A/N Just in case it might be a trigger for anyone…this part all takes place in the hospital.

Opening his eyes felt like an impossible task. Someone must have tied lead weights to his lids. Eddie concentrated hard. Where the hell was he? There was someone there, with him. Maybe. Maybe it was in his head. No, he heard someone talking to him more than once. He can feel Buck, but where is he, and why can he find him?

It felt like his eyes were open, but…no, it was too dark. Guess not. He tried to lift a hand instead. Come on, body, move. It felt like he raised his hand, but maybe that was in his head, too. He tried again, tried to move some part of himself. It must have worked this time because every nerve-ending he had lit up like a neon sign.

Eddie lay still, trying to bring the world into focus. The room was dim, fuzzy around the edges, but he recognized the smells and the noises - a hospital. He tried again to lift his right hand, but it felt so heavy. Just the small act brought another wave of pain, and his eyes closed. What happened? Why was he in a hospital?

Buck came awake with a start, jerking his head up from the mattress at Eddie's side. Eddie's eyes were open, his gaze on the ceiling. Buck stood and leaned over the other man with his heart climbing into his throat. He smoothed a trembling hand over the familiar dark hair. Sweat dampened the strands, and subtle tremors were shaking Eddie's body. Buck released his grip for a moment and pulled the blankets up closer to Eddie's chin. Then he took hold of his hand again.

"Hey… there you are," he whispered, trying to give what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Tears stung his eyes, and one slipped free, hurtling down to land on Eddie's chin. A couple more followed without his permission. "Sorry about that," he mumbled, wiping the tiny drops away from Eddie's face.

Eddie blinked at him, his eyes not quite focused. "You're here," he whispered, his voice scratchy with disuse. Thank God.

Buck laughed, the other man's image blurring. He turned and wiped his eyes against his shirt sleeve. "So are you." His smile was gentle and warm.

"Mouth… dry," he muttered.

Buck reached for the pitcher by the bed. Pouring just a little in the cup, he slipped the bendy straw between Eddie's lips. "Slowly, or you'll throw it back up," he cautioned.

"Don't… remember… much," he whispered.

"That's okay. You need to rest right now. Concentrate on getting better. We can remember the details later," Buck promised, smoothing his hair.

"You stay…me," he muttered, already slipping back under the weight of the drugs and pain.

"Always." Forever.

Hours later, after Dr. Carter had a chance to examine him, he pronounced Eddie had turned a corner. People came and went, nurses, doctors, Bobby and the others, and Buck kept his promise, staying right there. Eddie slept most of the time, and when he was awake, there was an unfocused distance in his eyes. Dr. Carter told Buck it would fade. The damage to Eddie's body had taken a toll, and it would take time for everything to come back online.

Buck never tried to make him talk, just sat with him through it all, alternating between holding Eddie's hand and resting his throbbing head on the side of the bed. He passed the point of getting the headache to go away, along with the aches in his body from sitting in a chair for hours. The days of waiting were taking a toll on him, too, but it was no less than he deserved. The only thing keeping him going was talks with Christopher at night on video and knowing Eddie was on the mend, even if he didn't look like it.

XXXXXXXXXX

When Eddie woke again, the room was bathed in soft sunlight through the blinds. He felt the warmth on his body and lay there for a moment, trying to get his bearings. The dull, constant drumbeat of pain thrummed from head to toes, but the sun felt good – such a simple thing to be grateful for.

"Hey, there, it's so good to see you awake."

His eyes flickered to the voice, and he saw a nurse checking his vitals and making notes on a clipboard.

"I'm Jenny, one of your nurses. It's okay if you're a little confused, but you're doing fine. You've been moved out of ICU, and we'll take good care of you."

"Jenny…" was that smoker's rasp in his voice? His eyes searched the room. "Buck..."

Jenny patted his hand. "He's right outside; I'll get him." She stepped into the hall, where Buck jerked a halt to his pacing. "What is it?"

"He's awake and asking for you."

And it was like the sun coming out. Jenny thought when he leveled her a brilliant smile. The man was dead on his feet, but that smile was… holy cow.

"Okay," he murmured, easing past her to the door.

"Ring the buzzer if you need anything."

Buck closed the door behind him, pressing his back to it as he met Eddie's eyes. The sun was shining in the window, casting a soft glow over the bottom half of the bed but casting shadows over the rest. He lifted his gaze further and met Eddie's.

"Hey, Buck."

He sounded a little like a rusty hinge, but it was the best music in the world to Buck's ears. Eddie lifted his hand, and Buck was there to catch and hold it as he sat down. He stared at the other man for a long moment, emotions warring with each other on which one was let out first. Nope, not time that yet. He blinked rapidly and let out a soft huff – part laugh and part sob. He pressed his forehead against the back of Eddie's hand, shaking his head. Now, he was at a loss for words, afraid that he might break down and spill it all in a landslide if he said anything. The days of waiting had flayed his outer layer away, leaving him vulnerable and exposed.

"Are you…okay?" Eddie asked, his voice a growl.

Buck's small laugh was soft and wet with tears as he lifted his head, swiping his free hand over his eyes. He leaned forward, his face inches from Eddie's, and met the warm brown gaze he wasn't sure he'd see again. "Am I okay? I couldn't be any better."

Eddie frowned at that. "Why are you crying?" Tell me, let me help, you look so lost.

Clearly, his memories and thought processes weren't all back yet. "I am so damn glad to see your eyes and hear your voice. I've been in hell for almost a week. You woke up a couple of times, but you weren't here with me yet." And I was so scared.

Eddie's eyes moved over Buck's face, clearly not understanding.

"It's okay. It will come back. Don't worry about anything right now except getting better." He repeated the same thing he told him the last time he was awake.

Eddie searched his features, taking in the lines of exhaustion etched into Buck's forehead and around his eyes. His birthmark seemed darker against his tanned skin. Eddie frowned. Buck looked like he was on his last legs, but those exhausted blue eyes held a world of softness. Eddie felt the tendrils snake around him as if it were Buck's arms.

"You look bad," he mumbled. But I'm so glad to see you.

Buck chuckled and nodded. "Sitting next to a hospital bed for days on end will do that to you. I'd stink, too, if the nurses hadn't insisted I take breaks."

"I've been here a week?"

"Almost. Don't start worrying. Christopher has been between Carla, Pepa, and Abuelita. He's doing fine, just worried about you. I talk to him every night, and he's talked to you a few times even though you weren't awake to hear him."

"How he's doing?"

"A lot better than me. I lost it when I went home to tell him what happened. I think it would have been better for him if I was the one that got shot."

Eddie turned his head back in Buck's direction. "Don't ever say that."

Buck sighed. "He needs you." Much more than me.

"And I need you." Comes the raspy whisper in return.

And damn it if that comment didn't catch Buck in the crosshairs. Eddie lifted the fingers resting on the back of Buck's big hand and touched the other man's cheek. Overcome, Buck moved the last couple of inches and pressed his forehead to Eddie's, too exhausted to hold anything else back.

Eddie lay very still, feeling Buck's warmth as sure as he felt the sun on his legs. Something wasn't quite right here, but he couldn't get his brain to process it right then. Instead, he pressed his lips to the dark curls, breathing in the familiar scent of Buck's shampoo, and relished the feel of being with the only person he loved as much as his son.

XXXXXXXXXX

Later that afternoon, one of the other nurses ordered Buck out to stretch his legs, so Bobby took over next to the bed.

"Hey, Cap," Eddie smiled weakly.

"You look a thousand times better than the last time I saw you," Bobby grinned.

"I'm glad I can't see myself," Eddie joked.

"Looks like I'm just in time for lunch. Here, let me help you," Bobby offered. The man's calm, reassuring presence soothed Eddie. He opened a pack of Jell-O, unwrapped the spoon, and gave it to Eddie. Then he held the cup close enough for the younger man to reach while so he could eat.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah. I didn't at first."

"Understandable. You'll have plenty of time to think about it later. Right now, you need to put all your energy into your recovery. Have you talked to Christopher?"

"Oh, yeah. Buck's had him on video a few times. He's been such a trooper. He wanted to come to see me."

"I know he understands why he can't. Did you know Buck was the one who told him what happened? And then made all the arrangements to have him cared for?"

"He told me he went to see him. I didn't know about him making arrangements."

Bobby nodded. "He's taken care of everything since you got out of surgery. I'm not sure there's anything that boy can't do."

"Has he left here at all?" Eddie asked, thinking he already knew the answer. He handed the spoon back to Bobby.

Bobby set the items back on the tray then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "No. He hasn't been more than a few feet from this room. I think he only does that because the nurses make him. I tried to get him to leave early on, so did Maddie. He wouldn't do it."

Eddie sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Did he say why?"

"No. He won't talk about any of it, not even to me. I'm worried about him."

"Me, too. He looks worse than I've ever seen him. I think he's blaming himself, but I don't know why."

Bobby nodded slowly. "I think so, too. For something that isn't his fault, but you know him as well as I do – he'll take on that burden even if it isn't his to carry."

"I'm worried about what will happen when it gets too heavy." And if I'm not there when it does.

XXXXXXXXXX

When Eddie woke again, it was night. This time his mind felt clearer, and he lay there in the quiet, listening to the machines and hearing the soft, even breaths coming from Buck, who was asleep, his head on the mattress next to Eddie's waist. His memories of the shooting were coming back clearer, in color this time – the veil of time and sleep helping to clear away the wispy fog.

Very carefully, he lifted his hand and laid it on the top of Buck's head. He studied the beloved face. Even sleeping, Buck looked like he was at war. New, heavy lines were etched into the skin at the corners of his eyes and mouth, and he looked like he carried the weight of the world. And he'd been sleeping in a chair at the bedside for days. Eddie felt so relieved he was there with him, but he worried, too.

His eyes drifted closed. Every time they did, he kept seeing Buck's terrified face in the ambulance when he was leaning on his chest to staunch the flow of blood, telling him to hold on, that they were so close. The technicolor image of blood smeared on Buck's face and clothes was rivaled only by the absolute terror of thinking that a bullet had also found the younger man. His hand tightened reflexively, catching in Buck's soft hair.

Buck's head shot up. "What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. Are you okay? Do you need something?" Buck rolled his neck and shoulders, trying to relieve some of the stiffness.

"I'm a little fuzzy on the past few days," Eddie said, trying to be funny.

Buck gave a slight grin. "Fuzzy, eh? Wonder why?"

"You've been here the whole time." It was a statement, not a question.

Buck met his gaze squarely. "Yes." I couldn't leave you.

"I don't understand. You're dead on your feet." Just let me look at you.

"This probably isn't the time to talk about it," Buck shrugged, looking down.

"Why not?"

"You don't need to be worrying about me. Just concentrate on getting better."

"Telling me not to worry about you is like telling me not to worry about Christopher."

Buck met Eddie's eyes before his gaze slid away, looking everywhere else. This was the moment he'd been dreading. Facing his terrors, facing the fact that he stood there and just let…

"Evan."

Buck stubbornly kept his gaze on the bed, crossing his arms over his chest, the very picture of defense.

"You've been here for days on end…"

"Give it up. I'm not leaving until I can take you home." Buck dropped his arms and met Eddie's gaze head-on as if daring him to contradict him.

Eddie didn't bat an eye. "What do you think will happen if you leave me here?"

"We'll never know because I'm not leaving here without you." I'm keeping you safe.

"Buck…"

"No, Eds. Now how about a few more bites of food?"

A/N I've gone over this more times than I can count looking for ways to make it better. I guess that's the curse of every author – never thinking it's just right. I think I got all the typos, too, but any mistakes are my own. Again, thank you so much to everyone who stops to read this. I appreciate you and your time when you have so many other stories available.