If I Could Say What I Want to Say
Chapter 9 - Spiders
"Soooooo?" Inuyasha asked.
"Soooooooooo what?" Kagome said.
"So what exactly did you talk about for the three flippin hours you were in there?" Inuyasha asked not moving his eyes away from the TV.
"Oh nothing really," Kagome replied evasively. "Just stuff."
"Stuff," Inuyasha echoed blandly. "How can anyone talk about nothing for three hours?"
"Oh you know what I mean," Kagome sighed irately. "Now please will you get up and let me into my own room. I would like to get changed."
"I'm sure you would," Inuyasha replied. He shot an annoyed glance at the door, just how long could he keep her out there with out her throwing a little tantrum. She'd been waiting for nearly five minutes now, but the first three didn't really count because he hadn't heard her. Like come on, even with demon hearing he hadn't been able to hear that soft knock, and the way she had tentatively called his name could have easily have been mistaken for the wind.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome called out uncertainly. "I'm sorry."
Inuyasha's head whipped around at that one. Looking up angrily at the ceiling, Inuyasha sighed, why did women always manage to give him guilt trips? Kagome oblivious to Inuyasha's defeat kept talking.
"I don't know why you're angry at me, but whatever I did to annoy you I'm sorry," Kagome said. "I-"
She stopped the second the door opened to reveal a very angry looking Inuyasha. "Why the hell are you apologizing?" he demanded.
Kagome took a startled step back but then her eyes narrowed angrily. "Well sorry," she said sarcastically, "for thinking that perhaps you were upset!"
"I don't get upset," Inuyasha said, "over stupid things like tea parties."
"Well then tell me who exactly shoved a spoon up your but this morning," Kagome growled breezing past him as she walked to the door joining their two rooms. "I'd love to beat them up."
Inuyasha simply sighed when she slammed the door, he beginning to think he was going to need to replace those hinges very soon if she kept up all that door slamming.
"She'll be back in a couple minutes wanting me to do something else for her," Inuyasha grumbled settling back down to watch TV. "Just wait and see, and am I going to do it? One answer, no."
"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked popping her head through the door not even five minutes later. "What did you do with my clothes?"
"I haven't touched your clothes," Inuyasha said. "I'm sorry but I'm not your maid. I refuse to unpack for you."
"Not the clothes in my suitcase," Kagome said. "The clothes with the spider in them!"
"Oh those clothes," Inuyasha said rolling his eyes, what exactly did she think he was a mind reader? "I would presume they're still in the bathroom where you left them."
"What!" Kagome squeaked. "You mean you didn't do anything with that spider?"
"Why should I?" Inuyasha asked. "They're your clothes not mine."
"But I can't go get them," Kagome protested, "please the spider might still be in them!"
"Soooo," Inuyasha drawled.
"You've got to go get them for me!" Kagome argued.
"Give me one good reason why," Inuyasha said.
"Miroku and Sango have headed out to the office by now and Ayame went back to sleep," Kagome said.
"So why don't you just shake them out yourself and run back here?" Inuyasha asked, she really was a pain in the butt. First she woke him up early to help her haul her luggage, then she got all emotional on him, next thing he knows she's screaming like Naraku was murdering her, then she spends three hours with Sango and Ayame doing female bonding 'stuff', she demands I get up to let her in and now she wants me to go shake a spider out of her clothes. If he didn't his foot down he was going to turn into her servant.
"Please won't you just go get them for me?' Kagome pleaded. "I'm terrified of spiders!"
"No," Inuyasha said and waited for the angry spoiled temper tantrum.
"Why not?" Kagome demanded. "If you were scared of something I'd be more than willing to help you!"
"Well I'm not you," Inuyasha replied.
"Please Inuyasha."
"No."
"Please?"
"No"
"Please."
"No."
"Pleeeeeeease."
"Nooooooo."
"Please Inuyasha," Kagome said. "You're just being difficult!"
"Bingo!" Inuyasha said putting on his best bingo man voice. "Looks like we've got us a smart one!"
"Please Inuyasha!" Kagome said changing her tone so there was a slight tremor of desperation.
"Look," Inuyasha said taking his eyes off the TV so he could look at her. "I'm not your servant; I'm your body guard. I'm not going to jump up like some dog every time you want me to do something for you. If you want to survive living with me you're going to need to start being a little more independent and stop acting like such a little princess."
"Fine!" Kagome said angrily throwing a pillow at him angrily. "You know what I will go get my own clothes! But if I get bitten by that spider and it's poisonous and I die, it'll be on your conscience!"
"Where exactly does she think she is?" Inuyasha grumbled watching her stuff another throw pillow in the door before she left, smart kid. "The Amazon?"
Settling back down he turned his eyes back to Tom & Jerry though his ears were twitching waiting to hear Kagome return. Five minutes later she still wasn't back and Inuyasha was beginning to wonder if she'd been kidnapped or something like that so with a reluctant sigh he got up and opened the door and headed down to the bathroom. He spied her instantly, she was taking deep steadying breaths and then opening them to walk into the bathroom only for her to retreat second later.
Leaning against the wall lazy Inuyasha coughed once to get her attention. Instantly Kagome whirled around startled.
"I wasn't aware you were a Lamaze instructor," Inuyasha chuckled.
"Oh shut up Inuyasha this is hard enough as it is without you making snide comments," Kagome glowered.
"Why don't you just get it over with," Inuyasha said. "All you're doing is wasting your life away, you have to conquer your fear. If not you'll be running away from spiders for the rest of your life."
"Well excuse me if I see no problem in having a rational fear of spiders," Kagome snapped. "We can't all be like the all powerful and mighty Inuyasha who isn't afraid of anything."
Inuyasha smiled wryly, you had to give the girl points for pluck. She really didn't back down when she was mad. However that smug grin was too much for Kagome, drawing courage from her anger she strode bolding forward and gasped her jeans. She held them for a full three seconds before she let them go like they had burned her. Struggling to control her breathing Kagome closed her eyes imagining the smirk Inuyasha must have plastered on his smug face right now.
You can do this Kagome, she thought, you can do it! All you have to do is grab those jeans shake them out twice and then grab your shirt and shake it out and then grab your bra and shake that out! Three pieces of clothing you can do it!
Taking shuddering breath Kagome opened her eyes and made sure she didn't look at Inuyasha stepping forward she grabbed her jeans again and holding them firmly shook them out two times really fast and then clutched them to her chest. Grinning triumphantly Kagome looked over at Inuyasha who looked at her stonily for a moment and then gave a small nod of encouragement.
Elated by her success Kagome confidently reached forward to grab her shirt but the second she touched it the spider scuttled out of one of the sleeves causing Kagome to yelp and jump back a good two feet in terror. Terrified Kagome turned around and closed her eyes trying to stop trembling.
I can't do this, she thought, I just can't! Why is he being so mean? Does he enjoy watching me suffer? Stupid baka this is all his fault! Why can't he simply just get my clothes for me?
Suddenly she felt an odd weight on one shoulder and looked up to see Inuyasha had placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"If you want me to do it I will," Inuyasha said. "It's up to you."
That's an odd thing to say, Kagome said, of course I want him to get rid of that spider. She was about to nod and say thank you when suddenly she realized that no, she wanted to do it herself.
It was impossible to forget that feeling of joy when she had shaken her jeans out, she wanted to be able to say she had handled it all by herself. So instead of nodding she shook her head and without saying a word turned around and reached out and paused momentarily when she saw the spider sitting there, but she quickly grabbed hold of the shirt and shook it firmly causing the spider to go flying. Quickly once she had done that she grabbed her bra and shook it out too just to make sure there hadn't been two spiders. Clutching her clothes tightly to get chest, Kagome dashed past Inuyasha into the hall where she immediately slumped up against the wall.
Looking at her and then at the spider on the floor, Inuyasha slowly moved forward to grab a glass and one of the magazines on the back of the toilet. Slowly he put the glass over the spider and then slid the cover of the magazine under the glass effectively trapping the spider. Walking past Kagome to the window Inuyasha gently tapped the spider out onto the window ledge and closed the window.
"There," Inuyasha said putting a hand on her shoulder once more. "The spider's gone now."
"I did it," Kagome said her voice wavered but there was an unmistakable tone of pride. "I did it."
"Yep, and now you'll know what to do next time," Inuyasha said. "That way you won't have to scream again and dash out wearing nothing but a towel."
Kagome grinned at that. "Thanks," she said after a moment.
"Don't thank me, I didn't do anything," Inuyasha said turning around and beginning to walk back to his room.
"No thank you though for helping me realize I should conquer my fear," Kagome explained catching up with him still possessively clutching her clothes.
"Oh that," Inuyasha said. "I just nudged you in the right direction is all."
"I wondered at first why you asked me again if I wanted you to do it," Kagome admitted. "But I think I understand now."
Inuyasha made no response; he had no idea what she expected him to say to that!
"For a minute there I thought you were going to say you did want me to get rid of it, you surprised me when you shook your head," Inuyasha admitted.
"Why didn't you kill it?" Kagome asked as they reached their rooms.
"Inuyasha, one two three," Inuyasha said placing his hand on the gel pad. Opening the door for her, Inuyasha stepped back to allow her to get past him. "I was hoping to go the office in a little while if you wouldn't mind," he said gruffly. "So maybe if you could manage to be ready in the next hour I'd appreciate that."
"Will Sango and Ayame be there?" Kagome asked.
"Sango probably will," Inuyasha said. "Ayame's probably gone back to sleep though, not that she ever comes into the office. She prefers to work here."
"What exactly does she do?" Kagome asked. "I didn't want to ask."
"She's the computer expert," Inuyasha said. "She's in charge of all the security, rooms here and in the office."
"She must be pretty good with computers then," Kagome observed.
"Pretty good is an understatement," Inuyasha chuckled. "Try watching her type sometime. Her hands are a blur on the keyboard. And the stuff she's typing isn't "see spot run" either, most of it is in computer codes."
"Do you think she'd let me come watch her work sometime?" Kagome asked.
"I'm sure she would," Inuyasha said. "Actually that might work out well, perhaps I can ask her whether she could use any help with her paper work, if you don't mind being a secretary for a few hours that is."
"I'd enjoy that," Kagome smiled.
"Me too," Inuyasha grinned right back. "A little break from you where I can go do what I want and know you'll be in safer hands. Even Sesshomaru couldn't complain if I left you with Ayame, you'd be safer in her room than anywhere I took you. Scratch that, you'd be safer in her room than you would be if we shipped you to the moon."
"Why's that?" Kagome asked.
"If you think the security for your room is high tech you should see what Ayame's got rigged up for hers," Inuyasha said.
"Why does a computer specialist need such high security?"
"Ayame's a ex-hacker," Inuyasha explained knowing that Ayame wouldn't mind him telling Kagome. He was actually surprised she hadn't mentioned it herself. Normally she told people she liked minutes into her first conversation with them. Ayame obviously liked Kagome so there should be no problem with Inuyasha telling her. Kagome hadn't mentioned anything about Ayame not liking her and people could always tell if or when Ayame did not like them. "Let's just say Ayame wasn't exactly the most law abiding citizen," Inuyasha said slowly. "She put a few people in jail that would be more than happy to have her killed."
"How's she get to be on the police force then?" Kagome asked intrigued.
"She got in a bit of a trouble a few years back," Inuyasha said. "Something to do with a so called friend of hers was using her younger sister to blackmail her so that she'd hack into bank accounts and get money."
"Oh my gosh," Kagome breathed. "What happened to her sister?"
"Ayame was unable to hack one of the codes and so her sister was killed to punish her," Inuyasha said softly. "I think that's what woke Ayame up to the danger she was in. She realized that wasn't the life she wanted, so she came to us. She confessed that she was a hacker and so we had no choice but to put her in jail for the things she admitted to doing. She however gave us enough evidence against the man who killed her sister for us to track him down and put him in jail as well. Sesshomaru cut a deal with her after we caught the guy, he said she had two options she could spend the next five of her life in jail or she could work for the police force and they would review her file after the five years. If she was good they would offer her a permanent job or let her go, needless to say Ayame chose the second option."
"So she was a hacker?" Kagome said. "Wow she seemed so normal I never would have expected that! I didn't even have a clue she was so good with computers."
"Yeah, Ayame's one of the best out there," Inuyasha bragged. "She was a real catch, I don't think even Sesshomaru regrets giving her the chance to redeem herself. She's one of the hardest working and smartest people I know."
"Not to mention nicest," Kagome added. "I really like her. It's too bad about her sister though."
"Yeah," Inuyasha said. "I don't think Ayame's ever really forgiven herself for that."
"So how many years ago was this?" Kagome asked.
"About four and a half now," Inuyasha replied.
"FOUR!" Kagome yelped "But Ayame's only a few years older than me! That would mean she was like fifteen when that happened."
"Scary isn't it," Inuyasha said thoughtfully. "We didn't believe her at first, she actually had to hack into police files to leave us a message on our computer screens the next morning before we believed her."
"But I thought you said she was one of the best!" Kagome exclaimed. "How could a fifteen year old girl be one of the best hackers? It's just so unbelievable!"
"Ayame said something about computers and her just click," Inuyasha said grinning wryly. Kagome had no idea Ayame was a demon or she never would have said that. "According to what she told me she learned to use one when she was ten. Not even a year later she learned how to effectively hack into school computers so that she could change her grades. The more time she spent on the computer the better she got hacking into other people's computers. Eventually she was good enough she was hacking government files."
"Wow," Kagome breathed. "That's amazing."
"You're telling me," Inuyasha grinned. "I'm just glad she's on our side!"
"Yeah," Kagome agreed. "Definatly."
"Well I'd love to spend all day talking about Ayame's past but I would like to go to the office sometime today," Inuyasha said after a moment of silence. "Think you can be ready in an hour?"
"I think I can manage that," Kagome smiled. But as Inuyasha moved to close the door she said, "by the way you never did answer my question."
"Which question?'
"The one about why you didn't kill that spider?" Kagome reminded him.
"Oh, that one," Inuyasha looked away from her gaze before replying. "Spiders have a reputation of being these evil little monsters but in my opinion I think the reason so many people are afraid of spiders more because of their bad reputation than because they actually fear the spider itself. If you take the time to study spiders they're actually pretty cool creatures, its because so many people don't know anything about them they're so afraid, and then they justify their cruelty by saying they were afraid and that it was evil and deserved to die. I don't think spiders are evil they're just doing what they were born to do, and they were unlucky to get such bad publicity."
Kagome blinked once and then said simply, "wow."
"What does 'wow' mean?" Inuyasha grumbled.
"It's nothing really I'm just amazed at how thoughtful and insightful that was. I've never thought of spiders like that," Kagome said and then grinned. "Also I think that's the longest thing you've said to me so far."
Inuyasha grinned at that and then said, "so, you'll be ready in an hour?"
"Probably sooner," Kagome said. "I'll knock on your door when I'm ready to go ok?"
"Sounds good," Inuyasha said shutting her door. As Kagome walked over to her suitcase to fish out her brush, she glanced curiously at the door. Maybe it was just her, but it sounded like there was more to that little more to that speech than just spiders. Perhaps Inuyasha at one point had felt like he was that spider….
Author's Note: well here is the deliciously anticipated next chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it, I know I did. I just love writing about Ayame, I've kind of modelled her after myself, minus my brown hair and blue eyes that is. LoL ;) Well please review, love you all and lets just all cross our fingers and hope that Howl's Moving Castle wins best animated feature tomorrow night at the Oscars or you will have a severely depressed author on your hands people.