Hey people! I finally got this story on after weeks of just typing it at home and never submitting it. I guess that would only make sense to Kaeryu. I thank you all for reviewing my first story (even though it's only 3 people so far) and I hope I can update soon enough for you all to not lose hope. Anyway, here's chapter 4! I don't own anything except...nope, nothing.

Chapter Four - People With Issues

Peach was in the process of waking everybody up at 7:30 and nobody in the mansion seemed to like it. But really, who would?

Peach: Why won't you lazy people wake up?

Bowser: Because!

Zelda: Peach, I strongly feel that something is wrong with you, do you need to go to the doctor?

Peach: ...Do I look like I do!

Mario: Is that a trick question?

Peach: Mario! Go away!

Mario: But-

Peach: MARIO!

Mario: (runs away)

Luigi: ...And you married her why?

Mario: ...

Marth: Peach, this is probably my fault.

Peach: Well DUH it is!

Marth: ...Do you even know what's wrong with you?

Fox: I know who can tell her.

all: DR. MARIO!

-In the doctor's office- Peach was escorted by Marth and Zelda

Peach: I'm not crazy!

Marth: Calm down, Peach...

Dr. Mario: What seems to be the problem here?

Zelda: You're the doctor!

Dr. Mario: Well I'm not PSYCHIC!

Marth: Peach here is showing sudden signs of anger, rebellion, and cruelty.

Dr. Mario: Such as...?

Marth: ...Didn't you hear her up there!

Dr. Mario: I think so.

Zelda: ...You think? Shit, Marth. We need a better doctor!

Peach: I'm still not crazy! You all just sleep in too late!

Marth: Whatever!

Dr. Mario: I think I know the problem!

Roy: What?

Marth: ...When did you get here?

Dr. Mario: She's got...the Lord of the Rings disease!

Zelda: ...What the (beep) is that?

Marth: Did you make that up?

Dr. Mario: It's where someone is so hungry for power that they get out of control and use their authority against others in cruel ways!

Marth: ...Did you make that up?

Dr. Mario: No!

Roy: So how do we cure it? Do you have, like, an antibody for it or something?

Marth: Uh, you're thinking antibiotic.

Roy: Well whatever!

Dr. Mario: The only way to cure it...is to kill her.

Zelda: ...

Marth: ...

Roy: ...

Dr. Mario: ...Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! You guys totally fell for it! Hahahahaha!

Marth: ...What was that about a better doctor, Zelda?

Zelda: Let's go.

Peach: I don't need a doctor! You're the crazy ones! I am your lord! Bow down!

-In Mewtwo's office...er...room- Peach was escorted by Marth, Zelda, and Roy this time. Dr. Mario was knocked out.

Mewtwo: Go away foolish humans.

Zelda: But Mewtwo. We just need-

Mewtwo: GO AWAAAAAAAAAYY!

Zelda, Roy, Peach, and Marth: (turning around and leaving)

-In the main room like thing...the foyer-

Peach: Wow, he's mean.

Roy: Of course he's mean! He's...Mewtwo.

Link: Hey guys, what's the matter with Peach?

Peach: It's Peach!

Link: ...Well that's what I sa-

Peach: No, you said Peach!

Link: ...Seriously you guys, what's wrong with her?

Zelda: "Lord of the Rings disease".

Link: Ha! Did the doctor make that one up?

Marth: See?

Roy: He didn't give us a cure though, except to kill her, which is stupid.

Zelda: And Mewtwo didn't help.

Link: Hmmm, maybe the wizard Ganondorf has some kind of potion we can give her.

-In Ganondorf's room-

Link: Ah! My eyes! (running around in circles)

Zelda: Man, this room...has such an evil arua...

Roy: Yeah really. Look what it did to Link.

Zelda: No, that's just because he's an idiot.

Roy: ...oh.

Marth: Ganondorf! Wake up!

Ganondorf: What do you losers want? And what's wrong with Link?

Zelda: What's right with Link?

Link: (stops running) I heard that. (continues running)

Peach: Let go of me, vermin! (bites Roy's hand)

Roy: ...OW!

Zelda: (grabs Peach's arm once Roy let go) Ganon, we need a potion to clear Peach of "Lord of the Rings disease".

Ganondorf: ...That's nice...

Zelda: ...Can you give us one?

Ganondorf: Sure, let me look. And are you sure that disease is real?

Roy: (bandaging what's left of his hand) Sounds convincing enough.

Ganondorf: Uhhhh (looking through shelves of potions)

Peach: Don't make me bite you too Zelda!

Zelda: I'm not letting go, this is for your own good.

Ganondorf: Try this.

Marth: What is it?

Ganondorf: I don't know, that's why I'm saying try it.

Marth: ...It's just Peach, it's ok if we lose her.

Roy: Then why are we trying to save her?

Marth: ...Good question.

Zelda: Because she's our friend! You guys...

Ganondorf: It's a potion that I made, and it's basically like a sedagive.

Marth: ...

Ganondorf: ...I mean sedative.

Zelda: As long as she's calm, it'll probably be good enough.

Roy: Thanks dude.

Ganondorf: No problem. (going back to sleep)

-Back at the foyer: Link, Peach, Marth, Zelda, and Roy...possibly someone else...?

Peach: Gaarrrr!

Zelda: Peach, drink this sedagive and-

Marth: SEDATIVE!

Zelda: Sedative! And you'll be feeling a lot better.

Peach: Why don't you make me, you lazy sleeping-in slackers!

Roy: Ok we can do that! (forces Peach to drink the sedative ((i got it right)))

Peach: (out like a light)

Zelda: Problem solved. And it's only 8:13.

Marth: ...Do you guys feel that?

Link: What?

Marth: Obviously not.

Zelda: ...Hey guys, do you ever get that feeling like someone's watching you?

Marth: ...

Roy: Yeah, like right now!

all: (looking frantically around the empty quiet foyer)

Link: Over there! (pointing at dark corner near the front door)

Zelda: Who's there!

3 figures emerged from the shadow...one shaped like a big glove (hmmm) one shaped like an animal with a really big round nose and and long tongue (hmmmm) and one shaped like an eskimo (hmmmmm!)

Marth: What do you want with us?

Big Nose: Nothing, it's just us!

Glove: Yeah, and what was that whole deal about the resteraunt?

Eskimo: What's wrong with Peach?

Roy: Oh it's them. Hi Popo, Master Hand, and Yoshi! (that was for you paperbag. yoshi's back)

Zelda, Link, and Marth: (sigh of relief)

Yoshi: Hey guys, I smell like shit so I'm gonna hit the showers. (hitting the showers)

Zelda: Thank the goddesses.

Popo: I'm gonna go to the doctor and get my wounds treated.

Marth: Good luck with that...

MH: ...What's wrong with Peach!

Link: Long story.

MH: I'm listening...

Link: ...I mean long story.

MH: Ok, ok. What's for breakfast?

Zelda: Well, since Peach can't cook while she's unconcious, and Mr. Game and Watch is on a trip, I guess it's up to Marth.

Marth: Why me!

Zelda: I thought you liked cooking!

Marth: Hell no!

Link: Ok, is anyone even hungry?

Mario: (heard from upstairs) Hey! We're starving up here! Get us some food!

Link: Ok, nevermind.

Fox: (entering the foyer) I was just in the kitchen and we're all out of food.

MH: That's impossible, I just went. We can't be totally out!

Falco: (following Fox) Well, ironically enough, we are. Totally out.

MH: ...What the (beep) is wrong with you people? Eat in moderation!

Zelda: I haven't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch.

Link: Same here.

Roy: Yeah...why are you even here, Master Hand?

Marth: I thought you were poisoned and died!

MH: ...Have I been gone that long?

Link: Nevermind, but I think we need to go grocery shopping.

Zelda: Good idea, Link.

Link: Well I'm glad you think so, ZEL-DUH!

Zelda: You tryna start something?

MH: Guys, chill out.

Falco: I don't mind going grocery shopping.

Fox: Me neither, but it's gonna take an army of us to fill the whole kitchen again...

Roy: Well, we have one kitchen on each floor except one, which is two kitchens since we have three floors in the mansion.

Marth: ...Why didn't you just say "we have two kitchens"?

MH: Ok, so who's going? I'm not, I just got back.

Fox: I'll go.

Falco: I will.

Zelda: I guess I will too.

Link: Well, if she's going so am I.

Marth: Well it they're going so am I.

Roy: Well if he's going so am I.

MH: ...That's six people. We need more than that!

Samus: (waking up and coming downstairs, still in the clothes she wore yesterday) Hey guys, what's for breakfast?

MH: ...Perfect. That's seven, we'll see you guys later!

Samus: Huh?

Fox: I'll drive.

Falco: Are you kidding me? You drive like a frickin' maniac on fire!

Fox: And you drive better?

Falco: Well yeah!

Roy: Whatever, I'll drive!

Marth: Are you kidding? You drive like an old lady!

Link: Why don't I just drive?

Zelda: Because you drive fast and don't pay any attention to the traffic! I can drive though-

Link: No you can't! You drive like we're gonna blow up with every corner we take!

Samus: Why can't I drive?

Falco: Uh, because I wanted to first.

Marth: Well, you guys probably don't know the way anyhow because you never go grocery shopping.

Samus: ...True.

Falco: And you do?

Marth: Yeah, who else does it around here? Besides Peach, it's not like the food comes out of thin air!

Falco: Well, rock paper scissors will decide this!

Zelda: Oh boy...

Marth: Bring it. Rock...

Falco: Paper...

both: SCISSORS!

Marth: (paper)

Falco: ...(scissors)

Marth: Oh my god! You cheated!

Falco: Did not! You just have slow eyesight!

Marth: Did to you stupid pigeon!

Falco: Did not you blue-haired faggot!

Marth: You have blue hair too!

Falco: It isn't hair, they're feathers.

Marth: Well it's still just as blue as mine!

Zelda: GUYS! I JUST WANTED TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING!

Link: Really!

Falco: I'm still driving.

Marth: Ugh, fine. Stubborn little shi-

Falco: Ha! I always win! especially against sissies like y-

Roy: Ok well we'd better get going now huh before everyone else wakes up yep that's what it looks like to me!

Samus: Uh, ok!

-In the vehicle

Roy: Shotgun!

Fox: Dammit!

Samus: Aw, you just wanted to sit next to Falco didn't you?

Fox: ...Noooooooo!

Samus: HA!

Zelda: Whatever, I don't think we're gonna have enough room unless some of us get in the trunk.

Link: Yeah, but after we go shopping the groceries will take up half the car.

Marth: Grr, where's our bus when we need it.

Roy: Those stupid brats took it for their trip...

Falco: Ok, I'm driving-

Marth: We covered that already!

Falco: I wasn't finished! I was saying that I'm driving, Roy's in the passenger seat, 3 of you can have the backseat, and 2 of you can have the trunk. We can tie the groceries that don't fit in the car to the top! Genius, right?

Fox: ...Falco, the groceries are just gonna fall off.

Falco: Will not! I'll buy a load of bungee cords. And if they fall off, we just go back and get them!

Fox: Uh, ok. Whatever.

Samus: That's my line! And I want the back seat right, behind Roy.

Roy: Why, so you can annoy me?

Samus: No!

Marth: I guess I'll sit in the middle so Fox can sit behind Falco.

Fox: Oh my god shut up, it's not like that!

Zelda: ...Ok, I guess Link and I are in the trunk. Boy, that sucks.

Link: No it doesn't! I love the trunk!

Zelda: ...You need medication.

Roy: Great so now we have to listen to you guys the whole way.

Link: Listen to us what?

Zelda: Oh my god Roy, keep that in your own brain.

Link: What? I'm confused!

Roy: Hehehehe!

Zelda: And I'm sure you were thinking of Marth when you said that too!

Marth: Hey, leave me out of this!

Roy: Zelda, seriously!

Falco: And we're off!

Drive off to the grocery store

Marth: Oh, you sure you don't need directions?

I apologize for that chapter, it was long, but not very funny. It was more just like arguing and stupid crap. And a lot of arguing. Now, back to the basic closure. Will Falco make it to the grocery store without help? Will he drive safely? What's are Link and Zelda gonna do in the trunk? And what's Samus gonna do to Roy? And Fox to Falco? And Roy to Marth? Will anything happen at all? Will they find the desired groceries, and the bungee cords in a grocery store? Will it stay on the top? Oh my god, that's a lot of questions! And of course, find out next time in

chapter 5