If I Could Say What I Want To Say…
Chapter 7 – I Don't Cry
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha but let me tell you if I could think up an elaborate scheme that just might work I would try it….
Inuyasha groaned loudly, turning from his side onto his stomach and covering her sensitive ears with his pillow hoping desperately that it would act as a barrier between him and that wench's room where he could clearly hear sobbing.
It had been nearly forty-five minutes since she had stomped out of his room declaring that she hated him in a voice that had almost made him feel afraid of her. First she had struggled to get the two suitcases he had left at the door over to the bed.
He was almost positive that she would have succeeded had she not tripped over the first one she had moved, but then again with someone as unorthodox as her you could never tell. After she tripped causing her suitcase to spill all of it contents she threw a little tantrum throwing heavens only knows what around, all the while screaming out of frustration. The anger he could understand, he was feeling pretty angry himself. After her anger subsided he had watched slightly amused on his computer screen as she tried over and over again to remove the bracelet. After nearly ten minutes of receiving repeated shocks she stopped and he assumed she would be much calmer and just, however reluctantly, return to unpacking allowing him to go back to sleep. What he hadn't expected was for her to start sniffling, and for the sniffling to turn into muffled sobs. She'd been crying for nearly ten minutes now, she had to be almost done, didn't she?
There were very few times he cursed being part demon, fewer yet he actually wished he was human, this however was one of them. If there was one thing more that he hated more than his brother it was having to listen to women cry. That sound to him was worse than any other, and for a hanyou with super-sensitive ears that was saying something. Nails against a chalk board merely made him cringe, a new violinist was just enough to make him close his eyes, a women's tears however made him want to just curl up into a small ball and die. Muffled sobs like the one's coming from Kagome's room were the worst though; they brought back all the memories of his mother. He had tried turning the stereo on in a futile attempt to block the unwelcome sound out, nor could it stop the unwanted memories that came flooding back.
The unexpected news of his father's death had devastated his mother, even though he had only been five at the time he could still remember that night as clearly as if it had just happened a week ago. It had been a Thursday and his father had gone to work his only nightshift, his mother had put him to bed as usual and then customarily stayed up to wait for him. It had been close to two in the morning when the door bell had gone off and upon waking Inuyasha instantly knew something was wrong; his father never rang the door bell. Getting up he had walked out of his room and to the top of the staircase where he had a clear view of his mother talking with his father's best friend who happened to be Miroku's father. The man said something that Inuyasha hadn't understood at the time and his mother suddenly crumpled to the floor sobbing. Miroku's father had knelt down beside knowing nothing he could say would lessen the pain. Silently he had knelt beside her and looping his hand around her waist helped her too her feet. When Miroku's father had lead her into the kitchen to fix her something to drink, Inuyasha unable to go back to bed had trundled down the stairs holding his stuffed dog.
"Mommy?" he asked pausing in the doorway of the kitchen. "What's wrong mommy?"
Upon seeing her son standing there Izayoi began to cry louder and bent down and hugged him sobbing hysterically into his silver hair.
That hadn't been the last time she cried either, his mother had cried herself to sleep for nearly a year after that night. Inuyasha could remember how he always fell asleep wishing he could somehow heal her pain but….he never would.
Flopping over onto his back he looked up at the ceiling, as much as he hated to admit it he kind of felt bad for being so mean. But she would have to get used to it, he wasn't supposed to be her best friend, he was supposed to be her body guard. If he allowed himself to be nice to her she would distract him from his duty. If she got hurt it would mean the end of his career as a police officer and he needed his badge to capture Naraku. He wouldn't let an upset girl get in the way of that, he owed Kikyo that.
His hatred for Naraku was the only thing that kept him going, was the only thing that stopped him from purposely not dodging the bullets constantly being fired at him. Sighing heavily Inuyasha thought about how similar both Kagome and Kikyo looked, both had long black hair and similar facial features… Though they would never be mistaken for twins they could easily be mistaken for sisters. have been not 'could'. Kikyo was dead, something he never seemed to be able to forget.
Maybe that was why he hated this arrangement so much, Inuyasha thought. He hated it because he knew that everyday he was going to have to see someone who reminded him of Kikyo, who brought back all the guilt and all the suffering.
Looking past the arm covering his face at the door Inuyasha decided if she didn't stop in five minutes he would get up.
Sixty…fifty-nine….fifty-eight….fifty-seven…
He paused to see if she had stopped crying yet; she hadn't.
Fifty-six…fifty-seven…wait fifty-five…fifty-four …
Had she stopped yet? Nope.
Fifty-three…fifty-two…
He wasn't going to make five minutes. Two minutes then, he could last two measly minutes!
Fifty-one…fifty…forty- damn it! That's it.
Throwing the covers off him, Inuyasha got to his feet and went and unlocked the door. There she was crying in the middle of the floor with her back to him. "Would you mind keeping it down a bit? Some of us are trying to sleep," he demanded.
He saw her startle and hurriedly wipe her eyes with her sleeve. "What are you talking about I wasn't crying," she said gruffly the small sniffle betraying her.
"Yeeeaaah, sure," Inuyasha replied her comment gaining her an iota of his respect, something very rare. "And I'm your fairy god mother."
"I was not crying I said," Kagome repeated adamantly rising to her feet and dusting herself off. "You must be imagining things." Looking him in the eye she said very firmly enunciating every word, "I don't cry."
"Yeah whatever you say wench," Inuyasha said. "I just came over here to make sure you didn't break anything in that little temper tantrum you threw earlier. Because if so you're paying for it."
"Nothing broke," Kagome muttered turning her pink face away. Suddenly something occurred to her, the fact he was in her room he assumed as she started screaming loudly at him. "Just what do you think you're doing! What are you doing in here! This is my room! Get out! Get OUT!"
"I can come in here whenever I want," Inuyasha replied a quirk of a smile appearing on his face. And to prove his point flopped down on her bed.
"No you can't!" Kagome screamed infuriated by his response. "I won't let you take over my room!" She grabbed his shoulder and forced him to his feet with strength he would never guessed she possessed by the way she struggled to lift her suitcases. As she pushed him towards the door he saw tears glinting at the corners of her eyes. He considered letting her push him through but he knew he wouldn't be able to take the crying any longer.
Planting his feet firmly Inuyasha grasped her shoulders and shook her, "stop this! You're hysterical."
"You won't take this from me! I won't let you!" She was full out sobbing now pounding fiercely on his chest with her two tiny fists to let her go. "You won't take the only thing I have left to call my own away!"
Inuyasha stood momentarily stunned by her outburst, where had this come from! Why was she getting so emotional and just what the hell was she blabbing on about! In the back of his mind he felt her clasp his shirt in her two hands and cry passionately. "I don't want to be a prisoner." Collapsing against him still clutching his shirt she cried over and over again, "I don't want to be a prisoner."
The spell her tears had woven on him broke when he heard those words. Prisoner? Did she think she was a prisoner? Looking down at the frail woman before her, he suddenly recalled her words that day in the parking lot before he had discovered the bomb.
"You mean we could go eat out wherever I wanted? And do what ever I wanted for a night?" A smile lit up Kagome face and her eyes reflected their delight. "Really you mean it!"
"I already said sure," Inuyasha said awkwardly starting to walk again. "Do I need to say it again?"
"No," Kagome said falling into pace beside him. Why did the fact that she did that make him feel uncomfortable? "It's just that," she said quietly, "at home I almost never get to choose what I get to do. Can we go to a movie and maybe go shopping and eat at somewhere really greasy?"
Kagome he said touching her arm lightly, "please stop crying."
"I have every right in the world to cry!" She sobbed shaking his fiercely. "I've never had much freedom but now I have none! I'm nothing but a prisoner! This horrible room is my jail and you're my jailer! I thought coming here I might be able to have more freedom than I did in Japan because no one would recognize me. But no poor little miss Kagome will never be able to escape because you had to come and highjack my car and now I have someone out to murder me and I have to be watched every single second of every single day. I'm not allowed to see my father until that man's caught and have to wear and ugly bracelet and live in a room that really needs Martha Stewart."
The last comment made Inuyasha snort, and roll his eyes but looking down at Kagome he realised that she was somewhat calmer after that outburst. "Well better all of that out than in," he said in a strangely gentle voice.
Hiccupping Kagome looked up at him and in her eyes he saw the complete and utter despair that filled them. She was like some exotic bird, no a bird didn't do those huge doe eyes justice. She was like a…..oh hell he was never good with words. Looking around her room, he could see what she meant about it needing Martha Steward it was pretty plain for someone unused to the whiteness. Somehow before he even knew what he was doing he found himself saying "if it's really that horrible I can ask if you could paint it. They might make an exception to the rule for you."
Kagome gave a small hiccup and blinked a couple of times. "What?" she asked confused.
"Your room," Inuyasha repeated. "I said I'd ask if you could paint it."
Kagome was taken back by that and after a moment murmured thank you and gently let go of his shirt. "I'm sorry about that I normally never cry."
"I thought it was "I never cry"," Inuyasha joked.
"Up until now I haven't cried in close to five years," Kagome glowered. "So sue me for getting emotional."
"I would have a chance of winning," Inuyasha said in mock thoughtfulness and grinned trying vainly to get a smile out of her. Seeing the beginning of a smile he went on. "You did yell pretty loud, one of my eardrums might have ruptured. And tsk tsk tsk you pushed me pretty hard too I might have bruises, not to mention you reduced my favorite shirt to a wet soppy mess."
A small giggled escaped Kagome and she grinned, sniffling. "It's not ruined, it was only a few tears."
"A few tears," Inuyasha exclaimed indignantly. "More like a monsoon!"
Laughing Kagome rested her head momentarily against his chest and heard her whisper, "I knew you weren't a monster."
Looking down at her Inuyasha smiled but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "You might think differently about me if you every found out I'm part demon," Inuyasha thought grimly.
To be continued….
Author's Note: well here's another chapter really nice fast updates ne? Please review!
Phantomoftheflame: oh you have no need to fear me making Ayame a weakling! She's one of my absolute favorite characters! She'll probably be very similar to what I've portrayed her as in Love Comes to Those Who Wait (my KougaAyame story). I'm so glad you stumbled upon my story!
sirin of darkness: lol could that movie have been the Pacifier? Because if so I admit I'm guilty of using that scene as my inspiration….well I'm glad you liked the new chapter
aly88: yay thank you very much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked.
anglenodarkness: oh my gosh I'm so sorry was I supposed to e-mail you when I posted new chapters! If so I apologize most profusely! I feel so bad! Most terribly sorry! Please forgive me and not hate me….
gossa: I feel so honored that I'm on your author alert! (sniffles) thank you! Hope you like the new chapter!
the myth keeper: yep and here's another chapter! Hope you enjoy how fast I'm working to update! Thanx for reviewing!
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