A.N First off I want to say WHOA. I guess that last chapter really got your attention hey. The reviews flooded in for that one. I know a lot of you have been fairly confused by what has been happening thus far and to be honest that has been kind of deliberate so I hope you can forgive me. But I amabout to start letting you in on the secrets that they've been keeping.SoI hope the build up has been worth it. Now on another note I just want to say a huge thankyou to everyone who has wrote in about my job situation. You guys don't even know me and your support has been overwhelming so thanks so much. You'll never know how much I appreciate it. At this stage I have a temp job for the next week so I honestly don't know whether I'll have access to a computer or not as it will be a live in position but I will do my damnedest to get some more updates up but if I can't then I'll just make sure I have lots of chapters wrote and ready to post when I do get access again. So enjoy the latest chapter and you will probably find that you get a couple more today. Ok I know this is turning into a marathon authors note but I just had to make one more small note. The name of Haley's baby is one that I've gotten from a major news story that is taking place in Australia. It is meant as a tribute and a form of support and I really hope no one takes offence.
heather dawn I did try to warn you all that there were some major twists to come in this story. It certainly seems to have the desired effect judging by the reviews I have been recieving. This chapter should hopefully answer your questions and as for the update well I had to wait at least a little while for people to have a chance to read and review.
Britt Ok you're going to have to help me out here because I have no idea what kk means in your review. I'm getting old I can't help it. I'm glad that I was able to still surprise you guys with the whole not knowing who the father was. Just making her pregnant would have been a little too mainstream for one of my stories. It will be interesting to hear what you think of the full story behind her pregnancy in this chapter. Thanx for the review. You keep up the reviews and I'll be happy to continue with the updates. LOL.
HipHopper92 You've got to love a bit of scandal well at least I do and I hope you feel the same way considering what else is to come in this story. As long as I keep getting reviews from you I can forgive you for being busy. (I guess) LOL. Thanx for the good luck message. Trust me I need all the luck I can get right now. I hate job hunting.
Jenna Well your questions are about to be answered I hope you're ready for this. I guess at least as fat as addictions go this one is healthier than some. Now you're making me feel like a drug dealer feeding your addictions. Glad you're still enjoying it.
sammyjo5678 I'm glad that I did manage to surprise some people. But the shocks don't end there so hold onto your seats because there is some definite turbulence ahead. I'm really glad that you're enjoying this story so much.
cherrymfzb I'm glad you enjoyed the story of their engagement. I did try to tell everyone after that other chapter that Tim had a part to play in this story and now you are all about to find out exactly what it is. I can't wait to readyour new story about how Naley got together. Are you still going to continue Eggs Over Easy? I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next with it.
MeSpikeAndAngelinA3sum Ok so I'm sensing a slight degree of shock about the ending of the last chapter. Don't know what is giving me that impression. LOL. I figured the story of their engagement would be a nice little filler for that chapter so I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I wish I could say that I'll definitely be able to continue updating next week but at this stage I honestly don't know.
famousindafuture So I'm guessing I managed to surprise you with the ending of the last chapter. Hope you're ready for some more surprises as the story progresses.
hilaryhilary Have to say I'm feeling a slight sense of relief that you arehalf way across the world from me.Do you always threaten the writers of stories you review? LOL. Anyway yes congratulations you did get a bit of an inkling as to what was about to happen but don't get too cocky I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. Enjoy the anger management classes.
catc20 She's back. I was wondering what had happened to you.Figured you just got bored waiting for my updates and moved on to some other story. I always love getting your reviews you are one of the ones I can count on to leave lengthy reviews going into details about what it isthat you enjoyed.As much as I appreciate all my reviewers it gets a bit hard to know what it is I'm doing right or wrong when the comments are a bitinnocuous.So yes welcome back. Anyway I know I have made things a touch confusing but it was basically just a lame attempt toperk people's curiosityso they would continue reading. But finally with so many questionsswimming around everyone's heads I am starting to give some answers. Oh and in answer to your question about Brooke and Lucas sharing the gossip that was just Lucas telling Brooke aboutJosh being in town. So that's one less mystery you have to worry about. This chapter should answer your questions about Haley's baby too and its parentage and lets just say that Nathan's reaction is anything but bland. Thanx so much for the birthday wishes and the support about my job situation. What can I say sometimes life is shit which isa good reason to lose myself in the lives of Nate, Haley and evenJosh even though everyone seems to hate him. Gee can't imagine why. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the chapters to come.
unfolddreamThought it was about time I finished a chapter on a cliffhanger again. Things have all been a bit too nice and calm. Time for drama. This chapter should hopefully answer all your questions about the baby and its daddy. Nathan is a cocky bastard isn't he but hey that's why we love him well at least why I do.
Chapter Twenty-four.
Her words seemed to reverberate throughout the room playing over and over in his mind. "I was pregnant and I didn't know who the father was?"
Surely I must have misheard her she couldn't have said what I thought she did. Haley wouldn't have cheated on me.
When his voice came it was almost wooden.
"What do you mean?"
The sound of his voice so quiet and almost eerily calm sent a shiver down her spine. She was used to hearing Nathan yell when something upset him but to hear him so quiet in his reaction to what must have been such devastating news scared her more than all the yelling in the world could have done.
Sinking back down onto the chair behind her she looked down at her hands surprised to see them trembling in her lap. She clasped them together trying to get the trembling to stop but found it impossible. She could feel tears spilling out onto her cheeks and could not bring herself to look at him, terrified of what she might see.
"What did you mean?" he repeated his voice harsh in the stillness of the room.
The sound of his voice caused her to jump and she found her eyes as if with a will of their own lifting to look at his face. His eyes were fixed on her face staring blankly at her almost as if he had never seen her before and was looking at a stranger.
"Nathan do you remember that party we went to about two months before graduation at Brooke's house?"
She saw his slight nod of affirmation and continued.
"You decided to leave a little early that night and I was going to stay with Brooke because she was upset."
"She'd been fighting with Lucas." Once again his mechanical voice chimed in.
"That's right," she said.
"When you left there weren't many people left and Lucas came back to try to talk things out with Brooke."
His head jerked up at her words.
"If you're about to tell me that the baby was my brother's then save your breath because I know for a fact that he has never cheated on Brooke and would never cheat on her no matter what the circumstances."
"Nathan please just let me talk I'm never going to get through this if you interrupt me. Of course Lucas didn't cheat on Brooke. What I was going to say was that Lucas came back and he took Brooke out for a drive so they could talk. I was a bit drunk so I decided to go to bed but before I could Tim appeared from one of the bedrooms and asked me to have a drink with him."
Nathan by now was watching her with a mixture of curiosity and disbelief but she could also see a fear in his eyes that whatever she was about to say would spell the end of things between them forever. Seeing he wasn't going to interrupt again she continued.
"I didn't realise that he had put something in my drink until a lot later. He took me into one of the bedrooms and he raped me. I'm so sorry Nathan but there was nothing I could do. There was no one there to hear me when I tried to tell him no and I just couldn't get him to stop. I tried to fight him off but it was like my legs and arms were powerless. After he finished he simply got up and walked away. He never said a word the whole time. Nathan you have to know I have never told anyone this not even Brooke when she got home later that night."
Nathan was looking at her now with what could only be described as morbid fascination.
"About six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was in shock I had no idea what I should do. We were about to graduate and we had our whole lives ahead of us."
Nathan spoke for the first time since he had thought she was accusing Lucas of being the father.
"Why didn't you tell me Haley? You had no way of knowing that it wasn't my baby."
"I wasn't thinking straight Nathan all I could think was that I had to get away from Tree Hill, Tim and even you. I couldn't bear the possibility that if you found out I might see you look at me with hate in your eyes."
She hung her head then trying to gather her thoughts there was so much more that he still didn't know but how much should she tell him.
Flashback
Getting up from Nathan's bed that morning had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. Her heart had constricted in her chest as she watched him laying there so content and happy. For a moment she stopped and second guessed herself for what felt like the millionth time since she had made her decision to leave town. She truly didn't know whether she possessed the strength to walk away from everything that she and Nathan had shared.
A wave of sickness washing over her reminded her again of just why she had to leave and so she leaned over the bed placing a lingering kiss on Nathan's lips and whispered "I love you Nathan, I always will."
Nathan's lips curved into a grin at the feel of her lips against his and he burrowed further down under the covers. Holding back the sob that welled up in her throat she placed a hand over her mouth and picked up her bag rushing out of the room. She ran all the way home letting herself silently through the front door and grabbing the suitcase she had hidden in the hall closet before taking one last look around the building that she had been raised in and walking quickly out the door. The cab that she had ordered arrived minutes later and hopping in with her suitcase she told him her destination.
"The train station please."
The cab driver had attempted to chat to her during the drive but she had sat in silence dwelling on what she had just done. She could only hope that one day Nathan would forgive her. She knew she would most likely never see him again but she couldn't bear the thought of him hating her for the rest of their lives. One day she hoped he would be able to look back on their time together with a smile on his face.
The first few months in Chicago had been terrible. She had suffered horribly with morning sickness and found herself feeling almost indifferent to the presence of the tiny human growing inside of her. Every morning she had woken up with the possibility of bringing this all to an end with a simple visit to a clinic running through her mind. So many times she had stood in front of the doors to the building trying to gather the necessary courage to enter. The one time she had forced herself to enter the building she had found herself confronted with a sympathetic nurse
"Is there something I can do for you dear?"
Haley had opened her mouth to speak but the words simply would not come.
"Are you here to book an appointment?" the nurse continued gently obviously used to young, scared women coming in each day terrified of the choice that confronted them.
Haley had nodded mutely.
"Ok well let me give you some literature that you can have a read of at home. If you decide to go ahead with this the first thing we are going to need to do is book you an appointment with a counselor."
Haley nodded once more still unable to force her vocal chords into action.
"Honey why don't you go home and read the pamphlets I've given you then when you've decided what it is you want to do you can come back here and discuss your options with us."
Finally finding her voice Haley allowed a sad smile to cross her face.
"Thank you I will."
She walked out the door clutching the pamphlets to her chest barely aware of anything around her. A scream of "Murderer," broke her out of her trance and she looked up to see a small group of people milling around with home made placards looking at her as if she was the scum of the earth.
"I don't think she's done it yet," one of them said to the man standing next to her "Look she's only just got the literature. There's still time to save this one."
They surged forward crowding around her.
"Don't do it," one woman begged.
"You'll regret it for the rest of your life," another one insisted.
"Think of that poor little baby," a man urged her "so helpless, depending on you for its life."
Haley tried to brush past them "please" she begged "just leave me alone. You don't understand."
"What is there to understand?" the first woman demanded "you've been given this wonderful gift from God and now you want to throw it away like a piece of garbage."
"It's a human being," the other woman chimed in.
"Please," the man said "just take your time to think very carefully about this. It isn't something you can ever go back and fix. Do you honestly believe that you will be able to live with that guilt for the rest of your life?"
"Why not?" Haley muttered "I can just add it in with all the rest."
Finally pushing past them she headed out to the street and hailed a cab. When she arrived home she pulled out the literature she had shoved into her bag before getting into the cab. Scanning over it her gaze halted on the word termination.
What was she doing there was no way she could do this?
Pitching the offending bit of paper across the room she buried her head in her hands and for the first time since she had left allowed the tears to flow. She remained in that position for over an hour crying until there were no tears left.
The rest of her pregnancy had passed by with her barely aware of what was happening. She rarely ate and more often than not found herself unable to sleep. It is said most women get an inner glow while pregnant but nothing could be further from the truth in Haley's case.
Her physical appearance changed drastically during her pregnancy but other than the small bump of her stomach none of the changes would be considered positive. Her face was wan and her hair lacked the lustre that it once had. She rarely smiled and spent most of her time holed up at home speaking to no one.
One day that was just like so many before it Haley sat at home alone hugging a pillow to her chest and wondering for the hundredth time what she had ever done to deserve the life she now had. Laying back she rested a bowl of potato chips on her stomach. Sick of going through the same bout of self recrimination she flicked the TV on with the remote and settled back to watch. As she watched Deacon and Amber cavort on the screen she allowed a small smile to cross her lips.
If only real life could be like a soap opera she thought. Obviously on The Bold and The Beautiful nothing can truly pervert the course to true love.
Reaching towards the bowl she picked out a small handful of chips and ruefully realised that this was the first thing she had eaten in the last 24 hours. Pulling her hand away she turned her attention back to the TV only to find it diverted moments later by the bowl of chips flying off her stomach. For a moment she stared at it in wonder with no idea as to what had happened. Feeling a sharp jab in her stomach she placed her hand on the spot and felt a movement almost immediately. Her baby was kicking. She was seven months pregnant and for the first time she was feeling her baby moving strongly. She knew she was responsible for the fact that the baby hadn't moved much in the past due to her poor eating habits but to be honest she had done her best to ignore the presence of the other human occupying her body. Now she was being reminded of it in the most blatant possible fashion.
She was going to be a mother and it was time she started acting like one. Sitting up she looked around her and it was as if a curtain that had been cordoning her off from the real world was suddenly lifted. Her apartment was a mess but that could wait the first thing she needed to do was get some nourishment into that poor little baby and herself. Standing up she walked to her fridge and grimaced in distaste as she realised how little food she actually had. Picking up her purse she headed out the door. It was time to do some shopping.
That day had brought about a realisation in Haley that no matter what the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy the fact remained that she had a tiny baby inside of her that was responsible for nothing that had happened. For too long she had looked at this baby as the crux of all her problems but this baby hadn't asked to be born and it was time for her to start acting like the mother she was soon to be. For the next month and a half she threw herself into preparing for the arrival of the baby.
She made a nursery in the spare bedroom of herapartment and bought lots of clothes for the daughter that she wasconvinced she was going to have. Names were chosen and toys were bought and it was only at night when Haley stopped her rushing around that she remembered all the times that she had imagined doing these things with Nathan for the children that she had been so sure they would one day have.
The day that she went into labour had started much as any other had in the last few months with her struggling to get herself out of bed in time to rush to the toilet to relieve her overworked bladder. When she waddled into the kitchen a few minutes later to fix her breakfast she had found herself standing in a puddle of water. While at first she had looked for the leak that she was sure must have burst in her kitchen plumbing she had soon been confronted with the realisation that the liquid was actually coming from her.
In a panic she had grabbed the bag that she had packed the week before and called a cab. Arriving at the hospital alone had been a daunting experience and she couldn't help but think that this was not how it was supposed to be. She should know without doubt that this was Nathan's baby and they should be here together preparing to welcome their child into the world. Walking to the nurse's station she clutched her stomach as a strong contraction hit.
"Excuse me can someone please help me I'm in labour?
The nurse had called for help and had taken her to a room to prepare for the birth. Sitting with her she asked the necessary questions to complete the required paperwork.
"Ok Miss James the doctor is here now."
The doctor did the necessary examination.
"Well Miss James I hope you are ready for this because your baby is not going to wait much longer to make its appearance."
The nurse looked at her with concern.
"Are you sure there's no one you want me to call for you dear?"
"No," Haley answered "I have no one."
Suddenly she gripped the sides of the bed.
"Oh God I think I need to push."
"Just do what feels right." the doctor told her "if you need to push then do it."
Half an hour later Haley gave one final push and felt something slippery between her thighs.
"Is that my baby? Let me see it."
End Flashback
Nathan broke into her thoughts then "So where is it Haley? Where's the baby?"
Haley stifled a sob as she looked him in the eyes properly for the first time since she had arrived.
"She's dead Nathan. Our baby is dead."
Flashback
"Where's my baby why won't you let me see it?"
"Haley honey I'm so sorry," said the nurse.
"Why?" Haley screamed "what do you have to be sorry about?"
"Honey, she didn't survive the birth."
"She…" Haley sobbed. "I have a daughter."
Tears cascaded down her face as the tiny limp body was placed on her chest wrapped in a blanket.
"Oh my baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
When Haley was released from hospital a few days later she went home alone to an empty apartment filled with everything she had so lovingly prepared for her baby. Her life had spiraled into a depression like nothing she had ever experienced before for even in the lowest moments of her pregnancy she had never felt like this. One day several weeks later she had dragged herself out of the house and down to the local market.
She was a mess and although she knew it she was beyond caring. Nothing mattered without her precious baby. Standing at the checkout with her meagre grocery shopping her attention had been drawn to the magazine rack in front of her. Letting out an animal like wail she dropped the basket containing her groceries onto the floor. Grabbing the magazine she avidly read the words printed there.
Tim Smith, Lakers Star proven infertile.
Flicking through till she found the relevant article she read in disbelief. Apparently Tim was the latest up and coming star of the Lakers and a woman was accusing him of getting her pregnant. Tim was suing on the grounds that he had been medically proven to be infertile.
Clutching the magazine to her chest Haley threw five dollars towards the cashier and ran out the door. Barely managing to reach the car before the tears began to flow she collapsed to the ground sobbing.
Her baby, her precious baby girl was Nathan's. Their baby was dead and Nathan would never know her, never have the chance to hold her. Tim had stolen that from them along with everything else that had ever mattered. But Tim was not the one most at fault in her own mind. Deep down she blamed herself and she probably always would.
She had actually considered ending their baby's life in the very early stages and now that baby was dead. This was obviously the universes way of punishing her. How was she ever going to be able to look Nathan in the eye again knowing that she was responsible for Schapelle's death?
End Flashback
Nathan was staring at her as if he no longer knew who she was.
Standing up he turned and walked quickly to the door without a word.
Haley fell to her knees and screamed after him.
"Nathan…. Nathan please don't leave me."
Her cries were met with silence and then moments later the roar of his engine and the sound of his car pealing out of the drive.
"Oh God Nathan please." Haley sobbed.
"Please don't leave me."
Spoilers:- Where is Nathan? Haley reaches a decision after a news report.