I followed the guard back to the cell block. The news about Jadzia had not sunk in then, and all I could think about was whether the Chief would be able to convince Sisko that I was innocent. I walked back into my cell calmly, holding out my hands for the restraints to be removed. I had noticed Miles' face when he had seen them, and his shock at seeing me wearing them. I had got used to them now, and barely noticed them on my wrists.

I sat on my bed in the cell, feeling calm, calmer in fact than I had felt since I had been brought to the Starbase. I just sat, thinking. Not daydreaming about DS9 as I would usually do through the empty hours in the cell, but thinking instead about trivial things, like maths problems and recipes. It was not for several hours that the news of Jadzia set in. I was sitting contented in my cell, when suddenly I realised that Jadzia was dead, that she would not live to see my innocence proved, that she would not be on DS9 to welcome me home. She would never know that I was innocent, she would never know that I succeeded in giving her a child. She died believing that I was a traitor and a bad doctor, unable to give her and Worf a child together.

I tried to hold back the tears. I tried to think of the happier times, the times we had together, all the little things which made us laugh. But they were gone, they had gone when the temple had become a death trap. I felt the warm tears trickling out of my eyes, and scrunched my hands into fists to hold them back. Instead I felt their warmth and saltiness burning my hands slightly, making my face sore. I sat on my bed and let myself weep freely for Jadzia, I had no other choice. I could not stop the flow of tears.

I could not sleep either, and lay in the darkness, cold and alone. All I could think about was how I might have been able to save her if I had been there. If I had betrayed Starfleet, then it had cost another life. Surely they must have some convincing evidence if they took me away and stopped me from doing my job, from saving lives. What did they know that I didn't? Did Jadzia die believing that I was a traitor? Did she hate me? Did she even believe the allegations? Would O'Brien tell Sisko that I was innocent? Was I even still innocent after Jadzia's death?

The thoughts went round and round inside my head. I stood up, in an effort to free myself from them and walked to the forcefield, hoping maybe to see someone, to make eye contact. There was no one there, they were all asleep. I sat down by the forcefield, looking out, trying to reconcile myself to the situation, maybe, or just trying to shake the thoughts about Jadzia. I did not move from the floor, and eventually, I must have dozed off, because the next think I remember is the cell powering up and finding myself in an uncomfortable heap on the floor. For one moment, I felt almost serene, calm and relaxed. I took a deep breath, then suddenly remembered the news. Jadzia is dead!

That day I just sat in my cell, trying to comprehend what had happened. I ate nothing. I was not hungry and I did not cry. I just sat, staring into space. I did not leave my cell during association, indeed. I hardly noticed it happening around me. I was oblivious as the forcefields fell and rose, duty shifts changed and meals were handed out. I do not remember anything that I thought about, I was probably not thinking of anything. It was then, during some of the lowest days of my imprisonment that I received the PADD detailing my hearing.

The PADD simply read "Stardate 65435.3 - evaluation and preliminary hearing of Bashir; Julian. Present-Sloan; Deputy Director-Internal Affairs, Tim'Anna; Admiral-Internal Affairs, Hall; Admiral Internal Affairs Branch B. Nachayev; Admiral Starfleet Security. Taylor; Admiral-Starfleet Security" I could make head nor tail of it and had to ask the others.

"It's your preliminary hearing" Jamatina told me

"they're going to go through the evidence. see if there's enough to justify keeping you here for further questioning"

"And if they don't find enough evidence?" I replied

"Then they'll let you go. It does happen."

"Sometimes" snorted Ben sarcastically.

The day of the hearing, I made a special effort. I took my shower allowance and claimed a clean uniform, to put on a good impression. I was marched to the interrogation room, but without the restraints, and with five people on the other side of the table, not just the two I was used to.

Admiral Hall introduced the hearing

"Julian Bashir. You were arrested on Stardate 65357.1 on suspicion of espionage and treason. This hearing is to determine whether there are grounds for continued questioning. If at any point you are unsure as to what is going on or you want a point clarified, please make this known to us. You will be given the opportunity to comment on the case presented. As you know, Director Sloan will be presenting the evidence. Director Sloan. please begin when you are ready"

Sloan stood up, cleared his throat and began. He listed every little mistake I had ever made. Everything, from Bopak, which maybe was an error of judgement, to my work with the genetically modified patients, which certainly was not. He even dragged out incidents from years ago, my work with Odo and Odo's adopted baby. Even my friendship with Garak was held up as evidence. My modifications were also a prime target, as was my imprisonment in 371. I tried to correct him, but Sloan could provide far more plausible explanations than I could for the discrepancy between Martok's and my stories. The more I listened to Sloan, the more compelling the evidence became, even to me. Psychological evaluations compiled by the mysterious Betazoid and brain scans were even submitted, as evidence of possible engrammatic dissociation. Sloan even managed to trap me into explaining the anomaly shown in the scan, an anomaly which I knew was a result of my modification, but which could indicate engrammatic dissociation. Finally, Sloan launched his last bombshell.

"Permission to enter evidence from Bashir's fellow officers onto the record?"

"Permission granted" nodded the Chairman.

The screen on the wall fizzled into life and I saw O'Brien and Sloan, clearly this was footage of an interrogation session on DS9.

"So, you and Bashir crashlanded on Bopak III after shuttle malfunction?"

"Yes" replied O'Brien

"What did Bashir do on the planet?"

"He attempted to cure the Jem'Hadar addiction to Ketracel White."

"How did you feel about that?" Asked Sloan. I could tell from O'Brien's answers that he had been asked these questions many times during the interrogation

"I was angry. To tell you the truth, I thought he'd forgotten that the were the enemy, and that if he cured the addiction, then we would have no chance to win the war. But, that's Julian. he's like that, his love of medicine sometimes takes over."

"Takes over?" Repeated Sloan. "In what way?"

"He is a doctor before anything else. Does that make sense? If he can save a life, he will fight to do so, regardless of who he is trying to save."

"So, to Doctor Bashir, his medical work would take a higher priority than Starfleet orders?"

Miles paused for a long time, he realised the trap he had fallen into. Eventually he took a deep breath and said

"Yes. Julian would help anyone he could if they needed it, regardless of Starfleet orders."

"What is his attitude to the war, do you think?"

"I don't know. I think he struggles to understand what the fighting is for, he can see all these individual lives in a way that I can't. The report you asked me about earlier. That was all about saving lives, it's more important than war. For him, maybe?"

"How far would Bashir go to save lives?"

Miles was getting tired, it was obvious. Tired, frustrated and clearly annoyed with himself for falling into the interrogation trap. He snapped back

"I don't know. Look, you've read his report. Even you have to admit it took guts to write!He risked everything to develop a strategy to save lives. I might disagree with it, but I respect what he did!"

Back in the hearing room, Sloan turned from the screen and tapped on a PADD. The image of O'Brien faded out, and was replaced by an image taken from the DS9 security cameras, the first night I was held in the holding cells, after being dragged through the promenade and humiliated by Sloan's cronies and their chains.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

I heard my voice, horror-stricken, sounding so alone. I could hear the tremor of fear, echoing around the holding cell.

"I don't think you're lying, Julian" responded Sisko

I had not noticed at the time just how uncomfortable he looked saying that,

"But..." My voice again, interrupting, if anything with even more fear and uncertainty.

"But, as a doctor, isn't it in the realm of medical possibility that the Dominion did recruit you and you have blocked it out of your memory?"

"Even if it is possible, it didn't happen!"

There it was again, the horror, the fear. The feeling of abandonment.

"it's late, try to get some sleep" Sisko left the holding cells and with those words, pulled the rug completely out from under my feet.

I heard my head hit the back of the holding cell. The nightmare was well and truly under way.

The footage then switched to Sisko's interview

"Yes" Sisko was saying "he has made several bad judgements in his time. But does that make him a traitor?"

"you tell me. You made a report to Admiral Hall following Bashir's return from Internment Camp 371. I quote, 'the report of the escape from Camp 371 does seem too simplistic to be a full account of events. I do feel some concern about this, though all officers have had full medicals and no evidence of foul play has been found. However, I do have concerns at this point.' Do you deny writing this report?"

"No," replied Sisko

"So you did have suspicions at the time?"

"Not really, something felt wrong, that's all. I just wanted to make Starfleet aware"

The interrogation room on the Starbase suddenly felt very cold. I had been betrayed. What I had experienced on 371 had been horrific, had taken me to the limits. The escape attempt had been an act of desperation because I could see what was going to happen if we stayed an longer. For Captain Sisko to devalue what we had done, that hurt. It also provided the most compelling evidence for the panel.

By the time the panel left the room to deliberate and I sat in the room alone aside from a silent guard, I knew it was inevitable, I would not be released.

"Julian Bashir." Announced Admiral Hall, as the panel re-entered the room.

"It is the finding of the evaluation panel that the evidence is sufficient to justify holding you at Starbase 53 for further questioning. We hereby authorise Deputy Director Sloan, under the guidance of Admiral Tim'Anna, to hold you for the length of time they see fit in order to compile a case for the Judge Advocate General's Office."