How to get rid of Fullmetal Alchemist characters?

by I'm hooked on anime crack

These short stories or if you can even call them that will tell you ways of getting rid of a certain character.

2. Alphonse Elric

How to get rid of Alphonse Elric in a few easy steps.

First you have to find a genetically altered kitten because you can't use a real kitten that's just cruel.

Then find a kitten preferably a large one.

Get Alphonse's attention while he is coming towards you, put the genetically altered kitten into the canon.

Light the fucking thing, when the kitten goes flying Alphonse will run towards it crying.

Watch as the kitten flies through the air and Alphonse is only paying attention to the kitten. He starts to run towards the kitten, and he doesn't see the tree in front of him then smashing into it.

The kitten lands on the ground safely. +subliminal message+ NO ANIMALS WHERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY, THANK YOU SO ALL YOU FUCKING ANIMAL ACTAVIST GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK.