Doode, that's not cool

Chapter one

A: hey guys im just telling you that not much action will happen till chappie 3 i gess

Cam Fischer

Age- 13

Eye color- greenish-gray

Height- 5'

Hair color- dark brown, the swooshabang (the long kind of bang that fall in the face) in pigtail braids

Face- freckles

Lily Turnage

Age-13

Eye color- Green

Height- 4' 11"

Hair color- lightish brown, shwooshabang, wears a ponytail

Face- no freckles

……

"Zack! C'mon! the show's starting!" Cody yelled up the stairs to his twin, and then ran to the TV set.

"coming!" Zach yelled back. He rushed down the stairs and plopped right next to Cody, with Maxand Tapeworm already there. Then, he flipped channels until they got to MTV.

"Phew, just in time…." He said, as one of their favorite shows was just starting. It was called "The Two Stupid People", andCam and Cam's best friend Lily Turnage starred in it.

Cam was a pro skateboarder and snowboarder, and Lily was a pro surfer and skateboarder.

It started: it showed Cam andLily, on what it seemed like a TV screen, and they raised identical newspapers to their faces so they were hidden. The only sound was of rustling newspapers. Then, all of a sudden, and very synchronized, they put the papers down and took a sip of coffee from the mugs next to them, and a bite of biscotti. The newspapers went back up. More rustling. 5 minutes passed.

"Wow is this all you two watch?" Carrey popped up and rested on the sofa's back, grinning.

Cody playfully punched Carrey.

"Hey!" she said, and jumped over and sat in between Zach and Cody.

Their attention went back to the TV screen.

Cam and Lily put their newspapers, and the TV screen that it seemed that they were in, was lifted up to show them sitting in their desks, the newspapers down, and the coffee mugs in hand.

"Ok, everyone- please pay attention- for we have very, VERY bad news." Cam said, placing her hands together and leaned forward to show that she was very serious.

"Yes." Lily said, taking the same position that Cam was in, " it seems that McDonalds is"

The suspence music.

The camera turned to Cam, which had recently had been zoomed in on Lily.

It was Cam making the music.

Cody, Zach, Max , and Tapeworm laughed.

Cam saw that the camera was on her, and stopped.

"uhm…. Nothing to see here!" she said, and hid her face.

The camera went back to Lily, who was "picking" her nose.

She continued until Cam whispered loudly, "Lily! Camera!"

Lily stopped.

"uh, oh, uhmmm sorry." She said, and messed with her papers on her desk.

"We regret to say that McDonalds is making their McNuggets even better!" Cam choked.

"And oh so good!" Lily said, dramatically placing her hand on her forhead.

Cody and Zach laughed softly.

"ok, back to subject-" Cam said, "Chinese scientists have seen a wild panda-" she paused.

"in China, actually! Eating bamboo in a bamboo forest."

"Yes! And we have a clip of it right here!" Lily said, gesturing up to the small plasma TV above them. Immediately a clip of a panda eating bamboo shoots appeared.

"ok that's enough." Lily interrupted, "kinda boring, actually."

The clip turned off.

Even Carrey smiled. "Well, I guess that they're ok." She said, leaning back, putting her hands behind her neck.

"C'mon mom! They're so funny!" Cody insisted.

"Shhh!" Tapeworm andMax replied sharply.

"well, moving on," Cam said, "WE are going to go to WALMART."

"Its gonna be alotta fun, but many people will think that we are…somewhat….weird. C'mon lets go!" Lily exclaimed, and sat up so quickly that her chair fell back and hit Cam's chair, making Cam fall out.

"ughhhhh…." Cam said, "ok."

The next thing that they saw was a limo pulling up to WalMart and Cam and Lily stepped out, wearing those large and clunky sunglasses.

"ok, we're here…" Cam said, looking around.

"We cant waste any time! Hurry up Cam!" Lily yelled, and pulled Cam in.

The first thing they stopped by was the security camera.

Lily pulled out a comb, and started to use the camera for a mirror and started to brush her hair. She turned and looked at Cam. She was fake picking her nose.

"ah-HEM!" Lily said.

"oh, uh sorry…" Cam said, looking around, acting embarrassed.

"ok, first stop!" Lily said, as they walked to the auto department.

"oooo! Oooo!" Cam yelled, and ran over to the funnels.

"Lookie! I'm Madonna!" Cam said, placing large funnels on her chest.

Lily doubled over laughing.

So did Zach, Cody, Carrey, Max, and Tapeworm.

"Hey lemme try!" Lily said, walking over. There were 4 choices: xtra small, small, medium, and large.

"What size should I try?" Lily asked.

Cam scanned Lily briefly, then reached for he xtra small ones.

"Sweetie, you need to get the xtra smalls." Cam said in the kinda "gay man" voice.

"whatever." Lily said, and dragged Cam over to the "safe sex" aisle and grabbed 25 boxes of Trojan condoms.

"Dear God." Cam said.

Lily rolled her eyes, handed Cam some, and said, "Follow me."

Then Lily went around dropping boxes in random people's carts when they weren't looking.

Cam smiled, and did the same thing.

Zach and Cody laughed.

When they were done, Cam said, "hey lets go to the hunting department!"

"Shoi!" Lily exclaimed, except just then the loud speakers announced, "bananas are 50 off."

"NO! NO! NO! ITS THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" Cam said, dropping into the fetal position and rolled around.

People around them gave them strange looks.

"Cam, Cam, Cam…. Sh! Its ok!" Lily said, trying to calm down Cam.

Cam popped up, and gave a grin to everyone around her.

"c'mon…lets get going to the hunting department….."Lily said, leading Cam.

Just as they left, a little girl tugged at her mom's dress and pointed to their cart. "mommy, what are condoms?"

Zach, Cody,Max, and Tapeworm laughed hard.

"I wonder what they're gonna do next." Rebecca said.

"probably something crazy." Cody said.

Then, the commercials popped up.

"come on!" Zach whined.

A: I wonder WHAT Cam and Lily will do in the hunting department!