Here we go again. Sorry about the slow update, but I'm not getting many reviews so not a whole lot of people are even enjoying this story, much less waiting for an update. Maybe Kaeryu...take that back. Nobody. Plus school. So here I go, for my own entertainment. Chapter seven. Don't behold if you don't want to...
Chapter 7 - Punishment Part 1
Last time, our heroes (sounds like the beginning of an episode of "Pokémon"...) went grocery shopping for their starving friends. So while they all celebrate and eat to their delight, Ness and the others are on their way back from the trip. We'll just get to them later though. For now, THE FEAST!
Master Hand: Hey, it's the bill...$647,865.54!
Samus: Uhhh...
Link: Wow, that didn't take long to get in.
Peach: That's a lot of money!
Master Hand: ... ... ... ... ...
Samus: ... ... You said they were starving!
Master Hand: I didn't say it was a world-wide FAMINE!
Samus: (cowering)
Master Hand: This is an outrage!
Marth: (still unloading groceries) Well, at least we won't have to go shopping for a while!
Master Hand: Oh, I don't think aaany of you will be shopping ever again. And no, the milk expires.
Marth: Damn...
Falco: Look, we're sorry! We were in a hurry and weren't paying attention to the price!
Roy: We'll make it up to you! And besides, their sprinklers were possessed!
all: ... ... ... ... ...
Roy: ... ... Well they were!
MH: (ahem) The matter of the fact is that this...$647,865.54... is way over our budget.
Samus: (To Fox) You'd think with all these people there wouldn't be a budget...
Fox: Yeah. Listen, Master Hand, we can worry about the money later. For now, can we just eat?
MH: ... ... ...Ok, sure.
all: (eating happily)
Soon, the meal was finished.
Mario: Wow! That was good!
MH: Yeah, now about that money-
Fox: Oh look! The mail's here! Lemme go get that for ya...
Zelda: I have to do the dishes, I mean look at this place! It's a mess! I'll get right on that...
Samus: Yeah, I'm gonna help her...
Falco: I have to help Captain Falcon with that project he started...
Link: I have to help Falco help "the" Captain Falcon with that...ha ha...
Marth: ... ...
Roy: ... ... ...We're screwed aren't we?
Marth: Oh yeah.
MH: (in a lecturely tone) This is too much money for me to pay off myself. You know that, right?
Roy: Well, I do now.
Marth: Stop being smart!
Roy: What?
MH: Silence! From this day on, you and all those other little pansies who just ran off, will be doing chores around here. I'm taking the money out of your pockets! Understood?
Roy: No, not the pockets!
Marth: Shut up! Yes, Master Hand.
MH: Good! Now, I need to go watch my soaps...
Marth: ... ... ...
Roy: ... ... ...
Peach: ... ... Ha! You got served!
Marth: Oh, bite me!
Peach: Hahaha I'd like to see you guys do chores for once!
Roy: Do shut up!
Peach: Ha! Ha ha! I bet you guys haven't done a chore in your life, right?
Marth: No!
Peach: You guys are so used to being treated royally you don't know the real world!
Roy: You're one to talk!
Peach: Ha! Ho ho! This is hilarious! You, doing chores! Ha! Never thought I'd see it! (laughing her head off)
Marth: ... ...Let's-
Peach: Hahahahahaha!
Marth: Oh just shut up!
Peach: Bwahahahehehehaha!
Roy: God, Marth! What's wrong with her?
Peach: Blehehehehehe! Bwahahackahahakchahak!
Zelda: (enters room) What the hell is going on? Oh, Peach!
Marth: Hey remember when we had to give Peach a sedagive-
Roy: Sedative.
Marth: Sedative to stop her "Lord of the Rings" disease?
Zelda: Yeah, I remember.
Marth: ... ... ... ... ... ...well?
Zelda: Oh! Let's go get Ganondorf!
(In the living room)
Ganondorf: Hahaha! Bueno! Oh hahahahaha!
Zelda: Hey, Ganondorf? Can we have another sedative?
Ganondorf: Oh, uh-huh sure. Here you go.
Roy: That was fast. Think he always carries one around, just in case?
Marth: Roy, shut up.
(Back in the kitchen)
Peach: Hahahahackhackcoughcoughhahahahaa!
Zelda: For your own good, Peach! (forcing Peach to drink the sedative)
Peach: (out like a light)
(The next day...)
Samus: Hmmm, I wonder when those little brats are coming back from their trip.
Zelda: Uh, never?
Samus: Eh, I don't know. Hope so. Hey I wonder what's for breakfast.
(downstairs, the smell of fresh baked pie and pancakes fills the room and an aroma of bacon and eggs accompanies it)
Zelda: Wow, something smells great!
In the room, everyone was seated around their enormous table, only it seemed to have a few less chairs than usual. But maybe that's because of the trip the young ones took.
Samus: (sitting down in chair) Oh, it looks like the brat- I mean, the little people are back!
Ness: (glaring at Samus)
Kirby: (enters room) Hey, bitch. Outta my chair.
Samus: Huh? You talking to me?
Kirby: That's right I am! That's my chair!
Samus: I don't see your name on it anywhere!
Kirby: Get up!
Samus: (stands up to see Kirby's name engraved on the seat of the chair) Heh heh, sorry little dude.
Kirby: You better be. Hurry up with my food!
Marth: I'm cooking as fast as I can, Kirby! You're distracting me! (stove goes up in flames) OMG!
Zelda: Why are you cooking, Marth?
Marth: (putting out the fire) Because Master Hand told me to. And you'd better get on it too.
Zelda: Ack! I'm cooking?
MH: Turn over those eggs, Zelda, or you're dead.
Zelda: (flipping over black eggs) Heh heh, I'm doomed...
Roy: (taking pie out of oven, burning hand) Ouch! Son of a- (sets the pie on fire) Heh heh, how do you like tha-
Marth: Roy!
Roy: What? He burned me! ... Oh, was that your pie?
Marth: Roy! You are such a dumbass!
Roy: (crying)
MH: Cook you fools!
Link: (entering the room) Wow, that's a cool effect, with the fire!
Bowser: No it's not! That's my breakfast!
Roy: (crying) I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
MH: Oh shut up!
Luigi: I'm uh...gettin kinda hungry over here...yeah...
Zelda: Link, put on an apron and help with with these eggs!
Link: Aw, can't you get someone else to do it?
MH: (evil glare of death)
Link: Oh, yeah. I forgot. (helping with the eggs...which aren't really eggs anymore) Sheesh, Zelda. Can't you cook?
Zelda: I'm trying! Oh no! The bacon!
Falco: (enters room) Damn, guess I'll get started on the drinks.
Fox: (enters room) ...What's with the pie?
Roy: I SAID I WAS SORRY YOU BITCHES NOW SHUT UP IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
Fox: ...Hey! Bacon! (cooks the bacon)
Samus: Ok, Kirby. Here's your pancakes! (serving blackened frisbee-looking pancakes)
Kirby: I ain't eatin' these! (throws plate at Samus) Make 'em again, they're burnt!
Samus: Why you bloody little-
MH: MAKE THEM...again.
Samus: Sir yes sir!
MH: And don't use that tone with me!
Samus: Ok!
Pikachu: So...hungry...
Mario: Deja vu... ... ...
MH: This is ridiculous! Hurry up! We're starving over here again!
Zelda: Well Peach is the only decent cook here-
Marth: (ahem)
Zelda: Ok, Peach and Marth. I haven't cooked anything ever since I became royal, which was when I was born! (crying)
Link: Oh suck it up, we don't need your sob story! And your eggs are burning...still...
Zelda: Let's see you do better! (picks up firey egg with bare hands and pitches at Link)
Link: (ducks the egg)
Samus: (gets hit in face with flaming saucer ((egg))) Ah! Zelda, you stupid-
Zelda: Oh my god, Samus! I meant to hit Link!
Ganondorf: Stop fighting and gimme my damn eggs!
Roy: Samus! You're burning! I'll put it out for you! (accidently shoots fire at Samus) Aah! I'm too stupid for this!
Samus: OMG SOMEBODY HELP ME I'M ON FIRE GET OFF YOUR ASSES YOU LAZY- (runs out of the room screaming)
Falco: ... ... ...Here's your drinks everybody, probably the only thing you'll be getting not burnt.
Fox: Hey, I'm doing pretty good with this bacon over here. (serving perfectly not burnt but still crispy bacon)
People at table: (devouring)
Popo: This is good! Thanks for not burning it, Roy!
Roy: Oh, you're welcome! Wait, something isn't burnt?
Yoshi: No! Everything is burnt. It's perfectly fine...
Roy: Ok, whew. That's a relief. Thought I was gonna have to burn something else...
Pichu, Mr. Game, Mewtwo: (leave table, but no one knows why because no one can understand them)
Captain Falcon: Guess I'll go find Samus. (leaves table)
MH: I'm still hungry! And those pancakes are ON FIRE!
Marth: (attending the pancakes)
Roy: (still staring at the pie he ruined) ... ...You want me to make you a new one, Marth?
Marth: (sigh) No, but at least do something useful, like do the dishes or something.
Ganondorf: What dishes? We haven't had anything to eat yet!
Bowser: I'm hungry! Hurry up or I'll eat you!
Fox: Lemme take care of the eggs, you guys.
Falco: Yeah, and I'll work on another pie. You guys just suck too much.
Zelda: Ok, thank you.
Link: ... ...I don't suck, I was doing good! It's just Zelda, she's horrible!
Zelda: (slaps Link) That's no way to talk to a princess!
Link: Hey, speaking of princesses...
Peach: Blargh! (enters the room looking like absolute shit)
Ness: AH! MONSTER!
Ganondorf: Oh, and the sedative has massively dramatic after-effects.
Mario: I'll take care of this. (takes Peach upstairs where you can hear hammering and duct tape stretching)
Roy: Hm, wonder why he keeps that in his bedroom...
Marth: Roy! Get your mind outta the gutter!
Roy: Oh, ok! Sorry. But seriously.
Fox: (serving eggs, de-blackened)
Yoshi: Finally! (eating) These are great!
Luigi: Hooray for great food! Or, just food!
all at table: (eating happily)
Marth: (serving pancakes, also de-blackened) Oh, and we forgot syrup.
MH: What? How can you spend $647,865.54 and forget syrup! I'd have thought you'd bought out the whole store!
Link: I remembered butter though!
MH: Oh, that's good.
Falco: Roy, that pie is in the oven. Stay away from it!
Roy: Alright!
Pikachu: No, want pie now.
Yoshi: Mmmm, pie.
Falco: 10 minutes, I promise.
(10 minutes later)
Roy: Oh! The pie's ready!
Falco: NO! (takes pie out before Roy could reach it)
Roy: (sulks)
Marth: (rolls eyes) Well, Master Hand, I think we're done.
Yoshi: Mmmmmm...
Ness: Pie.
After the pie was taken care of and the whole meal (breakfast) finished, Master Hand called Fox and Falco back to his room.
MH: Well, you two have proved worthy, so I will release you from your debt completely.
Fox: Really?
Falco: Sweet.
MH: So, you don't have to worry about debt anymore. Congratulations.
Fox: Awesome.
(Back in the living room)
Zelda: Ew, what are you watching?
Kirby: Uh, I don't know, it just came on.
Link: What are those? (pointing out the window)
Spinning things in the sky decend into the town about 5 miles away.
Roy: Oh my god! It's the possessed sprinklers from Lazee-Shopp!
Marth: No, they're helicopters.
Roy: ...Oh my god! Helicopters! What do you think they're in our town for?
Samus: Shall we go check it out?
Kirby: Be my guest. I ain't goin' nowhere near those things.
Link, Zelda, Samus, Marth, Roy, Fox, Falco, Ness, and Master Hand load into the car.
Link: (To Ness) Where'd you come from?
Ness: Your mom! ... ... ..Wait, not like that, I meant-
Link: You freak!
MH: Focus! Who's driving?
Marth: Uh, not Falco.
Zelda: Or Samus.
Roy: I'll drive!
Marth: Or Roy.
Roy: Oh you are mean!
Link: I'll drive.
They drive into town where they see the large hotel that everyone stays at to see the smashers. Helicopters with searchlights circle the building and the police are also everywhere around it. A small figure is on top of the building, carrying a large sack.
Roy: Hey, isn't it a little early for Santa?
Ness: No, a small figure.
Roy: Oh, right.
Cop #1: Come off the building with your hands up and surrender! Wait, how would that work...?
Cop #2: Surrender yourself, beast!
Figure: No!
MH: What's going on here?
Cop #2: That guy stole all the statues in the building!
Roy: So?
Cop #1: They're made of gold!
Roy: So?
Cop #2: ... ...Real gold!
Ness: Uh, so?
Cop #1: ... ...And diamonds and other gems! They cost a fortune!
Link: Well so? We can replace them.
Cop #2: They're one-of-a-kind!
Link: Aw, that won't get you nothin' in poker!
Zelda: Link! How can we help to get them back?
Cop #1: Go after the dude and get 'em back! But it must be before tomorrow at midnight. Otherwise they will disappear! For without the source that supplies the statues, they are weak and will disintergrate!
MH: Ok, Fox, Falco, and Ness! Come back with me! I'll take everyone out for ice cream!
Ness: Awesome!
Zelda: What about us?
MH: You're gonna get those statues back. It's part of your punishment.
Roy: That's so not fair!
MH: Later! (drives off)
Cop #1: You're going to get them back for us? (hugs Marth in tears) HOW CAN WE EVER REPAY YOU?
Roy and Cop #2: (smack Cop #1 on the head) Get off him.
Marth: Alright, we only have a few hours! Let's go already!
They all take off after him.
Marth: (To cops) Uh...why are you following us?
Cop #2: I don't know. We wanna help!
Samus: Alright! We'll take care of introductions later! Now let's movemovemovemovemove-
Link: Ok!
Well, that was lovely. That was for you, Kaeryu! Dedicated reviewer! And I put that pie in there just for you Eternal Smasher. Well, who is the robber? What will our heroes do to stop them? Will they make it before midnight? And what are the statues of? And why does this person want them so badly! Find out in
chapter 8