A Brothers Guide to Cutting Down the Flirting Tendencies of Ones Siblings
Sam could tell that Dean was pissed from his strained smile. It was one face his brother made that Sam could never forget; the 'Sammy, I'm going to kill you' look.
"Sammy," Dean said, expression still pleasant as they passed a happy couple, arm in arm and smiling blissfully, "I'm going to kill you."
"Come on Dean," Sam said cheerfully, "You can't always have all the fun."
"Dude, this is not fun!" Dean hissed, then quickly stretched his face back into that semi-pained smile as they passed yet another couple who smiled sincerely at them, "This is so not fun." he finished quietly as they finally passed out of the busy reception area and into an empty hall.
"What happened to the plan, Sammy" Dean demanded once he was sure there were no witnesses.
"It changed," Sam's smile was indulgent, "You can't go to a fertility clinic without the woman you're going to knock up. It just wouldn't be believable."
"Then why didn't we just break in later and deal with the demon after-hours?"
"You know as well as I do that we can't let the good doctor know what we're up to. He could split town and keep trying to impregnate women with his demon seed somewhere else and we'd never know it."
Dean grumbled a bit, picking at the 'Hi my name is Vincent!' sticker pasted roughly to his jacket, "Why do I need this sticker again?" he said irritably.
"For support," Sam told him patiently, "Haven't you seen all those encouraging looks you've been getting?"
"Yea… I noticed," Dean muttered darkly, looking around suspiciously for any sign of a 'sympathetic' couple or nurse. On confirming there was no one else around, he relaxed.
"So what's the plan again?" he asked seriously, all visible anger gone for a moment in the face of the possibility of action.
"Your appointment with the Demon Doctor is in 15 minutes. We go in, you distract him with questions about your ... issue, and I get him from behind."
Dean sighed, "I thought he was strictly a fertility dude, why's he making time for my… problem?"
"Apparently, he feeds of the frustrations of men in your situation."
"Great," Dean groused, then he asked the question that had been threatening ever since Sam made the appointment with the receptionist, "Just one last thing then: why the hell am I the impotent one?"
And here Sam's grin threatened to split his face in two, "Maybe that will teach you not to flirt when we're on the job."
A.N. – Yea, total crack fic. No idea why I wrote it …