Obsession
Truly a curse...
My undead heart had felt a beat... something long forgotten. At first I wished to steal you... keep you far away from everything else and make your body mine. I felt amusement from your speech and pain from you cruel remarks. When is it, that I began to care for you? Everything of the past, I left it behind me... emotions of old removed for my new-found lust. I had come to love you... but you quickly shunned me. I accepted this, reluctantly... forcing myself to stand firm. I had thought to perhaps gain your respect, become.. friends. Like I always had, I got what I strived for.. gentle words of friendship. Only then had it began to itch, my obsession. I thought of how to make you accept me, be a good old soul. Forever planing my silentest protest of logic. I had already imprinted it within my skull, it was impossible, something that should never happen. I bit my lip with fury at those who seemed to challenge me for your attention, wishing the improbable. Perhaps it was a mistake to say it was something I could never have, it only make me long for it more. I forced a smile, being kind and nice to those you cared for, silently praying you'd care for my worthless soul. I stayed by your side in times of pain, unable to understand your emotional wounds. When you asked me for something- I made to to due it with the best of my abilities. I watched as you grew closer and closer... to another impossible love. My undead heart wilted. Truly the pain to see another make you happy... was painful.. yet I was happy.. for your smile. I have always been seen as cruel, but you've respected me... and treated me as a friend. I suppose this made me happy, and perhaps too hopeful. I stoor there... watching you from the dark shadows. Your smile made me weaken, for I knew I would not be enough. Though the painful iront did not end here, I thought to leave you... and never return. I shead such painful tears, knowing it would only hurt worse. I settled with a final creed, only to make you smile. I was brought a strange bliss when I knew you were happy. A feeling no other had matched... Past, present, furture, and afterlife...
I beg only for your love, why can I not have it! Am I really that vile? so putrid, so crass! I would give my all if only for your affections, yet nothing! Only if I manipulate you.. I could create a fake love.. but I'm greedy, and only want the real thing- not a cheap imitation... I choke back tears, my form a fake cruelty. You hug me tight, but I know it is not really you. The tears have defeated me, and the fake you worries for me.. and me alone... how hallow... Now if I release you... and speak of my mind, you will surely reject me. I broke my own creed... I do not deserve even this fake love, and I release you. I sigh greatfully as you had forgotten the night, your true smile.. and my body grows warm... Yet at the very same time, I can still feel it in the back of my mind...
So here is my obsession, my love, my curse.
Here in my undead heart... I shall keep my worst.