... .LV. ...
Part 4:
I Can Fix This
By Lady Valmar
Song Inspiration:
The Great London Traffic Warden Massacre by Morcheeba
Rodney scrambled with the jumper controls, trying to cloak it. When at first he realized the jumper had indeed cloaked itself, the only problem he could see was well…ah I dunna no…the sludge that began to slowly swallow the whole back half of the jumper and mould itself to the jumper's form.
Rodney shook his head frantically. "Not good. Not good! We are so dead! Sheppard stop that!" said Rodney as he slapped at Sheppard's dancing hands that were reaching for the jumper controls again drunkily. "Wait I know…"
Rodney's characteristic hand gesture of a pointing finger made Sheppard back away and shake his head. Making several beeps with his stylus on the sketchpad while hooking up several leads to and from the main control crystals on the upper console, Rodney grinned as the jumper indicated it had cloaked itself and the sludge along with it.
"Ta-da!" said Rodney, feeling relieved.
Turning back, Sheppard squealed, "TA-DA…da….ow my head…Rodney what the hell is going…on?"
Slowly Rodney turned to face Sheppard, rubbing his head.
"You're not saying dumb things…or acting crazy…your back to normal?" said Rodney staring in disbelief at Sheppard.
"Of course I'm back to normal…and dumb things…? I am not crazy…what the hell are you going on and what's happened so far…my head it's so fuzzy."
"You and the Tweedles," said Rodney, "got effected by the sludge, slim…whatever it may be that you slipped in…I think…in any case your back to normal and that's what counts."
Sheppard winced at Rodney. "What do you mean that's what counts? And Tweedles what the hell are you talking about Rodney?"
"The…the…Tweedles," said Rodney gesturing at the two slumped scientists in the corner, who still slept close, snoring. "Just so you know…I…ow…just never mind. Okay, so now that your in your right mind…"
"My right mind?" echoed Sheppard, glaring at Rodney.
"Look you might want to know that there is a Wraith Cruiser headed our way…but that's not the least of our problems."
"Okay what's the least of our problems?" asked Sheppard, as he headed back to the jumper controls.
"No look, flying this puppy out of here isn't going to work, I've already tried…when you were singing about hot women with the Tweedles but it didn't work."
"Excuse me?" said Sheppard, his brow furrowed.
"Yes yes…singing…you heard me…the three of you did more than that…don't worry my lips are sealed of course for a price."
Sheppard cocked an eyebrow and shook his head. "Of course for a price…but now's not the time to negotiate alright?" Suddenly his eyes widened, "Wait…when you said we did more than that…ah…we…ah…"
"Don't worry I kept an eye on all of you…unfortunately," said Rodney as he disconnected a lead into the control crystals on the upper console.
Sheppard hunkered down in the pilot's seat. "That's good to know…so what about these other problems…aside from not being able to fly out, which I would like to know why we can't, how far away is the cruiser?"
Rodney tapped a few more buttons on the sketchpad before he turned back to Sheppard.
"Okay so there are other problems…yes well first things first we are cloaked so they won't see us but that really isn't what has me concerned," said Rodney, then gesturing to the back of the jumper he continued, "It's that sludge or whatever you want to call it is somehow holding down the jumper."
"It's what?" said Sheppard, suddenly feeling like he really should have stayed on Atlantis.
" It's acting as more than that, I've determined that it is the reason why I can't contact Atlantis no matter how many times I try."
"How?"
"Well," said Rodney, puffing up his chest, "It's acting as a sort of dampner and not only that it appears to be sucking up the ship…inch by inch."
"Sucking up the ship?"
"Yes…and its starting to look like if we don't do something fast the whole ship is going to go under this crude version of the blob soon."
"The blob…alright well since we're cloaked, that's one less thing to worry about…just figure out a way to get the sludge off so we can contact Atlantis."
"No I don't think your listening and…oh no…" said Rodney as he turned to sketchpad, a look of horror on his face.
"What? What Rodney…we don't have time for this…what?"
"Its…the…its…the sludge is somehow draining power from the jumper…"
Sheppard narrowed his eyes, "How?"
"How should I know…does it look like I'm a specialist in identification of unknown gooey substances?" said Rodney as he raced to get another cable, while he connected one to the sketchpad and on to the inner panel near the Tweedles.
"Rodney!" said Sheppard, his patience was wearing thin.
If there was one thing Rodney was going to have coming to him it was a boot to the butt for taking so little of their time away by explaining why he can't do something.
"Okay…from what I can tell we have about 2 hours of power left."
"Well that's interesting to know… but what does that mean and…any way can't we just fix it?"
"Okay…that means we have enough for the shield but we won't be able to contact Atlantis or fly the jumper back once the power has been depleted. And since I don't have a generator or any other household appliance that I can pull out of my butt at a moment's notice that will suddenly recharge the thing…we are going to have to figure out a way of configuring the jumper so that we can have enough power to keep us cloaked while sending a message…covertly of course…to Atlantis," said Rodney as he quickly made some adjustments to the controls.
"Oh come on Rodney, don't be so hard on yourself…your good at pulling things out of your ass…now can you do it in the time allotted considering I don't know how long that cruiser is going to stick around."
"Yes but it's going to take some time…as for the meantime…just have to wait and see."
Sheppard scratched his head, "Wait and see…Rodney if we only have 2 hours until boom lights out, we need to get to work on this now! So jump to it."
Rodney glared. The gall. The complete utter gall of this man who had for the past couple of hours had been acting like a drunken idiot had the nerve to say jump to it. "I'll have you know that when and if I can get this slime blob off, when get back to Atlantis…I get my chocolate supply got it!"
At first Sheppard couldn't understand Rodney…at a time like this when they were possibly going to eaten up by goo or get taken prisoner by a Cruiser, Rodney had to choke him for chocolate supplies…then he remembered some of it…oh God he remembered his…
yick…thought Sheppard, as he made a run for the nearest water bottle he could find. Gargling it, his face made up in a disgusted scowl, Rodney glared at him.
"Oh please…so now you remember…look just keep quiet so I can get to it…you go jump to waking up the Tweedles…they are in the way."
Glaring, Sheppard resisted the urge to smack Rodney, as he narrowly tripped on a black container right where he was walking.
This was not his day…bad day…bad day…bad day…thought Sheppard, as he slapped the first man, who had begun to suck his own thumb.
A/N:More troubles to follow. Poor guys...muahahah!