ABC Owns Them

Chapter 17

John jumped out of bed when he saw her clothes gone. He put his clothes on and he started to walk out of the room. He couldn't believe that she would just leave like that, leave after they made love and not say a word to him, he shook his head thinking maybe she thought it was a mistake, but how could she? How could she think them making love last night was a mistake, it was incredible, amazing, by far what he had felt last night was something he had never felt before, as if it was new, maybe not brand new, but a new turning point to them. He still wasn't sure if he should go to the house to find her and talk things out, find out why she left but he did, he needed to. As hurt as he was feeling right now, he knew he had no right, no right to be this hurt. John knocked lightly on the door of the cottage, it was still early morning and he knew Thomas would still be asleep. No one answered and he turned to leave when he saw Eve come to the door.

"Johnny"

"Sorry mom, I didn't mean to wake you. Is Natalie here?"

"John, she's not here, I thought maybe she was with you"

"She was but she left, I...I.. Are you sure she isn't home" John asked as he went in the house with Eve.

"I'll go look for her upstairs" Eve went upstairs to look when she came back down she saw John looking at a note on the table in the foyer.

"She was here, she went for a run," John told Eve and then he handed her the note Natalie left.

"Is Thomas okay, was he okay for you last night?"

"Good I'm glad, I've gotta go."

"Johnny, is everything alright, I mean.. it isn't any worse is it?"

"I don't know mom, I just don't have a clue."

Natalie ran thru the park, she had been running for almost an hour now and she just didn't want to stop, she was a bit out of shape since her pregnancy with Thomas and she decided to take a rest by the statue to try and get up enough energy to head back home. She sat on a bench she sat so many times before and thought about what she did last night, what she and John did last night. They made love, it was incredible, it was sweet, and tender and even electrifying all wrapped up in one. She smiled a sad smile as she thought about it, she shouldn't have let it happen, she was at a weak point and they were at the wedding, it was almost like she couldn't deny herself her feelings for him last night and she just went with them, she shouldn't have done it she told herself for she knew how much harder things would be now on them, on all three of them, Natalie would have to keep her distance more now to make sure it didn't happen again. Her heart just couldn't go down that road with John Mcbain again. She looked away from the statue for a minute and she saw him standing near her silently. She looked at him and then away as he approached her.

"Why can't you look at me?" John asked her as he saw her sadden look.

"I..I can look at you," she said looking at him with teary eyes.

"I came to find you to find out why you left last night without telling me and I guess by the look on your face I already know the answer."

"You thought it was a mistake, you didn't mean for it to happen and now you regret it don't you?"

"John... I.. I"

"Don't say it Natalie, just don't say it" John said as he walked away. Natalie put her face in her hands and stayed like that for a few minutes. She tried to gather herself, regain her strength and her pride. She questioned herself, was she making a mistake by pushing him away, by not being able to trust him again, by not even giving him the chance to earn it back. She started to allow the tears that were building up in her eye's to flow. She sat on the bench still continuing to cry when she figured she should go back home, home she thought and she let out a few more tears, the carriage house wasn't home, their room at the hotel, that was home, he was her home, she only felt at home with him. Damn it Mcbain! She cursed him, they were supposed to grow old together and have more children. She shook her head not knowing how to get over this, the trust issue with him, she wanted to, she knew she wanted to but she just didn't know how to. She started walking back to the carriage house; she was to emotionally distraught to run any more.

"Natalie are you alright?" Eve asked Natalie as she came into the house

"I'm fine, how is Thomas?"

"He's fine, he's up in his room in his crib watching his mobile"

"Thanks, I need to see him right now, excuse me"

"Natalie did John find you? He was here looking for you"

"Yes, he found me thank you" Natalie told her as she walked up the stairs to Thomas' room, she took him out of the crib and started to rock him in the rocking chair. She hadn't even realized she had the baby monitor on, and Eve could hear everything she told Thomas over it. Eve was listening to Natalie cry and rock Thomas when the doorbell rang, she answered it and it was John.

"Hey mom" John said in a somber tone

"Johnny what's going on?"

"Is Natalie around?"

"She's upstairs with Thomas, but John I don't think now is such a great time to go up and see them, she's...well she's.. pretty messed up right now"

"Well I'm pretty freakin messed up myself right now" John told her as he started to go up the stairs, he walked by Thomas' door and heard her crying, he stated back so she couldn't see him and he listened to her words to their son.

"What the hell is wrong with me? I just keep screwing up, making mistake after mistake." Natalie told Thomas, John heard her words and he knew she was talking about their lovemaking, he walked away and back down the stairs, he quickly said goodbye to his mom and he left the carriage house.