The answering machine was blinking when she got to her apartment. She pressed the button and sighed deeply. It was her mother. Abby settled herself on the couch and pushed the auto dial button on the phone.

"Hi, Mom," Abby said when Maggie answered. They talked for a while...Maggie going a mile a minute about a new job...a new friend... a new hair color. Listening to her, Abby felt herself being pulled back into her childhood. All the manic episodes when it was almost fun to be part of Maggie's world...followed by the deep and long lasting depressions.

She sat in the dark for a long time after Maggie hung up. Her thoughts were racing...and piling up...and racing...and piling up. She felt bile begin to build up in her throat. She felt rooted to her seat on the couch.

Abby picked up the phone again and dialed the only number that she could think of. She swallowed hard as she waited for someone to answer.

"Susan..."Abby choked. "Can you talk to me for a while...please?"

"Abby?" Susan asked worriedly. "What's the matter?"

"I...I can't breathe..." she choked. "I can't move off the couch..."

"Abby", Susan asked quietly but sternly. "Where's Luka?" Abby clung tightly to the phone and blinked back the tears in her eyes.

"He's at the hospital," she choked. "He is waiting for a patient to come out of surgery."

"Okay," Susan's voice was calming. "Think about what you are telling me. How are you feeling?" Abby's heart was racing and she swallowed. She had drawn herself into a tight ball on the couch.

"I can't...I can't breathe..." she said. "My heart is pounding..." Abby choked and closed her eyes tightly. "It hurts."

'Honey...take a deep breath for me now..." Susan was beginning to panic on the other end. Abby pressed the phone to her ear and nodded. She stopped and took a deep breath.

"Let it out, Abby," Susan ordered. 'I can't hear you breathing. Abby?"

"I'm here," she managed to say.

"Think, Abby," Susan asked. "Are you having any pain anywhere else?"

"Just when I breathe," Abby said. "And my head is ringing."

"Take another breath, Abby," Susan ordered. "In...and out. In and out... You're doing fine. I can hear you. Is it better now?" Abby was silent as she squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on taking slow and easy breaths.

"I think you're having a panic attack, Abby," Susan said. "Either that or your blood pressure is soaring. Try to relax. I'm going to have Chuck call Luka on our cell phone."

"No...don't do that," Abby cried. "I'll be fine." She breathed in and out slowly and the pain in her chest began to lessen.

'What happened?" Susan demanded when Abby was calmer.

"I talked to Maggie tonight," Abby said.

"Damn it, Abby," Susan scolded. "You are no longer allowed to talk to your mother OR your brother unless someone is home with you! Do you hear me?"

"Yes ma'am," Abby smiled a little.

"And you are to tell Coburn about this," Susan ordered. "When is your next appointment?"

"Next week," Abby let out a deep breath.

"What did Maggie say to you?" Susan asked.

"It was nothing," Abby said as she straightened a little on the couch. "She just sounded..."

"Like she is off her meds again?" Susan finished.

"No," Abby said. "Not like that...it's just remembering" Abby stopped as she felt the rising panic again.

"Let's not talk about that now," Susan said calmly. "What's going on at the hospital these days? How are Neela and Ray? Chuny?" Before long Abby was calm and chuckling a little as she and Susan traded stories. The apartment door opened and Luka strode in. He shut the door, threw his coat off and crossed the room to her. He turned on the light next to her. He had a dark frown on his face. Abby looked up for a second and then dissolved into tears as he sat next to her. She dropped the phone and pressed herself against him. Luka wrapped his arms around her as she began to sob. He reached for the telephone. He held Abby close.

"Thank you for calling me, Susan," he said. "I'm home now."

"Take care of her, Luka," Susan said. "For God's sake do not let her talk to her mother when she is home alone any more." Luka nodded.

"We'll call you again tomorrow," he said and hung up the phone. He held Abby for a long moment and then moved to sit with her on the couch. Abby clung to him as he waited for the sobs to stop. Luka took a blood pressure cuff out of his jacket pocket and put his stethoscope in his ears. Abby shook her head.

"I'm fine..." her voice trailed off as he frowned at her. She was quiet as he took her blood pressure.

"It's okay," he said as he took the cuff off her arm. He gazed at her sternly.

"Do you want to talk to me now?" he asked. Abby shook her head.

"I'm okay...really," she said. "It's just...Maggie." Tears welled up in her eyes again. "How can we do this, Luka? How can we do this to a baby?" Luka wrapped his arms around her carefully.

"Our baby is fine," he said gently.

"When it was just me, I could handle it. I've learned how to get through things, you know?" she said tearfully. "But how can I keep this baby safe? How can I stop this from happening to it?" Luka held her away from him and tipped her face to his.

"You listen to me," he said. "You're not alone anymore. You don't have to hide in a closet. You don't have to pretend that everything is all well...any more." Abby nodded and sniffed.

"We will both take care of our child," he said firmly. 'No matter what happens. I promise you. You are not...in this...all...alone." She looked at him and started to cry again.

"Damn these hormones," she sobbed. Luka chuckled and hugged her close for a long time.