Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.
To everyone who mentioned they didn't think I should have sent Cadman to McKenzie, the reason I used him is he is someone recognisable from the SGC.
Next part is coming soon.
Enjoy
"Lieutenant," Dr McKenzie said, "This is the fifth time we've spoken and you still have not mentioned how you feel about Dr McKay."
"Because I don't know," Cadman snapped as she paced.
"Look at it this way," McKenzie leaned back in his chair, "You have been through an extremely traumatic chain of events which all focus around one person and yet you refuse to be angry at him."
"It wasn't his fault," Cadman cried.
"He was the one who wanted to explore the laboratory, he was the one who touched the object," McKenzie listed.
"I went to touch it," Cadman whispered, "And he touched it accidentally stopping me."
"So you're blaming yourself," McKenzie stated, "For that and because your attraction to Dr McKay meant that this Ellis did not need to use as much of his drug on you as he would someone else. Meaning that the others didn't discover the possession before he…seduced you."
Cadman sighed and sat down again, "Yeah."
"It wasn't your fault," McKenzie reminded her, "And the sooner you realise this the sooner you can move past this."
Cadman suddenly smiled, "Thank you Dr."
x
"Stay still Laura," her mother scolded her as she shifted uncomfortably in the chair.
"Stop trying to burn my hair," Cadman shot back, she hated all this fuss but it was her sister's wedding day and she kept reminding herself that this was for Fiona.
"You look great Laura," Fiona told her from the seat at her side.
"I feel like a doll," Cadman grimaced, "I hate all this."
"Yes, yes," her mother said flatly, "I'm almost done so stop complaining."
"You could have let the professional fix your hair," Fiona reminded her.
"Mom doing it is bad enough," Cadman told her, "I don't want a stranger touching me at the moment."
"Touching you?" Fiona asked worriedly.
"Touching my hair," she corrected herself.
"That's not what you said," Fiona stated.
Cadman frowned, "Fi, don't worry. I'm just being neurotic. This is your day so relax and enjoy it."
"As long as you're sure," Fiona said.
"Fi," Cadman warned.
"Alright, alright, relax and enjoy the day," Fiona smiled.
x
"Whoever chose this music should be locked away for the good of mankind," Cadman muttered to her father who laughed as they sat in the reception hall watching everyone dance.
The wedding had gone without a hitch however as the day drew on Cadman was starting to feel worse and worse.
"Are you alright Laura?" Her father asked concerned looking at how pale she'd become.
"I…" she swallowed against the saliva filling her mouth, "I just have to go to the ladies," she jumped up and marched towards the toilets.
Locking herself in a cubicle Cadman took several deep breaths trying to control the feeling in the pit of her stomach. The next thing she knew she was on her knees vomiting.
"No, no, no," she gasped horrified, this had to be something else.
Sitting on the floor she rested against the door wrapping her arms around her knees, she had eaten something that disagreed with her that's all this was. It had to be.
After several more minutes she managed to push herself shakily to her feet, staggering out of the cubicle Cadman washed her face wishing she had a toothbrush. Luckily she managed to find a mint in the small purse she was using.
All she had to do was get through the rest of the night and tomorrow she'd do the test.
x
Cadman stared at the paper bag sitting on her bed. It had taken her all morning to even buy it and was now going to take the rest of the day for her to get the courage to actually take the test.
"Alright," she snapped to herself, "You've faced Wraith you can do this."
With a deep breath she grabbed the bag and headed to the toilet to take the test.
"How can two minutes take so damn long," she snapped to the room as she paced waiting for the results.
Finally she could look and Cadman picked up the small stick closing her eyes she took several deep breaths before looking at the results.
"Oh God," she sighed dropping the test.
"Laura," her mother called, "Honey, are you alright?"
Cadman swallowed hiding the test quickly before opening the door, "I'm fine Mom."
"There's a man here to see you," her mother told her, "Said he's a friend from your last posting."
Cadman's stomach flipped hopefully as she walked down the stairs as calmly as possible. She felt slight disappointment but still smiled relieved at the man who was waiting to see her.
"Carson."
x
Carson checked the address on the card he had, knocking quickly. The woman who answered made him smile; this was definitely the right address.
"Hello," he greeted the woman with a smile, "I'm Dr Carson Beckett and I'm a friend of Lieutenant Cadman. Is she here?"
"Of course," the woman smiled, "I'm April her mother."
"It's nice to meet you," Carson nodded walking in when she motioned; he stood in the living room as April went to get her daughter.
Carson could hear their murmured voices and turned with a smile to greet his friend as she descended the stairs.
Cadman smiled at him, "Carson."
"Hi," he shrugged, smiling even more when she hugged him.
"What are you doing here?" Cadman demanded.
"I was visiting home and since I'm not heading back for a few days I thought I'd come see you," he told her, "See how you're doing."
Cadman squeezed his arm, "Let's walk."
They wandered along the sands both listening to the calming sounds of the ocean in silence Cadman knew why he'd come.
"So," Carson finally got the courage up to ask, "How are you?"
Cadman stopped walking and turned to him, "Pregnant."
"Oh dear, I was afraid of this," Carson sighed wincing as she hit his arm.
"You what?" Cadman cried annoyed, "What do you mean you were afraid of this?"
Carson stepped back from her, "Cadman, I've been studying the drugs used and I realised it would have neutralised any birth control you were using."
"Well thanks for that Carson," Cadman told him sarcastically.
He sighed, "There's another reason I came to see you."
"And what would that be?" she demanded staring hard at him.
Carson resumed walking chewing his lip as she walked beside him waiting impatiently.
"Just before I came Rodney was in an accident," Carson explained, "The Jumper he was in crashed into the ocean."
Cadman felt ice fill her stomach, "What?"
"He's alright," Carson assured her, "Bump to the head, concussion and hypothermia. He was stuck on the bottom but Colonel Sheppard and Dr Zelenka got him out. However, the bump he received to his head…"
Cadman swallowed, "He remembers."
"Not exactly remembers but he knows what happened," Carson replied, "I know you've been offered a permanent post on Atlantis and I thought that if you were going to take it you should be aware of this."
"Assuming they allow me back knowing I'm pregnant," Cadman reminded him.
Carson gave her a sly smile, "If they know."
Rodney frowned as he worked on the latest find brought back by one of the teams. He was pretty sure he knew what it was but considering he hadn't eaten yet he decided now would be a good time for dinner.
Except he was avoiding everywhere with people at the moment.
After the incident with the Jumper he'd had some bizarre and very vivid dreams concerning Cadman, which he at first attributed to the fact that he did miss her but then they became less like dreams but more like memories.
Which is why he'd gone to see Carson.
"What happened during the time we were missing?" Rodney demanded the moment he found Carson in his office.
"Rodney?" Carson asked a little confused.
"When…that Ellis guy kidnapped Cadman," Rodney told the doctor, "What did he do to her?"
Carson licked his lips nervously, "Look Rodney whatever happened is not important."
"Not important?" Rodney yelled, "If they had…it was still me and…"
"Look Rodney," Carson said softly, "Whatever happened doesn't matter. Lieutenant Cadman is now no longer a member of this expedition and she clearly stated that she didn't want you to know."
At Carson's advice Rodney tried as much as he could to erase the memory, it hadn't been him and the way his memories were working it was like watching some strange movie. Besides she was gone from his life he had to get used to that.
He checked the time and decided that Carson should have returned from Earth by now, Carson would hopefully want to have something to eat with him. Turning off his computer he looked up and stopped staring in shock.
"Hello Rodney," Cadman said softly from the doorway.
x
Cadman was amazed she'd made it through the journey back to Atlantis without anyone realising she was pregnant. Her morning sickness was amazingly punctual and Carson had made sure she was safely in her room at the time she was throwing up. He had hidden any evidence of it and kept telling her to let him worry about the consequences. Now they had finally arrived and after getting her things to her room then being sick on schedule she was heading to find Rodney.
She'd spent the past eighteen days trying to work out how to tell him about this and that she didn't expect anything of him but no matter what she said it just sounded stupid.
Poor Carson had been used as a guinea pig throughout the entire journey and in the end gave her one piece of advice. Don't over think it.
So here she was standing in the doorway of Rodney's lab about to change his life with two words. She stood watching him for several minutes before he looked up and saw her.
Opening her mouth she said the first thing that came to mind.
"Hello Rodney."
x
Rodney's mouth went dry as he stared at the woman standing in his doorway.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded reverting to the acerbic persona he showed to all but a small few.
"I was offered a permanent assignment here," she replied walking towards him, "So, I came back."
"Oh," was his only reply.
She took a deep breath, "Carson told me you know what happened with Ellis."
He dropped his gaze, "Yeah."
"It wasn't your fault," Cadman told him, "Trust me on this but there is something you should know."
Rodney crossed his arms across his chest defensively, "And what's that?"
Cadman licked her lips, "I'm pregnant."
"You're…you're…" Rodney stammered.
"Yes."
"And what do you want from me?" he demanded, "That is why you're here right?"
"Rodney…"
"No," he cut her off, "I didn't get the fun part but I get to be responsible for the consequences."
Cadman firmed her lips in annoyance, "I only thought it would be best to tell you before I told Dr Weir and Colonel Sheppard because like it or not Rodney you are the biological father. Thanks for your support."
With that said she marched away leaving Rodney to sink into the chair in shock.
x
Rodney sat not sure what to do. Finally he managed to stand up and headed towards the infirmary, having been away for several weeks that would be Carson's first port of call.
It didn't take him that long to find the Doctor who was sitting in his office going over reports.
"Hello Rodney," Carson said softly as he stormed into the room closing the door.
"I need to talk to you," Rodney started as he paced.
Carson moved everything to one side and folded his hands onto the desk, "About?"
"Cadman's pregnant," Rodney blurted out.
Carson nodded, "I know."
"Of course you do," Rodney snapped, "I should have known," he sunk into the extra seat.
"What did you say to her?" Carson asked knowing his friend only too well.
"I don't know," Rodney groaned, "I don't even know what she wanted?"
Carson sighed, "She wanted your support Rodney. You are, no matter the circumstances, the father of her child. All she wanted was to know that you'd be there as a friend during this."
"I screwed up again didn't I?" Rodney sighed.
"Completely," Carson replied, "Look, go and get some rest then talk to her tomorrow. And try to be less you than normal."
"Thanks Carson," Rodney stood up and headed out the door, "It's good to have you back.
"Goodnight Rodney," Carson smiled.
Rodney walked slowly through the corridors replaying the conversation with Cadman over and over. Finally reaching his room he changed and climbed into bed. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sleeping when he felt someone shake him.
With a groan he forced open his eyes shocked to find the woman there, "Cadman?"
Cadman sighed as she left Rodney's lab; that had not been the best way to do that she realised too late. He looked as though he was a deer caught in the headlights when she'd said the magic words.
Cadman continued berating herself as she entered her room, she should have been a little more gentle with him. She knew Rodney well enough to know he never reacted well to surprises like that.
"Get some sleep," she decided to the room, "Go and talk to Sheppard and Weir then talk to him again."
With a shake of her head Cadman headed for a quick shower, she needed to relax a little but since there was no chance of a long relaxing bubble bath the shower was her only choice.
As she let the warm water stream over her Cadman thought over what Rodney had said to her and it occurred to her that in his own way he was right. What was strange was how good it had felt to see him again, how much she'd wanted to go wrap her arms around him and hug him tightly.
As she dried herself Cadman hoped her family weren't too angry at her for sending them a letter revealing her condition but she couldn't risk them trying to stop her coming back here. Finally she just slid under her covers and tried to get some sleep.
She lay staring at the ceiling annoyed that not even the sound of the city that she'd missed so much could lull her to sleep.
"Okay," she decided jumping up and pulling on some sweatpants and a t-shirt slipping on a pair of sandals before heading out the door.
Cadman headed to his lab first then to the mess hoping to find him but unusually he wasn't around so she decided to check his room. She knew the code from when they'd shared his body so she opened the door before slipping inside a little surprised to find him fast asleep.
"Rodney," she sat on the edge of his bed and shook him, "Rodney, wake up."
He groaned and his eyes fluttered open, he stared at her in confusion, "Cadman?"
x
"Cadman," Rodney stared at the woman on the edge of his bed as he pushed himself up on his elbow, "What are you doing here?"
"I was thinking and you're right," Cadman told him.
"Oh," Rodney frowned, "About what?"
"About what you said earlier," she explained.
Rodney rubbed his eyes, "I say a lot of things Cadman, what specifically?"
She frowned at him.
"Cadman," he cried, "It's two in the morning and I just woke up. Please tell me what you're talking about."
She leaned closer to him, her long hair spilling onto his shoulder sending up a wave of coconut shampoo.
"I think you're right that we're dealing with the consequences and neither of us really got the fun part," she told him.
Rodney winced at what he'd allowed to spill out of his mouth earlier, "Cadman, I'm sorry I…" he was cut off as she pressed her lips to his.
"What are you doing?" Rodney managed to form coherently to his surprise.
Cadman grinned at him, "The fun part Rodney," she continued to kiss him.
"Cadman," Rodney whispered trying not to get too caught up in this because he knew this was going to end very soon, "This is a bad idea."
"No Rodney," she murmured sliding her lips across his jaw, "This is a great idea."
x
Cadman pushed Rodney so he was lying on his back and moved to lie on him feeling his arms slide around her waist as they continued to kiss.
"Lieutenant," Rodney breathed rolling her to the side so they were lying facing one another, "I don't have any sort of protection."
Cadman gave him a wry look, "I'm already pregnant Rodney."
"Oh right," Rodney whispered.
"Look, I'm not trying to trap you into anything but I want to be able to tell this child that the night with you was something we both treasure," she whispered, "So just for tonight, don't be yourself and give me this one thing."
Rodney reached out and stroked her cheek, "You are beautiful."
"Good start," she laughed sliding onto him.
x
Cadman moaned with pleasure, Rodney's weight was on her and they were moving together in perfect unison. She was surprised by how giving he was, completely different from what she had expected. As she looked up she was amazed to see his eyes a bright blue, she'd never seen them that colour before. His eyes were usually stormy grey or at the most light blue but never the deep blue they were right now. He looked down on her as she whispered his name and he kissed her once more.
Rodney moved to lie at her side uncertain about what was going to happen now, she licked her lips and sat up reaching for the covers Cadman pulled the sheet over them both turning on her side with her back to him. Rodney gave a soft sigh as she rested against his chest snuggling into him; Cadman took his arm and wrapped it over her.
"Goodnight Rodney," she whispered.
"Night Cadman," Rodney breathed back and just before she fell asleep she felt Rodney's hand rest protectively against her stomach.