Background: Same Kyrie and same universe as, in order, deep breath The Sins of Two Fathers, Retribution Nor Redemption, Descendants of the Mundane, and Fool's Journey. I suppose this story specifically came from Fool's Journey (and Make 'em Smile, and This Mess... but nevermind), in one sense... but really, it was spawned by a theoretical conversation by a friend one late, late night. (And I still hate you. grin) It's set a few months after Fool's Journey, by the way.
Possible WARNINGS: You better believe this will likely contain a lot of foul language, "possible" weird sexual situations, relationships that are generally considered not part of the mainstream, plenty of violence, and a hell of a lot of screwing with the heads of readers and characters alike. If you've read anything of mine before, you probably know what to expect. It's gonna get dirty in here. Also keep in mind that this was thought up and written well before Kingdom Hearts 2 came out, so... yeah.
Ties that Bind and Tear Apart
Chapter 3
By Orin Drake
Everything she'd experienced
during her strange journey to Traverse Town rushed her, choked her--all
at once, she remembered everything. Waking up, being told
her world was gone, the memories of everyone she'd made physical contact
with... it was all there, as clearly as if it had just happened.
Vincent saw an odd spark
to her eyes at the very breathing instant the world crushed against
him, against them. Bigger than her, than them; that much was
immediately clear. Bigger than what he'd known before.
And, yet... it only lasted
that blink, that barely a shard of a second before it died down like a
nightmare after being awoken. That was certainly the strangest
thing about the incident, how easily it was left in the background.
There,
remembered, experienced... but suddenly not with any of the importance
it initially felt necessary. In fact, for once... it felt like it
ought to be ignored in favor of anything else.
To fight the urge to move
on... Vincent wasn't certain. Neither was anyone else, by the look
of it.
--All but Kyrie. Of
course... it must be hers. Not of blame, but of... explanation.
She looked less than unsure; she seemed quite desperate to ignore the event,
in fact.
Not that she will,
Vincent knew. The look exchanged was enough--he was calling her out,
alright. Into their own open; in private. He turned
to the boys as casually as usual, voice holding all of the hard-fought
seriousness the situation so rarely deserved. "I'm certain you two
can find some havoc to wreak. That won't get you arrested, preferably."
Ouch. So soon... but
Rodger kept his humor. He had to. "No promises, Vincent."
John followed his lead,
if only to give Kyrie a moment to regain herself. "What, you can't
get us out of jail?"
The raven-haired man crossed
his arms, his eyes narrowing. "It's not a matter of can, Mr.
Sparda."
Well... that got them to
rush off quickly enough. The two left behind walked in silence to
Vincent's office. Far too familiar... but comforting in that respect,
as well.
Door locked and security
devices enabled, Vincent turned to see the girl already sitting--on his
desk. No pretense, no need to wait. It seemed she'd come with
the purpose of discussion... so he would discuss immediately. He
knew. It wasn't hard to guess, but... somehow he knew.
"That night, correct? The 'possible dream'?"
"How'd ya know?" she sighed,
though all sarcasm seemed lost the moment her mouth was open. She
shook her head, her entire manner changing. Suddenly she was truly
herself
again; confident, severe, blunt and full of good humor. There was
no reason to be anything else, dammit. She refused to let
the burdens of the world beat her down again. "This isn't... meant
to be your problem, Vincent. I've really got to keep it away from
you."
He raised an eyebrow at
that. Well, he almost felt... offended in a way, he supposed...
but not strongly. Not really--he understood better than that.
He just... wanted to offer. To let her know. With a nod, he
responded, "Should you need anything."
She was immensely glad of
how he handled the whole thing. Not that he'd needed to tell her,
really... "It's appreciated."
He did need to get one thing
clarified, however. "Would Cloud happen to be involved in... this?"
He certainly remembered her question, months ago... as to whether he and
Cloud had been at one another's throats at one point.
With a deep breath, she
took a moment to work out the answer. "I don't know for sure.
But he might."
He gave one, terse nod.
There was worry behind it... but there was appreciation, too. Trying
to handle it herself would be dangerous... but trying to find the correct
sources to gather information from, then taking the responsibility upon
herself... it was a decent thing. "Perhaps you should go see him
and find out."
She nodded, excusing herself.
At the door, she tossed out an almost too-casual, "Thanks."
He inclined his head slightly,
silent. There was no need... not to remind her, not to offer her
any more. She knew. That was enough.
She made quick work of finding
Rodger and John, doing what they could to relieve Kiros of stress... or
help to give him more. Either way, they were hanging around the man.
Kyrie grinned at the look
the elder man had shot her. If only she were capable of sympathy...
"Hey you two. I'm gonna go see Cloud..."
"We'll stay here."
Her husband responded. While it was out of knowing that she needed
some time to talk to him herself... there were also more pressing matters
at hand.
"Yeah." John agreed.
"And it's got nothing to do with your birthday."
The half-devil got a barely
joking glare from the brunette... to which he stuck out his tongue.
Kyrie was enjoying the exchange while Kiros shook his head, mumbling to
himself something about hopeless boys or whatnot.
She gave them a wave, waiting
to see how things would turn out... likely from security tapes. "I'll
catch you later, then."
She wandered down the private
hallways and the hidden elevator, darting across to Cloud's shop the instant
she saw it empty. Of all but the blonde himself, of course.
She was somewhat pleased
that Mako eyes meeting her own didn't cause another stomach-churning "shift"
as had happened with Vincent moments before... though what sense that made,
she couldn't really find the time to question at that moment. Maybe
he hadn't felt it because they hadn't been... uh, "close" in a "certain
special way". The thought alone made her smile back at him--trying
to keep the deviousness out of the expression.
"Busy?" she inquired, innocently
enough.
Such a question, out of
the blue, meant plotting was about to happen. He indicated she wait
for a moment as he pulled the metal grates down and turned off the front
lights, then met her again in the back of the store. "Nope."
He responded, ready to be amused.
She really, really wished
she could offer him that much at the moment... but there was a very important
matter to discuss. Something she'd seen through the memories of the
other Cloud that were just so... important, so focused, that
she didn't think it could have possibly existed only in the other world...
Whether or not it had anything to do with the weird things starting to
happen... she could only hope it held some sort of explanation. "Hey...
Cloud?"
An eyebrow rose at her sudden
change in tone. It was unfamiliar in its carefulness, its timid curiosity.
He almost felt as if he should be in a defensive pose. "Yes?"
Part of her warned her not
to ask... after all, it was a question that came from nowhere, as far as
he would be concerned. Not to mention, it probably wasn't any of
her business... but... "Who... was Zack?"
He was utterly taken aback
by her question. His silence spanned almost a full minute, just trying
to understand where the hell that had come from. When he did finally
respond, it was very quiet. "I don't really want to talk about him."
Well. Damn.
She was hoping to have one question answered, anyway... but she respected
his past being left where it was. If that was the way he wanted,
she wouldn't press. She couldn't bear to rope him into this if he
played no part...
He was surprised to find
himself not as entirely willing to forget the conversation. "Why
do you ask?"
I wonder if your memories
of him were the same as the other Cloud's, in that awful world... I wonder
if you thought about him the same way... I wonder if you fear that
you never told him how good of a friend he was until it was too late for
him to hear you... I want to know if you regret... I want to know if it
ever eats away at you... if it hurts, like Sephiroth... "I had
a dream, I think." Was all she said.
He had been accused of missing...
a great deal of detail, in his time. He couldn't quite ignore any
of this. "It was more than that."
"Can't prove it."
She joked lightly.
He swallowed at the ease
in which she could shut down, put on a perfectly solid front of being okay,
and move on. It was... learned behavior, he knew that. Learned
for the reactions of others... from not wanting to dig, to hurt, to push
unwillingly. Even if he answered her... even if he let her in...
He would not dump his life onto her as he'd seen everyone else do.
Maybe she didn't mind... perhaps by some miracle, she didn't mind so much
weight on her shoulders... but he wouldn't risk it. The girl had
her own concerns, obviously. He knew what it was like to be expected
to save everyone, to cure all ills... he didn't want her in that position.
Ever.
Thing was, he remembered
her as a little girl. Remembered unconscious smiles and innocent
laughter... before she knew people were looking at her. He remembered
her parent's protection being quiet, almost hidden... but he remembered.
And that night when he'd climbed through the inn window to find her tied
up next to Sephiroth, of all fucking things... She'd proven stronger
than he had ever imagined, certainly... but she needed her chance to be...
well, not weak, but... normal.
Though... he had no reason
not to answer, really. It wasn't as if he felt he needed to close
that part of his life off, anymore. He'd come to accept it all so
many years ago... centuries... Didn't make it any less painful, but
knowing what she'd been through... opening some old wounds seemed like
the least he could do for her.
"I hated him for a very
long time." He admitted, surprised that there was no more bitterness
there. "He stopped me from getting into SOLDIER..." he blinked as
old memories found him again, playing out behind his words. "I didn't
know that, then. Had no idea he did it to keep me... safe."
He shook his head, shedding the years of lies and pain. "He was my
best friend, once. Saved my life. Died to save me, actually."
Well... had she known that,
she wouldn't have asked. She didn't think the worlds had been that
similar...
He hadn't meant to
say that last sentence out loud. He was having a Laguna moment; covering
his mouth and wondering why the hell he'd spoken in the first place.
The delayed reaction made
Kyrie laugh. She understood, actually. It wasn't as if she
wasn't... prepared for the possibility, anyway. The subject change
was absolutely natural. "Y'know... we haven't really had a conversation
alone together in a long time. And certainly not face to face."
Cloud actually found himself
incredibly grateful for her ability to shift subjects. If she knew
what he'd meant... that's all that mattered. "That's because of your
devoted followers." He teased. "Where are they, anyway?"
"Insisting they stayed behind
for a reason that has nothing to do with my birthday." She shrugged.
"Don't know why the hell it's such a big deal this year."
He didn't say it.
Obviously he knew it, but he didn't say it. The world was planning
a bit of a celebration... twenty-five years since Ultimecia was defeated.
On the very day (albeit a year earlier) of Kyrie's birth. The chances
were too creepy. Rodger had thought it might be a nice idea if Kyrie
were assured a nice day of celebration for herself, not having to deal
with some of the rest of the world and their misunderstandings of what
had taken place. He was inclined to... help.
His silence was enough to
alert her to the idea that he did, in fact, know something about
this birthday thing... but she hid that thought completely. It was
logged away, however... just in case she could use it in the immediate
future.
Strangely enough, that somehow
steered her toward another thought... of what she knew and didn't know.
After the answer about Zack and all... well. It was just that...
she wondered. After recalling those memories of the other world,
and then... knowing what she'd seen through Sephiroth's eyes not all that
long ago...
Something about the kind
of silence she kept around her alerted him to her thought process.
Thoughts of the former general always had an extremely specific
feel to them. It still gave him chills, every now and again...
"I know what you want to ask."
Caught. Uh-oh.
"Do you?"
He smirked at her noncommittal
question. "You... being in... Sephiroth's head. You must have
seen something. Vincent said... he knew you'd seen some memories..."
She turned her eyes away
for a moment, wondering what he wanted from her. A question?
A nod? An admission, likely... she owed him that much. "Only
one flash. Down in a... basement room, it looked like. A kiss,
was all."
It was a little blush.
Barely there at all, in fact. It wasn't as if he assumed he had anything
to hide from her... or even that she may not have picked up on it long
before. It was just... one of those foolish things in the past.
When he'd been so small... so weak, so... worthless. "Ah."
His response amused her.
Maybe there had been more there, somewhere... but that was nothing to press.
She knew certain parts of the psychopath had a thing akin to affection
for the blonde warrior... though beyond that, she'd understood very little.
"Was he... himself, in the
end?" It seemed to Cloud a question that needed asking as
much as it did answering. He... had to know. In those last
moments... before Sephiroth released her back into the Lifestream, back
to be returned to her body... He remembered long ago, when he'd thought
he'd finally killed the man... how it was almost accepted with open arms...
She swallowed so her throat
wouldn't close up. Held close, held secretly... the very little of
the man underneath the madness that she knew, had been mourned for.
Only a little... only a moment's thought once in a while, but...
"I think so. I really believe so."
He nodded, heart set more
at ease than it had been for a long time. "Zack would have liked
to have known that."
"You aren't so happy about
it?" she pressed so lightly that it was almost as if she hadn't at all.
Almost. He sighed
quietly... finding no reason to keep it to himself. He'd known her.
They'd chatted quite a lot when he was sealed up in space... and then they
did spend a lot of time together. But never so... personal.
So distinctly... secretive. So deep in his life. Somehow, though...
he knew that was what she was more than seeking; it was what she needed.
"I am. But... I was never... chosen."
And then it clicked.
Zack and Sephiroth... but Cloud was on the outside to both of them...
"It wasn't... quite like
that." He responded merely to her expression. "Well... it was,
in a way, but... I don't really like admitting it." It wasn't that
they rejected him. Not really. He had a place in each of their
lives, truly... but not in their life together, as he was.
Aeris, by contrast, was... different, somehow... outside of their daily
life and therefore not quite the same.
He hadn't know it, then...
but if he'd just been honest about his love rather than sloughing it off
as crushes and affections, he knew he'd have been able to become more to
them both; their third, as Kyrie had found hers. That... was not
easy knowledge to carry.
She smiled slightly at his
honesty, unwilling to say a single word. She could not interrupt
what may be coming her way...
"I was... so weak, then..."
he sighed, turning away.
Cloud? Weak?
"Kind of hard to believe."
He made a scoffing sound,
glad for her show of support, but... "Yeah. Sure."
"I actually meant that."
She grinned a little, hopping up on the half-empty display table to sit.
"I remember fighting beside you, y'know." She remembered that godawful
night, expected to sleep in the same bed with that silver-haired bastard...
Cloud was strong, then. Take-charge. Knowing. Protective.
"Thanks." He murmured,
quietly. After a moment's quiet reflection, he took a seat next to her.
He realized he was speaking mostly to himself, but these things needed
to be said. "Zack was so... careless. --Not in a bad way, just...
not a man with a single worry. Even during the experiments... he
was pretty amazing. Saved my ass a number of times. Never complained...
always taking care of me... and Seph..."
The nickname both tore at
her heart and made her feel almost... at peace. She didn't want to
ask. Part of her already knew of his (and Zack's, apparently) attraction
to Sephiroth. The man was layered with cold indifference hiding child-like
awe... pain... fear. So much fear. Had Jenova not been so deep
inside of him... The insanity could easily have passed if it had
happened at all. Things most assuredly would have been different.
That was what Cloud had
always hated: it was never Sephiroth's fault. What he became...
was not at all what he should have been. He was merely a living experiment
from the moment of his conception... and while there had been a few in
his life that had treated him kindly, most would never be able to see him
as anything except "beyond human". It caused a lot of fear, hatred,
and false reverence--none of which allowed him to get close to anyone...
except Zack.
"It wasn't even... Jenova,
really." He found himself thinking out loud. "I mean, that
didn't help. That was a... problem." He simplified with a little
smile, seeing Kyrie follow his line of thought completely. "But...
Hojo was to blame for... everything." A weak, wretched, horrible
little man with a hunch had caused the world to end. Literally and
figuratively. "So much was lost because of him..."
The mild shaking in his
voice made her ache. "Oh, you're not in for all this 'feelings' stuff."
She teased softly, trying to put an end to his pain. Just for a bit,
only for a while...
It seemed more like a challenge
to him... He smiled warmly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders
without thinking. It was like a protective wing to shield her...
though why he'd come up with that image, he'd never understand. She
didn't need... "shielding", per se... A little comfort.
A moment's rest. Same as he needed, just then.
She enjoyed it, actually.
For a girl that never could understand physical affection, she'd sure learned
differently. The thought made her try very hard not to cough with
amusement. Something else did come to mind, though, quite suddenly.
"Would you spar with me sometime?"
He blinked. A surprising
question, to say the least. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea..."
"Afraid I'll kick your ass,
right?"
He grinned darkly at her
cockiness, pulling away. Finally, he did know his own power...
and if she meant to test it, even for the matter of a game, well...
He shook the idea from his head. "I've got a few centuries on you..."
Why she suddenly
wanted to spar with him so badly, she didn't know. She knew
it felt right, though. Like she needed to learn something
from it... even though she knew he must be a million times better than
herself. "Look... we can stop the first time I get knocked down,
okay?"
His eyes searched hers,
his manner hesitant. He sighed in defeat, giving into her request
as he stood to leave... but there was just one more thing. "Not that
I think I should ask... or that I even really want the answer, maybe...
but what brings all of this up?"
She owed him that much,
alright. "A dream... maybe."
Simplicity cast a definitive
picture. She didn't want to elaborate... and he didn't need for her
to. At a loss for words, what wound up falling out of his mouth was,
"Good luck with that."
She grinned more at the
sentiment than the puzzled look on his face when he realized what he'd
just said. "Thanks, Cloud."
At least she didn't seem...
upset. "No problem, Ky."
Never a dull moment.
"Can we spar now?"