Summary: Remus and Tonks help Molly, her twins, and Moody shop at a Muggle supermarket.

Nymph vs Wolf
Food for Thought

Grimmauld Place

"I think we underestimated the consumption of food by adolescent wizards." Remus Lupin scratched his head in wonder. "Did we eat this much as boys?"

Sirius Black offered an alternative explanation. "Locusts! That's got to be it. Molly actually spawned locusts who merely resemble boys."

"What's that about my boys?" asked Molly as she entered the kitchen and ambled toward the cupboard. It took her a moment to register that it was completely empty. "Eeeeiiiii!!!"

Sirius clutched his head since Molly had screamed in his ear. Lupin immediately put his hand on her shoulder and led her away from his beleaguered friend. "Molly, calm down. It's just a minor crisis. We can--"

At that moment, the tremors on the stairway alerted them to the stampeding Horde that soon arrived in the kitchen. Hermione Granger's brown hair was flying wildly as she led the pack of Weasleys behind her crying, "I found it first, it's mine!"

In her hand was the last morsel of food in the house: a shiny red apple. Ginny was blocking her brothers' progress, having entered a silent agreement that the apple would be shared. Hermione glanced at the adults in the kitchen and made a quick assessment of the one most likely to be able to protect her.

Who would have the most power? A DADA professor, a fugitive from Azkaban, or the Mother of the Horde? Hermione darted quickly behind Molly. "Help me!"

Molly didn't even lift her wand or her voice before all the teens were immobilized. What Hermione failed to realize was that the apple in her hand was actually Lupin's and he had stopped the Horde in its tracks. He glanced at the fruit longingly, but kept his peace.

"I think that we should divide the apple while we decide the best way to resolve this food shortage," said Lupin. The apple was immediately cut into six slices with a flick of his wand.

"Remus, we are completely out of food. If we were at the Burrow, I'd have my garden at least, but here, I don't have anything!" Molly was wringing her hands in despair.

Only Sirius noticed Kreacher slinking away. He would later determine that the house elf had been very successful at maintaining the illusion that their food supply was not dwindling until this morning. At the moment, he was too busy ingesting his breakfast.

"Molly, please, just give me a minute," said Lupin as a plan flashed through his mind. "I think I know what we need to do, but I'll need to owl Dumbledore first."

"What's the solution, Professor?" asked Sirius as he quickly swallowed his morsel.

"We need to go shopping."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Tonks' Flat

Tonks was ready to do battle. She first attacked the small washer dryer in her flat by filling it with laundry. She poked at the clothes hesitantly as if she expected them to leap out. She was finally satisfied that the washer would not fight back. It had a knack for rumbling and shaking when she used it, but she was a failure at laundry spells. Satisfied at the lethargy of her laundry, she then tossed some detergent on top and quickly closed the door with an apprehensive look on her face.

Wimples watched these antics as he creeped stealthily to get to the apples now sitting in a bowl on the kitchen counter. The vorpal bunny attempted a mighty leap, but instead his paws landed short of his goal and scratched at the cabinet.

"Wimples! No, you can't have the apples; they're for Remus, remember?" called Tonks. She heard the knock on her door before she could chastise her pet further.

To her surprise she found the Professor at her doorstep with a desperate look on his face. Even Wimples forgot to snarl.

"Remus? What's wrong? Has someone been hurt?" Tonks opened the door and beckoned him inside.

Lupin slumped onto a kitchen stool and said disconsolately, "They ate my apple."

He looked like a sulking little boy and his voice was so quiet that Tonks asked, "What? The apple?"

"Yes, the apple, consumed by the ravenous Horde," sighed Lupin.

Tonks clucked her tongue and put her arm around Lupin's shoulders. She had to offer him some sympathy, didn't she? "The Weasley boys ate your apple?"

"And Ginny and Hermione," added Lupin. Her arm around him eased his mood. It was nice to have friends. Lupin blinked. "Wait! I think Sirius nicked a piece, too."

Wimples wobbled his ears at the news while Tonks held her laughter. She reached into the bowl and offered the fruit, "I didn't realize apples were so popular. Here, free replacement and I don't even have to beat you at chess."

Lupin took a bite of the apple and moaned in satisfaction. "Actually, it was the last piece of food in the house. We grossly underestimated what it would take to feed the lot."

Tonks merely rubbed his back as he indulged in a few more bites of the crunchy apple. She wasn't surprised at the turn of events. Both Sirius and Lupin exhibited spare appetites, although for different reasons. Twelve years in Azkaban was not conducive to maintaining a palate. Likewise, Lupin was accustomed to light meals given his meager funds.

"I bet Molly's in a tizzy. So, what's the plan for replenishing the supplies?" asked Tonks.

"Sainsbury's," replied Lupin with a nod while Tonks casually grabbed the apple from his hand and took a bite. "We need to go shopping at the Muggle supermarket."

"That's a good idea," agreed Tonks as she slipped the apple back into his hand. "Deatheaters wouldn't think to look for us at Sainsbury's. "

"But we do know they're monitoring the magical markets for signs that we've re-established headquarters. That's why we went to Sainsbury's for the first set of supplies. This time we'll need more personnel, though."

The Professor lifted the apple for another bite, but noticed a distinct indentation. He stared at it and asked, "You haven't been letting Wimples nibble on my apples, have you?"

"Nonsense, I can control Wimples," asserted Tonks, only to have the vorpal bunny decide it was time to antagonize Lupin.

Snerf, snerf, snerf. Wimples seemed devoted to snarling at the Professor.

Tonks retrieved her pet and tossed him into his top hat, but then a cascade of foaming bubbles began issuing from the washing machine.

"Oops! Uh, don't worry, I can handle it," said Tonks with mock confidence. "Er, bubble, bubble, please don't double..."

Wimples poked his head just over the rim of the top hat to note Tonks waving her wand frantically. His nemesis, the Werewolf, continued to munch on the perfectly crunchy apple. The were-rabbit made his escape and scampered back to snarl at Lupin.

Snerf, snerf, snerf.

The Professor was absently waving his wand to help Tonks between taking bites of his apple while pointedly ignoring the feral furball Wimples was thus inspired to hop energetically around the Professor's feet. His strategy was inscrutable given the random changes in position, however.

Suddenly, the bunny stopped and twitched his ears. He hurried toward the window and skid to a stop.

Tap, tap. Click, click, click.

Tonks looked up when she heard Wimples' paws clicking against the window pane and saw the owl requesting entry with its taps. She opened her window and the owl, chased the entire way by her pet, darted to Lupin.

Lupin quickly unrolled the scroll, but tossed the generous core of the apple down at Wimples who ran off with it.

"Our mission has been approved," said Lupin.

"Why are you frowning then?" asked Tonks.

"Bill can't deliver the Muggle money, so it's being sent by a special courier."

"And?"

"It's Alastor Moody."

Tonks patted his back. "We'll just divert Mad-eye away from any vending machines and to the vegetables. How hard could that be?"

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: The Entrance

An odd group of people stood outside of Sainsbury's Supermarket. The three redheads were obviously a mother with her sons, but the knitted vest she wore was quite out of fashion. One could also clearly see the knitting needles protruding from her knitted handbag.

Then there was the old woman with the gray curls who would fit with the regular customers, but her bright eyes conveyed a sense of youth that seemed out of place. She wore a fluffy pink cardigan strewn with several pins over black trousers and white Oxford shirt. One of her pins was fashioned out of wood to resemble a sword.

She stood beside a tall, lean gentleman with greying hair and a scarred face. The middle-aged man was dressed in a brown cardigan more befitting someone's grandfather, but he was clearly younger than the woman. The slight lump where his wand was tucked in an innner pocket was not discernible.

The strangest was the old man with a bowler hat cocked over one eye and carrying a rather tall walking stick. He somehow managed to make people feel a bit uncomfortable, as if he could penetrate their very thoughts. Thus, many potential customers walked by as they decided to see to other errands before doing their grocery shopping.

And if the regulars at Sainsbury's had been able to penetrate a muffling charm, they would have found the discussion as odd as their appearance.

"I don't want a single toe out of step, do the two of you understand me?" hissed Molly Weasley as she ended her tirade at her twins. Given the amount of groceries they intended to purchase, Fred and George had been drafted to serve in the current mission since they were now seventeen.

"Mum, you're breaking our hearts by these accusations," intoned George.

"And here all we ask for is a little bit of motherly faith in her sons," sighed Fred regretfully.

"Oh, I have plenty of faith, all right, faith that you'll get into mischief," said Molly. "Remember, these Muggles are, are, well, Muggles!"

Molly walked away from her sons and to the nearest door. She tugged to no avail before she noticed the sign that clearly read: Exit. She blushed, but covered her mistake by abruptly turning to her twins again. She thrust a list into their hands. "And only get what's on the list."

"Molly, don't worry about the boys." Tonks heard a cough and an assertion of "men" from the direction of the twins. "They'll be too busy filling their trollleys."

"Trolleys?" asked Molly with suspicion.

"Just like the luggage trolleys at the Hogwarts Express, except with deep baskets. We'll each need one," explained Lupin as he led her in the door correct door and pulled one out for her.

"Wicked! This is gonna be more fun than we thought," said George as he grabbed a trolley, put one foot on the bottom rail and kicked off.

"Bu--"

Molly was speaking to a receding back because George had to hurry to catch up with his twin. Fred had popped a wheelie before veering out of sight ahead of him.

Lupin could hear Molly pleading to Tonks, "Are you sure you couldn't use imperio on them just this once?"

Tonks responded by pulling out the wooden pin on her cardigan and closing her eyes as her lips moved in a quiet chant. "Auarca gluten."

She turned to the others with a nod. "Don't worry, Molly, they literally can't step one toe out of line. I put a gumshoe spell on their trainers earlier in case this happened and now they're immobilized. I'll release them when we catch up."

The Auror pinned her transformed wand deftly onto her cardigan again. She grabbed her trolley and pulled on Molly's to lead the way.

Lupin turned to Moody just in time to find him inspecting a plexiglass sphere full of smaller, glossy, bright green spheres.

"What's this? How did Muggles get eyeballs from cave demons?" He poked a finger into the delivery slot.

"Those are gumballs, Alastor, like the one's at Honeydukes except the bubbles you can blow are smaller."

"Hm." Moody accepted the trolley that Lupin extended, but turned his head suspiciously as if expecting all the gumballs to orient to his movement. "Let's adopt a serpentine path, just to be safe. Constant vigilance!"

Lupin took a deep breath. This was going to be a long morning. He took Tonks aside when they caught up with the twins to confer. They began simultaneously.

"I think I need to--" "--keep and eye on--" "Moody." "Molly."

They fell silent, turned to look at their charges, then faced each other again. Tonks spoke first this time. "What about the twins?"

"I think they just need a bit of encouragement. Give me a moment," said Lupin. He walked to the boys who were still stuck to the floor. He leaned in to quietly say, "Fred, George, we're all men here, so I just want to say one thing. If you are not on your best behavior today, you'll keep me company during the next full moon."

The twins looked at Lupin's affable smile, then at each other and nodded. While they could rationalize that the Wolfsbane would keep Lupin sane, Ron's description of the Werewolf was not one they wanted to witness first hand.

Lupin turned to Tonks and signaled for her to release the gumshoe spell. The company now heard the Professor say, "We're going to trust you to get the items on your list without supervision. Don't disappoint us."

"We're just here to help our dear Mum," asserted George, "and we've been to Muggle shops before so we know what to do."

"You can count on us to execute our duties with utmost care," assured Fred with a hand over his heart and a gallant bow toward his mother.

Molly's suspicions were somewhat assuaged, but time was wasting. She just shook her finger at them one last time.

"Tonks will stay with Molly while Moody and I follow closely. We'll meet at the checkout in thirty minutes where we'll pass out the Muggle currency for payment."

"Let's go foraging," said Tonks. She pushed her trolley beside Molly while the twins went in the opposite direction. The mission had begun.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Pasta & Rice

Fred and George walked along the rows with decreasing confidence. "The list says we need rice."

"But what kind? I see basmati, thai, jasmine, long-grain..."

"You blokes need some help?" asked a melodic feminine voice. The pretty brunette was a picture of youth and beauty.

The twins turned to find two young ladies, clearly sisters, looking at them quite helpfully and hopefully.

George cleared his throat, "Well, yes, that would be very kind of you."

"We've been out of the country for a time, you see, in, er, Romania," explained Fred glibly. He could see his twin nodding in agreement.

"How exciting! And spooky! Did you run into any vampires or werewolves?" asked the melodic voice with a giggle.

Fred and George merely looked at each other and smiled. This was going to be a delight.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Tinned & Canned Goods

Vegetables

In the tinned vegetable aisle, Tonks and Lupin were able to direct Molly and Moody to differences in brands and appropriate quantities, thus the trolleys were filling quite nicely.

"Eh, what's this. There's something suspicious about this tin, Lupin," whispered Moody. He was holding a can of spinach. A balding cartoon sailor was on the wrapper, one eye larger than the other. "The fellow isn't moving."

Molly leaned over to peer at this novelty.

"Muggle pictures don't move," explained Lupin, "and you really wouldn't want that one to."

"Oh, look at these rows and rows of peas!" said Molly in delight. She began sweeping her hand to put a whole row of cans into her basket when Tonks put a hand out to stop her.

"Molly, let's forget about that. Um, I really don't care for them myself due to a bad childhood experience, actually." Tonks shot a silencing glance to Lupin about this. He had given Molly the impression he enjoyed the peas she had cooked during their first Order meeting--after they wound up crowning his head.

But Molly turned to Lupin anyway and said, "Remus, you must convince Tonks to give peas a chance."

Lupin was surprised he could keep his mouth from twitching at the phrase, especially with Tonks giving him that look of sweet innocence. He made up his mind to avoid any puns, but instead found his tongue slipping. "Molly, peas, I mean, please let's just stick to the items on the list."

Lupin could see the merry twinkle in Tonks' eyes, but Molly agreed and went on to the potatoes. Then, as Tonks cruised by Lupin, she covertly placed a tin in his trolley and murmured, "Peas be with you."

Lupin sighed as he put the peas back into their shelf, then pulled Moody away from an inspection of a can of green beans.

The label held the picture of a green giant that made the Auror mumble, "I think I fought that giant once..."

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Rice & Pasta

"Oh, you are so lucky we decided to help you before seeing to our shopping," declared the brunette. "You can't just get any pasta, you have to know what the dish will be! Fettucine is long and flat while spaghetti is long and thin, but you need to distinguish them from linguine or angel hair..."

The two young women were quite lovely and very helpful, but the girl with the melodic voice had been rather silent. Instead her sister had been giving nonstop instructions in her high pitched, nasally voice. It was like constantly hearing fingernails scraping across a chalkboard!

"How about we get some of each one?" asked Fred desperately.

"That's a grand idea. Mum can cook anything," agreed George readily as he rubbed his ears.

This was one of the most miserable shopping ventures they had ever experienced. They couldn't wait for it to end so they could just get back to Order headquarters to put their time to good use: their creations.

"But now you need the pasta sauces. Of course, you could have alfredo, clam, marinara, pesto..."

"One of each!" called the twins immediately.

"Aren't you lucky we've been here to help?" asked the melodic voice of the siren.

The boys sighed in unison at her dulcet tones and readily agreed, then cringed. That's the mistake they kept repeating.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Meat Counter

Molly was closely inspecting every package of mincemeat in view.

"But where did these come from? How long have they been here? How do you know if it's any good?" asked Molly in quick succession as she poked at the wrapping.

Tonks smiled indulgently and said, "The date is on the label, but if you have other questions, just push that red button. One of the butchers will answer your questions."

Molly bit her lip and hesitantly pressed the button.

Buzz.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" asked the man behind the counter. He smiled kindly at Molly for he had always liked women with red hair. This one had very nice eyes, too.

Molly looked at the man sternly and asked, "Where does this mince meat come from?"

"That's British beef, it is. Black Angus," asserted the man with a proud nod. He smiled, waited for another question, but when none was forthcoming, turned his attention back to his tasks.

Molly asked Tonks out of the corner of her mouth, "What's an anglus?

"An angus is a cow, Molly, now let's load up the packages. A preservation spell will keep them for a year," said Tonks as she began to grab parcels. The men behind her were collecting whole chickens and the larger joints for roasts, but Molly had another issue.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

"Don't need to call more'n once, ma'am," said the man kindly.

"How fresh is the mincemeat, exactly?" asked Molly with suspicion.

"Minced just this morning in our grinders in the back."

"Minced? Not butchered?"

"Eh? Why would we kill the cow here?"

"Why do you call yourself a butcher, then?" asked Molly as she pointed to his badge.

"Molly, dear, I could use your help here," called her elderly companion. Much to the relief of the butcher, she yanked the redheaded woman away. "Look! Bacon! Yummy!"

While Molly was inspecting those packages, Moody turned to Lupin and Tonks and murmured, "I sense something foul."

Lupin and Tonks looked at the package of chicken in Moody's hand, but since Tonks gestured she had zipped her lips to prevent a pun, it fell to Lupin to assure, "It's dead, Alastor, doesn't even have a head."

"Not the fowl, I meant I think we're being watched."

Lupin and Tonks were immediately on alert when they noticed the blue eye whirling madly. Tonks moved closer to Molly and took a vigilant stance.

Lupin looked around again, but said, "I don't see anything out of place. What's the problem?"

Moody jerked his head toward a tank that held lobsters. Indeed, for some unknown reason, each creature appeared to be turned in their direction with their eye stalks seeming to stare. Then Lupin recognized the answer.

"Alastor, the light fixture has gone out on this side of their tank, so it's darker and that's what they prefer. We just happen to be in the same direction."

Tonks relaxed her stance as she heard the explanation, but Moody stomped to the tank to loom over the lobsters. They responded by collectively scampering away from the electric blue eye. Lupin pulled the Auror away before the creatures began trying to crawl out.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Baking Goods

Fred and George had tried to escape, but every attempt failed when the melodic voice had stopped them in their tracks. It was as effective as Tonks' gumshoe spell.

"Fred, George," sang the voice. "This is the way to the baking goods."

The voice of the siren drew them into the net, then the nightmare began again. The painful voice filled their ears, "Now there are several types of flours. There's white, wheat, oat, rye..."

The nasally drone seemed impossible from such a beautiful mouth. George could tell that Fred would have given anything for his wand in order to cast a muffling charm on the girl, but they had been forced to leave them in Grimmauld place so they wouldn't be tempted to play jokes on Muggles. No one had anticipated this torture.

"Let's just get white. Mum likes white." Fred tried to keep his tone friendly.

"She loves white. White is the best, the only," agreed George firmly. They were almost finished with the list.

"Oh, well, then do you need all-purpose or self-rising?"

The twins turned to each other in shared jeopardy. Each refused to ask the necessary question, so they settled for a quick game of paper-rock-scissors.

George sighed when he lost. "What's the difference?"

"Oh, well, self-rising means it has a leavening agent and that's normally..."

The twins thought they'd be happy if they were Sirius Black about now. He never had to go out Order headquarters and endure such a horrible voice. Even Buckbeak's squawking was preferable to this.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Fresh Produce

"Look, fresh pineapples!" Molly's voice was delighted at the discovery. "It's Arthur's favorite. Oh, we must get one."

Standing before them was a neat pyramid of pineapples, their golden coats inviting the shopper to pluck it from its perch. They were even in different sizes with the miniature pineapples perched near the top. In fact, a shopper came by, grabbed a pineapple from the middle of the pyramid, and hurried off.

Molly was reaching forward to grab the best looking fruit, but Tonks quickly intercepted her as she envisioned the pyramid tumbling. "Let me get that, Molly."

Lupin looked on with approval as Tonks carefully removed a fruit form the pyramid and turned thinking she had averted disaster. Then everything seemed to go in slow motion.

Molly had moved her trolley so that Tonks had to bend her elbow sharply to put the pineapple into her basket.

Thwack!

Her elbow seemed to find the one pineapple that was critical to the structural integrity of the edifice of fruit. Tonks turned quickly and held the pineapple in place. She sighed in relief as the structure settled quietly. She turned with a smile, but failed to realize the back of her fuzzy cardigan had snagged the pointy coat of a small pineapple. She moved away from the pineapple pyramid.

Rumble, rumble.

They could hear the soft rumble of fruit as the pyramid began collapsing behind Tonks. Molly surprised herself by catching a pineapple before it fell while Lupin displayed an amazing ability to juggle fruit. Luckily Moody flew into immediate action and quickly called a freezing charm so that the fruit was suspended.

"Stand there and hide me while I fix this," ordered Tonks.

The three turned their backs to hide the pineapple stand as Tonks used her transformed wand to re-create the pyramid. Molly smiled nervously at the Muggle shoppers. Lupin merely nodded pleasantly and was completely unaware he had caught the eye of the blonde passing by. Moody tried a friendly smile that served the purpose of scaring away any remaining shoppers.

"Done." Tonks replaced her wand pin with a satisfied smile.

"You missed one," murmured Lupin. He caught sight of the miniature pineapple that was still snagged on the back of her cardigan. The static charge gave him a mild shock as he pulled it off and handed it to her.

"Oh, I thought it was just my imagination," explained Tonks as she tried to avoid turning pink. It was rather embarrassing to be the cause of the commotion. She tucked the small fruit away in her trolley and said, "I suppose I can give it to Wimples. For all I know he's spent his morning fighting soap bubbles."

"I'm sure he'll be able to vanquish his foe," assured Lupin. "You'll be able to check on him soon enough. I hope the twins are about finished as well. Let's go."

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Dairy.

The brunettes followed the twins once they had settled on the butter and eggs they needed. The redheads had made this the best shopping trip of their lives! The young men were tall, handsome and had an air of distinction about them. And they were so sweetly shy! Why, they had yet to ask for their phone number. The young women were certain the twins wouldn't part without it. These were their thoughts as they watched Fred and George conferring quietly.

"This is it. We've got the eggs and butter, we just need milk." Fred sighed in relief as he read the last item on their list.

"Here's the plan. You load up all the milk we need in my trolley. They'll think we need to put the same amount into yours since that's been our pattern, but instead, we make a mad dash for the checkout."

"A daring plan, but one I'm confident we can carry out. Let's do it."

The twins turned to the brunettes and said, "All we need is milk now."

The nasally voice squealed. "Oh, but you have to get the right kind."

The twins felt their hearts thumping to a stop. Surely milk was just milk in the Muggle world?

"Why there's whole milk or semi-skimmed milk or even skimmed milk or perhaps you might need buttermilk..."

The twins swiveled their necks to look at row upon row of milk jugs and sighed. While the wheezy voice droned on, George muttered, "Go for the whole milk. Surely Mum can spell it any way she wants after that?"

"Right, then. Back to Plan A." Fred began frantically loading up George's trolley with milk jugs while the explanation continued. "Keep talking, I'll just load a few of these first."

As they were being educated about the pastuerization process, George suddenly said, "Oy! That's Mum calling, we'd better go!"

Despite the weight of the trolley, he was soon out of sight with Fred close behind him adding, "Thanks so much, ladies, we've had a lovely time."

The girls sighed and the one with the melodic voice said, "Wasn't this morning the best?"

"It was like magic," sighed the nasally one.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's: Fresh Produce

Lupin knew he could count on Tonks to prevent Molly from adding fresh peas to her trolley, but he was distracted by Moody looming near a rather well endowed young blonde standing by the fresh greens.

Lupin smiled to himself at the thought of the Auror leering at the woman, but then he frowned when he remembered that Moody had lost a chess match to Tonks when she had been wearing a shirt with a similarly scooped neckline. He cleared his throat and quietly approached the Auror.

"Is there something of interest here, Alastor?"

"There's a strange noise. Don't you hear it?" Moody's eye was again whirling.

Lupin glanced around quickly but failed to spot any crustaceans in the vicinity. Then he recognized a familiar hiss and saw the water sprayers above the greens--at the same time Moody had. Lupin responded immediately by grabbing the nozzle of the sprayer and directing it away from Moody.

Unfortunately, the water erupted at that moment and spewed all over the buxom blonde standing next to them.

Lupin had an amazing ability to merely look disbelieving in the face of such disaster. He stared at the blonde who now had a noticeably wet t-shirt.

"Madam, I am so sorry," began Lupin before catching Tonks directing a glare his way. He wasn't quite sure why she was angry since she wasn't the one sporting a wet shirt, but somehow he knew he was dead meat for this fiasco.

"R.J.! Didn't I tell you not to play with the produce?" admonished the curly haired old woman as she swatted Lupin's shoulder with a bunch of carrots. Then, feeling guilty for abusing vegetables in this manner, Tonks tossed the bunch into her trolley to serve to Wimples later.

The blonde victim just looked at her front and emitted a throaty laugh. "It's all right, no real harm done, though normally I get paid for wearing a wet t-shirt."

"It's not that wet dear," said Molly as she stepped in and surreptitiously used her 'knitting needle' to dry off the young woman. "See, it looks all dry now."

"Oh, why, it is! Just like magic," chortled the woman. Then she smiled up at Lupin and spoke in her sultry voice while she wrote something on a piece of paper. "I like my men lean and long, so if you want to make it up to me sometime, just call. I'm Bambi."

She tucked the note in Lupin's cardigan pocket and sashayed away with confidence that she had his full attention.

"Moody, quit staring," hissed Molly at the Auror.

"Just verifying she wasn't a Death Eater in disguise," offered Moody in defense.

Lupin's attention, in the meantime, had been completely on Tonks. She had wasted no time in snatching the note out of his pocket and casting a small incendiary spell. Her actions made no sense to him.

"Tonks, you shouldn't have done that," began Lupin as the wisp of smoke disappeared. The incendiary spells were the most likely to attract attention.

"Oh? Were you intending on contacting that, that--"

"Bambi?" Lupin was puzzled by this assumption.

"Don't make me laugh. That name is as fake as her body parts, not to mention that blonde hair," asserted Tonks with a huff. "The tart needs to touch up her roots."

Before Lupin could reply, Tonks pushed her trolley forward and said, "We're done here; let's check out."

Moody followed along, but Molly hung behind just a moment with Lupin.

"Remus, three pieces of advice," began Molly. She held up her index finger, "One: don't accuse Tonks of doing anything wrong."

"But--"

Molly stopped him with a wag of her finger, "Two: declare you didn't find that woman at all attractive even if you're lying through your teeth."

"But--"

Molly snapped her fingers and Lupin fell quiet again. "Three: apologize to Tonks for upsetting her."

The Weasley matriarch made a regal departure even as she pushed her trolley away from him. Lupin mulled over her words as he and the twins converged at the checkout. He noticed the weary look in their eyes and quirked an eyebrow.

The twins simultaneously offered a one word explanation. "Women."

"Tell me about it," agreed Lupin. He glanced up at Tonks who was supervising the distribution of funds and thought about Molly's advice again. Then he realized that that they had a major failure in their plan.

Lupin pushed his trolley behind Moody's and asked, "How are we getting all this food to Order headquarters? I didn't think about making provisions for transport."

"Not to fear because I did," assured Moody. "Fletcher will be meeting us outside as soon as I give the signal.

"Dung's coming?" asked Lupin. He closed his eyes for a moment. Perfect. Tonks might be upset with Lupin, but she was enraged by Mundungus Fletcher and his groping hands.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Sainsbury's Exodus

The company stood outside of the store with shopping trolleys laden with their purchases.

"Just wait a moment," said Moody as he banged his cane on the sidewalk outside of the store.

Lupin managed to stand next to Tonks who was clearly still upset with him given the way she stiffened as he approached. But the Professor was determined to get on her good side with utmost haste before she discovered Dung.

Tonks squirmed as he approached. She felt a bit stupid for acting out of jealousy. It wasn't as if she couldn't have bovine-sized breasts if she wanted. And she knew better than to think Lupin had intentionally sprayed the woman. Still, her old insecurities had been awoken as she saw the confident way Bambi handled the entire episode. How would clumsy Nymphadora Tonks fare in comparison?

"Tonks, look, I'm sorry if I did anything to upset you. That's not the sort of woman who attracts me and you have my assurance that I had no intention of contacting her."

"And do you think I care?" she said curtly.

"My mistake." Lupin was taken aback by her tone and hurt by the implication. He moved away from her quickly to talk to the twins.

Tonks bit her lip. She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth but was at a loss at how to approach Lupin now. Then a red double-decker bus suddenly pulled into the parking lot and stopped in front of them.

"Aye, mates, need a lift?"

Tonks felt her hackles rising. Mundungus Fletcher! They had seen each other since the first Order meeting, but never had she been this close to revenge. This would be a good way to get her mind off of her dismal situation with Lupin.

She waited patiently as Moody helped Molly onto the bus and Lupin helped the twins get their purchases loaded. She was last in line, but that was fine with her. It gave her more time to savor the payback she would deal to the lecherous thief.

Once her trolley was empty, however, the twins jumped on the bus and quickly closed the doors shouting to Fletcher, "Go, go!"

The bus roared out of the parking lot leaving Tonks and Lupin standing on the sidewalk. Beside them were two young ladies with chocolate brown hair who sighed mournfully as the bus vanished from sight.

- - - - - - - - - -

Tonks began walking off in a huff, Lupin had set up Dung's timely escape, she just knew it! It would take the bus some time to reach Order headquarters in the London traffic, so she had no need to disapparate. As soon as she rounded the corner, she dropped the gray curls for pink hair. She left her wand as a pin on her cardigan and told herself not to use it on her shadow.

Lupin had been following her and his long stride allowed him to quickly catch up with her. He said not a word when she quickened her pace, but merely adjusted his gait to match hers.

Well, it was good he was quiet because Tonks was ready to blast him for keeping Fletcher out of her range. Or if he said a single word to her about her tantrum. Or having hurt him with her callous remark. She didn't need him to point out her childish outburst. Or how jealous her behavior had been because it wasn't as if she thought of Lupin as hers. Hers? Her Remus Lupin? Her step faltered and she missed the crack in the pavement.

But Lupin was there to catch her when she stumbled. His arms went around her silently to prevent her fall. Because of the heavy pedestrian traffic, he pulled her with him to lean against the wall of the building to give her time to catch her balance. Still, Lupin remained silent.

He was about to move his arms away when he felt Tonks clutch at his arms. He almost missed the soft whisper of her voice.

"I'm sorry, Remus."

Lupin closed his eyes as he felt Tonks relax her posture and lean into him a little. For a moment he wanted to relish the feeling of holding her in his arms, so he tightened his embrace. They both needed the contact as a salve for their insecurities.

For just one moment, Lupin wanted to pretend that he could hold her gently like this whenever he wished. But it was not a dream he could see realized, so he dampened the impulse that made him want to press his cheek against her hair, to murmur to her that she was the only woman he could possibly want.

Instead, he let the moment end. Lupin gave a gentle squeeze to her shoulder and moved to her side. "Look, I think that Molly can supervise the unloading of groceries better than we can. Why don't we stop at your flat for a bite to eat and to check on your laundry? You don't want Wimples to be swimming in a sea of bubbles."

His remark earned a chuckle from Tonks. She shook her head and said, "Professor, I know that you're trying to divert me from going after Dung."

"Is it working?" asked Lupin with that air of boyish charm he was unaware he wielded.

"Come on, let's save the bunny from being bubbled."

Tonks smiled up at Lupin, then she entwined her arm into his to pull him along. And as she felt the day brighten for being so close to him, Tonks acknowledged a disturbing thought. Her crush on the Professor was getting a bit out of hand.

End of Chapter

Minor edits.

Author Notes:
The idea of wizards going shopping at a Muggle supermarket has been teasing me for some time, so here it is. Sainsbury's is a chain found in the UK, although I'm sure they don't carry the same brands as found in the USA. Still, I couldn't resist the Allen's Spinach with the Popeye the Sailor cartoon or the Jolly Green Giant.

The gumshoe spell is not canon nor do I have any real idea about how wizards deal with groceries. But I thought that Fred and George would be charmingly clueless shoppers and couldn't resist torturing them a bit. I love the twins, though.

Moody inserted himself into the story and I know better than to argue with him.

Thanks for reading and continued reviews. Again, slow progress, but it's the ups-and-downs of relationships.