Oh thank you all so much for reviewing! You are too kind! Well, when we left off, Autrya, the new girl, left to go practice with Peach. The others are just slacking as usual. Read and Review please. I'm doing a good job with my updates! Plus the weekend is coming up, and I don't have a whole lot of homework, so...be expecting a few new chapters, I've got some planned out. But for now, on with the show!
Nakoya's Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM, but I own Autrya! Which is a bad thing, she can get pretty annoying...
Chapter dedicated to: Penguin God, for reviewing every one of my chapters in a row. That takes some serious skill...and I'll try to dedicate a chapter to each of my reviewers at least once.
Chapter Nine - Bad Plans and Errands
In the kitchen: Marth, Master Hand, Roy, Samus, Link
Roy: Nope, I don't like this new girl one bit.
Link: Shut up, we get it.
Roy: why is everyone so mean to me...?
Autrya: (re-entering the room) Well, Peach has offered to take me shopping with her, Zelda, and Samus!
Samus: Say wha-?
Autrya: Oh, and Pichu.
Master Hand: 'Kay, see ya. (reading the newspaper with invisible eyes)
Autrya: (to Marth) don't forget!
Marth: Forget what?
Autrya: (quietly) To ask him out. (nodds to Roy) I'm counting on you. (leaves)
Marth: What? (confused...)
Samus: Well, I guess I'd better go shopping. Sure don't remember agreeing to this...
Master Hand: 'Kay, bye.
Samus: . . . . . .Soooo loooon-
Link: LEAVE ALREADY!
Samus: (crying way out the door)
Link: Hm, well I guess we can be "random" again now that Autrya's gone...
Marth: (thinking) Hm, what did Autrya mean by "ask him out"? Did she mean Roy? Why would I ask him out?
Roy: Hey, Marth. You ok?
Marth: (thinking) For some reason, I vaguely remember her telling me something this morning...
Roy: Maaaarth?
Marth: (thinking) But I can't remem- Hey, this is cool. The font gets all italisied when I think...
Link: Earth to Marth...
Marth: (thinking) Oh, back on track. So...did she want me to ask him out? For her maybe? Maybe I should ask him out for her. That's what I remember. Though it doesn't make sense, why would she want me to ask him out?
Link: Roy, get the sledge hammer.
Marth: NONO! I'm ok now!
Roy: Damn...
Marth: Uh, let's see...
Link: Well, come on guys! Let's be "random"! That's what we've been waiting for!
Marth: Um, ahem. (thinking) For Autrya! (saying) Roy, will you go out with me?
Link: Whoa! I meant random, but I didn't mean that random!
Roy: What the hell are you talking about?
Marth: Autrya asked me to ask you out, and I did. For her.
Link: . . . . . . .
Roy: . . . . . . .
Link: Oh! Ha! I get it! She didn't mean you should ask him out and do it for her sake, she meant ask Roy to go out with her! Hahaha!
Roy: Oh, she wants to go out with me?
Marth: Alright, duh. That makes a lot more sense. Sorry dude.
Roy: . . . . .
Marth: . . . . . .
Roy: . . . .Do you wanna go out wi-
Marth: Don't push it.
Roy: Hm, alright...uh...(looks at Link)
Link: (looks at Roy, lightbulbs, nods)
Roy: Alright, I'll go out with you, I mean her!
Marth: Ok, good. I'll tell her. (leaves)
Roy: Ok, what's your brilliant idea that just got me a date with some freak?
Link: We'd better go somewhere else. (leaves for bedroom)
Roy: (sighs and follows)
In the bedroom (gee, who'da thought)
Link: Alright, listen up. You go out with her and play along and blah blah, then, you can kill her!
Roy: What? That's wrong! That's inhuman! That's...that's fucking brilliant!
Link: That way, she won't be around here anymore, won't soak up attention, and won't become a smasher!
Roy: But I'll get caught!
Link: No, that's where you're wrong. Kill her outside, then just go inside the building where you're dating. Change clothes, and flee the scene or call the cops. No one will ever know.
Roy: How do I kill her?
Link: With this. (holds out shiny new dagger)
Roy: ...Where'd you get that?
Link: Uh, Dense Forest gave it to me. I said I'd cut him down if he didn't.
Flashback:
Link: Oooh, what's that?
Dense Forest: Something my great grandfather stole, I mean made! Made...
Link: Can I see it?
Dense: Well, it is rather important...
Link: (draws sword) Hand it over or Daft over there's gettin' it.
Daft: No! Dense! Do it for me! Do it for your people! Hand him the dagger!
Dense: Oh...alright, for my people!
Forest: (cheers)
Link: (takes dagger) Thanks. (cuts down Daft on the way out)
Daft: NOOOO! I knew I shouldn't have trusted him!
Dense: . . . .Hey, wanna hear a "if a tree falls down in a forest joke"?
Daft: Oh, not that one again you old-
End of Flashback:
Link: Yeah, it's a real important dagger, so make sure you don't, like, miss or something.
Roy: Alright. I'll do it.
Ness: (walking by the bedroom outside, listening in on conversation)
Roy: I'll schedule our date for...tomorrow night. I hope that's long enough.
Link: Sounds great. It'll go smoothly, trust me.
Roy: Yeah, this was a good idea. Then again, you always have good ideas.
Link: I guess so, but remember to keep this a secret. We don't want anyone to find out.
Roy: You're right, we should keep it quiet, becuase if anyone were to find out...
Ness: (dashing off to tell someone laughing and sprinting blindly)
Ness: (hits a wall, dusts self off, resumes laughing and running)
Link: (stepping out of room) What was that?
Roy: Crap! I hope someone didn't hear us! Then we're just plain screwed.
Link: Oh, look. A shoe? . . . . . . .Ness!
Back in the kitchen
Marth: (playing "Quarters" with Falco) Ouch!
Falco: (gets hit) Hehehe.
Marth: Oh, that's no fair, you haven't got any knuckles!
Falco: I thought you'd never find out.
Ness: (enters room) Hey, guess what?
Mario: What?
Ness: I heard Link and Roy talking about-
Ganondorf: (entering room) Whoa, what's wrong with your head?
Ness: Shut up. Link and Roy were-
Kirby: (enters room) Hey guys!
Ness: Hey Kirby, shut it. They were discussing-
Pikachu: (enters room) What's for lunch today?
Ness: QUIET! Link and Roy were-
Link: (appearing eerily behind Ness with an evil expression on face, ready to pulverize Ness) We were what?
Ness: . . . . . . . . . Oh nothin'.
Link: Thought so.
Master Hand: (enters room) Ah, the perfect crew! I need you all to do something for me!
Falco: (dashes off into other room)
Ganondorf: If it is clean the toliets forget it I am not doing that one more time!
MH: (laughs) It's not.
Mario: What is it?
MH: I need you all to run some important errands for me. They are on this list. Please hurry and I'll see you when you get back. (flicks them all out the door into the SMASH VAN BABY!)
Marth: Ew, this van needs a new paint job.
Pikachu: Looks like the Mystery van on Scooby Doo.
Link: Yeah, we should at least get rid of the "baby", that's just too much.
Ganondorf: Everyone, get up. We've got errands to run.
Mario: (dusting self off) First thing on the list, pick up Yoshi's medicine. Yoshi has medicine?
Pikachu: Ha! I knew it!
Marth: Let's go already! And...that van is ugly!
Link: Ganon, you drive.
Ganondorf: Aw, why me?
Link: Because.
Ganondorf: . . . . . .MEXICAN!
Link: SEAFOOD!
Ness: Not this again! (thinking) KFC, KFC...
Mario: Let's go already.
Marth: That's what I said!
Pikachu: Hm, it says to pick his medicine up at the vet. So let's go! Ganondorf, drive!
Ganondorf: You people suck.
Pikachu: (crying) THAT'S A SERIOUS BLOW TO MY SELF-ESTEEM!
Ganondorf: Sheesh, little baby. (drives off to town)
Meanwhile...in the mall...
Zelda: Uh, Peach?
Peach: Be quiet Zelda! We've only been here a few minutes.
Zelda: (sigh) Do you remember agreeing to this, Samus?
Samus: Very vaguely...
Flashback
Peach: Hey, guys! Wanna go to the mall with me?
Samus: Uhm, no.
Peach: Great! So I'll see ya in 20 minutes!
Zelda: . . . . . .I think the "uhm" threw her off a little. . . .
Samus: Probably.
End of Flashback
Zelda: Well, I guess we'll just tough it out.
Autrya: ohmigosh I love this store!
Samus: (SIGH)
Meanwhile, on the road...
Ganondorf: So, where is the vet place?
Marth: god, this vehicle is embarrasing...
Pikachu: (sniff sniff) Uh, it's right around this corner. (sob)
Link: Pull yourself together, emo pansy.
Pikachu: WAAAAAAAA I'M SO DEPRESSED I'M GONNA GO CUT MYSELF JUST CUZ YOU SAID THAT!
Link: Uh, ok. Please do.
Mario: Here we are!
Ness: Finally...
Ganondorf: (entering the room) Hey, can I get a-
Vet: (ducking behind desk) TAKE EVERYTHING AND LEAVE! HERE, TAKE MY MONEY!
Ganondorf: Uhh...
Mario: We just want some medicine.
Vet: EVERYBODY GET DOWN! ROBBERS!
Everybody: (getting down, screaming)
Marth: Looks like we'd better get it ourselves.
They all rummaged through the medicines, until Ness found something.
Ness: Uh, here's something.
Mario: (viewing) Looks like it says "Yoshi", this one outta be it.
Link: This one says Yoshi too.
Pikachu: So does this one.
Marth: This one too.
Ganondorf: We were looking for "Yoshi"? I was looking for "Ihsoy".
Link: Why, you idiot?
Ganondorf: I'm dyslexic, leave me alone!
Link: Ok, so which one is our Yoshi's medicine?
Mario: I know how to find out!
Pikachu: Not me!
Mario: No, not testing them. The perfect solution.
Kirby: What?
Mario: (deep breath) eenie meenie miney moe...
Once he was done, they picked the last one left.
Link: So this is it? We don't have very long you guys.
Kirby: Let's just take them all! We don't have to pay, everyone is already on the floor anyway.
Ness: Ok, let's get going!
Mario: Next stop, buy groceries? Didn't we just buy...?
Link: (sigh) What's on the list?
Mario: Milk, cheese, eggs-
Link: Cheese! I bought the whole store's cheese supply! Whoever ate all that really likes cheese!
Kirby: What else?
Mario: Fabric softeners, lightbulbs, needle-nose plyers, canned pimentoes...
Ness: Geez, talk about random...
Mario: condoms...
Link: What the hell?
Mario: tampons...
Marth: This is messed up.
Mario: 2 pounds of asparugus...
Ganondorf: God, did he plan this?
Mario: fish eyes...
Kirby: Oh yeah, he planned this.
Mario: 15 carnations, AA batteries, and warm-on-contact moisturizer. That's it.
Link: Half of that stuff is really unnecessary...
Ness: But what's he gonna say if we only come home with half the stuff?
Ganondorf: Uh, they were out of stock?
Mario: Let's just buy them. Should we split up? There's six of us.
Pikachu: Ahem, seven.
Mario: Right seven. So three groups. Me and Ganondorf will take the milk, cheese, eggs, asparugus, and fish eyes.
Link: I hate you guys.
Ganondorf: Pikachu and Kirby, you can take the needle-nose, lightbulbs, fabric softeners, canned pimentoes, and AA batteries.
Marth: You planned that didn't you?
Pikachu: So that means you two and Ness have to get the tampons, condoms, moisturizer, and carnations. Ha!
Ness: That's cruel. Can I go with Kirby and Pikachu?
Mario: Nope, they've got it handled. Oh, and could you get Peach some shampoo while you're down there by the feminine items? (laughs off)
Pikachu: I'll see you guys later! Let's go Kirby.
Kirby: Where do we find the needle-nose plyers?
Link: . . . . . . . .Well, this stinks.
Marth: We don't have to buy them you know. He probably won't notice.
Ness: Yeah, we can go slack off.
Mario: (calling from across the store) NO YOU CAN'T!
Link: Dammit. We'd better get started.
Meanwhile, back at the mall...
Autrya: Wow, we've been shopping for only 45 minutes? It seems like-
Samus: 4 hours!
Autrya: I was gonna say more like 10 minutes!
Samus: . . . .Of course.
Peach: Why don't we take a break?
Zelda and Samus: YES!
Meanwhile, in the supermarket, which I am lost in...
Ganondorf: Milk, check.
Mario: Cheese, check.
Ganondorf: Eggs, check. Only they're Grade B.
Mario: I don't know the difference.
Ganondorf: Next, 2 pounds asparugus. Ugh.
Mario: Why does he need this crap?
Ganondorf: I guess someone in the mansion likes it.
Back at the mansion
Yoshi: Uugh...I hope they hurry with that medicine...
Mewtwo: I told you, you shouldn't have eaten that asparugus...
At the supermarket
Kirby: We got the plyers, and the lightbulbs, now what?
Pikachu: We still need...fabric softener, batteries, and pimentoes, whatever the hell those are.
Kirby: I know what they are.
Flashback
Kirby: Hm, I'm hungry...(looks through cupboard)
Kirby: Hey! Pimentoes? (eats)
Kirby: (dies)
Bowser: Oh my god! (brings back to life through...magic koopa powers)
Kirby: (burp) Damn, those were pretty good.
End of Flashback
Kirby: Let's get a lot of them!
In the non-food items section
Link: I'm not gettin' them, you get them.
Ness: Yeah right, I'm not gettin' them, you.
Link: No, I told you to first, you go get 'em.
Ness: I ain't gettin' them, you go.
Marth: I'll get them, you babies.
Link: BE CAREFUL!
Marth: (approaches the tampon shelf) What's the big deal anyway?
Random family #84329: . . . . . .
Marth: I work here, and a disabled lady requested some.
Random family #84329: (nodds, walks off)
Marth: (returning to the trembling Link and Ness with box of tampons) Piece of cake.
Meanwhile, in the mall...
Samus: (dragging 4 bags of clothes)
Zelda: (dragging 4 different bags of clothes)
Autrya: Let's go here next!
Peach: Ok!
Samus: WE AREN'T PACK-MULES YOU POOP FACES!
Autrya: Oh, Samus! You slay me! Of course you are! Now let's go!
Zelda: . . . . . . You slay me. Who says that anymore?
In the grocery department
Mario: Ok, we got the asparugus. Now what? Fish eyes?
Ganondorf: Yep, then we'll be done.
Mario: Ok, let's go get them fish eyes.
Ganondorf: Master Hand eats the weirdest foods...
Mario: Don't remind me. What do you think, trout eyes or bass?
Ganondorf: Mmm, go with the trout.
Mario: Alright. Well. Looks like we're done!
Meanwhile...
Kirby: Ok, we got the pimentoes. Fabric softeners...which do you think? Spring Breeze or Ocean Mist?
Pikachu: Ahem, unlike Ganondorf, I don't have a preference.
Kirby: ...Spring Breeze it is. Now the batteries. Here we go. That was easy. We're done! Let's go to the front.
Meanwhile. . . . . . . .. . .. .. .. .. .. . . .. . ... .. ... .. .. . .. ... . .. .. ..
Marth: (sigh) Condoms, flowers, and some stupid lotion. I'm gettin' the flowers.
Link: Fine. Ness, you get the condoms.
Ness: Why do I have to?
Link: Because I'll beat you up if you don't.
Ness: Sheesh...
Link: And how am I supposed to find that lotion? They probably have 20 different brands.
In the garden section
Marth: Carnations. I wonder what those look like.
Supermarket helper #43: Can I help you?
Marth: Yeah, I'm looking for some- AAAAAAH!
I hope that chapter was a little funnier. I found it better. Thanks all for reviewing. Here we go with the usual closing. Oh no! What's wrong with Marth? Who is Supermarket helper #43? Will Ness find the condoms? Will Link find the lotion? Did Mario get the right kind of fish eyes? Are Zelda and Samus going to last in the mall? Is Yoshi gonna live? How many more errands are there? And why is Autrya continuing to be such a spaz? Find out soon, in the next chapter! I won't update unless I get a lot of reviews!
chapter 10, coming soon to a theater near (or far from) you!