at the moment by astronomical chances, which still wouldn't be provable until who knows when, but at least would feel real based on Harry's account third year, any prediction she made couldn't be marked as right or wrong until some point later. And if Trelawney was smart, which I admittedly don't give her credit for, but if she was, she would make the prediction occur right after the end of the school year, after Umbridge is gone."
"True," said Fitz, but before he could say anything more, Umbridge called them all into the classroom, and all vocal communication had to be ceased for the following period.
Once everyone was inside the classroom and seated a few minutes later, Umbridge told them all to open their books to chapter two and read, no talking necessary. FitzSkimmons obediently opened their copies of Defensive Magical Theory, and began reading with the rest of the class. Only their books weren't exactly the same as anyone else's. Only fifty-percent of their books were actually the text of Defensive Magical Theory, and fifty-percent was the text of a fine little piece of literature titled 101 Practical Advanced Dueling Spells for Defeating Your Mortal Enemy, one of the many books Simmons had found for them in the library. She had put a spell on their copies of DMT to have DMT only on the right-hand pages, and their real book on the left-hand pages. Only half of each book could of course fit in their new hybrid books, but as they knew Umbridge was definitely the kind to follow a book chapter by chapter and not skip around a single time, and there was no way they would be able to read even half of their real book in a single DADA class, it worked out fine. If on the off chance Umbridge decided to have them read, they still had every page of the first half of DMT in their book, but as long as they were just reading silently to themselves, they could actually learn.
The lesson passed just as boringly as the first one had, not a word being spoken by anyone from the moment Umbridge told them to read until the bell rung signifying the end of class. Even Binns' classes weren't this boring, as while his voice might put you to sleep, he at least was talking the entire time, and everyone wasn't just sitting there staring unseeingly at the pages in front of them, only remembering to flip a page or five every quarter hour or so to make it look like they were actually reading, and not just sitting there in a daze or daydreaming. But if Umbridge noticed that no one was actually reading the worthless piece of propaganda she'd told them to, she never said anything, just sitting away at her desk lightly humming to herself, still looking towards Fitz an uncomfortably large amount.
Which FitzSkimmons were perfectly fine with (well, not the staring, that was borderline creepy and way beyond what they would report to the proper authorities in the real world, were proper authorities existed), as it meant less chance of them getting caught actually trying to learn something during the period.
~FSK~
Unfortunately FitzSkimmons weren't to get their normal week break from Umbridge again that week, though, as the very next day she was inspecting Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration class.
As expected, Professor McGonagall didn't try stirring up too much trouble as she went through her lesson, knowing where the line was with Umbridge and stopping well short of it, even if she didn't exactly keep her head down as much as FitzSkimmons expected her to, snapping quite a bit when the hag kept interrupting her class. But as they learned at supper, Transfiguration wasn't the only fifth year Gryffindor class Umbridge inspected that day.
They had already heard several of their fellow Gryffindors mention it, but midway through supper, Malfoy strolled up to them flanked as always by his bodyguards, and said without preamble, "I bet the great Oaf's going to be the first one fired when he finally returns. Professor Umbridge really didn't seem happy this afternoon to hear that he was shirking his duties, and I might have mentioned to her all about how I nearly died in third year to one of Hagrid's numerous monstrous beasts."
Everyone within hearing distance immediately turned to watch the first major encounter of the year between Hogwarts' two most mortal of enemies.
"Feel real proud of yourself there, do you, lying your ass off? Think your mom would be real proud of how her son turned out, lying to Ministry officials? Oh, wait, your dad's spent his entire life doing that as a Muncher of Deceasedness for Riddle, and your mom clearly doesn't love you, so yeah — your dad probably would be proud of you, and your mom doesn't give a fuck what you do so long as you're not dirtying up her house," Daisy retorted boredly, Fitz and Simmons not even bothering to turn around from where they were eating to face the Snakelet like Daisy had. "Now fuck off, we don't give a shit about you or what you told Umbridge about Hagrid."
"And from what we overheard yesterday afternoon, Trelawney may be gone before Hagrid even returns, which would make it impossible for Hagrid to be fired first," added Fitz, still not turning around.
Several seats down Lavender and Parvati turned to glare at him, but no one paid them any attention. Malfoy, meanwhile, stared at FitzSkimmons in shock. He'd known for sure that dissing Hagrid would rile Harry up, it had every year before, and yet here the three of them were just sitting there boredly, like they really didn't care what happened to Hagrid.
After several seconds, he finally said, "Perhaps you didn't hear what I said, Potter. Your best friend Hagrid, the great idiot oaf who teaches Care of Magical Creatures class, is going to get fired by Professor Umbridge the first day he returns, the very first class, because he's a sub-par teacher."
"No, yeah, heard you loud and clear the first time," Simmons replied indifferently, as she scooped out a serving of vegetables from the dish onto first Fitz's, and then Daisy's plates, to make them eat their veggies.
Grumbling, both of them began slowly eating the bland plants like obedient little rabbits, continuing their complete ignoring of Malfoy.
But behind them, Malfoy was standing there clueless. In all his planning, he had never once considered the idea that they simply wouldn't care. How could Harry Potter not care, the great oaf was his best, and often only, friend at the school, wasn't he? And yet there they were, not reacting in the least, even throwing back their own insults about his mum, leaving him completely flummoxed on how he was supposed to proceed.
But eventually that was decided for him, as after their vegetables and dessert were gone, FitzSkimmons stood up and walked past him like he wasn't even there, out of the Great Hall and out of his range of ridiculing.