I start to cry again, as the utter hopelessness of my situation begins to sink in. I would have given my life to save Michelle. Now that I cannot even do that, my life has no worth. It is nothing to me. I am nothing.

I feel around in my pocket. Jack's gun is still there, where I left it. It takes me only a moment to consider this decision. I have nothing left to do in this life. Michelle was my life, and she was taken from me, ripped cruelly from my arms as I held her.

There are others who could run tactical. I am not the only competent analyst at CTU, not even the most competent. Chloe could do what needs to be done easily, and more accurately than I could. She has proved that time and time again while working as an agent. Surely Jack knows this, and is simply trying to keep me going. He knows what I am going through, and what I might do to myself. I am not needed here.

I raise the gun to my head, sobbing louder now. Tears flow down my face as I remember Michelle, and all the wonderful times we shared together.

I think back to our wedding day… the first one. We were so in love. Back then, we believed that nothing could tear us apart, that we would grow old together, watching our children go to college, get jobs. She wore a lovely white gown that day. Her hair was done in an up-do, but her ringlets refused to be contained and burst from her bun. She smiled and laughed the entire time. So did I. Our happiness, like Michelle's curls, was insuppressible. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Her cheeks were flushed, from excitement, and her eyes had a special sparkle about them. Michelle had always had an intricate beauty to her, but it was emphasized and rightfully praised that day. I could not take my eyes off her.

She is gone now. Dead. I put my finger on the trigger, preparing to shoot. I am crying harder still, but I barely notice. I am too sad and enveloped within myself by this point to notice anything happening around me.

I remember the day we first met, at CTU. My first thought had been something like, 'Wow, she's hot' but as I continued to work with her I realized how strong a person she was. How she would always try, to the best of her ability, to do the right thing. An important trait in our line of work. Our former line of work. I do not believe in love at first sight; I think you need to know someone before you can love them. If I did, I would say that the moment I greeted Michelle, I was already in love.

I click the trigger, but the chamber is empty. I can do it, I now know. I can kill myself. I have the willpower. I knew, from the moment Jack told me, that this is how it would end. I would not, will not be able to continue functioning without Michelle.

I find my mind wandering once again. My life with her. The way she always prepared coffee in the morning, never daring to venture into the realm of eggs or bacon. The way she laughed when I teased her. The feel of her soft hair under my fingers. Her determined negotiating when it came to our firm. The touch of her lips against mine…

My shoulders heave as I sob louder. My face is completely wet with my own tears. I click the trigger again, as I have so many times before, on the job, and this time the chamber is not empty. The bullet rips a hole in my head, and I am conscious for only a second before I am released. Dimly, I feel the hot trickle of blood down my face, onto my chest. And then there is nothing.

It is Jack who finds my body, hours later. An agent is shouting his congratulations as he pushes the door open.

"Thanks" Jack smiles, obviously pleased with the result of the day.

His smile abruptly fades as he steps in, and onto my bloodied hand, still clutching his gun. A look of utter horror clouds his face, immediately followed by pain, then sorrow. He drops to his knees, and he, too, cries uncontrollably. Desperately, he holds my head to his chest, begging me to wake up. It is the second time that Jack has lost someone after saving everyone else. I was his only ally, his only true friend. I am the one person that has experienced everything with him, from Kim's kidnapping to his staged death, and he knows it. He clutches me tighter, refusing to let go, to accept reality.

He knows why I did it. I had nothing left to live for after what happened to Michelle. After Teri died, Jack still had a life, a daughter to care for. I had nothing. He rocks gently back and forth, holding me close, sobbing his apologies.

"I'm sorry, Tony, I'm so sorry…"