MONKEY IN A BOTTLE

By: Insomnia's Child

AN: Because I love my readers so much, I decided to update sooner (I know this isn't fast according to your standards, but hey, if I'm loaded with schoolwork, you have to realize that this is the fastest update I could manage) Answers to the reviews are here:

Patto-chan – Yeah, we all pity Goku for being deprived of food! (cries) Anyhow, don't remind me about school. It only makes me long for Christmas vacation! And that's like, months away…:P

Nikikeya-chan – Thanks. I love Goku too! (waves Goku banner)

Doublelynn – Oh, about those camel swear words, well, that's just the result of me being weird. Lol. I thought that if there's a "Holy cow" swear word, then there's also "Holy camel". I think you're the only one, asides from me, who find them funny. Oh, well, I have a weird sense of humor... (grins)

Vivid Mirage – Thanks a bunch for that awesome review. (blushes) I'm glad you like my idea of Hakuryu turned carpet. And yeah, I can't imagine our favorite Sanzo-ikkou being honest and obedient forever. Where's the fun in that:D

KotoYuri – Thanks a lot:D

Azamiko – I'm sorry for misleading you into thinking that this is a Sanzo/Goku fic…(The genre is Action/Adventure) I really didn't mean it…And thanks for the review… :D

End of Grace – Thanks. I'm glad you like it. I'll try my best do develop their friendship further. Also, thanks for understanding my problems about school…:D

Wolflover – Thanks! Really? Well, I envy you! I'd do anything to skip school! Hehe…

Chapter 3:

"Ah, Konzen…How nice of you to drop by."

This is the throne room, the most important and most respected place, aside from the worship room, in the palace of Tougenkyo. It is remarkable for its grand walls of astonishing gold and silver, with solid gleaming floor that one would have been afraid to step on for the fear of dirtying it, and of course, the huge painting of the Sultan and his wife which was made by the legendary Ali Ahmed himself. But more than the obvious display for wealth, it also doubled as the place where visiting royalties mingled with each other, where villagers and townsfolk bury their problems and ask guidance and great counsel from the Sultan and the Queen, then afterwards; giving them offering for what little time Their Highnesses could offer them.

But of course, when the Young Prince, or more commonly known as His Highness, was there, it was an entirely different matter, and what peaceful atmosphere an individual could have savored in the throne room instantly dissipated the moment they felt the dangerous aura coming from the blonde Prince. It wasn't like they could take the blame on him, even though they wanted to, since more often than not his mood swings was the cause of the meddling of affairs that could only be made by the Queen. And well, who would dare be mad at Her Majesty?

"Do I even want to know why my presence is wanted here?"

There was an extremely dangerous look coming from Sanzo that he only reserved for his aunt alone, and when he spoke to her, the guards standing by the throne room felt a shiver running down their spine and it took all of years of hard training to maintain their stoic composures. They envied Queen Kanzeon and whatever qualities she possessed that enabled her to survive through this encounter. But then again, she might have been used to it by now, assuming that Sanzo had been acting this way towards her all her life.

"Do I need a reason to spend some quality time with my favorite nephew?"

This is, of course, the one and only Queen Kanzeon. A woman who seemed to be born with such grace and came from a very wealthy royal family, you would be surprised at how different she is from other royalty. In many ways, she was liberated (that probably explained her rather showy state of dressing) and never hesitant to speak about her true feelings, most unlike other Sultans' wives who let their husbands' power and authority overwhelm them. The way she treated Sultan Jiroushin like her personal secretary, it clearly displayed her dominant spirit. Although she may not have done much for contributing to the Kingdom's good and welfare, she was widely famous for her creepy smile, weird outlook on others and of course, the culprit for Sanzo's shouting matches.

Sanzo could have given away all his wealthy possessions just so he could bring his fist up to his aunt's smiling face. Not only had she called him Konzen again (His father was the only one who got away from calling him his old name), but the way she acted around him made him feel like he was just another toy whom she could call upon when she needed him and the last thing this Prince ever wanted was to feel like one.

As he stood there staring, or more likely, glaring at her, he was very well aware of her mocking voice and the scent of lotus flowers that was always associated with the her, which didn't help relax his mind. "Yes, because I have no intention of talking to you if it isn't of utmost importance," was his curt reply.

"Of course. I see you still have your stubborn nature, Konzen. But don't worry about that, I'm sure that's the exact attitude girls are craving nowadays," Queen Kanzeon told him, a smile painting on her red lips. The message she wanted to say was very well expressed through this action. It clearly said: Find a bride.

The room would have been forever bathed in tension, due to the expressions on both royals' faces; Sanzo with an expression of immense hatred, and Kanzeon with an amused smile, had it not been for Goku. He, alongside with an unusually decent-mannered Gojyo and a proper Hakkai, had managed to show their respects to the Queen without throwing a fit (We're talking about Gojyo and Goku here, since Hakkai did not fall into the Noisy category), had it not been for, ahhhh, yes, Goku the genie himself.

Clearly not getting the private, er, moment the two relatives were basking in, and having been bored to death after the grand room no longer seemed to capture his attention, he stepped between the two and tugged at the hem of Sanzo's pants. "Hey, Sanzo," he whined as he innocently gazed at those narrowed violent eyes. "Are we finished here yet? I'm getting bored. And I'm really hungry."

Driven with anger about the monkey disrupting his glaring session, he turned to him and whacked him with the edge of his sheathed sword, which promptly managed to make the brunette land on his rear on the hard floor, perhaps in surprise, for he never expected Sanzo to do such a thing, since he was his master. "What the hell do you think you're doing? And don't talk about being hungry! You just narrowly avoided eating all of the contents of the palace pantries, and that was just a MINUTE ago!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, not knowing whether to feel angry or incredulous at the genie's obvious obsession with food.

Goku pouted as he rubbed a sore spot on his head. "Ouch! That really hurt!" he exclaimed. "You're so mean!"

And it was in this time when the Queen finally noticed the recent addition to Sanzo's group. She had been more than surprised, of course, for she knew her nephew was never a man who randomly picked some boy on the streets for no reason at all. But she found the situation very amusing. Here was a new subject that totally contradicted the Prince to take away her boredom, and she mentally took note not to bother Sanzo that much from now on as a reward for pleasing her in the most unusual manner. "And who may this little pet of yours be?" she asked.

The Prince rewarded her with a glare. "That's none of your damned business," he said coldly. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at Goku, who was about to open his mouth but wisely shut it. And in a moment, he began to remember the conversation he had with him before entering the throne room…

"Alright. I will fucking bring you with us, now cease your yapping," Sanzo said in an attempt to stop a very annoying Goku from harassing him. He figured that if he didn't bring the monkey, he would most likely find another place, or person, to bug, and being one who witnessed the result of a genie's anger for a particular redhead, he was sure the boy would only cause trouble again. Better to make him stick around where he could keep a watchful eye on him.

"Yay! Did you hear that, Hakkai? Sanzo said I'm going with you guys! Yay! I get to meet people!" Goku exclaimed, doing his own version of a celebratory jump. His face shone with excitement, and once again, Sanzo found himself wondering why the hell going to see his stupid aunt would make someone so happy.

"Yes, yes. I'm sure she'll like you very much," Hakkai replied, smiling at the boy's obvious enthusiasm.

"But let's get some things straight," Sanzo said as he turned to Goku and gave him a scary look. "You are not, and I mean never, to tell ANYONE that you are a genie. Unless you want to find your body thrown into the ocean." The thought of the Queen knowing about this caused him to go into another violent mood. She'd have a field day, he was sure of it.

"But what's the point of being a genie if I can't tell anyone about it?" Goku asked as he pondered over what Sanzo said.

"The monkey has a point," Gojyo said as he jerked his thumb on Goku's direction. He really enjoyed torturing his superior very much, he didn't even care if Goku stomped his foot for calling him a monkey.

"Shut up!"

"Did the almighty Sanzo just asked me to shut up, Hakkai?" Gojyo said nonchalantly.

Sanzo chose to ignore him, just this once. "Are we clear on what I told you?" he told Goku.

"Okay, Master, I mean, Sanzo. But will you promise to give me chicken and spring rolls and beef and-"

"Will you stop talking about food?"

"But I'm just so-"

"Say the word and I will kill you," Sanzo warned angrily.

"What word?" Goku asked. "You mean, 'I'm hungry'?"

He found the answer when Sanzo slammed his fist on his head and he collapsed on the floor, where the only thing he could see were stars forming a halo around his head.

"My, my, Konzen. I thought you hated animals," Queen Kanzeon said as her gaze lingered on Goku, who had stopped debating on whether or not he should say he's a genie. Somehow having a bruise on his head was enough for one day. He didn't need another one to add to his collection.

"I'm not an animal, you poophead!" Goku shouted at her. Why was it that everyone in this place never called him by his real name? "My name is Goku! Go-ku!"

The guards made a move towards Goku for insulting the Queen herself, but Kanzeon waved her hand and said it was fine. Yes, she thought, this guy is the perfect person to complete Sanzo's group.

Gojyo laughed loudly at this. The boy had such a fiery spirit, and despite his attempts to cover his entire body in food, he found himself forgiving him for that. Beside him, he could tell that Hakkai's head was bent so low and he suddenly found the floor very fascinating, which he knew was only an attempt to hide the laughter that was bubbling inside of him. "Oh, my, Sanzo! Only an hour of having him with you and already you had corrupted his mind with such foul words!" he exclaimed.

Sanzo unsheathed his sword and wasted no time in throwing it at Gojyo, who only managed to duck in time.

"Oy! What the heck was that for? You could've cut my wonderful hair to pieces! Do you want a mob of Gojyo fan girls to chase after you?" Gojyo yelled, fury evident in his red eyes.

Sanzo picked up his sword. "Annoy me again and I will not hesitate to bring that sword to your neck next time," he said frostily as he stared daggers at him. Honestly, calling him responsible for the genie's behavior? The redhead was one to talk.

This time, they were interrupted by the Queen's laughter ringing around the room. They all turned to her as if she was crazy. "You're all very entertaining," she said in between laughing. "Especially this adorable guy Goku."

"Shut up. You're changing the topic. Why the camel are we here?" Sanzo was the one who spoke, and because it was him who did so, the Queen was forced to answer.

"I want you to meet someone," Kanzeon replied, smiling. She called for the guards. "Announce him."

The wide doors opened and in came a bespectacled stranger. He was dressed in white robes that almost reached his ankles. A turban was also placed on his head. But what really caught everyone's attention, aside from the man's creepy smile that could rival the Queen's, was something with big yellow eyes slithering up on his arm, where it rested at his shoulder. It was a snake, and a very dangerous looking one that would probably bite someone's hand if provoked. The others backed away from him as he passed by them to kneel to the Queen.

"You may rise, Nii Jen Yi," Queen Kanzeon ordered, a smile gracing her face.

The man did so. "It is an honor to be requested for your company, Your Majesty," he spoke.

Goku stared at the man with golden eyes. There was just something about this man that made him very uncomfortable and wary. Yes, the snake looked very scary, and he wasn't very keen on being near reptiles, but he was sure that wasn't the reason for his sudden behavior. And glancing at a scowling Sanzo, a very serious Gojyo, and the glimmer on Hakkai's eye, he could see that they, too, were also disturbed by something.

"Nii, I would like you to meet my nephew, Prince Sanzo, and his companions," Queen Kanzeon introduced. She saw Sanzo give a brief nod of his head, the closest thing they could get for an "I'm glad to meet you". But even if the Prince had managed to control his emotions, one look at his eyes could tell that he instantly took a dislike to the stranger. "He is a snake charmer from the West who happened to pass by here during one of his travels."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Hakkai said civilly, but no smile was present on his face. And I'm sure you know what this means.

But Nii wasn't paying attention to him. Instead, his eyes were all on Sanzo. "Ah, yes, Prince Sanzo. It's feels great to finally meet you in the flesh. There are lots of things I hear about you," he said in that eerie voice of his.

"Bad things, I presume," Sanzo said brusquely as he avoided looking into those deep black eyes of his that seemed to search into his soul.

The snake on the stranger's shoulder hissed loudly, as it seemed to regard Sanzo with something akin to distaste. It seemed that wherever he went, humans and animals alike would always dislike him. Nii stroke its head affectionately and muttering soothing words to it, which made the snake calm down. "Gossip is a very fine weapon, Prince Sanzo, and one should never attempt to overlook it," he said.

Sanzo narrowed his eyes. He didn't like the way this guy was talking. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he growled.

The snake charmer smiled mysteriously at him, giving the Prince the more reason to suspect that he knew something that he did not know. And it annoyed him. "Oh, you know perfectly well what that means, dear Prince," he replied. He looked at Hakkai. "Aren't you Cho Hakkai, the famous royal advisor?"

"Yes. That is me," Hakkai said.

"I do hope you have already gotten over the loss of your lover, Kanan. I heard she committed suicide. Oh, what a tragic ending to such a great love story," the snake charmer said as he looked knowingly at Hakkai and watched him clenched his fists.

Hakkai, on the other hand, didn't know what to say. He was very shocked to hear someone like him talk about his dead lover in such a manner that one used when discussing the weather. Not many people know about how Kanan died, and it surprised him that a person who came as far as the West Kingdom knew something about it.

But before he could reply, Nii had already moved towards Gojyo. "Red hair…" he muttered as his eyes flickered towards him. "I know you. Sha Gojyo, I presume?"

Gojyo did not reply, hoping to shrug off Nii, but it only seemed to interest him more. "Oh, so the rumors were true. You don't look like your mother at all. That's a pity."

This time Gojyo did turn to look at him with an expression of disbelief and anger present on his face. "You knew my mother?" he snarled.

"Why, of course, I did. Quite a pretty lady too. But I heard life wasn't good for her, especially when she bore y…Oh, forgive me for my rudeness. I almost forgot that she's already dead so I shouldn't be talking about such things in front of her son, no less." But everyone knew the fact, even Goku, for they could see on the snake charmer's face that he looked far from sorry.

"Why you…!" Gojyo exclaimed.

"And what do we have here?" Nii Jen Yi looked at Goku. "I believe this is one person that I have never heard of."

Goku suppressed the urge to shudder as he found the man's gaze fixed on him. The hair on his back stood up and he wanted so much to hide inside one of those large antique jars lying around. He felt Gojyo tense beside him.

"Such strange eyes…" Nii Jen Yi murmured as he stroked his chin. There was a certain look in his eyes that Hakkai found alarming and he could only imagine what was going on inside that twisted brain of his. "The only creatures I know with golden eyes are…"

"I wish for me and my companions to be excused. I believe we are getting quite weary for we hadn't slept very well last night." Perhaps Sanzo had sensed something too, for all of a sudden he was in such a hurry to get out of here as soon as possible. And his instincts were screaming at him that this snake charmer has more than what met the eye. The way he looked at Goku, it was as if he knew about his real identity.

Queen Kanzeon, who had been watching this exchange with quite some time now, looked disapprovingly at Sanzo. It seemed like the Prince could never restrain himself from showing his true colors, even in front of guests. She also noticed the way the rest of his followers had acted towards the arrival of Nii. Perhaps asking for his presence wasn't such a good idea after all… "As you wish, Sanzo. But I do hope you could join me and Lady Gyokumen for tea this afternoon," she said, enjoying the disgusted expression that crossed her nephew's face for a few seconds.

"I have no time for that," Prince Sanzo snapped. He glanced at Nii. "It was…nice meeting you." And with those words, he and the others left the room without even glancing back, so they were unable to see the mischievous smile that crossed the snake charmer's face.

The moment they were outside, Goku let out a sigh of relief at the same time Gojyo cursed loudly. Normally, Hakkai would have scolded him for cursing in front of children, even though Sanzo told him many times that Goku was not a child, but he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. And Sanzo couldn't blame him, for even he was quite affected by that encounter with Nii Jen Yi.

"Sanzo…" Goku started.

"What now?"

"He's…he's creepy. I don't like him."

And for the first time ever, Sanzo found himself sharing something in common with the genie.

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"Sleep."

Sanzo stared angrily down at the figure of Goku, who was sitting at the foot of his bed, doing nothing in particular. And Sanzo knew that a bored Goku was a big damage to mankind. It was already late in the evening, and he was becoming very sleepy, a thing that was rare, for it was like seeing him smile everyday. But of course, the hyper active genie just had to ruin it for him.

"I can't sleep," Goku said for the fifth time that night. Surprisingly, his face was serious, his eyes dull, and there was no trace of the once restless boy that Sanzo had first met, and he wondered what had caused this abrupt change. He was fiddling with the tussles on Sanzo's pillow, which annoyed Sanzo. But at least he wasn't creating havoc. Yet.

"If you don't sleep, you'll get hungry. And when you're hungry, you'll bother me. Then I'll never be able to sleep," Sanzo told him, as he frowned at the idea. Gojyo would tease him on end tomorrow morning if he found so much as dark circles under his eyes and Hakkai, being the overly mother, or in his case, father hen of the group, would only make him stay in bed all day. "Go back to your room."

"I…I can't!" Goku replied, looking scandalized.

Sanzo arched a brow. "And why is that?"

"I…well…I just can't!" Goku exclaimed, flustered.

"Is the room I gave you not suited to genie's tastes?" Sanzo asked.

"Well, no! I like very much! The view coming from the window is very nice and I can see the palace gardens from up there. And my bed has all these pillows that are so soft and…" Goku's voice trailed, and some spark returned in his eyes as he continued to describe his room, which was on the third floor right above Sanzo's.

"Then what seems to be the problem?" Sanzo wanted to know.

"I…I'm scared," Goku finally admitted. His appearance confirmed it. His golden eyes were now large and filled with something that Sanzo couldn't quite put a finger on. He looked like a puppy that had lost its owner.

"Scared? Of what?" Sanzo had never thought the genie to be one who was easily scared. After all, insulting Gojyo and annoying Sanzo was something that was definitely classified as bravery. Was it possible that this person who had called Gojyo "scorpion" countless times was afraid of the dark?

Goku stared at the floor. "I'm scared…of being alone," he whispered. Memories of being trapped in that bottle he had been living in for years haunted him. Of course the others never knew it, but being inside that bottle was no simple feat. All he ever saw was darkness, and there was no one to talk to. In fact, during that time, Goku would have been willing to sacrifice the great powers that came with being a genie just to ensure that he could finally leave that place.

Sanzo scoffed. "That's stupid," he stated.

"I know," Goku said, sighing.

The silence engulfing them was deafening. Goku was feeling more and more alone and Sanzo, well, let's just say the situation wasn't helping his mood very well, and he could feel some of his drowsiness creeping away. When finally he couldn't take it, he said, "Go back to your room."

"But-"

"I said, go back to your room. There won't be any monsters hiding in the dark, unless by some miracle Gojyo happened to be there. Besides, I'm only one floor away, so there is no point in worrying," Sanzo said callously as he turned on the other side of the bed, so his back was facing Goku.

Goku blinked. If he didn't known better, it sounded like Sanzo, the very same Sanzo who had been hitting him on the head with his sword countless times, actually cared. Or maybe it really was his imagination…But whatever it is, his words seemed to have some effect on him, and he found himself believing the arrogant Prince.

He smiled. It was a good thing Sanzo couldn't see him right now, for he would've cursed him again for smiling, jumping to conclusions or something along those lines. "Okay. Good night Sanzo," he half-whispered as he opened the door, but not before hearing Sanzo's reply.

"If you're leaving, then, yes, it would be a good night."

Goku grinned.

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Sanzo, surprisingly, did not wake up the next morning because of the noisy rackets the birds were making, or Gojyo teasing Hakkai about always practicing yoga in the morning, or one of the servants knocking on his door to tell him it was time for breakfast. But of course, it wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the biggest dilemma the Tougenkyo Prince had ever come across – the genie Goku. There was Sanzo, dreaming about fighting in battle, when the loud shouts and the throwing of furniture coming from outside made him open his eyes. At first he thought it was just Gojyo, arguing with another one of those women who was so dumb as to always want to be with him, but then he heard the familiar voice of Goku. The next thing he knew, he was standing up and opening the door to his chambers.

"What in the seven hells are you doing?" he yelled as he found the two culprits at each other's throats outside, steam practically coming out of their ears. Sanzo noticed that Gojyo's face had been greatly decorated, with, well, all kinds of markings. There was the messy words "I'm ugly" written on his left cheek, a lame drawing of a cockroach on his forehead and another phrase of "I'm a scorpion" on his chin. It made quite an impression, actually and seeing the scene before him actually made the blonde relax and forget about being rudely awoken. After all, it's not everyday that the womanizer Sha Gojyo sported such a look, right?

"Sanzo!" Goku said, relief evident in his face as he saw the familiar face of his master. "Gojyo's picking a fight with me again!"

Gojyo, who at the moment was on Destruction mode, gritted his teeth and Sanzo swore he almost looked like a dangerous tiger at that time. Well, almost. "That would never have happened if your idiotic self just refrained from barging into my room and writing things on my face!" he shouted as he shook the genie's body several times, his eyes spinning.

"It's not my fault you didn't lock your room!"

"Don't start talking about security here, you stupid little monkey!" Gojyo exclaimed, seething.

"I'm not a monkey! I'm a genie!" Goku protested as he tried to get away from Gojyo's mighty grip on his neck.

"No! You're a monkey!"

"I'm a genie, you perverted beetle!"

"Who gave you the right to call me an insect? And don't try to change the topic! Look again at what you did to me! Do my wonderful face look like paper?"

Goku shrugged. "Not really. I mean, paper's smooth, while you're face is so rough. Maybe I should've braided your hair instead."

"Why you…!"

"Shut up, you two!" Sanzo cried out as he felt his anger quickly returning at their earsplitting bickering. With fast movements, he threw his beloved sword at them and which resulted in two writhing beings pinned to the floor, with matching swelling bruises on their heads.

"Careful where you throw that sword of yours! Are you not aware that it's an object for slicing, not for throwing?" Gojyo exclaimed as he tried his damnest to stand up despite the throbbing pain on his head. Unfortunately, the glare he sent Sanzo went unnoticed, which only added to his anger.

"Tch," Sanzo said. He smirked. "You look better like that anyway."

"You wrinkled old man! I'm gonna kill you with my bare hands!" Gojyo snarled as he lunged for Sanzo, who stood casually leaning on the wall.

But at that same moment, Hakkai chose to appear, much to Sanzo's relief, carrying one of those ancient scrolls he was reading a while ago. He instantly smiled when he saw Gojyo's furious ink-filled face and Goku who was still passed out on the floor, twitching in agony. "You guys are such a bunch of early birds," he remarked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Don't start with me, Hakkai," Sanzo growled. He hated it when the advisor took great pleasure in seeing them argue. If he didn't know better, he'd think he's some sadist. He so wanted to wipe that smile off his face, but even a prince like him has his manners. Besides, Hakkai served as a useful man, especially now that he is the only one who can survive taking care of Goku, and could get him out of sticky situations with the Queen, so there was no point in injuring him.

"Of course, of course," Hakkai replied, still smiling. He then again turned to Goku, who had finally managed to get up from the floor. "I see you have already practiced your writing. And I think you're improving."

Goku beamed at him. "Really? Really? Really?" he said happily.

Gojyo was torn between surprise and anger. "What's that supposed to mean?" he said. There was just something about Hakkai's words….

"Oh, earlier this morning, Goku had chanced upon me in my room, with nothing to do, so I decided to teach him basic writing and reading. And judging from the words on your face, he has managed to absorb what I'm teaching him," Hakkai explained calmly, unaware of the sudden angry look on Gojyo's face.

"What? You taught that monster how to write? So you're the one at fault!"

"I'm not a monster!" Goku griped as he punched Gojyo in the face.

"Ow! You little devil!" Gojyo exclaimed, grabbing Goku by the collar and flinging him to the floor face down.

"And why is it my fault?" Hakkai asked.

"If you didn't teach him how to write, none of this could've happened in the first place!" Gojyo said, referring to his face.

But Sanzo, who had long ago passed the role of referee to Hakkai, went back inside his room. There was no point in listening to a bunch of idiots fight about nonsense things. Just then, he heard a tapping coming from the window. When he looked enough, there was a black bird, its tiny little beak making tapping noises. Sanzo recognized this as Hiryu, Kougaiji and Lirin's bird which they always use when they want to deliver messages to them unnoticed.

Sanzo gritted his teeth as he pondered over what those bandits wanted now. He opened the window and let the bird in. And there enough, when he looked closer, was a scroll of paper attached to its right leg. The Prince untied it and scanned the note with his eyes:

Go to the festival at the marketplace today and meet us there. And don't worry, this time, we're not asking you to steal. I know Mr. Red Eyes is still mad at me about what happened last time. Anyway, I know you have a new companion with you, and Brother and the others want to meet him. We'll see you there later or else, well…erm, I'm still thinking of what to threaten you with…

Yours truly,

L

Sanzo crumpled the piece of paper and shooed Hiryu away. He didn't even want to know how those buffoons managed to know about Goku. It was still so early in the morning, and he felt like throwing up at the painful headache he had now acquired. What is it even possible that he could just rest for even one day? Sanzo didn't even bother to answer his own question.

He unwillingly went back outside where the monkey and the cockroach were still at it, and Hakkai's pleas of "Stop it" fell on deaf ears. "Stop it now!" Sanzo yelled.

It was a good thing that Gojyo and Goku knew of Sanzo's famous temper and "creative" punishments, for as if time itself froze; they immediately stopped fighting and yelling, which was not by any means a miracle, given that Sanzo was equipped with a weapon.

"We're going to the festival at the marketplace," Sanzo informed them, glowering at them as if daring them to object.

Gojyo snorted. "What for?"

Hakkai smiled knowingly. "I'm guessing this is another request from our beloved friends?"

Sanzo looked repulsed at the idea of Lirin and her gang being friends with him. In all his years with mingling with them, he had never once considered them as friends. How could he when all they managed to do was get them into trouble? No, the best term to refer to them was "acquaintances", nothing more. "They are not my friends," he said coldly.

"Whom are you talking about Sanzo?" Goku asked curiously.

"No one, so shut up," Sanzo snapped. He didn't need another one of Goku's Ask-A-Million-Questions session.

"Are there all kinds of food at the festival, Sanzo?" Goku asked again.

"Don't talk to me."

"Will there be meat, and pork and chicken and noodles and fruits?"

Meanwhile, Gojyo was faced with another problem. "How can I go outside looking like this?" he exclaimed in horror as he gestured to his face. Thoughts of all those wonderful women waiting for him and the sight of Sanzo smirking at him were not helping him any better. Oh, how he longed to beat the monkey into oblivion….

Hakkai chuckled. "Ah, Gojyo…In case you don't know, that's permanent ink," he stated and watched the shifting of emotions of his perverted friend.

"WHAT?"

Let's just say, Gojyo changed his mind, for if before he wanted to beat Goku, now he wanted to kill him. Maybe if we hoped hard enough, there wouldn't be another monkey to die in this world tonight...

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Up next on Monkey in A Bottle (title not yet decided):

The Sanzo-ikkou meets with Lirin and the others at the festival. But with a certain monkey on the loose, things are bound to go wrong.

AN: Yeah, I know I suck. This is a rather boring chapter. I'm not really fond of Nii, so the first scene was rather…well, pointless. Plus, the summary at the last chapter was rather Is three days attending classes already damaging my brain? Dang. Or maybe I'm just making excuses. Lol.