Heeeeeey y'all! This is Nakoya, and this is my first fic. SSBM obviously, my fav. So wish me luck, and don't shoot if it sucks. I'm totally a n00b. So have mercy! At least I know my grammar and puncuation. . Well, enjoy! With love, Nakoya. Oh, and comments and critisism are always welcomed. Well, constructive critisism. No flaming. Just...help me out here. This varies between text format and paragraph format depending on the situation. I've cut out Young Link, Jigglypuff, and Dr. Mario because they are pointless. Dr. Mario is the Mansion doctor though, so he's kinda there. I don't own anything. Well, go for it.

Life in the Smasher's Mansion

Chapter One - The Conference

It was another splendifurous afternoon in the Smasher's Mansion, the sun high in the sky, the bird's flying in the warm sunny air, and HALF THE SMASHERS STILL ASLEEP! Honestly, you'd think they'd have to be training or something, but noooo, they just slack off and sleep in 'til three. Past two of their ever-so-important meals. And about a dozen of their ever-so-crucial practices. The only ones awake were Peach, Zelda, Pichu, and Marth. Hm, must be a girl thing.

"Oh, those boys and Samus are always so lazy!" Peach exclaimed, hoping to maybe wake a couple of them up. She hurried upstairs to the bedroom hallway and kicked open every door as loud as she could in her pink high-heels. "Wake up you lazy so-called smashers! Can't you see it's 3:30 in the afternoon? I guess not, all you can see is the insides of your eyelids! Now WAKE-UP!" She continued huffing down the hallways, about to kick open Ganondorf's door, when she sighted Master Hand at the other end of the hall. Peach's eyes widened and she curtsied politely before her master.

But he just smiled (assuming that's possible). "It's ok, Peach. You're just doing your job, and that's what I like to see. Keep up the good work." He walked, er, floated past the young princess, but she'd lost her furious rampageness and instead just returned to the kitchen to make herself...whatever. She could hear other smashers start to get up and get dressed, so she was quite proud of herself.

Just then, Zelda entered the kitchen, followed by her best friend Samus, who'd been asleep on the sofa. And gotten hell from Master Hand for it. "Oh, honestly Samus. When will you learn that you aren't allowed to sleep outside of your bedroom?" Zelda lectured casually. Samus rolled her emerald green eyes and sat at the dining table next to Marth, who just seemed to appear there out of nowhere.

"Look, Zel. I was watching tv and just fell asleep. So shoot me." Marth looked at Samus strangely.

"Um...Samus? We don't have a tv in the living room...we never have." Samus stared at Marth...and shrugged.

"So now I'm crazy huh?" Samus hung her head. "Everyone's against me, I swear."

Zelda laughed kindly. "No, you just need better excuses." She resumed cleaning the countertops of the mess that seemed to appear there...out of nowhere. Speaking of countertop messes, Master Hand wa-...floated in at that moment. "We're having a meeting in about an hour, so be ready. More like a conference really, so try to get all dressed up and we'll all go to dinner later. All of the smashers. I'm going to tell them right now, so meet me in the Conference Room. See you then, ladies." Marth was about to say something, but decided it was useless.

"Wow, a meeting? I wonder what for. We haven't had one in about 3 months," Samus commented. Peach giggled and Zelda picked up Pichu, leaving for her room to get ready. Marth...left for somewhere. Probably her room. I mean his room. Gosh, I'll never get that down...

In the Conference Room

-enter C. Falcon, Fox, Falco, Mr. Game, DK, Ganondorf, Roy, Kirby, Ness, Popo, Yoshi, Mario, Luigi, Pikachu, and Pichu

C. Falcon: Where's Zelda?

Fox: Where's Link?

Mr. Game: beep beep beep

DK: Where's Peach?

Ganondorf: Where's Bowser?

Roy: Where's Marth?

Ness: Where's Mewtwo?

Popo: Where's Nana? Oh, wait. I know...

Yoshi: Where's Master Hand?

Mario: Where's Peach?

DK: I said that already!

Pikachu: Where's...uh...Samus! Yeah, where's Samus...?

Pichu: pichu pi pichu!

-enter Master Hand

Master Hand: they are getting ready. They're girls, so they take longer.

DK: Bowser's a girl!

Ganondorf: Link's a girl! I knew it!

Pikachu: Mewtwo's a girl!

Yoshi: Master Hand's a girl!

Roy: ...You're retarded.

Master Hand: Oh look. Here comes one now.

-enter Samus, who's wearing a lavender silk dress with black high-heels and black gloves up to her elbows, her blonde hair neatly in sticks, wearing more makeup than anyone's every seen, also wearing quite a bit of jewelry.

C. Falcon: ...

Ganondorf: ...

Fox: ...

Falco: ...

Mario: ...

Luigi: ...hey, Mario! What would Peach think of this!

DK: ...

Roy: ...

Kirby: ...hehehehe

Ness: ...

Mr: Game: ...beep

Pikachu: ...Wow, Samus! You look pretty!

Yoshi: Shut up, Pikachu.

Pikachu: (sobbs)

MH: Well, Samus. You've really outdone yourself. When I said dress up, I didn't mean like this! Well, maybe I did, but...

Samus: Thanks everyone. I've had this dress forever and never seemed to have worn it, so I figured why not?

Ness: But what about all that jewelry and makeup?

Samus: Oh, it's all Peach's. Using without permission, don't tell her.

Ness: it would be a miracle if it were actually yours...

Samus: Well? Where's everyone else?

C. Falcon: We're over here!

Samus: No, all the other girls.

C. Falcon: ...We're over here!

Ganondorf: Speak for yourself!

C. Falcon: (getting beat up by everyone who took offense. So, everyone except Kirby, Pikachu, and Yoshi.)

MH: Here comes someone else...

-enter Link, and Marth, who actually look like they put some thought into their outfits.

Samus: Hey guys!
Marth: Hey. what's she so happy about?

Link: i don't know...who is she?

Marth: ...nevermind.

MH: All of you guys should take your attire into consideration like these two. It's helps show you have...common sense.

Roy: psh, no way.

Ganondorf: Yeah, that's gay. I'm wearing the same thing I wore last month.

Ness: But you washed it, right?

Ganondorf: Of course not! Who in their right mind would actually wash their clothes!

Samus: I do.

C. Falcon: I do.

Falco: I do.

Fox: I do.

Mario: I do. Well, Peach does, but they do get washed.

DK: I wash my tie.

Roy: I do. I just don't care about what I wear.

Luigi: I wash my clothes. By myself.

Mario: Shut up.

Ness: I do.

Kirby: I do.

Roy: You don't even wear clothes!

Kirby: ...How do you know?

Yoshi: I do!

Ganondorf: You don't either!

Yoshi: Stop picking on me!

Ganondorf: Ok, so you wash your clothes. You're all gay.

Link: Whatever, someone else is coming.

Ganondorf: Stop trying to change the subject!
Link: I'm just saying! Someone else-

Ganondorf: Don't you talk back-

Link: I can do whatever I want you ugly-

Ganondorf: Don't start calling me-

Link: Don't tell me what to-

Ganondorf: Don't try-

Zelda: GUYS! Shut up!

Link: ...When did you get here?

Zelda: Somewhere around the 3rd insult.

Link: Oh...told you someone else was coming.

Ganondorf: Shut up.

Zelda: Well? How do I look? wearing a pink and white long dress with short flaring sleeves, jewelry, white high-heels, her normal white gloves (bleached, oh yeah...), silver belt, triforce earrings, and some really expensive looking ring

Ganondorf: ...

C. Falcon: ...

Fox: not again...

Samus: You look great Zel...

Kirby: Yeah, stop gloating.

Mario: You always look great though.

Luigi: What would Peach say!

Pikachu: You also look very pretty, Zelda!

Zelda: Thank you.

Samus: ...

Pikachu: ...I already told you that.

Samus: (sigh) So what's the big meeting about?

MH: Wait until everyone else gets here.

Marth: Who's left?

MH: Peach, Bowser, Mewtwo, and Nana.

Marth: Oh, Mewtwo told me he wasn't coming.

DK: Mewtwo actually told someone something! (faints)

Fox: I think I overheard Bowser saying he felt bad. So he probably won't come either.

Falco: He wouldn't have come anyway.

Zelda: Hey! There's Peach!

-enter Peach, wearing a spring green short dress, white tall leather boots with laces, bracelets, a small necklace, Mario's ring, her hair in some fashion of a bun, silver earrings, and a white fur coat.

Samus: ...

C. Falcon: ...

Ganondorf: ...where you get that dress?

Mario: Hi Peach! You look great!

Luigi: I'm still gonna tell her...

Zelda: Wow Peach, I love that coat!

Peach: Thanks everyone!

Link: ...

Roy: ...I thought this was a meeting...

Marth: So did I.

Roy: No you didn't, you dressed up too.

Marth: I always dress up.

MH: Ok, now we're all waiting on Nana.

30 minutes later

Popo: Oh yeah! Nana went back to Alaska to see her family.

MH: ...

everyone else: ...

MH: ...kill him.

10 minutes later, Popo is tied to a chair.

MH: Now, about the meeting. I'm here to announce that we will complete our rank testings with an interview.

everyone: (groans)

MH: You'll all be interviewed by an...interviewer about your career as a smasher and also your personal life.

Roy: ...

Marth: ...

Link: ...

Zelda: ...

MH: You must tell them the truth and answer every question sincerely. You'll go in one at a time, and you have to dress up.

Roy: shit, what's with all this dressing up crap?

Ganondorf: hell if i know.

Peach: When will this be?

MH: Starting tomorrow, in random order.

Yoshi: Cool!

Kirby: What's cool?

Yoshi: Random order!

Ness: ...Can we tie him up too?

MH: Be my guest.

Yoshi gets tied to his chair

MH: Now, let's go out to dinner! How does this interview sound to everyone?

Marth: sounds like a load of-

MH: (glares at Marth)

Marth: Fun! Sounds like a load of fun!

MH: Good! Now let's go.

all leave for some fancy resteraunt

Peach: Where are we eating?

Roy: More like what are we eating?

Mario: Italian, duh.

Zelda: I'm in the mood for chinese.

Ganondorf: I'm thinking more like Mexican personally.

Link: Really? I was thinking seafood.

Samus: That's funny, because I'm really craving some hamburgers.

Popo: Oh, too bad, because I want ice cream.

all: considering ice cream

Ganondorf: Nah, I still want Mexican.

Ness: I want Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Zelda: Too bad! I want Chinese!

Link: Well, we're having seafood!

Luigi: Italian you morons!
Fox: How about Thai?

Samus: Hamburgers!
Popo: Ice cream!

Ness: KFC!

Mr. Game: beep beep beep beep!

Zelda: hmm, good thing no one can understand him. Chinese!

Peach: I want a fruit salad!

Roy: I want Cajun!

Luigi: Italian!

Samus: HAMBURGERS!

Popo: Ice cream!

Link: Seafood!

Ganondorf: Mexican!

Pikachu: Steak!

Pichu: pichu pichu!

Ness: KFC dammit!

Roy: Cajun dammit!
Popo: Ice cream dammit!

Zelda: Chinese dammit!
Ganondorf: Dammit!

Link: What?

Ganondorf: MEXICAN!

Fox: Ok, so not Thai...

Mario: Italian DAMMIT!

Peach: What happened to my fruit salad?

Link: Seafood and that's final!

Popo: Ice cream and that's final!

Link: That can't be final! Seafood is!

Zelda: No, Chinese is!

Roy: No, Cajun is! And that's final!

Samus: I still say hamburgers!

Ganondorf: Whatever! We're having Mexican either way!
Pikachu: Steak!
Peach: Fruit salad!

Ness: KFC!

Link: Seafood!
Zelda: Chinese!

Samus: Hamburgers!

Roy: Cajun!

Ganondorf: Mexican!

Mario: Italian!
Popo: Ice cream!

MH: (pulling into McDonalds)

Samus: YESSSSS IN YOUR FACE I KNEW WE WERE HAVING HAMBURGERS!

MH: (dropping off movies in drop-off box)

Samus: ...

Link: ...Seafood it is.

Popo: I don't think so. Try ice cream.

Ganondorf: I told you, mexican.

Falco: ...Boy, these people are a bunch of dumbasses.

Marth: No kidding.

Fox: I thought Thai would've worked.

Mr. Game: beep beep beep

Marth: He says "no one likes thai you jackass"

Mr. Game: beep beep! beep beep!

Fox: (proceeding to beat Mr. Game to a 2 dimensional pulp)

Peach: Fruit salad!

Zelda: Chinese!
Samus: (rocking back and forth in the feedle position)

Ganondorf: Mexican you bitches!
Link: Seafood you bitch!

Ganondorf: Excuse me?

Link: You heard me!

Roy: Cajun! I vote Cajun!

Popo: Ice cream!

Roy: Hey...wait a minute.

all: (silence)

Roy: Didn't we tie Popo to a chair?

Ganondorf: Yeah?

Roy: Then why is he here now?

all: (pondering)

Popo: ...(jumps out car window)

Zelda: ...Chinese!

all: (argument continues)

Pikachu: Let's let Master decide!

MH: ...I'm gonna go with barbeque.

all: ...

What will happen at the barbeque joint? Will Master Hand survive the angry mob? Will there even be an angry mob! What became of Popo? What is Nana doing? What're Mewtwo and Bowser, and even Yoshi doing? Find out next time! In

chapter two!