Alright! Thank you all for reviewing, you are all so kind! Here is chapter 8. My unique sense of humor, come unto me! This chaper will include pie, adventure, violence (though milder than crap), discovery (channel), and all sorts of mayhem! I hope you enjoy the eighth chapter of Life in the Smasher's Mansion. And be glad I'm updating, I could be doing science homework!
Link: You know, why is it called "Life in the Smasher's Mansion" if we aren't in the mansion half the time?
Nakoya: Silence!
Link: I mean really! This thing needs a new title!
Nakoya: I said be quiet you fool. (tries to punch Link)
Link: (ducks) Ha! You missed! And you're the authoress!
Marth: (comes up behind Link and stabs him through the middle with his sword)
Link: (dies)
Nakoya: Hey! He was in the next chapter! I mean this chapter!
Marth: Oh whoops...
Link: (walks in the room) Hey, whoa! What'd you do to my body double?
Nakoya: (relieved) Well, now we don't have a double for Link. Anyone wanna be Link's double?
Link: (sigh) This is all your fault Marth.
Nakoya: Well, the show must go on!
Disclaimer: I don't pwn Super Smash Brothers Melee, Link, Marth, Peach, Samus, and all my other characters. But I do own myself. So ha! And I also own this robber person. So you were wrong Kaeryu! Though good guess...
Warning: Any reproduction of ANY or ALL portions of this story is stricly prohibited. If you are going to print this off or anything it had better say "Written and Created by: Nakoya T. or my real name" otherwise it is PLAIGERISM! And why would you disrespect someone with such a mind as me? If I catch anyone (not that I could) plaigerizing my story I will shut down my story so no more ripping off can occur. Thank you, and sorry. I'm just very territorial and protective of my work.
Chapter dedicated to: PirateGoddess27, my new friend!
Chapter 8 - Punishment Part 2 - Discovery
Last we heard, Master Hand dumped off a few people to go catch the robber. Samus, Link, Marth, Zelda, Cop #1, Cop #2, and Roy are on a mission to catch this psycho who can magically carry about 10 statues on their back and still jump off buildings and land on their feet. They all ran after the theif, but fell behind and were left in the dust. Amazing that seven people cannot catch up to one person CARRYING ABOUT 10 STATUES!
Link: Aw, shut up! Let's see you do better Nakoya!
Uh, I don't think so! Now you shut up and get moving! I'm gonna eat some pie. (I really am right now, chocolate)
Cop #1: You're making me hungry! Aw, where are my doughnuts...?
Zelda: We must hurry! Master Hand is counting on us!
They all ran quite a ways until they found themselves in yet ANOTHER dense forest, and man this one was DENSE!
Roy: 2 + 2!
Forest: Uh...I don't know! 22!
Roy: Wow, you are dense!
Marth: Roy, look! (pointing at "something")
Roy: What is "it"?
Marth: That's what you need to go find out! (pushing Roy toward the "thing")
Roy approached the "thing" cautiously and when he got close enough, he could see "it" was a wounded animal. But it wasn't nearly as wounded as he thought.
Roy: OOWW!
Zelda: (removing little animal from Roy's finger) Aw! It's a cute little baby tiger! Isn't it adorable?
Roy: That...is not CUTE! Look at my fing-
Marth: Yeah, whatever. Aren't we supposed to be chasing a robber?
Cop #2: He's right! We're on a mission here, so leave the tiger and let's move!
Samus: Alright! Hey, look! A giant pyramid!
Link: Whoa, that's cool. Kinda like the mystic ruins in Sonic DX.
Zelda: Uh, aren't you getting a little off topic?
Tiger: (leaps from Zelda's arms and climbs to the entrance of the pyramid)
Cop #1: That thing must be crazy!
Marth: Why?
Cop #1: Because...that's a pyramid!
everyone: . . . . . . . .
Cop #1: Oh nevermind, I'm thinking of something else.
Zelda: Let's follow it! Maybe it can lead us to the robber!
Link: Yeah, right. You've seen way too many movies.
all: (entering the pyramid behind the little tiger, who was suddenly named ikki ikki)
Ikki Ikki: Mew!
Zelda: AWWW! That's so cu-
Marth: Shhh! I hear something!
Roy: No, I think you just like interrupting peo-
Marth: Will you be quiet?
Roy: See what I mean?
all: (listening)
They can hear very soft voices coming from deeper into the pyramid.
Samus: That must be them. Let's be really quiet and sneak up on them.
all: (being quiet and sneaking up on them)
A door is located at the end of the pyramid hallway, but it is locked. (Of cou-)
Marth: We should break it down.
Link: Alright, on three. One, two, five!
Roy: No!
Link: Three!
Marth, Link, Roy: (kick down the door)
Robber: Oh my god!
Samus: Return those statues to us right now, you're under arrest by federal law! Put your hands behind your head!
Robber: . . . . . . . . . .
Robber's buddy: . . . . . HAHAHAHAHA!
Samus: ...Aw, dang! Where's my suit?
Roy: Listen, pal! We're smashers! And we'll kick your a-
Marth: Surrender immediately and your lives will be spared!
Roy: I give up.
Turns out the robber was a female about their age with long black hair about down to her waist. She had indigo eyes and was wearing a black suit that she'd stolen the statues in. The big dude next to her was her boss, and I know this because he was wearing a nametag that said, "Boss". A large (large, large, very big, huge) bag was in the room also, holding the statues.
Robber: We will not surrender without a fight! (takes the stance of a fighter)
Link: BRING IT ON! (draws sword)
Robber's Boss: Autrya! You can handle these fools! (takes the bag and draggs it out of the room. He was dragging it because of its weight, as well as his own.)
Roy: I don't think so! (throws sword at bag, causing all the precious statues to fall out)
Robber's Boss: NOOO NOT THE PRECIOUS STATUES!
Autrya: (martial art fighting Link, who has a sword)
Samus: Wow, she's really good! I bet she could be a smasher like us!
Marth: Samus! Help us!
Zelda: Yeah, Samus! Duh!
Samus and Link take on Autrya while Marth and Roy take on the big boss dude, who is a lame-o fighter. The cops and Zelda watch.
Link: (pinning Autrya to a wall) Why did you steal our statues? You must have had a reason!
Autrya: (hesitating)
Link: ANSWER ME!
Autrya: (breaking out in tears and sobs) I'M JUST YOUR BIGGEST FAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
Link: (de-pinning her) What?
all: (stop fighting) WHAT?
Autrya: Let me explain.
all: . . . . . . . . . . .OK!
Autrya: (clearing throat) I...am the biggest fan of all the smashers in the whole world! I stole the statues of you because I wanted them for myself, because I practically worship you guys! And Roy just happens to be my favorite.
Roy: Ha.
Marth: Shut up.
Link: Go on.
Autrya: That's it.
Link: . . . . . . . . . .
Samus: Then how did you come to be such a great fighter?
Autrya: I fight with such great skill in the martial arts because I have always dreamed of becoming a smasher like you guys. I knew it would never happen, but-
Suddenly, the pyramid begins to shake. Then it ceases.
Autrya: And I live in this rundown old ruin that's about 200 years old. I'm looking for a new home, but (sniff sniff) no one will take me!
Roy: Aww, that's so sad!
Autrya: Now I live here with my boss and my pet. (whistles)
Ikki Ikki: Mew! (jumps into Autrya's arms)
Zelda: That's so sad! Won't you please come live with us? We can teach you how to become a smasher!
Samus: I'm sure everyone at the mansion will love you!
Autrya: You are too kind! I'm going to take my pet with me, is that alright?
Zelda: That's great! You can even keep the statues!
Cop #1: Uuuh. . . . .
Cop #2: Since when?
Zelda: Alright, let's go!
Samus: Yeah! (leaves with Autyra and Zelda)
Cop #1: . . . . .Alright Boss dude, you're free to go.
Boss: (ditches)
Marth: Who agreed that she could move in with us? I mean, we don't have a room for her!
Link: Yeah, and what will Master Hand say?
Roy: Not only that, but we have to make all these changes to make her feel at home! We have to practice with her...
Link: We'll have to talk to her...
Marth: And she'll have to share someone's room!
Roy: Is that all you care about?
Link: Let's go, this place is starting to smell bad.
Back at the mansion
Master Hand: Another smasher? That's wonderful news!
Link: . . . . . .
Master Hand: Why, she can share Marth's room! He has the most space anyway!
Marth: . . . . . .
Master Hand: So, let's all make Autrya feel welcome!
Roy: . . . . . . .
all: Welcome, Autrya!
Autrya: Thanks so much you guys! I love you all, this is a dream come true for me! (goes into Marth's room)
They all went to bed after that (lazy slackers). The next morning, Marth, Roy, and Link were all sparring in the Hyrule Castle stage.
Roy: Still, it makes me mad that she's here. She's gonna soak up all the attention, and she's MY fan!
Marth: Yeah, she probably isn't even that good a fighter. She can become a smasher in her dreams!
Link: True, plus if she's such a fan, then why is she making us do all this crap for her? She should be helping us!
Marth: That too, and- (dodging bomb) why did she have to take my room? I'm not even a girl! She could've taken Zelda's!
Roy and Link: Exactly!
Roy: I hope she doesn't bother us, she'll be a nuisance, and we won't be able to be stupid and random anymore. (gets countered by Marth) Ouch.
Marth: I know what you mean. (gets torched by Roy)
Link: Yeah, and- (gets freezied)
Marth: ...nice one.
Roy: Yeah, he was getting on my nerves.
Someone enters the stage.
Autrya: Hey guys! Mind if I practice with you?
Marth: Um, actually, Link just got freezied, I have to go shopping, and Roy has to...stay here until Link thaws! Bye! (disappears)
Roy: No, Marth! (turns cautiously to Autrya) Hi.
Autrya: You hate me, don't you? I heard you talking about me before I got here! (sobs)
Roy: No! We were talking about...Zelda!
Autrya: Really? Oh my god, I'm so telling her you said that! (disappears)
Roy: Wait, come back you stupid- ARGH!
Link: I didn't know you were a pirate.
Roy: Oh, are you thawed out yet?
Link: Eh, my top half is.
Roy: Ok. So you still can't move. Well, what are we going to do about her? I find her suspicious...
Link: I agree. I wonder how long she's gonna stay here. Hopefully Master Hand is giving her the "stay here until you find somewhere else" lecture.
Roy: Hope so. (chipping at ice) How about we try to kill her?
Link: Hm...tempting...very tempting. But Master Hand would know it was us.
Roy: How? I'll ask Marth. He'll probably want to. Later! (disappears)
Link: No! Come back! Don't leave me here! (looking at ice)
Link: This suuuuuucks! Come back and get me!
Link: (sigh)
Link: (struggling)
Link: (sitting)
Link: ARGH! (struggling more)
Link: (sitting again) Gettin' kinda hungry...
Link: 99 bottles of beer on the wall...
Link: 64 bottles of beer on the wall...
Link: 10 bottles of beer on the wall...
Link: -32 bottles of- SOMEONE COME HELP ME! Doesn't anyone use this stage anymore?
Link: NAAAAVI! EPONA! SOMEBODY!
Link: (sleeping)
The next morning
Marth: (yaaaaaaawn)
Autrya: GOOD MORNING!
Marth: AAH!
Autrya: Don't be startled, it's only me! Hey, can you help me with something?
Marth: Uuuh?
Autrya: Well, I was hoping to ask Roy out but I'm afraid to. Could you do it for me?
Marth: (still half asleep) Oh, uh-huh, sure...
Autrya: Yay! Thank you! You're a doll! (leaves)
Marth: Wha-?
In the kitchen
Master Hand: Good morning, Autrya!
Autrya: Good morning sir!
Roy: suck up.
Autrya: And how are you this fine morning, Roy?
Roy: I'm alright, can't help but think I forgot something though...
Back in Hyrule Castle
Link: Heeeeeeeeeelp! How long does it take this stuff to thaw?
Back in the kitchen
Roy: Probably nothing though.
Samus: How did everyone sleep?
Autrya: I slept so well! That bed of Marth's sure is comfy!
Roy: Whoa! You slept with Marth?
Autrya: Hahahahaha! No silly! I slept in his bed! He slept on the floor!
In Marth's room
Marth: Dang! I knew something wasn't right...(leaves for the kitchen)
In the kitchen
Roy: Well wasn't that nice of him...?
Marth: Hey Roy, where's Link?
Roy: OH NO! (dashes off)
Marth: ...Hm.
Peach: Ah! I feel much better now that that sedative has worn off! I'll try not to freak out anymore.
Samus: Ok, thank you! It helps when you don't spaz.
Peach: Anyone want to practice with me this morning?
Autrya: Oh! I do! I haven't practiced with anyone yet!
Peach: Let's go!
Autrya: Yeah!
Samus: . . . . .
Marth: They're perfect for each other.
Link: MARTH HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT ME?
Marth: Hey, it's Roy's fault too!
Roy: Hehehehe. Golly, I hope we get to be random again sometime soon. I don't liket his new girl at all...
Wow, was that lack-luster or what? Not funny at all! But I had to get through her introduction. Next chapter will be better I promise. So, who is this mysterious new girl? Why is she so annoying? Why does Roy hate her so much? Why did it take so long for that freezie to melt? Will the smasher's ever get to be random again? Is this new girl friend of foe? What ever became of the boss dude? Will the story title ever change? Will Link ever get a new body double? Will I get a lot of reviews? I expect every one of these questions answered! Now get outta here! I mean review! Blahhargahahgbalbh! Not to mention I didn't use any profanity! Must be in a good mood.Oh, and next is
chapter 9