Long chapter to make up for Chapter 2 being so short! Enjoy! Favs, follows and reviews are welcomed and appreciated!
I felt as if I was swimming through a thick fluid. Everything was muffled, everything hurt. I tried to move, but couldn't.
Am I dead?
"What happened to her?" the deep voice of the Commander asked somewhere above me.
"A Knight-Corporal used the smite on her. Then he kicked her in the ribs. I think they may be broken," Minaeve explained, her voice hoarse from screaming.
"Why did he smite her? She's a Tranquil, for Andraste's sake!" he exclaimed.
"Commander, somehow she used her magic. She got hit by one of those balls of fire and survived. She started screaming after, holding her head. But when they tried to attack her, she defended herself. They...they were...they were going to,"Minaeve began, but couldn't finish, "I'm just glad you got to us before the demons finished us off."
"Maker's breath," he swore, "Bethany, can you heal her?"
"She's got nothing dire to attend to, there are far worse injuries. Give her some lyrium, that'll help with the smite," an agitated female voice replied.
That's when I heard the moans and groans of others around me. I smelled the stench of blood and burned flesh. My stomach rolled with nausea.
"Could you find some lyrium, Minaeve?" the Commander asked.
"Don't you have any?"
"Not at the moment."
"Please don't leave her side. I'm worried about her."
"You have my word."
I felt a warm, calloused hand brush the hair from my face. He ran a calloused thumb over the sun branded on my forehead.
"If you have your magic back, does that mean you'll remember? Neria," he breathed my name like a prayer, "Neria, I am so sorry. If I had known -," he whispered.
I gasped as I felt myself pulled into the Fade again.
At first, I wasn't sure where I was. I walked a circular hall of stone, arched doorways and wooden doors. Braziers lit the way, hanging from rafters far above my head. Statues of unknown persons dotted the hallway every few feet. I came to a large, wooden door and opened it. Towering bookcases lined the walls and created new ones, their shelves lined with leather-bound tomes of varying sizes. Tables for studying were set here and there, candles lit so the occupants of the chairs could read despite the dark. At one such table, I watched myself as I sat reading over a tome. I was young, no more than seventeen. My ebony hair was loose, the spirals falling all around my head as I rested my chin in my palm. I bit down on my full bottom lip in concentration. My dark brows were knitted, my eyes darting as I read.
I turned as I heard the library door open again, Greagoir was leading a group of teenagers through the library. A boy with golden hair stopped as he passed by me. He was handsome, though still growing into his body. The me at the table blinked before lifting her jade eyes up to the boy. He turned slightly pink as I smiled shyly at him before returning to the tome I was reading. The boy blinked quickly before jogging to catch up with the group.
Time shifted, though I was once again in the library. I was trying to reach a book on an upper shelf, but was unable to grasp it. The boy, now in templar armor, came over holding a chair. He smiled at me as he sat it in front of the bookcase, offering a hand to help me up.
"They need to make these bookcases a little shorter," he offered.
"Or put the good books on the lower shelves," I returned, as I took his hand, using it to hoist myself up on the chair.
"So, that's where they are?" he asked aloud.
"Why else would I be trying to scramble up the shelves?"
"I thought maybe you were trying to escape," he smiled mischievously.
"And the chair was for?"
"You seemed to be having trouble."
"If I had been trying to escape, then what?"
"I'd have a chair to come after you," he shrugged.
I laughed before taking his hand to climb back down.
"Well, thank you for the assistance, even if you did have an ulterior motive," I smiled.
He turned pink and cleared his throat, "Ulterior motive?"
"Making sure I wasn't escaping?" I quirked a brow.
"Right, right," he laughed, awkwardly.
"What kind of books do you like?" I asked, curious.
"Probably nothing exciting, but anything about Ferelden history or the history of Thedas; military related things; some fictional works, but I'm very particular about those. What about you?"
"Pretty much anything, but creature studies, demonology, studies of the Fade and more fiction than I care to admit," I smiled sheepishly, he returned it with a warm smile of his own, his amber eyes turning molten.
I know those eyes.
"Any you can recommend to me?"
"I can think of a few, I'll write you a list."
"And I'll see if I can find a few for you as well."
"Thank you."
"Rutherford, back to your post," a senior templar barked as she walked by us.
Rutherford? As in Commander Rutherford?
He paled before offering a salute, "Yes, ser!"
I walked to a nearby window seat, setting the book in my lap before I began reading. I twisted a curl around my finger, catching sight of the boy out of the corner of my eye. He'd returned to his post, but his eyes were on me. I smiled and hid a giggle behind my hand. He flushed with embarrassment, looking away quickly as he rubbed the back of his neck. His amber eyes shifted back to me in spite of his embarrassment.
I watched as I walked down the hall of Kinloch Hold. I was among a group of female apprentices. I looked at the boy, who was standing guard in the hall. He was doing his best not to look at me, but failing. I blushed, and offered a small smile. The boy smiled, blushed and looked away. The other mages giggled.
Next, the boy was standing guard, watching me as I taught the fledgling mages. I conjured some small animals out of ice and caused them to flit around the room. The boy watched the animals, wonder on his face and a smile as the children chased after them. I sent an ice bird at him, causing it to splash into the boy's face as it melted. The children laughed hysterically and I heard myself laughing delightedly. The boy laughed too, deep and masculine.
After that, I watched as the boy snuck down the hall, carrying a few books. He was heading towards what would have been the apprentice's room when I lived at Kinloch Hold. He didn't have his armor on, just a tunic and leather pants. It was clear he was nervous of being caught, but he kept moving forward. The room was empty as he slipped inside. He made his way to what looked like my bed. He placed the books on the table next to it. He whipped around as he heard the doorknob jiggle and ducked behind a nearby chest. He peeked up just enough to see who was coming in. The door opened and I walked through, humming to myself. He jerked as if he wanted to reveal himself, to talk to me, but he remained hidden. I approached my bed and noticed the stack of books. I looked through them and smiled. He smiled too.
Next, the boy and I were singing during a Chantry service, standing near to one another. All the mages and templars were together, singing, but he inched closer to me. My eyes were closed as I sung from the heart. He closed his eyes as well, his voice melodious as he sung.
In the next memory, his eyes were on me, concern written on his face, as I stood in a trance. We stood in the vast Harrowing chamber, at my Harrowing. My jade eyes were staring and dull, my mouth slack. The usually olive-toned skin of my face was pale. A cry emanated from my lips and his hand tightened on his sword hilt. My body jerked, reanimating as I exited the Fade, before I crumpled to the floor. Irving approached, bending to help me sit up. I nodded my head in response to his question before I slumped into his arms, unconscious. Irving indicated the Harrowing had been a success. The boy sighed with relief.
Now, he was carrying me in his arms. He walked slowly down the hall to the apprentice dorm; both to keep me from waking and he seemed to savor the moment of having me close. He studied me. My face was peaceful, the color returning to my cheeks. My full lips were slightly parted as I breathed slowly. He entered the empty apprentice dorm, approaching my bed. Gingerly, he lowered me onto my bed. My eyes fluttered open, and I grabbed his hand. He didn't blush or pull it away, but instead he stood there, letting me hold his hand until my eyes closed again. My hand went slack and he gently placed it on my stomach. He hesitated and then placed my wool blanket over me.
I was walking down a hall and he was standing there, fiddling with his gauntlets. I had donned a new robe and had a staff. My cheeks were flushed with excitement as I looked at him through thick lashes. He straightened at my approach.
"Oh…um...he-hello," his young voice stammered, "I'm glad that your Harrowing went smoothly."
"Hello, Cullen," I greeted shyly, curling a lock of hair behind my pointed ear.
It is indeed the Commander, albeit younger.
"They picked me to be the one to strike the killing blow...if-if you'd become an abomination," Cullen said ashamedly, his face grim.
I looked horrified at that statement.
"It's nothing personal, I swear," Cullen added hastily, "I'm - uh - I'm just glad you're alright."
He smiled nervously, his eyes studying me.
I smiled mischievously, "Why are you stammering?"
"What?" Cullen said incredulously, his face going red as he looked away, "I'm-I'm fine."
"I thought templars liked killing mages?" I asked, jokingly.
"Maybe some," Cullen admitted, "but not me. It's my duty to hunt down apostate mages, but I do so with a heavy heart."
"Would you really have cut me down?" I murmured, not meeting his eyes.
"I would have felt terrible about it," Cullen admitted, sadly, "but, um, I serve the Chantry and the Maker and I will do as I am commanded."
Hurt flashed on my face, but I nodded, "I shouldn't distract you from your duties."
"Oh you aren't distracting. I mean you are," Cullen added shyly, his face going redder, "but you're not. I mean...you can talk to me anytime...if you want."
He gave a shy smile.
In that moment, I remembered. I remembered this. Remembered him. I remembered how much I had cared for him, the kind boy who looked beyond his templar title to see the people who were his charges, instead of just seeing potential threats. He had been so sweet, so innocent; such a contrast to the harsh, hard men and women that had been our guards for so long.
"But yes, maybe we can talk another time?" he added, hope in his voice.
We looked at each other for a moment and I blushed deeper before
I stood on tiptoes and kissed him gently on the cheek.
"I would like that," I whispered softly.
Though I would have thought it impossible, Cullen turned an even deeper shade of red.
He cleared his throat and shifted nervously, "I-I should go."
I watched as Cullen ran away, turning to catch a glimpse of myself smiling and giggling, before I followed him. Only when there was plenty of distance between us did he stop. He smiled to himself, elation on his face.
Memories of our friendship growing and mutual feelings deepening flowed together. Time spent in the library together, talking in the hall, attending Chantry services together, Cullen sneaking books and treats to me. We'd steal what time we could, but it was always short and though we trusted each other with our thoughts, neither of us could ever bring ourselves to really admit how we felt. I remembered it all, his friendship being one of the dearest to me and the only thing that made the tower seem less cold.
The next memory was of a ruined Kinloch Hold. Bodies were everywhere: mages, templars and abominations. A group of mages and templars were facing down some abominations. They stood between them and a group of fledgling mages. Wynne, a senior enchanter, myself, and four other mages stood with a group of an half dozen templars. The templars charged the abominations, the mages providing cover fire by launching fireballs at the abominations. The monsters roared in frustration as the templars sank their blades into them; chopping of limbs and heads until the grotesque bodies lay upon the floor dead.
"Is everyone alright?" one of the templars asked as he took his helmet off. It was Cullen. He looked exhausted and frightened, but he was doing his best to stay calm for the rest of us.
"We're alright," Wynne assured, "Are you all alright?"
"No injuries," another templar replied.
"How much lyrium do we have left?" Cullen asked.
They all pooled their draughts, there was one left for each of them.
"We must ration it," Cullen murmured, "Only use it if you absolutely must."
They voiced their agreement before stowing the lyrium away.
"Wynne," Cullen turned to her, "You need to keep going, get the children somewhere safe."
"What will you do?" I asked Cullen.
"What must be done," he said solemnly, "We must hunt down the abominations and blood mages. We must put an end to Uldred."
"What, you six?" Solana Amell scoffed, "You honestly think you can handle them alone?"
She tossed her buttery-blonde hair over a shoulder haughtily, her coffee eyes burning with anger.
"What would you have us do?" Cullen growled, "How are we to trust you aren't corrupted?"
"Do you honestly think that?" I asked him quietly, "You think that I could be party to these atrocities?"
"You helped Jowan!" he roared, "A blood mage and he escaped!"
"I was only doing what I was told!" I yelled back, "He wouldn't take no for an answer! Besides, I had no idea he was dabbling in blood magic. I just thought he wanted to be with the woman he loves!"
"What you were told or what you were commanded to do?" he spat, "Maybe you're already possessed!"
He drew his sword, pointing it at me. My eyes widened in shock and fear, I put my hands up defensively.
"Put your sword down now, Rutherford," Solana snarled, "Before I put you down."
Solana's hands lit with fire magic, Cullen flashed his sword at her, his eyes alight with rage.
"Enough, you two," I cried, "Solana, we're all just frightened and unsure of who to trust; Cullen, Solana is just trying to protect us."
Cullen glanced at me, his sword dipping.
Solana lowered her hands, "I'm going with Wynne," she growled, "I can't stand the stench of templars."
"And you?" Cullen asked me.
"Do you trust me?" I asked.
His gold-flecked eyes searched my face, "Yes."
He turned to the other templars, "Fan out in pairs, each pair sweep a floor of the tower. We need to find the others. Neria, you're with me and Wilhelm."
He directed Wynne and the others to take the children to the lowest floor to see if they could find Greagior.
He turned to the other templars one last time, "Be alert, do not linger, and do not hesitate. Maker go with you," he saluted.
They returned his salute before splitting up. We headed up to the fourth floor, not daring to speak. Cullen slowly opened the door and made a gesture for us to stop.
"Isn't this lovely?" the oily voice of Uldred spoke, "We'll be wonderful friends when we've all met our fullest potential."
We heard screaming then and a sickening squelching. Cullen motioned us to the side, we hid behind a column and observed what was happening. There were bodies everywhere and a few had been mutated into revolting, fungus-like piles of flesh and bone. Uldred stood in the middle, his dark eyes alight with depravity. On either side of him stood mages who had sinister smiles spread across their faces. At their feet, mages and templars lay - alive, bloodied and terrified.
The squelching was coming from one of the templars who was...transforming. His body twisted, elongated; bones breaking, flesh tearing. My stomach rolled and I had to look away. When I looked back, the templar was an abomination. He stood over the others, breathing heavily, looking to Uldred for orders.
"You see?" he chuckled, "Was that so bad? Now you're more powerful than you ever could've been on your own. Do encourage your friends to join you."
The abomination turned to one of the other templars splayed on the ground and began eating him. I covered my ears to try and block out the horrific screams and sounds. The others tried to crawl away, but it was a losing battle. One of the mages slowly strolled away from Uldred to step in front of one of the templars that was reaching for a sword. She squatted down, a sensual smile on her face. She grabbed his face and pulled him up to her.
"None of that, my pet," she purred, "Please, you need to protect me."
The templars eyes glazed over and he stood, grabbing his sword, "I will protect you, my love," he stated.
He turned and stalked towards the others, raising his sword.
"Those of you not wishing to die by the sword or by being my dear friend's dessert, please do let me know," Uldred offered, "I'm more than willing to share the gift I have to offer."
No one spoke. Wether out of fear or because they were dead, I could not tell.
"No one?" Uldred sighed, "Very well."
He snapped his fingers and the corpses that were strewn around the room transformed into abominations or ghouls. They dragged themselves off the floor before stumbling to the templars and mages. They started tearing them apart and the enthralled templar butchered the ones they left. The female mage that enthralled him then had him drag a dagger across his throat, cackling madly.
"Reyna," Uldred scolded, "we need some alive."
"What for?" she pouted, "With all the blood spilt, can't we turn the others with ease?"
"That's only if we find them before the blood is no good to us."
She sighed, "Fine."
"Besides, I thought you wanted some to play with?" he asked, a brow quirking.
"There's only one I want and he'll need breaking before he'll play with me."
"Ah yes," he smiled, "The same goes for my prize, I'm afraid. However, I think they've finally decided to join us."
I yelled as I felt hands grab me, "Cullen!"
"Neria!" he yelled, but abominations held him and Wilhelm still.
They dragged us out before Uldred and the others.
"You thought you could outsmart us?" Uldred clicked his tongue, gesturing to the other Templars that had been captured. To my relief, Wynne and the others did not seem to be among the captured. Uldred stalked up to me, I tried to fight the abomination's grip, but it held me firm. Uldred gave me a serpentine smile, holding my face in his hand.
"Uldred didn't think much of you and I must say I am still underwhelmed, but Irving thinks the world of you," he murmured, leaning forward to sniff a lock of my hair.
"Don't touch her!" Cullen snarled.
Uldred ignored him, his eyes staring at me hungrily, "You will be his weakness. He thinks of you like a daughter. He will give in when he sees me gutting you like a squealing pig."
"Get your hands off her!" Cullen roared, thrashing in the abomination's grip.
"Or I'll just turn you and feed him to you," Uldred thought aloud, "both scenarios sound appealing."
"I'll kill you!" Cullen screamed.
"Reyna, my dear, do shut him up before I kill him," Uldred ordered with a deadly calm voice.
"Shh, my pet," Reyna murmured in Cullen's ear.
Cullen slumped, unconscious.
Time jumped to after the defeat of Uldred. Evelyn was leading the surviving mages to the entrance hall of Kinloch Hold; I was among them, being held up by Wynne. I was bloody and limping. Cullen glanced over me, fear and distrust on his face. I looked at him, tears in my eyes. I had heard his screams and the screams of the other templars while Uldred held us in the Harrowing chamber. I had been so happy to see him alive. I smiled at him, but it faltered as I noticed Cullen scowl at me before he turned his back on me and walked away. I remembered my heart sinking in confusion and hurt.
The next few memories flowed together. I tried talking to Cullen several times, but each time he kept silent and ignored me as if I didn't exist. Eventually, I stopped trying, but smiled at him when I passed by. He refused to look at me. I tried my best to ignore my broken heart, convincing myself that it was what Uldred had done and wasn't really about me. I never believed it fully, but I tried. Until one day when I found out Cullen was gone; he hadn't said anything to me, but Greagoir had informed me telling me that he had been transferred to the Circle in Kirkwall. While hurt at first, I was determined to follow him to mend the damage that had been done. His friendship meant too much to me to let it be destroyed by the actions of a few maleficarum, no matter how long it took. It took a few years, but eventually, I convinced Greagoir and Irving to allow me to transfer to the Gallows.
The last memories that came to me was of me sitting in a strange bedroom, surrounded by a few people. It took a moment to register who they were, a few I had no names for, but Cullen and Bethany were there. A young boy sat next to me on the bed as I brushed a finger over the brand on my forehead stating that I was now Tranquil. He apologized, his green eyes sad. The other woman, who looked very much like Bethany frowned. Cullen asked me a question, to which I replied a strange answer. I didn't know him, where I was or how I had gotten there. He looked devastated. I fell asleep in the bed after the others had left, Cullen placing a blanket over me before he too left the room.
Days later, he was with me as I boarded a boat with a few other mages. He spoke with the captain and a few of the templars, commanding that we all be well looked after. The templars saluted him, the captain nodded taking a few papers from him before turning to give his crew instructions. I looked at Cullen, his eyes sad, before descending the boat ramp. I stared at Kirkwall's port until it had disappeared on the horizon.
After that, I was back at Kinloch Hold. I began studying creatures, learning to draw and paint them. I studied demons and spirits and the Fade, a focus and studiousness I did not have before being Tranquil now great assets to help me learn and remember. Minaeve was there also, helping me and teaching me what she knew. The Hold was much the same as before Uldred's attack, the templars slightly more strenuous than they had been, but Greagoir and Irving's relationship was ever the same - bickering friends. Solana was gone as was Wynne, but I cared only for my studies.
Then the rebellion came; most in the tower wanted nothing to do with it, but the few that did would not go quietly. They attacked and though the templars protected those they could, Minaeve and I were lost in the fighting. We fled, Minaeve fearing that should we return, the templars would not find us trustworthy. We ran for months, hiding and moving location around the Ferelden countryside until one afternoon when Minaeve and a few of the other mages we had joined that also did not want to be part of the rebellion, returned from a nearby tavern that served food without asking too many questions. They had heard whispers of an organization forming in Haven that wanted to put an end to the fighting, that it was there also Divine Justinia had called for a Conclave for the mages and templars to peacefully discuss how to move forward and put an end to their war. We arrived days later, exhausted, hungry and unsure of what we would find. We found the Inquisition, or the beginnings of it anyway, and found ourselves welcomed before being put to work. Minaeve and the Tranquil became the messengers and recorders of what was going on with a promise of more a prominent role if the Inquisition truly did become necessary. Against all odds, we had found safety and purpose again. Then Cullen and I stumbled into each other and my Tranquil mind could not process what I was seeing on his face. He'd avoided me after that, until that night at the tavern.
The memories ended. I knew there were pieces missing, but I at least now remembered how I had gotten here and remembered Cullen. I felt consciousness returning to my body as the memories faded back into my mind.