Chapter 12

Sometimes You Need To Fight

Frost watched the frenzy in the caverns as excited programmers lined up to show the council their best work.  News had spread fast since yesterday when the challenge was announced.  Even though he could only understand half of what they were saying he could understand why an excited El had ripped him away from Ra and Trans.  This was a chance for her to get recognized for being truly special.

"There's an environment like you wouldn't believe."  A boy was telling El.

"Yeah, I saw, he figured the code for rain, so you can battle the elements."  El added, but mine's still better.

Frost watched as three men entered the cavern.  One he figured was a council member, because the other two were carrying a foldable table and chair.  Once they made it to the end of the cavern the council member stood on the chair and waited for silence.

"We need three programs: a jump program, a combat zone with weapons, and another combat zone with formatted agents.  Today we will review the jump programs, tomorrow the combat zones, and Thursday the combat with agents.  If you are chosen for one of the three programs you can not try for the others.  Thank you."

"So?"  Frost asked El.

"My jumps are kinda crappy, I'll come back tomorrow."  She replied.

He nodded his head as he followed her out.  "This is a big deal, huh?"  He asked her.

"Huge, I mean people aren't allowed to combat unless for training.  I mean I always thought the one was like a fairy tale, but two of them is just awesome."

"I meant for you."

"Oh, yeah.  Well, I love being on a ship and all, but I would rather work here in Zion a as central programmer."

Frost looked around the cavern full of people.  Ivy was rushing toward them.

"So, El?"  She asked.

"Tomorrow, today's jumps."

"Oh, hi, Frost."  She said flirtatiously.

Frost smiled, "Ivy, what's up?"

"Nothing," she glanced at El and smiled.  "El, I'm going to borrow Frost, okay?"

El opened her mouth to object, but Ivy had already grabbed his hand and was pulling him away.  El closed her mouth and sighed.  She turned and back trudged back to her suite.

"Faith?"

Faith turned to see Neo following her.  "Neo, what's wrong?"

"Wrong, nothing I just wanted to talk."

"About?"  He didn't seem to know, but she got the hint.  "You're scared, though not completely doubtful, just confused."

"How?"

"I've been there."

"I'm just getting so much pressure, does it ever get easier?"

"No."  He hadn't expected that.  "Look if you want comfort go back to your girlfriend.  I've been through hell and back, the only advice I can give is tha being bad isn't as fun as it seems."

Neo was confused.  "But you said…"

"What?  That I'm the slayer, the one out here is different, than the slayer in there."  With that she walked away.

He turned to go back to Trinity, when someone slammed into him.  He looked down at the girl with tears streaming down her face.  "I'm sorry."

"Whatever."  She huffed as she roughly pushed him away.  He watched as she pushed by Faith. 

"El?"  Faith called after the girl.  "El, what did he do?"  Neo watched as Faith ran after the girl.

Frost knew Ivy liked him, but it wasn't until she led him into a small empty cavern that he realized how much.  She pushed him up against the stony wall and began kissing him.  As a vampire women were always throwing themselves at him, but he used to use them, drain them, and toss them aside.  He knew her intentions were pure, but he didn't know what to do with those intentions.  She pulled away for air and stared at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I…I", he pushed her away.  "I can't."  He ran, not caring or knowing where he went he just had to get away.  Smack!  He looked up to see, he had to run into a large pale skinned man.  The man pushed Frost back.  He fell onto his butt.

"Fang, leave him."  Ra's voice called out.

"Fang?"  Frost asked.

The man opened his mouth to reveal enlarged canines.

 Frost gasped, "how?"

"I'm pure, like the ones you killed."  Fang told him, his voice sounded horse and wispy.  "Deacon Frost, so I hear a wolf pulled you out."

Frost stood, "so?"

The man laughed, it was a weird sound like a chuckle and a cough combined.  "So you're not the man I thought you would be."

"Wait, I didn't kill a pure blood."

"You have before, before the matrix."

Frost didn't understand, "I'm only one hundred."

"Are you sure or is that what the matrix told you?"

Ra ran up and glared at Fang.  "Why did you tell him?'  Ra scolded.

Fang laughed again.  "He has no idea who he is."

"And it should have stayed that way!"

Frost glanced at Ra.  "You know about my past and you weren't going to tell me?"

"Frost, you can become a better person."  Ra told him.

"But what about my past?"  Frost grew angry.  "Don't I deserve to know that?"

"You should be happy, lucky that you don't know you're past," Ra yelled.  "To not remember the things you did, the lives you destroyed."

Fang snuck away with a smirk on his face.  Frost and Ra didn't notice, as Frost spoke, "I don't understand."

Ra refused to look up at Frost.  "You were put in the matrix, not born in a pod."

"How do you know?"

"I knew you before."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because all of you, Faith, Oz, the other changelings need to discover who you are on your own."

"And our past?"

"Is the past."

"Who are you to decide this?"

"I remember my past and I hate who I was."

"And how do you know I'll feel the same?"

"I saw you with El, what does your heart say about her?  Or about faith or Ivy?  Your human side is coming back.  Do you really want that to mesh with your vampiric half?  As a master vamp could you have loved a human with out turning her?"

Frost had no reply.

"If you need it simplified, I'm older by 1000 years, so I'm just doing my duty as your elder."

"But if what…" he glanced around to see that Fang was gone, "Fang said is true I wouldn't listen to you any way."

"I'm not pure, I'm half, so yeah you are going to listen to me."  Ra said sternly.

"So you are really not going to tell me?"

"No, but I can help you get your memory back."

"How?"

"Meditation."

Frost huffed, "figures."

"You always were restless."  Ra said as he walked away.

"You would know wouldn't you."  Frost yelled after him.

Faith found El curled up on her bed facing the wall.  "El?"

El didn't move, but she did sniffle quietly.

"El, what happened?"

"Ivy," she whispered.

Faith realized what was happening.  "El, look at me."  El rolled over.  "Do you really like him?"

El nodded her head as she wiped her tears with her sleeve.

"Well, then sometimes you need to fight."

El's eyes lit up.  "What?  But?"

"If you really like him then tell him, show him, do something."

"Faith, why, you said he's dangerous."

"Sure, well, he's, look, vampires in general are dangerous.  But I'm beginning to realize that they aren't as dangerous as in the matrix.  If you really like him go for it."

El sat and began ruffling her hair.  "Are you sure?"

"El, if you think he's worth it, go get him."

El hugged Faith and then bolted from the room.

As Neo made his way back to Trinity he bumped into the new captain of the Apollo's Chariot, Oz.  "Sorry," Neo said as he tried to move away, but Oz grabbed his arm.

"Neo, what did you say to Faith?"

Neo pulled his arm away.  "I tried to talk to her and she snapped at me."

"Faith has been through a lot if you push her too much she'll lash out.  She's not used to being a role model."

"Why?"  Neo asked.  "Why shouldn't she be pushed?  We're at war."

"That's different, she's an excellent warrior, but emotional connections weigh her down.  Anger, rage, fear is all good for fighting, but what you want from her.  She doesn't understand that, no one's ever truly looked up to her without a little bit of fear, anyway."

Neo nodded, finally understanding.

Oz put his hand on Neo's shoulder.  "We all have a burden to bare, I don't envy you two.  It's going to be a hard war for both of you.  Just take comfort in the fact that you have someone who truly understands your burden."  With that Oz left him as Trinity rejoined him.

"What's wrong?"  She asked.

He grasped her hand and kissed it.  "Nothing."  He caught a spark in her eyes and a tiny twinge of a smile.  He smiled as he pulled her out of the crowded cavern.

El ran from cavern to cavern searching for Frost or Ivy, figuring where ever Ivy was Frost would also be.  She was beginning to fear that they were in Ivy's room, when she spotted Ivy with Kale cursing angrily.  El smiled slightly and then she spotted Frost talking to Oz.  She carefully made her way over to them catching part of the conversation.

"Oz, I just don't know how to handle this."

"Calm down."  Oz touched Frost's shoulder supportively.  "What happened?"

"Ivy, she just jumped me.  I can't handle it."

"What sex?"  Trans asked confused.

Oz slapped him over the back of the head.  "Human lust, moron," He glared at Trans, before turning back to Frost.  "Did you tell her you're not interested?"

"No, I freaked and ran."

"Was she forcefull?"

"Completely, I just…" he sighed.  "In there humans either feared or worshipped me.  They weren't the ones jumping me.  I was a master vamp I had the control."    

"Tell her you're not ready."  Trans suggested.

"It's just I don't feel anything for her."

"Oh."

El who was standing behind a pillar listening, smiled.  Maybe she wouldn't have to fight Ivy for Frost after all.  But how was she going to convince Frost to find her attractive.  They were at war, so no one really cared about who was with whom as long as it was within reason.  But could a guy as old as Frost like her a petite 17 year old?  She was about to walk over toward them when she her name, she froze. 
"And El?"  Frost started.

"What of her?"  Oz asked.

"I can tell she adores me, more than that."

Trans chuckled.  "She has a huge crush on him."

(El felt her ears get warm and her face turn pink.)

"How do you feel?"  Oz asked.

"Not sure, she's great and so hot in that cat suit…"

"But?"  Trans asked.

"I don't think I'm ready for that right now, a relationship."

(El didn't want to hear anymore, and she bolted.)

"But maybe she's worth it."  Oz said.

"Maybe," Frost agreed.  "Hey, I wanted to ask you, what do you know about Ra?"

"You mean other than being an old vampire?"

"Yeah, how long has he been out here?"

"No idea, he doesn't talk about his past, who he is, what he knows, the man he was, he's a sealed vault."

"That's not comforting."

"No, but he told the council that he will only share his story with the right people."

"Huh."

Oz nodded his head.

"So who are the right people?"  Frost asked with a smile.

Oz smiled.

Ra knew what Frost was going through, but as he watched him he also knew that telling Frost would expose him.  Ra couldn't do that, it would tell Frost who he was .  And Ra didn't believe Frost needed to know the truth about himself or Ra.  Ra knew things that no changelings knew, things they needed to find out for themselves.  He just hoped they would discover it in time.