ABC Owns Them

Chapter 13

Natalie awoke sometime in the morning, she hadn't realized she slept for so long, she was just suppose to sleep for a little while and then take care of Thomas when she looked over next to her on the bed and there they were. John was lying with Thomas on his chest and they were sleeping peacefully. She smiled before she could catch herself, how many times did she picture this in her head, she asked herself, John holding their baby, when she was pregnant it was all she dreamt about, John and their baby, the three of them, she reached her hand over and touched Thomas forehead and she felt he was no longer warm, her hand went up to John's face and lightly touched it. She shook her head and held back a few tears, how it would be so easy to just let him back in to her life, her heart, Heck who was she fooling he never left her heart, it would be so easy to just let him have all of her again but, but she couldn't hurt like that again, she had hurt to much over John Mcbain, he may be the father of her child now but she needed to keep him at that, nothing more, nothing more to her, they would strictly be about Thomas, that is if he was going to stay in town and be a father. She looked at him holding her boy and she knew that at least for Thomas, John Mcbain would stay. He would stay and be a father to his child. Natalie quietly got out of bed and she picked Thomas up out of John's arms and she saw John jump up when he felt him gone. John sat up and looked at her in a confused state.

"It's okay John, lay back down, he's okay, I'm going to put him back to sleep in his crib it's still early" Natalie told him as she saw him lay back down. Natalie went inside and put Thomas in his crib and then went down stairs to start coffee. A few minutes after the coffee was made she saw John walk into the kitchen.

"I couldn't go back to sleep, I think now's a good time to talk about us" John told her as she pointed to the coffee mug and spoon she left out on the counter for him. John fixed himself a cup of coffee and then sat across from her at the table.

"John, if you want to discuss Thomas, we can discuss things but I..We don't have anything else to discuss." Natalie told him as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes, I know we do" John told her, as she didn't feel like getting into this so she nodded her head no

"Natalie, I want you to listen, you asked me last night what I want to do about Thomas, visitation, custody spending time with him, and I want him raised by two parents in a loving home, a home where the parents love each other and trust each other. I want us to raise him together, to be those loving parents for him, for him to be a part of a family." John told her and she kept shaking her head no.

"That's not going to be possible John, it's not going to work out that way" Natalie told him as she sipped her coffee.

"Just listen Natalie, listen, open up your heart and hear me. I know I hurt you, we hurt each other, we've had a few chances at this now and we haven't been able to get it right but this time we will, we have a kid to get it right for, we can put away our fears and insecurities and we can just love each other, love each other like we are suppose to, raise our son and maybe even a few more kids, it's suppose to happen for us Nat, that's the way it's suppose to be." John told her as he continued to look into her blue eyes. He saw them fill up with tears as she spoke.

"I don't believe in that anymore John, I believe in you and me going it alone, at least alone for now, maybe we'll both meet someone else, maybe we'll both be happy with other people and we'll learn to trust love again, but us, no it's not going to play out that way, we took a few shots and it didn't work, I'm not putting myself out there to be hurt again." Natalie said as he got up from his seat to walk closer to her when the phone on the wall rang. Natalie quickly got up and walked around the table the opposite way than he was walking and she answered it.

"Hello" Natalie said answering the phone

"Hi, Hugh, yes I'm fine and so is Thomas, yes that's fine bring his stuff by, I'll see you in a few minutes." Natalie said and got off the phone. The minute John heard it was Hugh a strange feeling ran thru his body, a feeling of Jealousy.

"What did he want?" John said bitterly

"Excuse me?" Natalie asked not liking his tone, John knew he had to control his jealousy there was no room for it here, not here when he was trying to make her see that he would never hurt her again.

"I'm sorry, it didn't come out right. What stuff is he bringing by?" John said changing his attitude

"Thomas' stuff I left at Michael and Marcie's" Natalie told him as she took her cup off the table and started washing it out.

"Natalie, back to what I was saying a few minutes ago," John said watching her wash the cup over and over.

"John I'm not discussing us any longer, you know how I feel about it and that's it, no more" Natalie told him as she faced the sink with her back to him.

"Natalie, Natalie look at me," John said as he guided her to turn around with his hands.

"I'm going to prove it to you, prove to you that you can trust me again and that it's alright to love me, that I won't hurt you, I'm going to be a good father to Thomas, and that we can be a family and rely on each other. I still love you very much Natalie and nothings been able to change how I feel about you in years and nothing ever will" John said as he watched her glassy eye's leak a few tears, John took his thumbs and wiped them away and let his hand linger on her cheek. Natalie was about to protest but she couldn't, not yet anyways, his touch made her feel so good, it brought all of her love for him to the surface, then she heard the door bell ring and she was brought out of her thoughts. She moved quickly out of his reach as she walked to the front door to open it. She opened it and in walked Hugh with Thomas' stuff. John was standing behind them as they talked in the foyer.

"Are you alright? You don't look so good" Hugh asked her as he put the stuff down.

"I'm fine, Thomas just didn't feel so good last night, and he had us up most of the night"

"Us" Hugh questioned

"Yeah, us, his mother and father" John told Hugh as he walked into the foyer to retrieve the stuff Hugh put down on the floor.

"I see" Hugh said as he took Natalie aside to talk privately with her

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked her

"Yeah, I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me" Natalie told him as she gave him a small smile, a smile John watched from the other room. Hugh took his hand and touched Natalie's cheek slightly.

"I can't help it that's what friends do," Hugh said as he let him hand fall from her cheek as she moved slightly. Natalie thanked Hugh for bringing the stuff and then she walked him to the door.

"Are we still on for my mom's and your Uncle's wedding this weekend?" Hugh asked before he walked out of the door. At this point John walked closer as he heard his question.

"Of course we are" Natalie told Hugh and John watched as Hugh kissed her cheek goodbye. Jealousy started to build up inside of him again; he clenched his fists and got red in the face till he saw Natalie turn around.

"John, you probably should be going now, I need to get to the shelter, today's a work day for me," Natalie told him

"Who watches Thomas when you're at the shelter?" John asked

"No one, he comes with me," Natalie told him as she walked past him and into the living room to go thru Thomas stuff.

"What!" John yelled a little louder than he intended to.

"Excuse me?" Natalie questioned

" I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell I was just surprise you take him there with you"

"Why not, why wouldn't I, there's nothing wrong with the place, it's safe and there are other children and even some babies there too."

"Would it be alright with you if maybe I watched him today, I mean so I can get to know him and learn how to take care of him on my own." John asked as he saw Natalie think long and hard about it. She seemed reluctant but told him yes but only if he didn't take him out of the house for his first time watching him. John smiled after he heard her say yes and then Natalie excused herself and went up to get dressed to go.

Natalie left John alone with Thomas in the carriage house, she told him she'd be home around four and she kissed Thomas goodbye, she was feeling a little nervous about leaving them but she knew she was going to have to sometime.

John spent the day fawning all over his son, he took care of him all day, Natalie left him a note with his schedule on it and it wasn't as difficult as he had thought it would be. John thought a lot about things while Thomas was taking his afternoon nap, he thought about Natalie, and as he did he took the engagement ring he had bought her the day he left Llanview out of his pocket, he always held it with him, he never went any where without it, even undercover he had in hidden in his pocket, he thought about what to do and it came to him, he called Michael and asked him to do him a favor, he decided that although she said she couldn't go thru things with him that maybe if he asked her tonight, maybe, just maybe she might say yes, she might stop being so stubborn and say yes.

Natalie arrived home a little passed four. She yelled that she was home when she entered the house and she heard John yell that they were in the kitchen. She walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see the table set. Thomas was sitting in his infant seat on the table.

"What's all this?" Natalie asked as she approached John at the sink

"I just figured you wouldn't feel like cooking after a hard day at work," John told her

"So, you cooked me dinner?" Natalie asked shocked

"I wouldn't say cooked," John said as he placed her plate of food on the table by her seat.

"Burgers and Fries Huh?" she said as she laughed a little, he motioned for her to sit and she did, he also did.

"Now before you get mad Michael picked it up for us" John told her and she gave him a small smile, she leaned into Thomas in his seat on the table.

"Mommy, wasn't going to be mad, now was she Thomas" Natalie said as she looked up from Thomas and into his blue eye's. She again smiled at him, John smiled back and thought maybe it was a good time; she seemed to be in a good mood, things were going well. He decided to wait till after she finished her burger. John and Nat talked and joked the whole time during dinner, as if no time had passed for them, as if nothing had happened, nothing except Thomas. Natalie was about to clean up the dishes when John told her not to, to sit down for a few minutes.

"The dishes can wait, Thomas has something for you" he told her and she got a weird look on her face.

"He does?" she said with a smirk

"Yeah, he wanted me to give this to you, he says it's very important to him" John told her as he handed her a small black velvet box. Natalie took a look at the box and she froze for a minute. What could it be she wondered and why would he be saying it was from Thomas. Natalie opened it and she was speechless, it was by far the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. Then she turned to John.

"Natalie, lets put everything but our Love and Thomas away in the past, Marry me" John told her and he never saw it coming, the slap across his face. Natalie slapped him and put the ring on the table.

"You're some piece of work Mcbain. Some fucking piece of work" Natalie said as she took Thomas from his seat and carried him into the living room, and up the stairs. Natalie stayed upstairs with Thomas rocking him in the rocker. She had tears in her eyes. Now he asks her, now, now that they have a son, was he only going to ask her to make a family for Thomas? Was he crazy? She should marry him now, now after he left and only came back because he thought something was wrong. She looked up when she felt his presence; she had tears in her eyes. John walked over to her in the rocker and he kneeled down in front of her.

"I don't understand what I did wrong, Natalie tell me what I can do to make it better, so we can be together again" John asked her