EVERYTHING. IN STRIDE.
"It's my heart, and it's broken."
(Finn, Great Expectations)
The world stopped with her.
She was laughing. Everything was okay. She had just taken a bullet to her vest. Everything was okay. She was laughing. They had helped her up. Everything was okay. The job was done. They were about to head home. And everything was okay.
Then she just fell.
Her eyes went blank. They weren't happy anymore. That was his first hint. Her not responding was his second. The red dot on her head the third and finial. Everything was supposed to be okay. If anyone should go it should have been him. Not her.
The girl never dies in the end.
No, the guy does. Then the girl takes the tragedy and moves on. She takes it in stride. Males weren't build to move on. They were built to be. And he was set being with her.
But this was wrong. Everything was supposed to be okay. They were supposed to go back and have more playful banter. More looks. Just little ones. It was a work place after all.
He was in love with her.
And she loved him back.
They may have never talked about it. But that never changed the fact. And everyone knew it. And everything was okay. They were Zen. Nirvana. They were at peace. Settled. Thinking about little white picket fences in the suburbs.
Not about little red dots. Never about little red dots. How could they? Everything was okay. Everything was perfect. But the problem with perfect was what lies beneath. And perfection blinds you with a little song and dance from the imperfections.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Everything was okay.
Everything was okay.
Everything.
Every single little thing that could have possibly have gone wrong, they checked. These missions were supposed to be safe. Sure they talked about risks, but they weren't really that real to them. More like precautions. She had protected the President before coming to NCIS. This should have been a walk in the park.
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
He never got to say goodbye. Never got to say anything of importance. He needed her back. He needed to tell her. Then she could say it back to him. Then they'd kiss. And he'd make a deal with God. Trade his life for hers.
Because her life was worth something. She was doing something. Not doing someone. Her life had value. Her death meant something. That, and if he went, then he wouldn't have to do this. Everything would be okay. Kate was stronger. Kate would move on.
Everything was okay.
Perfection.
And then came
oblivion.
And everything wasn't okay. Nothing would ever be okay. Because he loved her. And she loved him. But they weren't together. And it was only okay if they were together.
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