Dedicated to my very best friend in the whole world! (You know who you are D) Thank you for inspiring me to continue this story!

Disclaimer: I do not even remotely own anything LotR. (Oh, you know what I mean)

Little Girl 8: Closer to you

I tilted my head heavenwards and took a deep breath. The cold air filling my lungs, making me feel alive. If I concentrated hard enough, I could almost see the 'lookout point' in the distance. My spirits were sinking by the minute as the thought of my duties caught up with me. My father's burial. A certain look in Haldir's eyes, when he glanced back at me, showed he could tell what was on my mind.

"The loss of a dear one can rip once heart out." I had not expected him to say anything. I honestly felt a little shocked. His words kept echoing through my mind. So true, it certainly felt like a piece of my heart was gone and nothing in the world could replace it. It seemed he knew the feeling himself.

"Have you lost someone then? Because when you spoke you got this look in your eyes like you know the feeling." I think my voice quivered a little more than I would've liked. Haldir had struck me as very personal, maybe even a little secretive, and that certain things were not to be spoken of with others. I wondered if I had made him uncomfortable by asking such a question.

He glanced away for a moment, looking thoughtful, and perhaps a bit sad. A cold wind from the east was picking up, sweeping over the long grass around us. I pulled my cloak closer to my body, and waited.

"Yes." He spoke it softly as he looked directly into my eyes. I cringed slightly under this stoic elf's scrutinizing stare.

At the same time I was a little shocked by actually getting Haldir, the immensely proud and stuck up Marchwarden, to answer such an intimate question, that all I could do was look back at him. He must have taken my speechlessness to mean that I expected him to say more, so he continued his answer. I almost fell off my horse in utter shock.

"Well, not really lost them in the sense of them going to the Halls of Mandos." He paused briefly, sucking in a deep breath. It was obviously a sore subject.

"But they did leave for The Undying Lands. I was fairly young at the time, but as the oldest of three brothers, I was the one left with the responsibility to take care of us. It was not an easy task, but what bothers me the most to this day is that I can't remember my mothers face." He finished off, and an uncomfortable silence filled the air around us. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.

A strange feeling hit me as moments flew on by. I realized what had happened just minutes ago. Me, Melian, a simple gypsy girl, had managed to get an elf, which took pride in maintaining his appearance more that anything, to open up. It wasn't much, I realized that, but for someone where showing your feelings in the open was almost a sign of weakness, this was like getting a peak inside a forbidden and inner sanctuary. It was almost too much to wrap my head around. Questions started to form in my mind. Questions I desperately wanted to ask but was not sure I should. I could feel words forming at the back of my throat as the silence were once again becoming too unnerving for me to handle. My tongue could not be silenced.

"So, you really miss them, huh?" My breath caught in my throat almost immediately. 'What was that?' I asked myself, incredulous over my own words. That was certainly not one of the questions that had been whirling around in my head with numerous others. At that moment I mentally berated myself as I wanted nothing more than to disappear from the face of Middle Earth. Knowing that it probably wasn't going to do me much good, I also slipped in a prayer that he hadn't heard my question, just for good measures. 'Right, of course his elvish hearing will fail every time you ask a stupid question:' I commented sarcastically to myself.

I glanced up at the horizon, and I realized that my lucky star must have been shining exceptionally bright that day, because before he could answer, we had reached the camp. Apparently, as soon as we had come into view, everyone had started to make their way over to us. I and Haldir quickly found ourselves in the middle of a large circle of both human and elves.

My eyes scanned the crowd of people around me, desperately searching for the right words. Despair seemed to linger in the very air I was taking my deep breaths from. Hundreds of words formed in my mind, comforting words, and words of wisdom. I tried to form them with my mouth, but they fell silent as I could not make myself speak them aloud. I prayed the Valar to give me the strength I needed to comfort my people.

'My people.' the thought made me snap back to reality.

I looked around again. The people that had taken me into their warmth with open hearts now looked to me for help in this time of sorrow. I had to pull myself together. I had to be strong for them. Tears started to form in my eyes as I noticed a little girl gazing at me with tear stained cheeks, and eyes so sad it seemed the weight of the world was on her shoulders. I knew this girl. I knew her parents. Suddenly it felt like someone had sent a flying kick right to my guts. Memories of her parents lying amongst the slain passed in my minds eye. It sent me straight back to a place that nowadays only existed in my nightmares.

I didn't even notice that my tears had started to flow freely, because my mind was somewhere far away from present day. For what seemed like the millionth time, I was back in that forest, running, always running. But then something completely unexpected happened, something that had never happened before. I saw my mother. I just knew it was her, like an inner primeval instinct. She appeared to me clear as day, and she was so beautiful. Her slightly curly brown hair flew around her, her blue eyes sparkled with comforting serenity, and a small smile played along her lips. I longed to be near her, to be able to wrap my arms around her and cry my pain away, but whenever I moved closer she got further and further away.

A strong hand clasped my right shoulder and immediately pulled me out of my 'daydream'. I was almost surprised when I finally noticed my own sobbing. My breaths were short and ragged, until my throat felt so tight that I couldn't breathe at all. I quickly dismounted my horse and started to make way through the crowd, all the while gasping for air and people giving me concerned and curious looks. Tears clouded my sight as my feet carried me aimlessly away. I just had to get away so I could sort myself out, because as of right now I had no control whatsoever. She had been so vivid, so real. 'Too real' I concluded.

Sliding down against a tree some distance away, I rubbed my eyes to see better, and deemed myself far away enough to be out of earshot. Well, if I didn't count the elves of course, but I really didn't care if they heard me as long as my people didn't get to hear or se the theatrical drama of 'girl has mental breakdown'. I let a half-hearted laugh slip in spite of myself. That only seemed to get the ball rolling and soon after I was wailing like a little child once more.

Being so caught up in my own emotional breakdown, I didn't notice I had been followed. So when a large shadow stood before me, I let out a stifled shriek, but it quickly died down when I saw who it was.