AN: Extremely important notice here, kiddies. Sergey, in here, IS NOT Nina's father, he IS NOT twice her age. He is, in fact, only a year older than her (he's 25 in here), so anything between them IS NOT illegal. Lol. Okay, read on.
1/2 an AN: Preston, if you're reading this, celebrate! This is dedicated to you and all the other Nina/Erstin fans out there. grin
She looked up at the night sky, watching as the stars streaked across and met their fierily beautiful death. The wind blew softly, caressing her wet cheeks. Before she knew it, she was drowning in her own tears.
x x x
She couldn't see straight anymore. Everything blurred and swirled into one big blob, one big mess that she felt she couldn't take anymore. She couldn't deal with it. She never could.
x x x
Erstin wasn't weak. She was just delicate. All her friends were protective ones, always wanting the best for their blonde friend, always making sure she had everything that she could ever need at any point in time. Funny thing was, it never worked out like that.
She needed Nina.
Nina was never there.
x x x
"Honey, we're out of bacon."
Nina looked up from her newspaper and frowned.
"You serious?"
"Dead serious. I'll go out and get some more when I come back from work, but for now..."
Sighing, Nina stood up and ran a hand through her deep blue hair, gently ruffling the bangs that hung over her tired amber eyes.
"Oh, I don't know. Guess I'll just have eggs then."
Sergey smiled at his wife, pleased that the usually picky woman actually managed to settle for something less this time. He walked away from the fridge to the kitchen table, leaned over, and gently pressed his lips against Nina's forehead.
"Thanks, Nina. I love you."
Sergey turned and walked back to the stove, grabbing an egg along the way. As he cracked it open against the edge of the pan, he let his smile slip away from his face.
Nina hadn't said anything in return. In fact, she hadn't for several months now.
Just who was this Erstin girl?
x x x
"We- we shouldn't be doing this, Nina-chan."
Erstin's eyes rolled back in pleasure as she nearly lost control. Nina's hands ran up and down her spine, drawing desperate moans from the blonde.
"Nina-chan... Stop, please..."
Nina's lips traveled up Erstin's bare stomach and towards the blonde's ample chest. Erstin could feel herself slipping into the space of unlimited pleasure that she always found herself in whenever Nina came over. It was so tempting, but...
"Stop... Stop…" Erstin moaned before being silenced by Nina as they kissed.
They broke apart, and Erstin gasped, "Stop, please... Nina-chan..."
She couldn't stop. She wouldn't stop. Nina pushed Erstin's shirt higher still, the piece of clothing gathering at the blonde's quivering chin.
"Please, Nina-chan, stop...!"
Erstin finally managed to regain enough self control to push Nina away. The blonde stared into the shining amber eyes of the other girl as she remained pinned against her bedroom wall.
"Nina-chan..."
The blonde looked expectantly at her lover.
"No, I haven't talked to him yet."
Erstin sighed and turned her head away in frustration, but Nina pressed her hand against Erstin's cheek and pushed her head back to face her.
"I'm sorry, Ers, I really am."
"Are you? You keep saying you're going to talk to him. Another day, you keep saying, just give me another day and I'll tell him about us. It's been another day, Nina-chan, months, in fact! Why do you keep dragging this on?"
It was Nina's turn to look away. She stepped back and smoothed out her clothing, removing the wrinkles, removing the evidence.
"I'm not dragging this on, Ers. Don't you want this too?"
Erstin made an incredulous noise, shooting a shocked look at the other girl.
"Do I want this? Do I want this? Of course I want this! But I want this fully, Nina, I don't want just half of you!"
"You have all of me, Ers."
"Do I? Then what part of you does Sergey own? Are there two of you now?"
"Erstin..."
"I can't stand this, Nina! I really can't. I love you just as much as he does. I love you even more than he does. Why must he be the one who rightly has your hand?"
Nina sighed and turned to go.
"I'm sorry, Ers."
"Stop saying sorry. All you ever do is say sorry."
Nina turned back to look over her shoulder at Erstin. The blonde was standing there, in the middle of her bedroom, her shirt crumpled and the zipper of her jeans undone. Her shining gold strands were tousled.
"No. That's not true." Nina whispered.
A scoff. Erstin turned away, trying to hide the tears in her pastel green eyes.
"It is, Nina-chan. It is."
Nina walked out the door.
x x x
"The doctor says that I'm okay. Stop worrying already!"
Irina looked at her best friend and frowned.
"Yeah, well I suggest you change doctors then. This doctor obviously does not know what she's talking about."
Her best friend looked haggard. Dark circles surrounded those usually bright green eyes. She looked like she'd lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time.
"Oh, Irina. You know that she knows exactly what she's talking about. Dr. Sawada knows everything."
"About physical matters, yes. Emotional matters, I think not."
Erstin looked away from the squirrel in the tree and shot a quizzical look at the redhead.
"Don't give me that look, Ers-chan. In all the years I've known you, you've never looked this down. What's up?"
Erstin studied those bright golden eyes and noticed the intense concern shining in them. She sighed and turned her gaze to the bright blue sky above them. Her hand rested against the rough wooden surface of the bench that they were sitting on.
"Nothing's up. I'm not even down. Just slightly overstressed from school."
Irina raised an eyebrow.
"You haven't got anything stressful from school, Ers. I would know, I'm in the same classes as you."
"Yeah, well, what if Mr. Kanzaki gave me a secret extra credit assignment to work on that only I knew about? Then how would you know about the amount of stress school's been causing?"
Irina smiled at her best friend, hitting her shoulder lightly.
"Oh please. Seriously, what is it?"
Erstin sighed amusedly and stood up. She brushed the backside of her skirt to rid herself of the specks of grass from the bench and turned to face Irina.
"It's nothing. Believe me, it's nothing."
Irina ran a hand through her hair and stood up as well. She linked her arm through Erstin's.
"I sure hope so."
"It is. Stop worrying!"
As they began to walk out of the courtyard of the hospital, Irina stared up at the blue sky and murmured, "I will once you're okay. Until then, promise me you'll take care of yourself. And tell me if anything's wrong, alright?"
Erstin looked at her best friend, surprised, before replying, "I promise."
From a safe distance and in the cover of a tree, Nina watched the duo walk back into the hospital.
x x x
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Just spill it already."
Nina put down her cup of coffee and shot her companion a dirty look.
"Why the hell am I even talking to you?"
Nao grinned and replied, "Because that's what you always do. I'm the only one who understands what's going on and won't hit you for the bad things you've done. Oh hell, I even manage to actually get a kick out of your dirty little relationships."
Nina growled and looked out of the window of the coffee shop.
"I do not have dirty little relationships."
"Then what the hell d'you call your little thing with Er-"
"SHUT UP."
Nao looked up from her cappuccino, surprised at the sudden reaction of the younger woman. Nina was bristling visibly, and to the redhead's eternal surprise, actually had tears in her eyes.
"O...kay."
"Is that all you have to say? Okay? You're pathetic."
"And you're absolutely miserable."
"Great friend you are, Juliet."
"Shut up, bitch. What the fuck has this Erstin girl done to you? She's reduced you to a little pathetic pile of nothing."
Nina chuckled bitterly through her unshed tears.
"She has, hasn't she?"
Nao frowned and remained silent for a moment, studying Nina's distressed face. The younger girl's dark blue hair hung loosely in a haphazard ponytail, like she'd just rushed out of the house and needed to get her hair out of the way. The normally cool and collected amber eyes had a frantic glow to them, as though Nina was cornered and desperately searching for a way out. Upon reflection, Nao realized that that was exactly how the girl was.
"Nina, have you talked to Sergey yet?"
Nina said nothing. Nao waited, but it didn't seem like the other girl was going to say anything, so she tried again.
"You can't keep dragging on like this. It isn't healthy."
"Why the hell does everyone keep saying that! Have you talked to Sergey yet? Stop dragging this on," Nina mocked, her voice bitter, "why can't anyone see it from my point of view!"
Nao leaned back in her chair and casually took a sip of her coffee, trying her best to hide the look of surprise and slight hurt at the callousness of Nina's outburst.
"I'm just doing my job. I'm the one who says things that people don't want to hear, remember?"
"Well, stop being you for once."
Nao cleared her throat and stood up, dropping her empty coffee cup back onto its saucer with a soft crash.
"Alright then. I guess that's my cue to go. It's your turn to pay."
"... Bitch."
Nao stopped mid-motion of putting her coat on.
"What did you say?"
"I said you're a bitch."
Normally, Nao would've taken that for a compliment. Somehow, this time, with Nina's tone and look, it hit her as hard as any physical blow would have.
"Say that again, and I'll rip your fucking tongue out."
"Let's see you try, you slut." Nina countered, standing up, bristling.
Nao launched herself forward with a strong roundhouse punch to Nina's chin. The blow hit and Nina flew backwards, knocking down her chair.
"You wanna call me anymore names, you whore!" Nao called out as she stood above Nina's prostrate form.
Nina stood up and wiped the blood trickling from her cut lip.
"Yeah. You punch like a wuss."
Nao knew that Nina was just trying to provoke her, but she couldn't help it. It was pathetic. Nina was pathetic. She'd been one of the strongest, bravest girls that Nao had ever run into. Nao had even admired her, to an extent, and yet, here she was, nothing but a pile of worthless crap. Just who was this Erstin girl? Was she really that powerful, powerful enough to ruin someone like Nina? Nao stopped thinking for a moment as Nina threw her own punch into Nao's gut, winding her.
"Fuck you, you bitch!"
The insults and blows flew left, right and centre. No-one seemed to be willing to stop the two women as they traded blows and yelled at each other, and it wasn't until Nao grabbed Nina in a headlock that the other customers stopped screaming.
"Nina. Nina." Nao panted, struggling to hold the writhing girl still, "You have to stop this. Erstin is ruining your life. You've got to choose!"
Nina squirmed, pushing against Nao, trying to get herself out of the painful headlock that the redhead had her in, but Nao was too strong for her. Nina eventually stopped struggling and settled for answering the older girl.
"I know, Nao. I really do."
"Then why don't you do it? It's not a hard choice. From what you've been telling me, hell, a 3 year old could easily make the decision."
"You don't think I know that? But I just can't. I can't! Sergey's been so good to me, we've been together for so long...!"
Nao let go of Nina and watched as the girl slumped to the floor beside the shattered remains of a chair.
"Sergey was my first love, Nao. You know that. He helped me through my roughest time. He was there when my dad died. I cried on his shoulder and spent the night in his arms. When he asked me to marry him, that was the happiest moment of my entire life."
"And yet, here you are, fooling around with this Erstin girl."
"I'm not fooling around, Nao. I'm... I don't know what I'm doing."
Nao sat down beside Nina on the ground.
"Clearly."
Nina sighed as Nao pulled her into a soft hug and held her head to her chest.
"Look, you say that Sergey's made you the happiest you've been in your entire life, then why don't you stay with him and cut the girl?"
The tears that Nina had been holding back since the afternoon welled up and finally spilled out.
"Because I can't. Erstin... Erstin has been so great. She's just... she's everything Sergey wasn't. Sergey, he's provided me with the things I need, but Erstin has what I really want. She loves me, loves me in a way that Sergey doesn't even know exists, a way he can't begin to understand."
"Well. Is it just me, or have you made your decision?"
For a moment, Nina remained silent. Then, she pushed herself slowly away from Nao and got up.
"I have. I just can't do it. Not yet."
Nao stood up and brushed the dirt from her jeans.
"Fine. I'll let you be, but promise me that you won't keep dragging this on. No matter how great this Erstin is, even she won't wait that long."
Nina sighed and brushed her tears away.
"I know. And even if she was willing, she can't."
Nao raised an eyebrow and asked, "What do you mean, Nina?"
Nina shrugged and headed for the door.
"She can't. She doesn't have the time. She just doesn't have the time."
x x x
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Click.
"You have reached the Wang residence. Sorry, but we can't take your call right now. At the sound of the beep, leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks!"
Beep.
Silence.
Silence.
Beep.
Tone.
"Nina-chan. I love you."
Click.
Thud.
x x x
Sirens wailed into the front drive of the Airies University. Medics in bright white uniforms jumped out of the screeching vehicle and rushed into the building, up towards the 4th floor where apparently, a 24 year old girl had fallen unconscious in her room. They found her, lying on the hardwood floor by the telephone, blonde hair splayed out on the polished oak planks. As they lifted her onto a stretcher, a slip of paper fell out of her pocket. On it was a single name, and two words.
Nina Wang.
Call her.
x x x
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Click.
"He...hello?"
Sergey was groggy, his voice fogged over with tiredness as he answered the phone. It was 3 in the morning. Who the hell would call at 3 a.m in the morning?
"Hello. This is the Chrysant Hospital calling. Is Nina Wang home?"
Sergey paused for a moment, looking puzzled at the wall opposite him. Finally, he murmured, "Yes, she is. Hold on a moment please." before rolling over and gently shaking the shoulder of his sleeping wife.
"Nina. Nina, wake up. Phone for you."
She groaned and tried to hit him away, but he persisted. Finally, she sat up and took the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hello. This is the Chrysant Hospital calling. We've just admitted Miss Erstin Ho into our hospital, and apparently, the paramedics found a piece of paper in her pocket that said to call you. We are acting on her request, and are now notifying you that Miss Ho was found unconscious in her dorm room just an hour ago. Could you please come to the hospital?"
Nina couldn't hear anything. After the nurse and uttered the words Erstin Ho and hospital, everything faded to nothingness. Nina dropped the phone and jumped out of bed, sprinting out of the bedroom and grabbing her car keys along the way. She was out the door before Sergey could even register what had happened.
"Hello? Hello? Ms. Wang?"
Sergey looked down at the phone, lying crookedly on the sheets beside him. Sighing, he picked it up.
"Hello? This is Mr. Wang. What just happened?"
"Well, sir..."
x x x
Natsuki pushed open the door to the Airies Hospital, running a tired hand through her deep blue locks. This was crazy. She'd just taken her bike in for its monthly tune up, and if Shizuru hadn't been home, she would have never made it to the hospital. Sighing, Natsuki made her way to the front desk.
"Hi."
The nurse sitting behind the desk looked up from her computer screen and took in the image of the 27 year old woman in front of her. Haggard, with tousled blue hair and tired green eyes, the nurse thought the woman looked beat.
"Hello. How may I help you?"
"Um... My name's Natsuki Kruger. Your hospital called me about half an hour ago to tell me that my sister's in the hospital right now and is a little hysterical?"
The nurse frowned, puzzled. She hadn't admitted anyone into the hospital that went by the name of Kruger.
"I'm sorry, I don't think there's anyone in here with the name Kruger. What's your sister's name?"
"Oh. She's married, different last name. Her name's Nina. Nina Wang. I believe she's here for Erstin Ho?"
Several quick taps of the nurse's fingers brought up the needed information.
"Ah. Yes. Room 229, down that hall on the right."
Natsuki nodded brusquely and said a quick thank you before turning on her heel and striding down said hallway. She reached room 229 in a matter of moments.
"Let me go! You can't do this to her, you can't! LET GO!"
Natsuki jumped in shock, barely believing her ears. Was that... Nina?
"LET GO YOU BRUTES!"
"Excuse me, Miss."
Natsuki felt someone brush past her and watched as a security guard quickly ran into the room in front of her, attaching himself to the flailing woman in the room.
Nina.
Natsuki rushed in and watched as Nina fought against the 4 men that were currently holding her down. She had never seen her sister like this before.
"Nina."
The girl never heard her. She just kept screaming and struggling against her captors.
"Nina. NINA!"
The struggle died down and the men, noticing that the woman in their grasp had calmed down, quickly let go of her.
"Nat... Natsuki."
"What the hell is going on?"
Nina took one look at the worried expression on her elder sister's face, and, remembering the similar look that had been on Erstin's face when they'd first met, crumpled into a heap of tears on the hospital room floor.
x x x
"Doctor, what's wrong with my daughter?"
An uncomfortable pause.
"Mr. and Mrs. Ho, I'm afraid I have a bit of bad news."
More discomfort.
"Please, just tell us. We're prepared."
A firm nod. A look of sympathy.
"Your daughter, Erstin, has tested positive for HIV. She has now progressed into its later stages and has now entered the level of HIV that we call Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. In short, your daughter has AIDS."
"She..."
"Ers-"
A piercing scream, then a thud.
Mrs. Ho was hospitalized immediately. She'd fainted in the doctor's office.
x x x
"Hi. Are you alright?"
Nina looked up into the bright lights, thankful for the shadow of the person standing above her, shielding her from the worst of the shine.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."
She got back up again.
"Are you sure? I can skate you back to the door if you'd like."
Nina shook her head, brushing the snow off of the backside of her jeans.
"No. I'm okay. Seriously."
The blonde standing idly on the ice in front of her smiled sweetly. Nina's legs wobbled, though whether it was from her imbalance on ice or from something else, Nina wasn't sure. She sighed and looked around.
"Looking for someone?"
"Yeah. My husband."
"Husband? My gosh, you're married?"
Nina looked at the blonde, surprised.
"Yes. What's wrong with me being married?"
The girl laughed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just thought that you looked so young, you don't look like you're married."
It was Nina's turn to laugh. For some reason, this girl made her feel so... light and happy inside.
"S'okay. I get that a lot, actually. Kind of makes me wonder whether I'd done the right thing in saying yes to him."
That scared her. It scared her a lot. She'd never said anything like that to anyone before. She'd never actually even thought of that. The blonde smiled.
"You look so happy, I'm sure you did the right thing. My name's Erstin, by the way. Erstin Ho."
Nina took the hand that the blonde had offered her and shook it.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Nina Wang."
"Nina. That's such a pretty name. It matches you."
Nina smiled crookedly and blushed, acutely aware that the feeling welling up inside of her was so wonderful, but so new. Sergey had never made her feel this way before.
"T-thanks. I think you're pretty too."
A pause. Erstin smiled amusedly.
"I mean-! Your name! Your name's pretty!" Nina hastily said, spluttering.
"Thanks." Erstin murmured.
"N-no problem."
They stood together on centre ice, staring at each other. There was something going on between them, the other skaters decide. As they whizzed past the two women standing together, they noticed the soft smiles, the light blush.
When Sergey went back to go help his wife back to the edge of the rink, he discovered that she was nowhere to be found. In actuality, Nina was having her first cup of coffee with her future lover, Erstin Ho.
x x x
"She has AIDS."
"... AIDS?"
"Yeah."
Natsuki frowned as Nina moved around, her hair tickling the elder's neck. Nina was leaning her head against her sister's shoulder.
"When'd you find out?" Natsuki murmured, looking over at the unconscious form of Erstin, lying on the hospital bed.
"About a month ago."
"She hid it from you, for a year?"
Nina laughed, albeit bitterly.
"Yes. She's good at hiding things to keep others happy."
"Or maybe you were just ignorant."
"Yeah. That too."
The two of them were silent for a while, sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Nina reveled in the warmth of her sister, the comforting supportive air around her that kept her safe and warm.
"Thanks for coming, Natsuki."
Natsuki made a small noise of surprise and said, "It's nothing. You're my little sister. I've gotta come and help you no matter how late it is. Or early. Whatever."
Nina chuckled and pulled herself up.
"You should go back home. Shizuru's probably worried sick about you."
Natsuki expression darkened.
"Don't mention Shizuru, please."
Nina sighed.
"She loves you. Get used to it."
Natsuki stood up.
"Okay, I get it. You want to be alone. I'll go now."
"No! Natsuki, seriously! Shizuru's a really good person. Only someone like her would stick to you for so many years even when you keep distancing yourself. Stop pushing her away or you'll lose her!"
The elder of the two stopped at the door, hand on the frame, body rigid.
"Nina, as much as I love you, please, just shut up. Your problems are much, much bigger than my own right now. I suggest you deal with your little triangle before you go and try to give advice about what I should or should not do with Shizuru."
Sergey watched from a distance as Nina's face crumpled and Natsuki strode out the door.
x x x
A light groan.
"Nina... chan?"
"Hey you. Finally decided to wake up, huh?"
Blink. She was confused.
"Have you been crying, Nina?"
A sniff. Her hand wiped at her eyes quickly.
"What, no. What makes you think that?"
"Nina-chan..."
"Stop worrying about me, Ers. How are you feeling?"
"Better..."
"Y'know, I was so scared when I picked up the phone and heard that you'd been hospitalized."
"... I'm sorry to have worried you."
She kissed her lover's forehead soothingly.
"Don't say that. I'm the one who should be sorry. That I wasn't there for you."
A sniff. Tears fell down her cheeks and onto the pillow beneath her head.
"You were... you were."
She cleared her throat.
"Was I?"
"... Yes."
"I love you, Ers. I love you."
Eyes widened.
He stumbled backwards, the back of his knees catching the edge of the seats. He fell into sitting position fast, a loud thud echoing in the silence that followed the admission.
They jumped in shock and looked for the source of the commotion. Her eyes found his.
The end had begun.
x x x
"Today's our 3 year wedding anniversary, you know. I had such a special dinner planned out for tonight."
"...Really?"
"Oh yeah. All of your favourites. Cheesecake to wrap it all up, too. You would have loved it."
"..."
"Nothing to say?"
"What is there to say?"
Sergey looked up at the early morning sky, aware of how dark it still was. Of how dark it would be for him, from this point on.
"A thank you, maybe? A 'oh, you're so sweet, Sergey', like you used to?"
"Like I used to..."
"Yeah, like you used to. You used to say those kinds of things to me. Along with 'I love you, Sergey' and 'I'm so happy we got married'. Those things, those little things. Those stopped about a year ago."
"Did they...?"
He ran a hand through his ruffled deep blonde hair. Nina stared off into space.
"So this is the Erstin who asked for you on the phone, from before?"
Nina looked up, eyebrows raised.
"That was a long time ago, Sergey."
He laughed bitterly.
"Oh, I'd remember it even if it was decades ago. The way your whole face lit up in delight when you heard her name. And yet, you looked so apprehensive, as if I was supposed to react badly to the whole thing. I kind of understand now."
"... Sergey..." she paused and took a deep breath, "I'm s-"
"No. Don't say it. Don't say it unless you mean it, unless you want this to end."
He took her hand in his.
"Do you? Do you want this to end, Nina?"
"I... I don't know."
They were silent. Nina wiggled her fingers, trying to regain the feeling in her hand. Somehow, Sergey's grip wasn't as strong and comforting as it used to be. It'd cut off her circulation.
"I do know one thing, though," Nina finally said, "as happy as I've been with you, as wonderful as you've made me feel these past years, something's off now."
"Is it Er-"
"It's not Erstin." Nina cut in, stopping Sergey abruptly, "It was never Erstin. Something was off before I ever met her. She just made me realize that the void was there. She filled it. But she won't be able to do that for much longer."
Hope welled up in Sergey, despite the fact that he'd just had his whole world dashed to pieces.
"So you'll stay, with me?"
Nina looked up, looked into those deep ocher eyes filled with love for her, sincerity that almost couldn't be surpassed. Almost. She stood up, extricating her hand from his.
"No," she whispered, shaking her head, "no. I'll stay with her, until she doesn't need me anymore, and then I'll stay by her memory."
The tears fell from her eyes. His welled up but stayed hidden.
"What do you mean, her memory? What do you mean when she won't need you?"
Nina turned and began to walk back into Erstin's room.
"She doesn't have much time, Sergey. She gave her everything to me. It's time I did the same for her."
"Nina!"
"I'm sorry, Sergey. I really am. I loved you, I really did. But something fell apart, and I know we can't put it back together again. But I loved you. When I said I loved you, I really, really loved you."
"Loving me in the past... isn't enough, Nina."
"... I know."
"Is your heart all hers now? Is there nothing left? I don't mind just having a part of you, Nina, I really don't. I just need you to be there, for me to be able to be there for you, with you."
"A part of me... It wouldn't be fair to you. Or to her. She's strained to hold onto me for long enough. I've just been hurting her, and hurting you. I'm sorry, but my heart, it's hers. It's been hers for quite some time now."
Sergey stood up, clutching at his chest. It pained him. He felt as though he was going to collapse.
"I see."
"I'm sorry."
"I see."
"Sergey..."
"Go give her your all, Nina. Go give her your all."
"Sergey?"
"Go. I have nothing left to keep you with. She's got all of you. Go give her your all. Go give her everything that was mine. I'm empty. She's got everything. I'm empty. I'm empty!"
Sergey threw back his head and laughed.
"I'm empty!" he crowed, throwing his hands up into the air, "I'm empty, Nina! So light, so insubstantial. All you see is her now, all you see is her!"
Nina shrank back from the madness gleaming in Sergey's eyes. For a moment, she considered running for a doctor, but just as her legs succumbed to the thought, the light blinked out. Sergey collapsed heavily into the chair, defeated.
"I'm happy for you, Nina. I really am. So long as you're happy, I'll be fine."
He said this to his chest. He couldn't bear to look at her, at the one precious thing in his life, the thing he'd just lost.
"So go. And tell Erstin that she's got my blessings, and that she's one lucky girl, to have you."
"Sergey... Thank you."
He looked up and grinned, though it seemed strained.
"No problem. We're still friends, right?"
"Of course."
"Good."
Nina stood there for a moment more, looking at her former husband, his sad smile, his forgiving eyes. She let a tear slip through.
"Thank you, Sergey. Thank you."
She faded away from him.
x x x
Knock.
Knock.
Knockknockknockknockknock.
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK.
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK.
"SHIZURU GODDAMN IT, OPEN THE DOOR!"
Shizuru was standing at the door already, since the first series of knocks had started. She was standing there now, her back leaning against the oak frame, her face tilted upwards, her eyes terribly clear.
"SHIZURU! FUJINO SHIZURU, OPEN UP!"
She knew that voice. Would have known it anywhere, at any time. It was that voice that she heard in her dreams, saying things she'd wished for it to say since she'd first met Natsuki Kruger 10 years ago. Her dreams had never come true.
"GODDAMN IT, SHIZURU! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"
Her world was shattering, one little piece at a time. Natsuki was the one breaking the hanging pieces off.
"SHIZURU!"
'Natsuki...'
"SHIZURU!"
She flung open the door.
They stood there, facing each other, looking through the doorframe.
"Natsuki."
"Shizuru."
"I... I just woke up. I'm sorry for making you wait. Please, come in."
"Cut the crap, Shizuru."
She looked at her best friend, surprised.
"I'm... sorry?"
"What do you want me to do, Shizuru? I don't understand, I can't understand. You say you want to be my friend forever, to stay by my side, and yet...!"
Shizuru stayed silent.
"And yet..."
Shizuru stayed silent.
"I love you, Shizuru."
She felt her world shatter into nothing, the dust of it gathering at her feet.
"You... lie." she whispered.
Natsuki shook her head, her blue locks swishing from side to side.
"I'm not."
"You pity me," Shizuru hissed, "You just want me to feel better. Did Nina set you up for this?"
"No. No!"
"She did. She told you to come, so that I wouldn't feel so bad. Is that what this is?"
"No!"
"Then what is this! What is this, Natsuki! 10 years, 10 long years and nothing. Then, all of a sudden-! I don't understand! Is it what I said to you from before, when I was driving you to the hospital? Are you feeling bad?"
"NO!"
"NATSUKI, I CAN'T-!"
She was silenced as Natsuki threw her arms around her and kissed her. For a moment, Shizuru couldn't believe what was happening. Their friendship had become so strained over the last few months, ever since Shizuru had tried to kiss Natsuki during their friendly Valentine's date. They'd been drunk. She'd wanted to for so long. Natsuki had panicked and had run away. They'd stopped talking.
Yet now...
They broke apart, gasping for air. Natsuki's face was extremely flushed. She backed away from a flustered Shizuru.
"What can't you do, Shizuru?"
Natsuki's hand ran up and down Shizuru's back, soothing her.
"I can't... I can't believe this."
Natsuki smiled.
"Believe it."
"What... what made you change your mind?"
Natsuki leaned in and kissed Shizuru again, a gentle kiss that lasted for a moment. Shizuru felt herself melting into Natsuki's strong arms.
"Nina. Nina and her love for Erstin."
"I don't understand..."
"Nina showed me what it's like to love someone and miss the opportunity to be with them. I guess the thought of losing you and never being able to tell you that I love you kind of scared me into finally admitting it."
Shizuru smiled and snuggled her head into the crook of Natsuki's neck.
"So you admit it, then."
"Yes."
Shizuru's smile widened.
"Tell Nina I said thank you."
It was Natsuki's turn to smile.
"I will. Now can we please go in?"
"Yes," Shizuru laughed, disentangling herself from Natsuki, "yes we can."
"Good. I'm tired. Your pajamas are in the bottom drawer, right?"
Her heart felt like it was going to burst with joy.
"Yes. But you don't have to sleep in any, you know."
"... Shizuru!"
x x x
Erstin lay on the hospital bed and stared up at the sterile white ceiling.
"I'm dying, aren't I."
Nina, who was sitting at Erstin's bedside, immediately reacted, shaking her head.
"Erstin, no! Don't say things like that."
Erstin smiled blearily up from her bed. The tears were flowing again.
"I feel so weak, Nina-chan. Are you there?"
"I'm here," Nina whispered through her own tears. She reached to wipe the sadness from Erstin's pale white cheeks, "I'm here."
"It's ironic, isn't it? I manage to finally have you, all of you, and then God comes and wants to take me away."
"Erstin... No..."
Nina couldn't speak anymore. It hurt too much to do anything except hold Erstin as close as possible. She was fading away, Nina knew it. She just didn't want to believe it. Not yet.
"Nina-chan, promise me something."
"...What?"
Erstin smiled up at the ceiling. She couldn't move her head anymore, she couldn't turn to look at her lover.
"Promise me you'll move on. Promise me you'll never forget, but you'll move on when the right person comes along."
"No... No."
"Promise me, Nina-chan."
"There won't be anyone else. Not after you. No-one can ever be the right person, because only you are."
"I'm not. I'm causing you so much pain. It's good that I'm going."
"It's not!"
Erstin chuckled and winced in pain as the vibrations wracked her weak body.
"It is. It hurts, Nina-chan. I want it to stop hurting."
"I'll make it stop hurting, Ers. Stay with me, I'll make it stop."
"You can't. As magical as you are, you can't make this stop. It's too much, even for you."
"It's not! I can make it stop, Ers. I can. I will!"
"I know. But don't do it, Nina-chan. I don't deserve it."
Erstin closed her eyes.
"Open your eyes, Ers! Please!" Nina whispered, her hand grasping Erstin's desperately.
"I've got to go, Nina. Soon. Just let me rest a bit for now."
"No... No. If you close your eyes, you won't open them again. I'm so afraid that if you close your eyes, you won't be able to open them again! You've got to stay awake, Ers!"
"I... can't. I'm so tired."
"I'm tired too, Ers, but I'm not giving up. Don't you give up. Don't give up on me, Ers."
"Giving up..." Erstin smiled, "that's it, isn't it? Giving up."
"Don't do this, Ers..."
"I suppose there's really only one thing in the world that I really want, before I go."
"You're not going anywhere, Ers. You've got plenty of time to do the things you want to do. Remember how you wanted to go to Paris? Well, I've booked us a 2 week vacation for next month. We'll go to Paris and stay there, and we'll have all the fun in the world. Then we can go to Tokyo, or Vancouver to see the national parks, or..."
Nina couldn't talk anymore. The tears had overwhelmed her.
"... Paris?" Erstin whispered, her voice weak, "I really want to go to Paris. But Nina-chan, you should unbook the trip. It's no fun paying for two people when only one person's going."
"You're... you're going too, Ers. You're going too!"
"I'm... not. I'm going somewhere else, where I'll be able to see you and watch over you, but not talk to you, or hold you, or kiss you. I'll be up there and you can pray to me whenever you need to tell me something, and I'll hear you. I'll be almighty. I'll be your goddess."
"Erstin, don't joke about this..."
"I'm not, Nina-chan. I'm not. I'll watch over you, I promise."
"Ers...!"
"I've got to go now. Say bye to my parents for me, will you? And tell Natsuki that she has my congratulations when she finally proposes to Shizuru."
"Stop it, Erstin! Stop this!"
"I love you, Nina-chan. I always will. Pray to me sometimes, will you?"
"Erstin! Stop this, Erstin!"
"I can't see anymore... That's okay though. I know you're beautiful, no matter what."
"ERSTIN!"
"It's stopped hurting. I guess God's here to come pick me up."
"ERSTIN!"
"Don't forget me, Nina-chan. Move on, but please, don't forget me. I... I..."
"ERS! ERSTIN!"
"I... love you, Nina."
Her hand dropped. The machine began to beep in a steady tone as her line flattened on the screen.
The last words that Nina could utter before her world faded to temporarily blackness, the last words that she managed to utter before Erstin slipped away, they parted from her dry, chapped lips at three hundred and forty metres per second.
Three four zero point two nine metres per second.
But that wasn't enough. The 'I love you', the one last 'I love you' that Nina could ever say to Erstin never reached Erstin's ears. It hung in the heavy hospital air and pushed against Erstin's physical being, but the Erstin inside had passed from existence before those words could reach her.
340.29 m/s.
The speed of sound.
Not fast enough.